posted June 16, 2009 07:02 AM         

I'm supposed to be organising other people and I realise (despite Virgo rising) that I am no good at it. I can do it, but I don't enjoy it. I don't feel at home in my work. I support the aims of the organisation, but that's about it. I don't have any technical knowledge of the work that the other people do. I feel unimportant (this isn't a pride thing as in recognition, glory - it is a pride thing that I want to do well and I'm not doing well because I don't enjoy myself). I want to feel like I'm learning something and I'm not learning anything. I've outgrown the job.

I feel like I'm dying here. The people are lovely but the work is not challenging. It's desk based admin and I don't get out and I don't meet anyone and I'm dying on the vine. There are, I suppose, ways that I could improve it but I don't want to. Total apathy. I just want out.

What I would like to do is work for myself, I would like a creative job. I don't care about a lot of money, enough to pay the bills. I would like to make things, buy things, sell things - online and in person. A bit of this and a bit of that. I would like to go into business with someone. I would like a cafe. All these things are unformed, I know. I just know what I don't want, and it's this.

posted June 16, 2009 07:17 AM         

Just through our correspondence here at LL, I would have thought that you are a writer, or make a living writing - journalism or speeches, or just writing for others. Seems to fit you. You are so clever with words - very very witty and very very funny. I always think of you as a writer.

posted June 16, 2009 07:21 AM         

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posted June 16, 2009 07:27 AM         

In favour of Virgo rising is: I love cleaning and my house etc (chills me out) but then that could be Venus/Neptune in the 4th, I love making lists and I am a quite critical. I am also quite reserved until you know me well.

posted June 16, 2009 07:28 AM         

From day one with you - in my mind - you are a writer. I don't know why - but I've always thought that that's what you do. And whenever we speak, that's always the predominant thought about you. I think you are so so smart and incredibly clever with words. That you used to win competitions - no surprises to me.

posted June 16, 2009 07:33 AM         

Thanks PA, it's hard to see yourself sometimes huh? I appreciate your thoughts, that gives me a little confidence and hope.

I guess first priority is to get my own computer (Pisces has a spare laptop, I may grabit off him like he said I could) and get some time to write then. Get online maybe, start small, sell stuff. I've got an eye for what sells on ebay and stuff, I know that much.

posted June 16, 2009 07:41 AM         

Saturn's transiting your first. Give yourself a break. I think you are just incredibly intelligent. Positive/honest input from others does help you see yourself. If your inner dialogue is poised at seeing flaws that takes a toll. I've learnt the hard way. People around you can give valuable insights into showing you the best of yourself. Don't discount them because they are a compliment. Take them on the chin, with gratitude.

posted June 16, 2009 07:43 AM         

I would be willing to bet I'm Leo then. People usually would round things up wouldn't they? What do people think? Holy crap. This would change everything.

posted June 16, 2009 07:49 AM         

wheels - if the glove fits...........

posted June 16, 2009 08:04 AM         

How freaky/awesome is this! SpankyButler just emailed me this site, and then you mention the NNs.
http://northnodeastrology.blogspot.com/search/label/North%20Node%20Fifth%20House

posted June 16, 2009 08:06 AM         

He says in regard to rising signs:
"Leo rules vital force or the optimism to start the project".
YES! YES!

"Virgo rules the attention to nitty-gritty details, testing of every line of code, testing function, analysis, Pareto 80-20 optimization, writing and checking documentation and systematic bug fixing".

Not so much. I really cannot be bothered. I am a details person but only when it's my stuff, pertaining to me.

posted June 16, 2009 08:16 AM         

It's a start. See how you get on.

It might test your eye (as in artistic), see if you can find a niche market.

Nodes: Life purpose for Capricorn NN in 5th says, "my success comes from my joy of production. I love my work."

The key word there is production. Virgoan details work well applied to artistic endeavours and I see Venus rules your M.C.

posted June 16, 2009 12:42 PM         

You've got Sun/Uranus/Mercury all in the third house- you NEED communication. So that's what i would bet on. You also have Venus in Sag, and Mars in the 9th.

So, perhaps you need to communicate with foreigners??

Or.

Maybe you need to get up and move. Change your scenery. Start anew. You could write, yes. Or you could try to go into broadcasting. Or marketing. You could focus on International products.

Or you could work in some sort of charity work, maybe? Where you share in everyone's philosophy, or belief in the common goal. You might need to reach out and help people. To put your efforts toward the greater good.