posted July 05, 2009 11:12 PM         

I am a woman and clearly I am lacking in earth and water, the feminine elements. This has caused problems in my friendships with women – that along with Moon conjunct Pluto and Moon square Venus, yet I have Moon trine Mars and Mars trine Pluto. It has been easier for me to befriend and maintain friendships with males than females. Actually, I even have some issues with guys with feminine moons. With my last boyfriend, a Scorpio with Moon in Pisces, I used to say to myself “I’m so tired of being the man in this relationship!” I was the one giving the logical advice (that he hated because it was so “insensitive”) and the one calming him down. In the beginning he would even complain that I didn’t call him enough (“you could at least call to say good night” – yikes).

I think the logical responses to emotion and independence seems to come out of left field because I dress so femininely and have that calming Moon Libra voice. Then I hit them with the “It’s okay – I don’t need any help, seriously” or “I didn’t call because you said you were going to be busy”. Throws people off. I am very affectionate and I do well with other masculine-charted people, both as friends and in relationships. How can I bridge the gap? I realized that I can come on strong when trying to make friends with women, meaning I don’t mind jumping in and just striking up a conversation with one without provocation. However, now I retreat – I actually shy away from women or I lay very low when I meet potential new friends, new co-workers so I do not scare anyone off. It is tough.

posted July 05, 2009 11:27 PM         

Venus in Pisces, Neptune in Capricorn & Pluto in Scorpio

Its easier for me to befriend men than women, but mainly because I get intimidated by women I don't know My closest friends are female though.

posted July 05, 2009 11:48 PM         

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They are there and you can't just explain them away (I have a Libra Moon too and that's what I tend to do with mine).

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But nothing is better than a good pro/con list, right?

It’s not to say that I don’t have any emotions or feelings, I am just very comfortable talking about them and trying to make sense of them. I do tend to over-analyze my feelings and even the feeling of others (my big saying is, "I need to know 'the why?'" - Moon-Pluto). While this is good for my studies/future career (psychologist-sociologist-anthropologist blended something), it’s not good in friendships.

posted July 06, 2009 11:40 AM         

Im mainly water, earth, and fire (with an air venus) and I have a close friend who's made up predominantly of masculine planets but she's the insecure one who often needs the reassurance that I cannot be arsed to give all the time. She takes it personally when I do things without her, is very dependent, thrives on male attention, etc.

posted July 06, 2009 12:28 PM         

In addition to all my fire & air, I also don't think it helps that my Moon is so afflicted. Not only is it opposite my NN, but it's the base of all three of my T-Squares. It directly squares my Sun (0.7) & Pluto (0.32), and more loosely my Mercury & Saturn. It's the bully of my natal chart, totally the metaphorical boot to my face. And when you consider it's supposed to be some kind of epicenter of my feminine energy or what have you, that's a little rough.

I guess I tend to be pretty dominant in my every day life in general, so there are a lot of things I don't mind taking the reigns on. I don't mind being the mouthpiece of the relationship (not a shock, haha) or dishing out some tough love when requested, but I HATE when men turn me into their pseudo-Mommy (this happens OFTEN). My Juno is conjunct my Moon also, so everyone thinks I'm going to be the domme b**ch Momma of their dreams. There's definitely a part of me that IS that, but I'm not fond of exercising it. In reality I just want to hang out/have fun/vibe, and not have to worry constantly that my partner needs 24/7 coddling and reassurance.

Not that there's no room for romance or emoting with me, because I'm really romantic and very emotional underneath. I just despise when men expect me to tend to their every emotional whim (no matter how slight). I hate having to run around and put out all these little fires all the time- I just don't have the patience for baby games.

posted July 06, 2009 12:58 PM         

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BM - I should not have made such a broad generalization because I have had the same experience with Libra women. I read somewhere that Libra is the most feminine masculine sign and I am pretty sure that Capricorn was listed as the most masculine feminine sign. I think it is most likely because of Venus and Saturn.

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LULZ, that would explain alot. I'm also a Capricorn Asc. and I find myself relating to alot of what you guys are saying.....only I'm much less outgoing. I do consider myself yin at the core, but with a rough and independent flare to it. I thank my Asc, moon, gemini venus, and aries mars for that.

posted July 06, 2009 07:24 PM         

It was the alternator.

posted July 06, 2009 10:01 PM         

And I'm pretty odd. Not as tomboyish as I used to be, but I have strong masculine AND feminine traits, at least mentally and stylishly. I've adopted a more feminine appearance over the last few years (though still my own) because some found it pleasing and I've found it has increased my biz (and it may also be my Leo & Libran influence...). Still, there are plenty of men & women that I can get along with. But then many others find me too weird.

posted July 06, 2009 11:32 PM         

I have Sun, Asc, Mars and Jupiter all in Sag, Aqua moon, Venus in Libra and Mercury in Scorpio. I am frequently in the position of being mommy and it's annoying because I'm not necessarily a take charge person (except for my own interests) but am a good listener which is probably why...other than that, I have tons of energy and am not good at hiding feelings. Very tomboyish growing up but one thing I have learned is to ask for a man's opinion if it's in an area I have no idea whatsoever about. I like getting guys' opinions about things.

A Scorpio guy I work with used to constantly ask me if he thought he was running a fever, what he should do for a sore throat etc. that got to be annoying. We both have conjunct Mercury in Scorpio at 23 degrees and were on the same page about everything, but being his mommy got on my nerves.lol

Around my house, I do most of the things myself and get a lot of satisfaction doing things myself.

posted July 06, 2009 11:44 PM         

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.I'm not "manly" (actually most people say I'm very feminine) however I get extremely bored in conversation with women( clothes, boyfriends ). I also find men funnier, easier to deal with and much less complicated.

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Perhaps you need to look deeper into female relationships? Boys and clothes are certainly not the only things I talk about. I mean, my girlfriends and I DO talk about those things, but those are just 2 subjects. I also talk about boys/girls and clothes with my guy friends. Guys can be just as shallow as stereotypical girls. And just as complicated too. Most people are.

Idk. We live in a Patriarchy. To put other women down for stereotypical reasons does a disservice to yourself as well since you are a woman.

posted July 07, 2009 11:50 PM         

Virgo Mercury and Vertex, Scorpio Saturn

I'd say that I never really had close friendships with women, but I'm an only child and kind of a loner (maybe my Aqua Ascendant or Saturn square Asc...oh and I just found out a few minutes ago that I have asteroid Lucifer conjunct Asc!), so I never had and still don't have many close friends.

But I get along fine with people, my step-sisters in law, female co-workers, etc.

I was never athletic, but also I was never into shopping. I dress femininely but I'm not into designer clothes and all that (I especially HATE clothes shopping). Sometimes people accuse me of being too analytical. I have a degree in philosophy so I like that kind of thing. On other spiritual boards I had a guy tell me how shocked he was that I, as a female, could have an interest in Vedantic philosophy and debate with such logic. That POV obviously irritated me (see! I do have emotions!). I also have a dry sense of humor, which often times goes over some people's heads. My step-brother's wife told me the other day "I can't ever tell if you're kidding or not." this is not the first time someone has said that. That being said, I have found people who get my humor, such as my mom, my aunt, and my old boss (a man).

Also unlike most women my age, I'm not obsessed (anymore!) about finding a bf/husband. This is because a bad past relationship has taught me not to settle. I also feel confident on my own and happy with my life, so the single-scene is not for me either. I actually have been meeting with my twin-flame in the astral planes for 11 years, so that makes me especially not want to settle (I'd like to finally meet him though I'm not sure how). It also makes me especially different from most other people! It's things like this that make me not able to open up much to others, as most think I'm insane!

Regarding emotions...yes, I have them! Actually I cry at all the movies. And I've been known in the past to get too attached to someone and get my heart broken - badly. I used to be depressed as a teenager, and again to a lesser degree in my early 20's. But I will say that over time I've learned to gain control of my emotions, but also my thoughts too. This has made me a MUCH happier person.

So basically yes, I feel different than most women. But I feel different from most men too. All of my life I've felt like an 'oddball.' My two step brothers are around my age, but a bit older at ages 27 and 29. I was at a 4th of July party with them, as well as their gf and wife and also same aged cousins. Everyone I know there is so completely opposite of me. They're main source of entertainment is getting drunk, watching/playing sports, and their sense of humor is very far off from mine. They have no interest in what I am passionate about, such as spirituality, writing, mediation, reading. So I don't spend all that much time with them. But I do like them and I do spend time with them doing things we all enjoy, like hiking and camping.

posted July 08, 2009 12:08 AM         

Shankara - thanks for your story. I'm just throwing this idea in because I'm really interested in left and right brain activity. Would you say you were more right brained? Do you find that concentrating on logical concepts ie, working out a monthly budget, alleviates emotional pressures on yourself?

posted July 08, 2009 12:30 AM         

I guess I'd say I'm more right-brained but more balanced. Yes, I like logic, but I like applying it to philosophy, religion, and the nature of existence. I have had many spiritual experiences that were outside of the realm of logic and those are more real to me then most "reality." I've never been one for math, though I'd probably like it more now than I used to, mainly because I wouldn't be intimidated by it like I used to be, and also because it can be used in quantum physics, which interests me.

But then again, I like things like grammar and logic games. My favorite book is called "The Life Divine" by Sri Aurobindo, and although it is spiritual in nature, it is 1108 pages and very "heady" (it also assumes prior knowledge and research into Hindu/Vedantic philosophy), and even most of my fellow philosophy majors would have been overwhelmed by it. I'm a delver, not a skimmer (well, I'm a delver with the things I'm pasionate about, and a skimmer on less important things that I still find interesting). I love learning and I'm interested in many thing; life excites me.

I see the importance of having control over emotions (and thoughts). Emotional and mental mastery are important to me because my spiritual path requires it of me. I used to be depressed but now I am gloriously happy in situations others (including my former self) would have been miserable in, so maybe some would accuse me of being detached or unemotional. And although I am compassionate for people and the place they are at in their journey, I basically think regarding one's mental/emotional state, that their are no victims and we can all choose. So this may make me seem cold, I don't know.

posted July 08, 2009 05:25 AM         

You seem to be very self-aware and have an interest in topics of a deep intellectual spiritual nature.

What I thought was a paramount idea in relation to my question is this statement:

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I see the importance of having control over emotions (and thoughts). Emotional and mental mastery are important to me because my spiritual path requires it of me.

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This is a poignant statement (for me) as it suggests you have gone further than just self awareness. You have used your knowledge of life and life's knowledge to make cognitive choices, which in turn gives you self-empowerment.

In relation to my interest in left/brain activity, I'm surmising that your intellectual width and depth allow you to move through all types of thoughts and feelings to find a comfortable median in which to dwell.

Who knows, I may be just yabbering on, but I find people so interesting!!! I wish I could sit on another person's mountain at times, just to see their view of the world.

posted July 08, 2009 10:22 AM         

I've done a lot of serious reading on the Lilith/Luna polarity, and it would seem like their energies represent the totality of femininity. Where Luna is portrayed as compassionate, kind, nurturing and giving of herself, Lilith is described as being harder and wholly self-fulfilled, an authoritarian who willingly uses manipulation and force to protect herself and her loved ones. I feel like when you put them together (the "light" and "dark" side of the moon) you get the complex duality of femininity that exists in everyone. Everyone has both in their chart, but I'm curious to know if some women are more Lilithian than Lunar or vice versa, and how this affects their approach to life.

posted July 08, 2009 10:54 AM         

My Moon is trine Chiron exactly, trine ASC & Sun, opposite Jupiter by 1 degree, sextile Mars.

Should also look at White Moon Selena (h56 on astro). Mine is conjunct my NN and square my Mars exact.

If you couldn't tell by some of my posts, I'm a feminist (sometimes leaning toward radical feminism when you get me heated lol). I strongly believe in gender equality and I feel that gender is a social construct (like race). Nothing is inherently "feminine" it's all about society's perception.