posted June 16, 2009 05:07 AM         

My five year relationship recently ended. I've never tried for anything harder in my life. What hurt me the most was we didn't hate each other or anything like that. My feelings never changed and I believed she still had feelings for me too. She said that I'm an ideal future husband, but she didn't believe in us. You might say it's a gentle let down but I have strong reasons to believe she meant it. If the problem was me or us, I'd be happier leaving the relationship. However, I felt that she needed help and I couldn't. I sensed in her a mix of fear of losing freedom (Uranus in fifth house?) and fear of making mistakes (seventh house in Capricorn?) that small obstacles in our relationship got amplified and she went into escape and never came out (Cancer asc, Pisces moon?) Please understand that I'm in no way blaming her, just trying to understand her through astrology. I felt that she wanted the relationship and feared it at the same time. There's this invisible wall between us and I couldn't break through. Felt so powerless...

Years ago, based on some other predictive methodologies, I was told that relationship would be the worst aspect of my life and at least the first serious one would fail. I didn't pay much attention and believed with will power I could fix it. Now i'm not so sure. It's disheartening to think that this could be the pattern of my relationships.

I'm starting to question why. Am I just unlucky or is the problem actually me? I'm a newbie in astrology. I found out that I have Neptune in seventh house, opposite Venus in first house. Neptune also makes a grand trine with two other planets. And Sun is in twelve (Pisces) house. Seems like it plays a heavy role in my chart. All books and web sites seem to agree that this makes the person delusional in love. I wonder if this is true, if she didn't really have feelings for me and I just imagined it, if I should stop feeling guilty and put her out of my mind because she's probably having fun somewhere.

Is Neptune that bad? Can it play out in a positive way or am I doomed to being delusional? Of course I don't think I am. I think I could be quite grounded in fact. Taurus, hello!? Will I have a happy relationship? Any red flags in my chart? I would really appreciate if someone could take a look at my chart.

If you're patient enough to read this far. Thanks!

posted June 16, 2009 05:25 AM         

The positive side of Neptune is being able to perceive illusion, too. Neptune's a tricky planet to understand, especially if it's strong in your chart, you wonder whether you're being a fool sometimes. You have some nice aspects from Neptune, and even the opposition to Venus I think is a good thing. I think it makes you think over your motives. Strong Neptune does give people a kindness, and I think that comes across very strongly in what you say about her. It's in your 7th. I wouldn't personally be worried about that (in terms of rose-coloured glasses) because you must also remember the positive aspects of a planet. Neptune represents higher love. Seeing the good in people. Being kind and compassionate. Even though you are upset you are trying to understand. Neptune understands.

The Cancer moon is nice and there's a sextile between your Sun and Moon that would also help with the feelings of groundedness.

It doesn't sound too much like you're deluding yourself, and you seem to perceive her very clearly. I won't say anything much more about your natal if you don't mind - because I'm learning too, but I will be interested to see what others say.

posted June 16, 2009 06:33 AM         

I think I understand what you're say, though. You want to know whether you'll always see prospective partners through the veil of illusion and then fall flat on your face. Sort of like what happened to me in my current marriage. Started with a bang, ended up real flat. Well, even if you did have a tendency to do that, you could live with the person for two, three years and that time period should give you tremendous insight into their character.

posted June 16, 2009 08:43 AM         

I prefer the spiritual interpretations of Neptune rather than delusionary ones.

posted June 16, 2009 09:15 AM         

Rose-coloured glasses aren't the doom of relationships. You aren't doomed.

posted June 16, 2009 09:57 AM         

I guess that your gf seems to still have feelings for you, but just as you said, insecure if things could truly work out or not. This might have to do with self-confidence, but if so, then she has to overcome it by herself. She has to learn how to trust herself, not feeling afraid of trying, telling her heart that it's normal that there are problems even in the best relationships too, and that she has to give it a chance if she truly values it, without being afraid of breaking it. In relationships, it's unavoidable to hurt each other or that things might not always go right, but we also try to heal each other and work things together. So try to make her realize that you're there to work things out with her, and not afraid of facing hardships together. But well, in the end, she has to get out of the wall by herself.

I have Pisces DC, and my Neptune is kinda prominent in my chart. I do see things in a rosey way, although not necessarily delusional (I think lool). It's more about confusions or lack of self-confidence thought. >_<"

posted June 18, 2009 04:18 PM         

I own one of those moons an have an afflicted Venus in Pisces. My delusion was settling for the first guy to come along and not holding back. Venus square Neptune for me is always rose colored glasses....I had to learn who is right for me and who is not and if I was in love with being in love or did I really love the person. was I swept away by my emotions at the start of the relationship - like a honeymoon phase or was I realistic and stable enough to see where the reality of things with a man was. Was I in a relationship just to have a family or did I want to truly share my life with a man.

I have questioned myself with relationships and where I stood and felt so confused with my relationship wants and needs. For a while there I prided myself on being successfully single.......

I find with my rose tinted glasses that I need to take a more realistic and grounded view of the man - woman relationship.

But on the other end of the stick with settling and sometimes rushing things I didn't always chose a man who was good and healthy for me and I stayed in a relationship for a long time cause I refused to realistically look at things. (I figure a bunch of it had to do with my upbringing cause I didn't have any healthy relationships with my family and attracted folks who were not good for me.)

well that was my subjective 2 cents....sorry I could be more objective....those were some ideas.....Venus square Neppy could be like the 7th house Neptune....The questions that I put down may lead to some soul searching insights with trying to put the pieces together. I'm just listing off my experiences/observations of it all.