posted April 08, 2009 11:55 PM         

Many people choose to spend their lives bonding closely, with special intimacy, with one other person in a monogamous relationship, while others experience and explore more than one great love.

No aspect or set of aspects in a star chart--which, statistically, each of us has with thousands of other human beings--dictates that two people are fated to be together.

The term soulmate is a nice term to use if you're in a real relationship of mutual love, but many people use the idea as a way to fantasize about relationships that they aren't really living out--"He's my soulmate, but we can't be together, because he's married to another." Many of these connections fall apart when (if) the people actually try to live together.

Real-life connections that evolve each day between people who are openmindedly and openheartedly discovering each other are more romantic than that fantasy idea of a "soulmate", I think. And if people who are doing that like to use that romantic term, good for them. But it reaaaallly ought to be scrapped as an idea like, "My one Other Half is Out There, and when I meet her things will be Perfect and I'll be Rescued." Or, "George, my married boss at work who I slept with once, is my Soul Mate because--look at this intense synastry!!!--our Vertexes fall in each other's seventh house."

I bet that idea was invented by someone with an afflicted Neptune.

posted April 09, 2009 04:44 AM           

Personally I think, astrologically you can see a deep "soul-connection", when the IC, 4th house, ruler of 4th house or Moon is hit and especially when those are in aspects to Sun, ASC, ruler of ASC or NN.

If they are in aspect to Venus or Mars, or there is an activation of the 1st, 5th, 8th and 7th houses, then there might be the potential of being romantic soulmates (romantic doesn`t imply that it would be a happy romantic attraction though; it just sais that romantic issues will play a role; could also be a rejection scenario depending on the aspects).

If those planets / points (Moon, IC, ruler of IC) are in strong aspect to themselves or Sun and ASC (or even Neptune and Pluto in very tight orb) or involving the 8th and 12th house, it might be "only" a soul connection without romantic attraction. Even though the 8th house can go both ways.

Another thing I noticed about "soul-mates" is, that they seem to mirror certain natal aspects or configurations. For example person A will have Venus conjunct Pluto and Person B might have Mars square Pluto or Venus in Scorpio or 8th house (in their natals).

Of course that holds true even for the "ordinary" attraction scenario.
Sometimes it seems (that is just an unproven thought), that if such a "mirroring" involves the outer planets (Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto) people often have the feeling of a very deep and significant (life-changing) connection (soul-mates), whereas when the inner planets are mirrored (Mercury, Venus, Mars and Jupiter) the people rather feel it as "romantic attraction" without the labeling of soulmates. Don`t know, I could be wrong though.
Yet it`s interesting, that those mirrored aspects will show up frequently in the synastry, too (and not only as generational aspects).

But of course everyone has their own definition of soulmates.

EDIT:
BTW I agree with Lucia. That thought of "He`s my other half and if I wait long enough, he`ll come to me and we`ll be happy for the rest of our lives" is a dangerous one.
It might or might not be a soulmate of some kind, but the fact that he is taken or NOT there means that a relationship is out of the question, not meant to be, or that it`s just not the right time now.
And I think, the danger lies not in developing intense feelings for someone (even if he is taken or unapproachable), but on getting STUCK on these feelings and refusing to move on.

I have a slightly different perspective on love or long distance relationships or "non existant" relationships than Lucia does. But I probably HAVE an afflicted Neptune (Neptune in 1st house conjunct Mars, ASC and NN and sextile Pluto on the MC and squaring my chartruler Jupiter, who falls in Pisces in 3rd house - unrealistic? Yeah maybe. But you have NO idea how much I learned from my ILLUSIONS ).

And that is my point, we have to differentiate between real (physical) relationships and those that only exist in our mind, spirit, fantasy, however you may call it.
But even though a "fantasy-love" of course cannot be lived the way reality-based relationships can, it doesn`t mean they are all rubbish.
There`s no togetherness, that one is true. BUT they tell you a LOT about yourself. And every emotion that you feel has consequences - for you. You learn from them, about yourself.
One just shouldn´t make the mistake to think they can dream a fantasy relationship to life.

Even though, I did dream people into my life. Even though in slightly different ways than I initially thought.

It`s a fine line between illusion and faith.