posted June 12, 2009 12:08 PM         

Back in June 2002 sitting in my doctor’s surgery, I didn't realise that I was being faced with two roads which were set to change my life forever. I suffer from asthma and was waiting to get a new inhaler but I got tired of waiting and so went home without an inhaler. That same night I had an asthma attack and was rushed to hospital and put on oxygen. The junior doctor claimed I had a chest infection and gave me antibiotics. Two weeks later I had a terrible allergic reaction – my skin continuously fell off and my feet swelled. I ended up having to spend thousands of pounds paying a homeopath to help me get better. Although I'm much better than I was back then, I'm allergic to practically everything now, including my own sweat. And I suffer from OCD and other phobias and have permanent eczema.

That day in June changed me and my journey. Over the past couple of years my life has been a rollercoaster of different jobs, unemployment, stressful house moves, mounting debt, confusion and lots of tears. I've only dated one guy for two months since 2002. I met him online. I haven't been able to meet someone in the real world as I don't get asked out as much as I did pre-asthma attack.

The good things that have happened to me on this path is that I got in touch with my immediate family in 2004 who I hadn't spoken to for six years previous to that, and I got to make amends with my grandmother before she died in 2007. I've also completed a novel and I'm socialising much more. Unfortunately, the bad events has outweighed the good.

There's a part of me that would love to rewind back to early 2002 when I didn’t have OCD and huge debts. I'm always wondering whether my life would've been better if I'd waited for my inhaler?

Would I have found love by now or a long term job I enjoyed? Certainly back in 2002 I was planning to find a new job as I didn't like the one I was in. But I had to abandon my job hunt due to my illness. I was also planning to take driving lessons as my finances were good. I'm now hoping to finally start learning this September.

Is there any way that astrology can tell what would've been on the alternative path if a person had choosen to take that alternative path? I know I can't go back but even if I live to be 100 I'll always wonder whether this road I'm on now is the right that I chose.

Regards,
Miss Mystic
My chart: http://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=e &gif=astro_245gw_01_me_2009613.64112.17239.gif&res=100&va=&cid=v87fileYFPftR-u1241291544

posted June 13, 2009 12:57 AM         

While it is good to be introspective and learn from the past, especially your mistakes, if you ruminate too much on the past you will eventually go mad.

I used to constantly second guess myself by questioning whether I made the right choice or not. Such actions helped to totally undermine my self-confidence to the point that I'd pull the rug from under myself at the most inopportune moments.

I've read a lot of your posts on both LindaLand and Astrology Weekly and the constant theme that goes through them is one of constant uncertainty and self-doubt. You sound a lot like the "old-me" and since you and I are exactly one year apart (I'm 22 Oct 79) this is hardly surprising.

The one thing that helped me more than anything else was to tap into two planatary energies: Virgo Saturn and Libra Pluto. Your Saturn energies will ground you and make you self-confident by figuring things out by yourself and believing that your decisions were the correct ones because you've done the detailed Virgoan leg-work. Pluto will transform you and your relationships if you realize that you have the power to perform this transformation. YOU CAN DO IT!

It's as my quote by Frost says, the only way out of your troubles is through them.

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"The only way out is through" ---Robert Frost

posted June 13, 2009 11:21 AM         

but i think it's fair and fine to think this way. i'm sure everyone feels this way a lot of the times. i know i do. i'm really sorry about what happened to you but really glad for you that you survived it. just think of it this way...since 2002 you've survived all of that. now that's awesome. that's an awesome story to tell people. and also think of it this way, can somebody else go through what you went through and still be alive today? you're a strong person. remember that. reading what you went through i know i don't think i'd be able to do it.

sometimes you can't go back and sometimes you can. the stuff you thought you would've done back then, try to do them now. even if it's the one thing. just do it. my problems or issues aren't as huge as you but in the last year and a bit i have been able to go back and rewrite my chances so to speak. sometimes you just gotta do it. like the what if's? yeah i did them. for me they were HUGE deals as they were out of character for me, but i did it. with support of friends of course. i find it helps to find someone you can trust to coach you and to prod you.

no time like the present they say and you gotta start with today in doing things you want to do to make yourself happy. read the book the last lecture by randy pausch. it's really inspirational for times like this.

posted June 13, 2009 11:56 AM         

I don't have anything astrological to contribute right now, but I am sending a {{{ hug }}}
It's really hard to have to deal with challenges in ALL areas of your life at the same time -- romance (or lack thereof), health, employment and finances.....
I'd like to relate an experience I had when I asked the same question as you
I'd moved across the country with my toddler to escape my ex who continued to be very abusive. I wanted to buy a house, and had narrowed down the selections to two. I called my dad and asked him, "How will I know I'm making the right choice if I pick the house by the park?" He laughed at me, and said, "Z, no one can know that!! You just make the best choice you can with all the information you have at the time." Brought me to a screeching halt, I can tell you
I loved my great dad and I thought he knew everything, with all the life experiences he had endured. I thought he would be able to *tell* me if I was on the right path

Were I you, I would try to get my health back on track first. I loathe going to regular doctors so I'm pleased to hear you're seeing a homeopath. If you would like some suggestions (asthma *is* chronic, but *can* be controlled without drugs/inhalers, imho) please write to me or put up a post in the Health & Healing forum here (since this is the Astro forum, but here's one link anyway: http://www.earthclinic.com/CURES/asthma.html )
One question: Have you tried Kombucha??

posted June 13, 2009 06:12 PM         

When i read this thread i feel FATE. It was totally the right decision because there was something more important than the Universe needed to get your attention on.

posted June 13, 2009 06:38 PM         

What I see is that with your natal planets in scorpio and Virgo, you were faced with a series of adverse transits from Neptune in Aqua and Pluto in Sagg that were like double whammies. Neptune tends to confuse matters when it comes to illnesses, and Pluto can make you feel like you're under siege. Of course, I speak metaphorically. I am not saying that the planets "do" anything to us, it's just that "as above so below", so the planets are a mirror image of what we feel is happening to us.