posted November 20, 2014 02:17 PM            

Usually everything starts out fine, but then the man I'm friends with starts suddenly flirting with me out of the blue, catching me off guard with unwanted advances: touching my shoulder or arm, making comments about my body, etc. At this point I've only ever been kind, I'm a charming person but I've never made any sexual comments ['you're so hot/cute' etc.] to warrant this. AND this is after I've basically come out and said that I 'love our friendship' and 'value our connection as it is', etc. etc. in a really gentle way to show that I never want to date. It's like my comments spur them to do these things, it's insane.

I have no Venus-Pluto but my Venus is in Scorpio in the 11th house. Sometimes I wonder if it's from having Mars-Neptune along with Sun in Libra; the combo being enough to make people think my kindness is really flirtation, or that they can cross boundaries because they don't exist between us?

posted November 20, 2014 02:30 PM            

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Originally posted by Ann7:
Okay, so, the fact that you're a scorp will always add to your appeal but this might not be an astrology thing and may have more to do with being a male / female thing.

It's very common for men to make advances in regards to female friends, especially if she is pretty. Men are more primal than women. I realize it can be frustrating but it is workable.

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Well my username is misleading [haha]. I am a Sun in Libra but my progressed Sun is in Scorpio and I have Venus, Mercury, Jupiter and NN in Scorpio.

posted November 20, 2014 02:33 PM            

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Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
Well my username is misleading [haha]. I am a Sun in Libra but my progressed Sun is in Scorpio and I have Venus, Mercury, Jupiter and NN in Scorpio.

I see other women who have platonic male straight friends, like at my college. It always seems to be me who is getting these very inappropriate advances that blind side me. I'm not sure if it's workable in my case, since it makes me feel violated, like the trust has been broken. So I'm always reluctant to make friends with straight guys now for that reason and it sucks. I'm an Aquarian person in some regards as well so I feel like the gender/ biological male/female dynamic shouldn't be this big of an issue. It's so upsetting.

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posted November 20, 2014 02:34 PM            

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Originally posted by tgem:
This happens to me, I have venus trine Pluto almost exact, Mars sextile Pluto, venus sextile Mars, venus opposite Neptune, Venus conjunct and parallel progressed ASC and moon conjunct Aphrodite. It's tough..especially when you try to be kind and gently hint at wanting only the friendship but sometimes you have to be blunt..it sucks sometimes. ...oh and Eros and lust conjunct my sun and parallel my ASC.

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Oh, I forgot to mention I also have Mars trine Pluto, and my Mars is in the 8th. I can see how Venus-Neptune may cause this for you too. Sometimes I wonder if these harsh aspects to the 'sex' planets will not only create emotional issues in relationships but unwanted sexual advances, as in, unexpected relationships or flirtations; sneaky people who seem like friends or good people when they really want to get with you--they have other motives but we don't always see them because of Neptune's fog? I've been sexually harassed and assaulted before too, unfortunately.

I'm sure all the Eros connections and Moon-Aphrodite makes you seem like the ideal woman so maybe guys who excessively hit on you and don't get the point are just driven to because they see you as basically embodying the perfect woman to love and reproduce with. Since Aphrodite and Eros seem so organic and primitive in a way. I don't have those kinds of aspects as far as I know. Venus is conjunct Jupiter in my chart and actually now that I think about it, I read that this aspect may warrant a lot of attention from the opposite sex.

posted November 20, 2014 02:34 PM            

Poor things! If I yapp enough about all my rules and they disappear, then I did my job. Otherwise, I just act like a bro.

I really think that has a lot to do with Scorpio Venus in the 11th perhaps. If 11th is also the house of friendship, it's as if the strong and magnetic sexuality of Venus in Scorpio seems infused within your approach to platonic relationships. Or at least your friendships seems as though they're insinuating of or endowed with an inherent sexuality. IDK if that makes sense...

posted November 20, 2014 02:38 PM            

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Originally posted by PisceanDream:
I usually like to scare guys in the very beginning just to test the waters

Poor things! If I yapp enough about all my rules and they disappear, then I did my job. Otherwise, I just act like a bro.

I really think that has a lot to do with Scorpio Venus in the 11th perhaps. If 11th is also the house of friendship, it's as if the strong and magnetic sexuality of Venus in Scorpio seems infused within your approach to platonic relationships. Or at least your friendships seems as though they're insinuating of or endowed with an inherent sexuality. IDK if that makes sense...

It's so funny posting this and texting you at the same time

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We're multi-tasking! That's what Mercurial/Aquarian people do! LOL It's awesome, actually.

Haha, I can be that way too. I can come off as intimidating since I want to protect myself. It's kind of natural for me to be that way at first, before opening up. Like a defensive mechanism I've developed over the years. Except for some guys, the detachment makes them more intrigued. It's a sucky reverse psychology...

posted November 20, 2014 02:40 PM            

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Originally posted by tgem:
Yep, maybe...you have a point about the venus/neptune though....I've been sexually harassed ALOT over the years and I think the neptune fogs the boundary line when it's time to say, OK...you've gone too far!

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posted November 20, 2014 02:44 PM            

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Originally posted by Ann7:
Ah, I see... then I would be curious to know what placements cause this. I'm sorry you are experiencing this. I can see how you would get to a point where you think it's not worth the trouble (and be frustrated).

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posted November 20, 2014 03:24 PM            

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Originally posted by PisceanDream:
Hahaha! Glad you resonate with the reasoning, but sorry you have to go through it. We should K/O these suckers!!!!

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posted November 20, 2014 03:25 PM            

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Originally posted by Ann7:
I am a scorp sun / aqua - pisces cusp moon with venus in the first and sun in the 11th (I get wanting to have friends of both sex without their being issues). I deal with something similar but have had luck stopping it from getting out of hand. Possibly due to a lot of sag placements. I wonder if there are astroids that would help shed some light on what you are going through? Maybe lust, eros, psyche? I am new to the astroid thing so I may be way off.

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posted November 21, 2014 02:51 AM            

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Originally posted by CatMote:
as a male, maybe you should just say "hey, this is never going to happen. ever. stop it." instead of saying how much you value your friendship. we are dumb, we dont get the hint.

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I concur as a female. Being subtle doesn't work especially if you are at all a touch oriented person (greet people with hugs, touch them on the back or shoulders while talking, etc.). Kindness has become so rare that people confuse it with flirting. :/

posted November 21, 2014 03:01 AM            

I have no male-friends either for the same reason. Those I had, always ended up with a flirt. I think I sometimes flirt with people, even without really wanting it. I am just naturally flirting, maybe because I feel insecure, or that I really know that to get a guys attention, you have to flirt a little or at least have a blink in your eye.

And I also believe that behind ANY opposite-sex friendship there is a little tiny sexual attraction... cause I have seen very few friendships between people who think each other is extremely ugly.

posted November 21, 2014 08:18 AM            

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Originally posted by CatMote:
as a male, maybe you should just say "hey, this is never going to happen. ever. stop it." instead of saying how much you value your friendship. we are dumb, we dont get the hint.

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posted November 21, 2014 08:43 AM            

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Originally posted by tgem:
Thanks for the tip sometimes I find it hard to be so direct without hurting feelings but apparently I should be direct regardless to get the point through...

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yeah. youll have to be. we really are stupid lol. sorry you go through this a lot.

posted November 22, 2014 01:29 AM            

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Originally posted by CatMote:
as a male, maybe you should just say "hey, this is never going to happen. ever. stop it." instead of saying how much you value your friendship. we are dumb, we dont get the hint.

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Unfortunately I've done this too, and it hasn't helped in every scenario I can think of. I've come out and just said 'yep, we're just friends' and it didn't do anything. They wouldn't quit. Like they thought if they just kept wearing on me and wearing on me that I'd break down and give in.

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Originally posted by next to neptune:
I have a scorpio venus as well and in the 5th house, libra mercury.

I have no male-friends either for the same reason. Those I had, always ended up with a flirt. I think I sometimes flirt with people, even without really wanting it. I am just naturally flirting, maybe because I feel insecure, or that I really know that to get a guys attention, you have to flirt a little or at least have a blink in your eye.

And I also believe that behind ANY opposite-sex friendship there is a little tiny sexual attraction... cause I have seen very few friendships between people who think each other is extremely ugly.

So if this is just somehow true, then having a scorpio venus would probably be enough to ruin every friendship, cause we are not "friendly". Scorpio venus people are sexual, sensual and flirty, so just having this placement is very likely to destroy any opposite-sex friendship, because we simply dont know how to not be sexy looool

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Thanks for your input! I feel like a part of it is Libra, the other part Scorpio, particularly in Venus... and for me it's even worse since it's in the 11th house of friendships, I guess!

posted November 22, 2014 01:30 AM            

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Originally posted by Geeky:
I concur as a female. Being subtle doesn't work especially if you are at all a touch oriented person (greet people with hugs, touch them on the back or shoulders while talking, etc.). Kindness has become so rare that people confuse it with flirting. :/

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