posted April 15, 2009 08:22 AM
Nema, I don't know about what others do but I wouldn't give any weight to the SN as a point in the aspect configurations. It's alright to consider aspects to the nodes in terms of the nature of the node but I don't use it the other way if that makes sense.So in those aspect patterns I think your main focus would be the yod. Is Chiron in Capricorn? If so then this may have a theme of wounding by the father, with Neptune on the IC - an alcoholic? and pretty unavailable as a role model though probably quite a larrikin with lots of funny jokes and stories.
So yes, I think with a yod you would feel like you have a 'calling'. I'm thinking with the Mars/Pluto in Leo, you have quite a job with keeping people on track - just as you say you do for your friends and I think your father's personality was a blessing because you learnt to see that people have hidden worth despite outer failings.
You have to ease up on yourself though because you have a tendency to overwork yourself to try and make up for others' deficits. Subconnsciously you don't want to let the team down - you like to show people how its done so that they can get up to speed - there is anxiety there that you may look around and feel that you didn't keep an eye on someone's progress and they fell by the wayside - you probably would blame yourself.
So, now given the fact that you just landed into your chart at birth, let's consider what this chart is trying to prove, that is where is your direction and sense of meaning?
I would say you are very, very angry and this is tiding over from something prior. You have a backlog of feeling that people have let you down and stopped you from some of your attainments - is it educational?
Still you don't really expect that others will assist you, you tend to get the job done under your own steam, however, you do tend to do more than your share as I said so as to make up for any possible lack in others. I think you have faith in your abilities and this tends to make you think that you've put the effort in and you are bound to see the results.
In terms of future interest in what is in store for you, I think you have been 'waiting to exhale' as they say. And the picture I get is hot air ballooning so I don't know whether that will be a literal outlet for you or perhaps only metaphorically speaking.
I would suggest working at your leisure. Keep your same methods, everything is working well, but yes blow out some of that pent up stuff and apply it to a bit more fun. Let others sort it out for themselves a bit more - let them try and keep up with you rather than you feel you have to coach, shoulder, and drag them along.
Hope this is a reasonable set of ideas for you.