posted July 04, 2009 05:04 PM         

Excerpt:

July 1st ~ Despite the great tentativity that astrological events as profound as a Uranus opposition rightly evoke in a human life, I am content.

This morning, Herschel turned retrograde and began his slow trawl in reverse to make a second opposition to my radix Uranus which will occur on August 13th. I have weathered Saturn’s transits to Ceres/Pluto (twice so far) and have not seen my children for 10 months. I saw out the last of 5 Neptune squares this year too as my 15 year marriage dissolved and lost more or less every one of my possessions, excepting a few clothes. Then I spent a period of time homeless and had to sleep on random strangers’ sofas: but I learned a valuable lesson about compassion that way (thank you Simon) and I only hope that I can demonstrate such trust and generosity in my dealings with others. On the first pass of the Uranus opposition, my daily work as an astrologer began to really take off, to the extent that I have had to change many of my working practices. Though I earn very little considering the number of hours I have to put in, I have enough work to last me several weeks into the future and I am conducting many more personal consultations in my home, which has been deeply rewarding and enriching for all parties. I have also had Pluto transit the IC and a Solar Arc semisquare of Pluto to Mars, shining an uncomfortably bright light on my natal Mars – Pluto square. I have learned so much about myself and the uncomfortable consequences of even the most subtle of barely-conscious impetuses that I simply cannot conceive of myself in the same way any more. I do not recognise myself, but the person that I see is somebody who I am much more happy to be acquainted with. I realise that I have a way to go, but I am optimistic and I no longer wish to rail against the world or the people in it. Something difficult is gone.

In my work I see some remarkable truths. Even as I sit and explain to a person, sitting on my sofa, that they have this situation that has held them back all their lives, and even as I see them struggle to comprehend the truth and anguish of it, I, who witness it every day, am forcefully reminded of the wonder of this fleeting, myopic life we have and the axiomatic majesty of our astrology.

This astrology does not contain your purpose: it is your purpose. It might delineate your calling, or what gift you have brought into this world, but that is not a facsimile for your raison d’étre. It is a glyph which communicates the challenge which you have to transcend and the talents and abilities with which you are armed to participate in that struggle and your only purpose is to rise above.

This is not mere speculation. It is a reality that becomes instantly and intensely recognisable the very first time that you consciously forgo the easy compulsion. Why else do we consider ourselves so much freer when in our youth? Because our predilections are not yet compulsive; they have not worn themselves into grooves out of long adherence to the same easy path, it is only unfamiliarity which lends our choices such lightness in our early years, and the reality is they are not genuine choices. With time and repetition the pattern becomes an indulgence and we begin to recognise that we do not behave that way because it is right and good, but simply because it is so very much harder to do otherwise. Our sense of encroaching chagrin is not because we have chosen badly, but because we have not chosen at all! The first time we determine to try a different tack, determine not to pander to the lowest common denominator of our unwillingness (it is only that) to improve, then we have opened the door to another way and we cannot go back, at least not without being forever damaged by that choice.

I bang on about the polarity time and again, but therein lies the most wonderful of wisdoms. The test of your incarnation is contained within its opposite. The sign of Libra is a test of independence. Within Aries, there is a challenge to put somebody else’s needs first. Our astrology dictates this trial because it is the ease with which we identify with our subjective reality that underpins the difficulty we experience in trying to counter it. It is a puzzle, a gilded cage which we are designed to be comfortable within, even if it keeps us its prisoner. To experience the joy of emancipation we must learn to tumble its locks and slip out into a golden realm above and beyond our astrology.

We cannot solve the puzzle anytime we please of course. There are windows of opportunity, and these are contained within transits, progressions and directions, great and small. Every feeling of self-loathing, rage, frustration, love, joy and compassion is an opportunity: to understand something of our own puzzle. One day, you might hope to see the whole of it and I firmly believe that on that day, it will fall apart. The truly major transits are the greatest of opportunities and between the ages of 38 and 45, there is simply no greater potential for progress in the whole span of human life and our choices at this time are immensely charged. A refusal closes the door on further growth and the long, slow shuffle into materialism and death ensues. It is the conventional choice, and overwhelmingly over-subscribed. So, if you are at this same juncture, be one of the few.