Author
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Topic: Sun Signs and Break-ups
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Deux*Antares Knowflake Posts: 200 From: No Permanent Address Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 10, 2009 09:37 PM
Aries: Why you selfish, self-centered son-of-a-***** ! You always put your needs before mine! What about me? What about how I feel? Huh? That’s always been the problem with this relationship: everything is always about you!Taurus: **arms folded across the chest and heels firmly dug in** I’m not going to sign the divorce papers. Ever. And, no, you may not have your car keys. Gemini: Does that mean you are not coming to the book reading with me tonight? Okay, don’t worry, I’ll call Janie. And we’ll talk more about this next week when I’m back from my trip. Or you could call me while I’m on the road or text me or Facebook me. We’ll talk. Bye! Cancer: **Cancer’s eyes mist up, and the guilt-ridden spouse breaks into a torrent of words** Say something! Don’t cry! Wait, where are you going? Honey, eating that pie is not a good idea. Remember you were going to stick to your diet? Okay, fine! I’ll stay. Leo: You want to leave me? Why? What’s wrong with you? You took your medication, right? Virgo: The current stats say that one out of every four marriages end in divorce. Can’t fight the numbers, I guess. Libra: Leaving me? But I just redecorated your den! And booked us for that couples-only thing at the spa! Have you considered the pros and cons of your decision? Scorpio: **the announcement is followed by deafening silence from the Scorpio who hasn’t moved a muscle and nervous chatter from the soon-to-be-an-ex** I knew you’d take it as calmly as you always do. I mean, you are mostly calm, except a few times when you went berserk and the neighbours had to call 911. So, I’ll just leave now, okay? And please don’t do that voodoo thing. And promise me you won’t sacrifice the dog on the next full moon as a cleansing ritual just because I got him for you? Sagittarius: Jeez! Is this about the cute neighbour again? Yeah, she’s hot, but I was just giving her gardening tips. Honest! Capricorn: What about our joint-accounts and those investments we are committed to? We’re up for the country club this year, this is not a good time for you to leave. Aquarius: **looking up and sounding abstracted** I thought we were going to try and have twins so we could do research on twins? I think we can still go ahead with that. Let me check the ephemeris for your next fertile period. Shall we do it when the moon is in Gemini? That should up our chances of a multiple pregnancy. Where is the ephemeris? Hey, stop! Why are you tearing it? Pisces: **in a far away voice** We’ll always have Paris. (They’ve never been to Paris together.) http://astrologyexpressed.wordpress.com/sun-sign-humor/ ------------------ Be humble, but not weak. IP: Logged |
glamgem25 Knowflake Posts: 43 From: Texas Registered: May 2009
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posted July 10, 2009 09:44 PM
The libra one cracks me up!! Gemini is right on!IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask Knowflake Posts: 822 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted July 10, 2009 09:51 PM
Pisces: **in a far away voice** We’ll always have Paris. (They’ve never been to Paris together.) AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That's the best one
IP: Logged |
braveheart Knowflake Posts: 28 From: sydney, nsw, oz Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 10, 2009 10:19 PM
Taurus: **arms folded across the chest and heels firmly dug in** I’m not going to sign the divorce papers. Ever. And, no, you may not have your car keys.TRUE: I cross my arms and mentally dig my heels in. And I have refused to give someone their property. "smiling wryly" IP: Logged |
T Knowflake Posts: 663 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 10, 2009 11:08 PM
Too funny. I liked the Pisces one too.Though this Taurus would say: 'Dont let the door hit you on the way out' and toss his stuff out the window. IP: Logged |
Cynnared Knowflake Posts: 161 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 10, 2009 11:27 PM
hmmmmm I'm not sure about the Aries one! I'd kind of think relationship, what relationship? I want my freedom....with an ex, I put them on my proverbial catapult and shoot them away from my life and hope I never see him again..CynnIP: Logged |
Lucia23 Knowflake Posts: 655 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 10, 2009 11:46 PM
quote: Leo: You want to leave me? Why? What’s wrong with you? You took your medication, right?
Haaaa!! So true!! EDITED: By the way, no one has ever broken up with me. IP: Logged |
Redstar Knowflake Posts: 78 From: Australia Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 11, 2009 12:26 AM
Last time I broke up with someone, they were a Gemini...and this was almost exactly how that panned out IP: Logged |
FoxyAries Knowflake Posts: 54 From: Bay Area, California Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 11, 2009 01:02 AM
And what sign are you, Deux? The Aries one seems a little off, we might think about our needs only, but in a contradictory way, when we are in a relationship we're very selfless and generous. At least I am! IP: Logged |
Lara Knowflake Posts: 1050 From: aspideronmars Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 11, 2009 04:31 AM
LOL! IP: Logged |
Deux*Antares Knowflake Posts: 200 From: No Permanent Address Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 11, 2009 06:36 AM
I liked the Pisces one, too. Foxy, I'm a Scorpio. What's funnier is I made a reference to Voodoo in one of the threads in LLC 2.
------------------ Be humble, but not weak. IP: Logged |
GypseeWind Knowflake Posts: 688 From: Dayton,Ohio USA Registered: May 2009
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posted July 11, 2009 04:07 PM
Wrong about the SAG one. When I found out my husband was leaving for a woman half his age, I took out his windsheild with an axe handle. Note: AND that was before the Carrie Underwood song!IP: Logged |
Antiquarianbookcollector Knowflake Posts: 47 From: Registered: Jun 2009
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posted July 11, 2009 04:14 PM
The Scorpio one sounds spot on.IP: Logged |
Herz_Aus_Stein Knowflake Posts: 8 From: Aries<3Capri Registered: May 2009
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posted July 11, 2009 04:59 PM
pisces is hilarious, no? still, i adore them. get along fabulously with them fishies!FoxyAries is spot on. that's me as well. 'they' always find it shocking to see my other side. alwaysalwaysalways. their loss then IP: Logged |
FoxyAries Knowflake Posts: 54 From: Bay Area, California Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 11, 2009 05:41 PM
But damn do I wish I could have a scorpio man!!!! It's hard to find one these days!IP: Logged |
Herz_Aus_Stein Knowflake Posts: 8 From: Aries<3Capri Registered: May 2009
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posted July 11, 2009 05:44 PM
i know of a good Scorp man who's very happy with his Rammette! IP: Logged |
Unmoved Knowflake Posts: 171 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted July 11, 2009 05:48 PM
Hehe... I tend to agree with mine (Virgo Sun & Venus). I don't know why, but I generally get all technical when things get serious. I remind myself of a doctor having to convey a bad diagnosis to a patient. E.g. "I'm just going to get to the point so as not to undermine your intelligence. I don't want to waste any of our time. You are here because we are breaking up." I then pause to see what kind of reaction I get. Then I commence with my lessons of life... "This is natural. People meet, connect and inevitably part. It is part of the natural cycle of life..." etc. etc. Maybe my Jupiter conj AC jumps in too. But, my Cancer Moon is usually nowhere in sight in these matters. IP: Logged |
Deux*Antares Knowflake Posts: 200 From: No Permanent Address Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 11, 2009 05:51 PM
Unmoved Soooo funny! Have you actually used those lines? And how did the guy react, what's his sign and did his reaction fit the description above? IP: Logged |
Unmoved Knowflake Posts: 171 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted July 11, 2009 06:00 PM
Duex, I have used those lines! Weird considering the fact that if somebody gave me that speech, I'd go nuts.He was Pisces Sun. I think he never heard a word I said because all I kept getting was, "Why are you breaking up with me?" over and over. And all I kept on saying was, "I just told you!" It was the longest, most frustrating break up ever because I was never sure whether he was aware that we were over. I was always scared that he thought we were together because when I told him we were over, he'd leave as expected. That's good, BUT... He'd return the next day via a phone call or in person, acting like nothing happened! I broke up with him about 5 times before he got it. I think that he was pretending not to know or something because his behaviur was just unreal. IP: Logged |
Deux*Antares Knowflake Posts: 200 From: No Permanent Address Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 11, 2009 06:27 PM
Unmoved Thanks for sharing.IP: Logged |