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Author Topic:   Painful Relationships
Dazzled
Knowflake

Posts: 7
From: It's a Fine City.
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 14, 2009 07:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dazzled     Edit/Delete Message
I'm sure most of us had them, whether they are romantic, friendship, familial or even working relationships.

What do you think are the aspects that would signify this for you?

I'm currently going through this very painful relationship with a friend. It has many of the classic aspects for painful relationships ( I think) I am always so tempted to post our charts just to relieve that pain a little if someone could just point out something.

Sometimes I think love and hate are just two sides of the same line.

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winky_winky
unregistered
posted February 14, 2009 08:37 AM           Edit/Delete Message

For me, probably an afflicted Uranus in synastry.

I have also experienced harsh Pluto and Saturn, but my most painful relationship involved so many Uranus oppositions I just can not overlook them.

I am very fixed,thus find Uranus´energy destabilizing and, ultimately, very painful...

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Atlenta
unregistered
posted February 14, 2009 09:51 AM           Edit/Delete Message
I think moon-mars relationships are painful...
moon-pluto, and venus-pluto

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Aloof_Obsession
unregistered
posted February 14, 2009 10:12 AM           Edit/Delete Message
Relationships in general are painful.

Can anyone truthfully say that they have experienced a relationship that has never had pain involved?

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venusmars
Knowflake

Posts: 67
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 14, 2009 10:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for venusmars     Edit/Delete Message
Im saying mars too..

3 most painful relationships(I will only give mars interaspects):

1st one lasted almost 6 years..Orbs are a little wide but we both were feeling them pretty good I assure you..

Synastry

His mars oppose my sun(6 deg)
his mars trine my moon(4 deg)
his sun conjunct my mars(3deg)
his mars oppose my mercury(4 deg)
his uranus conjunct my mars(1 deg)
his mars oppose my uranus(5 deg)

also composite sun square mars..
It was a very hard relationship including physical violence

2nd one
synastry is based on positive mars aspects but composite moon oppose mars

3rd one
synastry

his mars square my sun(3 deg)
his mars square my venus(1 deg)
his mars square my mars (1 deg)
his uranus conj my mars(7 deg)
his mars oppose my saturn(4 deg)
his mars oppose my uranus(4 deg)


my mars is in libra.It conjuncts venus,sun and uranus.
I have saturn square mars in 5 deg and moon sextile mars..
maybe thats why mars is very important in my relationships..

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Lucia23
Knowflake

Posts: 36
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 14, 2009 10:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
Can anyone truthfully say that they have experienced a relationship that has never had pain involved?

Sure, if the question includes platonic friendships...I've personally had several very lovely and painless friendships.

It's harder with romance, I think for anyone, just because of how the society is set up (based on ancient, sexist economic relationships in which there was a rigid idea of "men" versus "women")--placing so many rigid roles and expectations on one person/relationship reflects social distortion more than human happiness.

I think a lot of what makes relationships painful is contained in the natal chart, more than in synastry.

In synastry--Sun-Saturn aspects spoil the Sun's fun/sense of self; Mercury-Mercury or Sun-Mercury squares lead to intense frustration, and tough Moon-Mars and Moon-Pluto aspects can feel emotionally wounding. And Neptune can lead to the heartbreak of unrequited love.

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Plutonian Persona
Knowflake

Posts: 37
From: Denver, CO, USA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 14, 2009 10:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Plutonian Persona     Edit/Delete Message
Neptune and Saturn aspects, especially to the Moon, Venus, and Mars. These aspects are especially difficult, because the Neptune aspects usually present themselves first, so it's romance, unconditional love, etc. to begin with.

Then, over time, the Saturn aspects become apparent. It doesn't help that I'm the Saturn person literally 95% of the time. Dishing out karma/life lessons is a tough thing; it just makes me wonder what I did in my past lives!

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Lara
Knowflake

Posts: 420
From: aspideronmars
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 14, 2009 11:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lara     Edit/Delete Message
I had a classic "starts off great and deteriorates into almost killing each other" relationship/marriage.

sun conjunct moon/venus/saturn/NN/MC
moon/venus conjunct uranus
moon/venus opposing chiron
moon/venus trine AC
mars conjunct sun/mercury
mars square AC
Jupiter trine moon/venus/saturn
jupiter square mars/neptune
saturn conjunct moon/venus/saturn/NN/MC
uranus trine mars
uranus opp chiron
neptune opp mars
neptune square jupiter
pluto trine mars
pluto conjunct uranus/pluto
chiron opp uranus
chiron trine neptune/AC
AC opp sun/mercury
AC square AC

His moon was out of orb opposing my moon/venus/saturn/NN

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WaterDog
unregistered
posted February 14, 2009 01:23 PM           Edit/Delete Message
Uranus opposing/square sun in synastry for romance. Emotionally, they're just not there for me.

In friendships, I never bothered to look. I'm less emotionally invested in friendships than romantic relationships.

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Dazzled
Knowflake

Posts: 7
From: It's a Fine City.
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 14, 2009 01:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dazzled     Edit/Delete Message
Thank you for sharing your experiences everyone

Whew, there are quite a few aspects listed here. I think it'll be good to analyse how some of the aspects work out in your relationships, it'll help to distinguish between the illusory pain of Sun/Neptune and the restriction of Saturn/Sun.

We have almost all the planets listed here except for Jupiter. It really must be quite true that even bad aspects to Jupiter doesn't harm the relationship much.

This might sound weird but, I've never had a romantic relationship before. Although I treat my friends like lovers. Not in the sexual way but how I emotionally invest myself in them.

A bit heartwrenchingly, I have most of the aspects listed here with my friend(Sun/Saturn, Sun/Neptune, Sun/Uranus, Mars/Saturn, Moon/Pluto, Venus/Pluto, Sun/Mercury, Moon/Mars etc etc), a lot of them even double whammies. I don't even know how to separate the aspects from each other.

I think one of the most painful aspect would be Sun Square Chiron exactly. The person's very essence is wounding. How do you even escape from that? But Chiron is supposed to be about learning too, so perhaps you have to learn through being hurt.


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Lara
Knowflake

Posts: 420
From: aspideronmars
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 14, 2009 02:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lara     Edit/Delete Message
Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward have a sun/chiron square

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MyVirgoMask
Knowflake

Posts: 247
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted February 14, 2009 02:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MyVirgoMask     Edit/Delete Message
Sun/Neptune square is generational too sometimes. Everyone born with Neptune in Sagittarius squares my Sun in synastry. I think it's important to keep in mind which aspects would naturally oppose or square your sign due to generational, and to also keep in mind which aspects are in your natal chart anyway and become re-enforced in synastry.

And that would include Chiron too, btw, since it's in one sign for each generation. Maybe just the tighter orbs would be felt more.

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Arnicka
unregistered
posted February 14, 2009 10:29 PM           Edit/Delete Message
the 2 that tend to hurt me are mercury conj or square saturn.

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MyVirgoMask
Knowflake

Posts: 247
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted February 15, 2009 12:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MyVirgoMask     Edit/Delete Message
Oh, and Moon square Saturn.....brrrr, cold and harsh

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Glaucus
Knowflake

Posts: 163
From: Sacramento,California
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 15, 2009 02:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Glaucus     Edit/Delete Message

My exgf's Moon conjunct Saturn conjunct my Sun. Her obligations to her mother held her back from me. So I have to say that's the painful synastry aspect.

sighs


Raymond

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