posted March 31, 2009 04:28 PM         

So throughout the year i've been battling with my immense infatuation because, as my lovely PeaceAngel likes to say, "If he's with someone and is unavailable to you there is a reason for that". Very wise, Miss PA. So i've been listening. Keeping my distance.

AND YET, the universe keeps throwing us together! I see him EVERYWHERE. When we see each other, most of the time we don't speak. We're both to stunned to make our mouths work. We just look at one another. For ages.

So, what is a girl to freakin' do? I feel like the universe is testing me. But testing me for what? He's in a relationship and i don't want to ruin that from him, but i can't keep doing this to myself. I don't want to like him and not be allowed to express it because it makes me HATE him and HATE myself. No good. Not healthy.

Advice?

posted March 31, 2009 04:41 PM           

Why can`t you like him and express that "liking", without further expectations?

you know Iīve had similiar feelings for someone, over many many years, and the universe also threw us together again and again (well, kind of at least), but not for the purupose of getting together, but for me to realize and say to myself: "Yes, I love him, but I let him go (emotionally)"
This part of letting go was important for me, cause it means I have set myself free, too.

I still have the most positive, loving feelings for that man and I will always have, but they are kind of "unconditional" now.

Of course that is just my experience, and yours could be different.
But I guess if you meet again and again, he`s there to teach you something. Of course neither of us knows what that is. But you`ll find out.
Just donīt get stuck in this, please?

If there is something serious between you (from his perspective), he will make the needed steps.

I really really wish
he would. You deserve so much happiness and love.

BTW it seems his Valentine ocnjuncts your Sun, so I guess, judging from that alone, htere is affinity and sympathy and affection from him to you there.

posted March 31, 2009 04:53 PM           

His Juno is cj. your "Lust" - huh. You feel "turned on" by his relationship (style)? On the other hand: Your Juno cj. his Pluto - a strong influence from his side.

Your Sun cj. his Valentine: Who is allured by whom with that? His Sun on your 5th house-cusp: Again a strong "turned on"-factor for you. His Venus on your Nemesis though ... maybe a hint on the difficulties involved.

Also his IC cj. your NN. There are several threads on NN-conjunctions in Synastry around ... check these, if you feel like. I used to be the NN-person in a strong Synastry as well (my NN cj. the man's Vertex) - and is was no way easy (for me.)

Some STRONG attraction in that Synastry you posted. Mainly ... from your side. But I'd have to take another look at a different time of day. ;-)

posted March 31, 2009 05:10 PM         

His birthtime is estimated- he said sometime around 9ish. So the exact ASC degrees are unknown. He most DEF is a Taurus Rising though. The way he dresses is like other Taurus ASC i know.

It's ok if the attraction is stronger on my side- don't worry about it. It figures. The aspects show that he's hitting me from every which way, so. Thanks.

DD,

Thank you. I think i am ready to be in a relationship again. I'm in a place where i think i'm stable enough to fall in love. I checked and my progressed venus is less than 1 degree conjunct my natal Sun (which i've heard insinuates a new romance).

But like you said, he could be here to teach me something- but what? Patience? "You can't always get what you want"?? I think i've learned those lessons by now!

Why can't i express to him my feelings without expecting anything? I don't know... I'm going to be lame and throw to you the fact that my Venus is in Cancer and the WORST thing in the world that could ever happen to me would be rejection. And with the likelihood of being rejected being so great, i feel like it would send me into a sincerely melancholy state. I want that like i want a fever blister.

posted March 31, 2009 05:28 PM           

"I think i am ready to be in a relationship again. I'm in a place where i think i'm stable enough to fall in love."
That`s beautiful. If you`re ready, the right one will come along, no matter if it`s him or someone else.

" I checked and my progressed venus is less than 1 degree conjunct my natal Sun (which i've heard insinuates a new romance)."
Cool. I also have a romance-progression as my progressed ASC is conjunct my Venus.
Let`s wait and see what`s going to happen in our lives. (of course it could also relate to creativity or a new passion (hobby) or something like that).

Venus is the ruler of your DSC though, so I think it is very likely that new relationship is in the making.

""You can't always get what you want"?? I think i've learned those lessons by now!"
I don`t know.
I often thought I had learned my lessons, and yet they got repeated again and again. It`s probably a sign that there is still something to learn in it.

"I'm going to be lame and throw to you the fact that my Venus is in Cancer and the WORST thing in the world that could ever happen to me would be rejection."

I can understand that. My Venus is in Capricorn and we are more sensitive to rejection than most people give us credit for (we need to be so controlled, or others would see, how easy it is to hurt us).

I think this fear of rejection, if it is REALLY huge and deep, is maybe a sign that something isn`t quite right with the way we value ourselves.
If we depend on the appreciation of others that much, we maybe need to learn to find value in ourselves first.

Don`t get me wrong, rejection ALWAYS hurts, but there is a difference between hurting and feeling "destroyed" and "desperate" by a rejection. I donīt know if that is the case with you; it was with me in the past.

I know that you feel very attracted to him, but even in the case that he would reject your feelings, it wouldn`t be the end of the world. It would show clearly that he`s not good enough for you though. Or let`s say that he is not the right one for you.

But what I meant is rather, why not have a friendship with him?
And then you`ll see if he likes you or how much he likes you, or if you`ll like him at all, if you get closer to him?

Sorry, if I am not very coherent today.

posted March 31, 2009 06:10 PM         

But speaking honestly, and astrologically, i don't think i could look at him as just a "friend". I mean, i've tried the whole friend thing with him- the "getting to know you" chit chats... but really, the entire time i have an alterior motive. I'm thinking, "Oh, well i want to listen to this CD so i can go talk to him about it and spend time with him."

Yeah. I fail.

posted April 05, 2009 03:48 AM         

Valentine conjunct your MC - he really admires what you do. Is acting your main program of study? Then he is attracted to your artistic (dramatic) flair - your confidence that actors possess. Get him to watch you from the audience - that will send him over!!!

His South Node is conjunct your Lust - I've read SN makes one feel too comfortable (after a while), but I think SN can give quite an intense feeling for whatever it's coming into contact with.

Your Chiron is trine his Sun - this makes him feel warm and loving - he is healed by your presence.

His Chiron is opposite your Uranus - he may surprise you somehow. I'm going to be bold here and say that I wouldn't be surprised if he hurts you with his words.

Your North Node is close to his MC. I'm thinking that maybe he feels he needs your energy to do well at college. In some way, he benefits with you around.

His Mars and Jupiter in your 7th, adding strength and desire for him to stimulate energy in a relationship way.

Valentine conjunct Sun - there it goes again - he really likes your energy, your persona!!

Moon conjunct Eros - this is what stops him in his tracks and makes him stare at you. The desire to draw you close for an ultimate intimate encounter is strong.

Pluto conjunct Juno - no wonder you feel the way you do. Both of your Junos are conjunct with significant contacts. Now this is really telling a powerful story. You desire him to envelope you with his every being, and he will be willing and able to do this for you!!

Your Juno, Valentine Asc makes you naturally alluring, meta - you sexy thing, you!!

posted April 05, 2009 12:17 PM         

Wow. That must have taken courage- to put yourself out there like that. I admire that. And truly, it's a smart idea.

posted April 05, 2009 12:25 PM         

Thank you so much for your report. I am very appreciative of your expertise. A great deal of what you wrote makes sense. However, what you said sort of conflicts with what alvarella said in that, she predicted i was more fond of him, and to me you're predicting he's rather fond of me.. But i suppose that could equate to BOTH of us being equally fond! lol!

In all honesty, i'm realllllyyyyy, realllyyyyy hoping that something will happen. But i know that's bad karma. Because in order for me to have a romance with him, his relationship would have to end. And that just seems irrevocably selfish on my part.

The other day, i did this experiment. I told myself, "Meta, if you see him standing outside Taylor Hall after math class, then you should go for it. But if you do not, that's the universe telling you to let it go and move on." Well, that day my Calculus Professor decided to let us out ten minutes early... and needless to say, there was no boy standing there, smoking a cigarette.

posted April 05, 2009 12:43 PM           

Indeed, KOIFLOWER (whose wisdom I appreciate a lot!!!) opened up a new perspective.

Indeed, I may tend to see Valentine, Lust and other asteroids in a different light ... maybe just due to other books I've read and other expriences I have made. If person A's "Lust" is activated in Synastry ... it remains person A's Lust - and does not mean that the other person feels "lusty" as well ... In my opinion. And Valentine ... is a huge charmer, in my understanding. It can work both ways, that the Valentine-person is "charming" the Sun-person with all his (deliebrate) magic ... ("playing" with the Sun-person...). It can also work the other way around, that the Sun's personality is alluring to the Valentine-person.

Fact is: Some strong chemistry going on here, in the chart you posted! And even though you're not sure about his house cusps, you can be sure about your own house cusps, right? And from that, one thing is for sure in any case: If his birth date is correct, his Vertex falls into your 12th house. And his Moon in you 8th. No wonder, that you feel the earth moving, in some way.

Don't be hasty or impatient with this thing, observe it a bit longer. And then ... finding a way to "let him know" might be the right advice. See what happens then. Just one thought: I would NOT do that via e-mail!!! You'd put yourself in an awful position then, "waiting for his repsonse", not being sure how to interpret his behaviour, when you bump into each other next time ... I'd recommend you'd find a "real life situation" ... just tell him, in a way ... eye to eye - so that you can see his immediate, spontaneoous reaction. Just the way he might look at you then and all ... this will tell you ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW then. It takes some courage to do it this way, in a personal talk, looking eye to eye. But writing an e-mail ... will only increase the complications and irritations and will make you feel less secure. Rather: grab him one day and tell it to him - you seem to be a sensitive and clever person - you'll find an appropriate way to "let him know".

Good Luck!

posted April 05, 2009 01:10 PM         

I did the same thing. I highly suggest you do it in person NOT BY EMAIL!! I guarantee, you will be excruciatingly proud of yourself for telling him how you feel, but make sure that it is without expectation.

Another thing to remember, you are both incredibly young and young people tend to hold on to the idealism of perfect relationships, etc. He may be doing that with the woman he's currently with. I know I did it for several years because I thought that's what I was supposed to do. Even after the relationship didn't work for me anymore and 2 of my soulmates passed by because I was attached to a dead relationship thinking that was what I was required to do. If one of my soulmate men had told me what I told my soulmate, I would have ended the bad relationship in a heartbeat.

I'd like to make a prediction:

Something will happen with you both.

As Pluto is now retrograde and will soon oppose his Chiron, that rules his 5th House of romance, there is a HIGH PROBABILITY of a break up with someone. This is echoed by transiting Saturn, when transiting Saturn reaches 19 degrees 28 minutes of Virgo, it will be exactly Quindecile his Mercury which also rules his 5th House of Romance. This is another signal of a possibly end to relationship. This is possible between August, September and October, so it's not right away.

When I say this I hope you take it the way I mean it. I'm an old folky telling you that you both are young and just starting out in life. You're babies (yeah, I said it. ) Neither of you is married and this is a testing period of relationship for young people. He is probably learning that he needs to man up and admit to himself that he's in love with someone else.

THAT'S LIFE!! IT HAPPENS!! He may need to get his courage up to tell this other person that he's in love with someone else.

I've done it, other people here have done it.

I only say it because, these are some fantastic measurements you've got with him. It's rare, it doesn't come along every day. Life is messy. Life is grey area. I know you don't want to ruin someone elses relationship. You don't have the power to do that. You do have the power to test reality. You don't know what their relationship is like. If their relationship is strong and meant to be, then you're telling him about your feelings won't bust it up. You're telling him your feelings could be just the catalyst he's been waiting for to motivate himself to do what it right for him. To move on in his life, to let himself have the love he deserves.

Not only that, you could be doing her a favor as well. She may be in the same situation, holding on to something that's not right for her. She gets to move on to her soulmate.

These are just probabilities that I'm presenting. I recommend you tell him, for God's sake DON'T DO IT IN AN EMAIL!!!!

That's part of the courage. In the end, if nothing works out for you in this arena, I assure that you'll be proud of yourself for revealing the feelings and the sense of relief it offers you is profound. And in the end, you're not just telling him, you're telling God/The Universe that one of his/it's creations has moved you and amazed you beyond words.

My prediction stands, something is in the works.

posted April 05, 2009 01:55 PM           

those were some great analysis you have been given here.

And yes, I think you`re right. If you`re really attracted to someone, being his friend will never be enough, it might hurt too much.

Also, I think, if he feels the same about you, he will have no other choice but breaking up with his girlfriend.
But if that happens, please do not ever feel guilty about it.

I agree with GV here, sometimes you hold on to a relationship, that doesn`t fulfill you anymore, just because you can`t let go.
Usually if you really fall in love, it becomes unbearable being stuck in such a relationship.
But the other party (you) is not guilty about such a break up.

And if he is happy with his girlfriend, then you could not break this up either. He wouldnīt have eyes for you.

Ultimately it`s his choice. But I understand that you feel uncertain about it.

posted April 05, 2009 02:29 PM         

i wouldn't feel too guilty if his current relationship breaks up in this stage of life, with the proviso that you are not "going after him" and disregarding that someone's feelings may be hurt. it is HIGHLY unlikely that the other girl will not get over it, and quickly!! but if you actively pursue someone who is with someone else it will probably come back on you at some point...

but your motives and actions should be as honest and above-board as possible. and if you can be practicing unconditional love as DD suggested, if you do get together it can only help your eventual relationship.

posted April 05, 2009 03:10 PM         

I am young and you are even younger, you should really try not to let your infatuations get the better of you. It is possible he just wants to be friends. and it is possible he's not the love of your life.

I've come to realize that if a guy really likes you, likes you enough to leave his gf for you, likes you enough to make the first move. No matter how shy he is if it's intense enough it will come together in spite of every circumstance throwing you two in different directions it will happen.

And second of all, I have to tell you another thing. I've come to realize intense attractions to people that are already taken are psychologically an indication of obsession. the more you can't have something you want the more you want it. in fact i would be willing to bet that if tomorrow he became available you would not feel the attraction anymore.

i am sorry if i offended you in any way but i just couldn't not point out what i'm noticing.

posted April 05, 2009 11:29 PM         

In person is good.

I normally am veeerrrry anti- moving in on someone else's boyfriend, but it's college. They probably won't be together forever, and at the very least maybe you would enjoy a friendship with him.

posted April 06, 2009 10:36 AM           

I experienced this multiple times, so i can say that its very true. But you can't lose anything if you tell him how you feel, just make sure that you will be able to move forward.

With time you will realize why you're attracted to guys who are taken. I went through many painful lessons with guys who didnt want anything from me, yet i had strong feelings for them. But i learned a lot from them, and now im happy with my bf, who i met some weeks ago.

So just always look forward, and never hate yourself.

posted April 06, 2009 01:11 PM         

I have taken into consideration just about everything that you have all said here. In fact, it was my intention to declare my crush rather casually and non-chalantly the next time i saw him.

Well, the "next time i saw him" was just a few minutes ago, in the dining hall.

I feel very all-over-the-place. Sometimes i get a strong vibe that he wants to talk, hang out, have a serious conversation. Other times i get a strong feeling of avoidance. The avoidance almost always occurs when he is with his girlfriend. There's a different kind of tension when he sees me and is with her. Like a, Please don't talk to me, or look at me type feeling from him. It makes me sincerely uncomfortable, and i walk away feeling drained. Right now i feel pretty hopeless! No good!

I think it's great advice to actually spend more time with him, but in truth, that seems like an impossibility. If i asked him to hang out, i feel like there would be this unspoken connotation that i want to hang out because i am attracted to him. And that the two of us spending time together would feel like we're crossing some line. I remember the first time we were together alone, he didn't make hardly any eye contact with me. And he kept rubbing the back and side of his neck, as well as is forehead. He was uncomfortable. That's no good. Not a good sign for me.

It has occured to me that he's looking at me because i'm looking at him. It's highly likely... yes...

The signs are pointing to this not working out. It reallyyy seems like this isn't meant to happen. And, you know, that's fine. If it's not mutual, it's not mutual. And if he's truly in love with someone else, then he's truly in love with someone else. Maybe this just isn't meant to happen for me. And i have to accept that.

posted April 06, 2009 03:09 PM         

Obviously he's attracted. Seems very obvious to me. Something is demanding to happen, so right now it's just about letting it unfold, and seeing what he does....

posted April 06, 2009 04:41 PM         

The fact that you occasionally run into him when he is with his girlfriend is NOT good. I have to take back my advice about telling him how you feel, because it will make for icky situations for you in the future.

Just let go of that guy. Just let go. Taken men do not have to be the story of your life unless you make it so.