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Author Topic:   Sun Signs and Break-ups
Deux*Antares
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posted July 10, 2009 09:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Deux*Antares     Edit/Delete Message
Aries: Why you selfish, self-centered son-of-a-***** ! You always put your needs before mine! What about me? What about how I feel? Huh? That’s always been the problem with this relationship: everything is always about you!

Taurus: **arms folded across the chest and heels firmly dug in** I’m not going to sign the divorce papers. Ever. And, no, you may not have your car keys.

Gemini: Does that mean you are not coming to the book reading with me tonight? Okay, don’t worry, I’ll call Janie. And we’ll talk more about this next week when I’m back from my trip. Or you could call me while I’m on the road or text me or Facebook me. We’ll talk. Bye!

Cancer: **Cancer’s eyes mist up, and the guilt-ridden spouse breaks into a torrent of words** Say something! Don’t cry! Wait, where are you going? Honey, eating that pie is not a good idea. Remember you were going to stick to your diet? Okay, fine! I’ll stay.

Leo: You want to leave me? Why? What’s wrong with you? You took your medication, right?

Virgo: The current stats say that one out of every four marriages end in divorce. Can’t fight the numbers, I guess.

Libra: Leaving me? But I just redecorated your den! And booked us for that couples-only thing at the spa! Have you considered the pros and cons of your decision?

Scorpio: **the announcement is followed by deafening silence from the Scorpio who hasn’t moved a muscle and nervous chatter from the soon-to-be-an-ex** I knew you’d take it as calmly as you always do. I mean, you are mostly calm, except a few times when you went berserk and the neighbours had to call 911. So, I’ll just leave now, okay? And please don’t do that voodoo thing. And promise me you won’t sacrifice the dog on the next full moon as a cleansing ritual just because I got him for you?

Sagittarius: Jeez! Is this about the cute neighbour again? Yeah, she’s hot, but I was just giving her gardening tips. Honest!

Capricorn: What about our joint-accounts and those investments we are committed to? We’re up for the country club this year, this is not a good time for you to leave.

Aquarius: **looking up and sounding abstracted** I thought we were going to try and have twins so we could do research on twins? I think we can still go ahead with that. Let me check the ephemeris for your next fertile period. Shall we do it when the moon is in Gemini? That should up our chances of a multiple pregnancy. Where is the ephemeris? Hey, stop! Why are you tearing it?

Pisces: **in a far away voice** We’ll always have Paris. (They’ve never been to Paris together.)

http://astrologyexpressed.wordpress.com/sun-sign-humor/

------------------
Be humble, but not weak.

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glamgem25
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Posts: 43
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009

posted July 10, 2009 09:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for glamgem25     Edit/Delete Message
The libra one cracks me up!! Gemini is right on!

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MyVirgoMask
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posted July 10, 2009 09:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MyVirgoMask     Edit/Delete Message
Pisces: **in a far away voice** We’ll always have Paris. (They’ve never been to Paris together.)


AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
That's the best one

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braveheart
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From: sydney, nsw, oz
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posted July 10, 2009 10:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for braveheart     Edit/Delete Message

Taurus: **arms folded across the chest and heels firmly dug in** I’m not going to sign the divorce papers. Ever. And, no, you may not have your car keys.

TRUE: I cross my arms and mentally dig my heels in. And I have refused to give someone their property.

"smiling wryly"

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T
Knowflake

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posted July 10, 2009 11:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for T     Edit/Delete Message
Too funny. I liked the Pisces one too.

Though this Taurus would say: 'Dont let the door hit you on the way out' and toss his stuff out the window.

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Cynnared
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posted July 10, 2009 11:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Cynnared     Edit/Delete Message
hmmmmm I'm not sure about the Aries one! I'd kind of think relationship, what relationship? I want my freedom....with an ex, I put them on my proverbial catapult and shoot them away from my life and hope I never see him again..Cynn

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Lucia23
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posted July 10, 2009 11:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
Leo: You want to leave me? Why? What’s wrong with you? You took your medication, right?

Haaaa!! So true!!

EDITED: By the way, no one has ever broken up with me.

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Redstar
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From: Australia
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 11, 2009 12:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Redstar     Edit/Delete Message
Last time I broke up with someone, they were a Gemini...and this was almost exactly how that panned out

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FoxyAries
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From: Bay Area, California
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 11, 2009 01:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for FoxyAries     Edit/Delete Message
And what sign are you, Deux?

The Aries one seems a little off, we might think about our needs only, but in a contradictory way, when we are in a relationship we're very selfless and generous. At least I am!

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Lara
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From: aspideronmars
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posted July 11, 2009 04:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lara     Edit/Delete Message
LOL!

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Deux*Antares
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posted July 11, 2009 06:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Deux*Antares     Edit/Delete Message
I liked the Pisces one, too.

Foxy,
I'm a Scorpio. What's funnier is I made a reference to Voodoo in one of the threads in LLC 2.


------------------
Be humble, but not weak.

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GypseeWind
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Posts: 688
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted July 11, 2009 04:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message
Wrong about the SAG one.
When I found out my husband was leaving for a woman half his age, I took out his windsheild with an axe handle.
Note: AND that was before the Carrie Underwood song!

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Antiquarianbookcollector
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posted July 11, 2009 04:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Antiquarianbookcollector     Edit/Delete Message
The Scorpio one sounds spot on.

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Herz_Aus_Stein
Knowflake

Posts: 8
From: Aries<3Capri
Registered: May 2009

posted July 11, 2009 04:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Herz_Aus_Stein     Edit/Delete Message
pisces is hilarious, no? still, i adore them. get along fabulously with them fishies!

FoxyAries is spot on. that's me as well. 'they' always find it shocking to see my other side. alwaysalwaysalways. their loss then

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FoxyAries
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From: Bay Area, California
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posted July 11, 2009 05:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for FoxyAries     Edit/Delete Message
But damn do I wish I could have a scorpio man!!!! It's hard to find one these days!

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Herz_Aus_Stein
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From: Aries<3Capri
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posted July 11, 2009 05:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Herz_Aus_Stein     Edit/Delete Message
i know of a good Scorp man who's very happy with his Rammette!

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Unmoved
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posted July 11, 2009 05:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Unmoved     Edit/Delete Message
Hehe... I tend to agree with mine (Virgo Sun & Venus). I don't know why, but I generally get all technical when things get serious. I remind myself of a doctor having to convey a bad diagnosis to a patient.

E.g. "I'm just going to get to the point so as not to undermine your intelligence. I don't want to waste any of our time. You are here because we are breaking up."

I then pause to see what kind of reaction I get. Then I commence with my lessons of life...

"This is natural. People meet, connect and inevitably part. It is part of the natural cycle of life..." etc. etc.

Maybe my Jupiter conj AC jumps in too. But, my Cancer Moon is usually nowhere in sight in these matters.

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Deux*Antares
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posted July 11, 2009 05:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Deux*Antares     Edit/Delete Message
Unmoved

Soooo funny! Have you actually used those lines? And how did the guy react, what's his sign and did his reaction fit the description above?

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Unmoved
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posted July 11, 2009 06:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Unmoved     Edit/Delete Message
Duex, I have used those lines! Weird considering the fact that if somebody gave me that speech, I'd go nuts.

He was Pisces Sun.

I think he never heard a word I said because all I kept getting was, "Why are you breaking up with me?" over and over. And all I kept on saying was, "I just told you!"

It was the longest, most frustrating break up ever because I was never sure whether he was aware that we were over. I was always scared that he thought we were together because when I told him we were over, he'd leave as expected.

That's good, BUT...

He'd return the next day via a phone call or in person, acting like nothing happened!

I broke up with him about 5 times before he got it. I think that he was pretending not to know or something because his behaviur was just unreal.

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Deux*Antares
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posted July 11, 2009 06:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Deux*Antares     Edit/Delete Message
Unmoved Thanks for sharing.

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