posted November 07, 2011 12:05 PM            

So, I don't know if you all remember that Libra guy I would talk about, but I think he is seriously starting to like me back now. The problem is that he's black, and my entire family would disown me if I even so much as dated him, little less married him. His family members don't seem to have the best values, and though he is educated and has a good job, I don't think his friends are great. I also find him strongly unattractive at times, and I wouldn't want kids who look like him if they're gonna be so unattractive. So, basically, the idea of dating him would probably end in disaster and broken hearts, and if I did date him and stayed with him, I would feel unhappy.

posted November 07, 2011 02:10 PM            

I'm in an interracial, multi-national marriage myself, and it has been successful for almost two decades.

All four parents disowned us, and we disowned them as well. In the end, guess who were the suckers without access to their grandkids?

posted November 07, 2011 02:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Coffee:
I think:

3. This isn't really anything to do with astrology, apart from saying 'that LIBRA guy.'

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it does.. she's had a post already where if people were involved in it, know that they have pluto and moon(?) aspects and lots of other things.. it's just a little hard to follow up on posts in the same one without it turning into a 30 page post as is.

posted November 07, 2011 02:36 PM            

i don't know if there is a lot that you can change because some of your family's views have rubbed off on you and i think everyone has that with their family it's just that some have it to an extent.. your sun in Cancer would of course already point to it being a big thing for you and for you to feel a connection to your roots and your past..

the thing with the relationship between both of you guys is that it's just very light and nothing serious.. people who have eloped to be with the person they care about without the consent of their family, have been going the road for a long time so it's not like you're going to go off and run to marry the man, so you're ok..

cultural differences can make things a little complicated.. i'm not saying race, i mean culture.. as far as that goes, i think it would be worth noting what you guys have in common and whether you value the same things.

attraction wise, if it's physical that you find yourself attracted/not attracted to from time to time, that has to do with being prejudiced at some level and u can benefit from trying to understand where it comes from.. if whether it's from prior experiences or just what's been pushed onto you by your relatives.

i think it's a good thing that you can openly talk about it and be honest about it.

you can make personal progress but even if it isn't and will never be about their race, the fact that you feel uneasy about your attraction towards them already says lots..

it's very interesting to see how that pluto aspect between the both of you plays out.

crossing my fingers here hoping the thread doesn't get closed or turned into an argument because it can be helpful to probably someone else..

everyone experiences it.. i've met people from india that are expected to marry someone else from there with religion playing a big role.. israeli's the same.. family plays a big role and so does religion.

posted November 07, 2011 02:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tuxedoMask:
the race thing might be a touchy subject for some people as it has proven to be in some guy's thread about 'jungle fever'...

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OMG LMAO I REMEMBER THAT.

posted November 07, 2011 03:59 PM            

also, who cares? 21st century. you should do what makes you happy. people can't help what race they are, why let ignorance impose on your happiness? if you found happiness and love with someone race doesn't matter. do what makes you happy. I still can't understand how race is even an issue still.....

posted November 07, 2011 04:23 PM            

Yes, I have talked to close friends about this, but most of them are black and the one that isn't is pretty racist and holds all the same opinions as my family. My other close friend isn't black but filipino and her family is poor and ghetto and she feels offended that I don't want to date this guy because of all these things (yes including that his family is poor and ghetto and I would have to have them around my kids being a bad example, and maybe even asking us for money).

Honestly, the thing about finding him unattractive is totally a pluto thing because I have found other black guys very attractive, but when I forst saw him i thought "dayum he fugly." lol Not kidding. I did find him really sexually attractive before but now that i've gotten to know him that's died down and i think he's unattractive but still strangely alluring. The sexual attraction has mostly been replaced by an intense feeling of love where I literally cant stop thinking about him at all during the day and I feel like kissing him all over his face and being really lovey dovey with him.

If my family were the only problem, then i would defy them with no second thoughts. But it's just that i find him unattractive, and i do see where my family is coming from because his entire family is ghetto, and i wouldnt want to deal with them all my life. Also, our culture, the way we dance, and the kind of music we listen to is very different. The idea of being with him is completely out of the question and that is because I WANT it to be that way, not because of my family influence.

obviously I am not racist if most of my friends are black and i want to stay best friends with this guy, but i am not married to my friends.

posted November 07, 2011 04:31 PM            

it makes me a little irritated and I really do pity anyone that let's something like that be a determining factor of who they date/see.

the ops family might have a problem.. but who gives a flying f*** excuse my language. but i will never EVER let someone else tell me who I can and cannot see/date/spend my time with. if the op wants to please and satisfy her family at her own expense of happiness and potential self-fulfillment, go right ahead. but we are in the 21st century. way way long ago race wasn't even something to consider.... people married and dated whoever because we are people at the end of the day. we all have the same needs same wants... we are all biologically programmed the same (well most of us idk, psychopathy is another breed lol) but you get my point

im black and german, my boyfriend is white, my mother is racist, do you think that has ever stopped me from dating who I want? truth be told I enjoy ******* her off because I date/am attracted to all races... I've dated white guys, Asian, and brown, she fumes but I don't really care it's not her life it's mine. so op grow a pair and if this guy treats you right and you like him what's stopping you? your family? blood might be thicker than water but i don't consider these people "blood" if they refuse to acknowledge a simple concept called love lol!