posted October 27, 2016 09:05 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:
Well out there I'm sure that there are people who don't like me because I'm white or that I have a beard and look like a caveman. S**t happens.
I think the point was that no matter how determined you are (anyone) you will NEVER EVER change everyone's perception of you. It'll never happen.
So the more productive and less fruitless path to take is this approach. Because wanting to change perception is nearly impossible.
If someone is racist, being angry with them almost certainly reinforces that racism and I wish people could understand that.
If you love and are confident in yourself despite these things that you complain about then I think you'll be more likely to truly get what you're wanting.

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posted October 27, 2016 09:14 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:
Thanks for explaining my thoughts so well.
Seriously. I think the same way but was too lazy to type it out.

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posted October 27, 2016 09:16 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by headintheclouds91:

But do you experience that wherever you go though? Where you brought up learning and thinking that your skin color and your damn hair is not the way your supposed to look like?

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posted October 27, 2016 09:18 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:
Also, if you're on some level self conscious about it to where you're almost expecting these unfavorable responses then that's what you'll observe even if you're wrong. You always have to consider that you've misjudged someone else.

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not trying to be contradictory. my brother always said similar things. that what you feel from others is not necessarily the truth. i never really accepted this. i know its what scientists and mental health doctors always say. that what you believe is not necessarily a fact and that your mind is prone to error.

i find more and more that just because i guess i have some water that nothing is prone to error. our imagination is actually hard wired to existence.

***theres been various people who in the awakening of the earth (2009+) that they started having weird delusional thoughts. they thought whenever they scratched their leg it made someone else cough. another person thought whenever they started thinking a certain type of thought, that the other person they were with started getting really passionate and mad.

the mental health doctors convinced these people that they were delusional. both people seemed sketched out still as if it could have been true.

posted October 27, 2016 09:22 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by headintheclouds91:
It matters to me and thounsends of other black girls that experience s.h.i.t like this just for looking like their natural self. Somewhere out there is a young black girl that thinks its something "wrong" with her bc of her skin color and her non white hair and s.h.i.t like that needs to stop. White isn`t the only "acceptable" way of looking and people need to get that through their thick ass sculls.

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Well, that didn't land at all now did it?
Don't just pick out the last sentence, read the whole thing to get the gist of what I'm trying to say. I wasn't disagreeing that it's wrong. It goes for everyone who experiences prejudice.

What Dop said is true, you're not going to change perceptions and it's a waste trying. Once you understand why, it'll all make sense.

posted October 27, 2016 09:42 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:
Perhaps not for my skin. I was ridiculed on a daily basis at times, four years, because I was quiet and introverted. Because of my unusual features compared to others around here. (Nose and lips a lot because they are larger and yes, I never have forgotten) I was bullied for 2 years for being gay and I'm actually straight. This was in high school. Even in my 20's, a woman at work asked me if I'm gay because she thought I was. She didn't sound very nice about it either.
Much of this stuff has been for years. Not, "oh. 7th grade was tough because of some kid"
It was grade school to adult.
I may not be able to claim that I was subjected to racism but close to it.
Btw, using the "you've not experienced it so you don't know" is such a copout.

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posted October 27, 2016 09:44 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by headintheclouds91:
You don`t get it. And don`t act like i am not allowed to complain about it too. This is my thread that was made for black females that do get it.

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:Laughing:

posted October 27, 2016 09:47 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:
:Laughing:

I don't get it?
Well since you want to change everyone's perception, why give up on me?
Change it then.

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posted October 27, 2016 09:48 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Elysia:
Well, that didn't land at all now did it?
Don't just pick out the last sentence, read the whole thing to get the gist of what I'm trying to say. I wasn't disagreeing that it's wrong. It goes for everyone who experiences prejudice.

What Dop said is true, you're not going to change perceptions and it's a waste trying. Once you understand why, it'll all make sense.

What we're essentially saying is, don't let yourself get riled up by people's perceptions. Yes, they're being unfair - but why waste time on that? I get it, it's hard to deal with people thinking something's wrong with you for the silliest reasons. But hey, if you *know* it's a silly reason, doesn't that give you strength? Accept their non-acceptance and rise above it.

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posted October 27, 2016 09:50 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by soren:
its probably true that black people do recieve more negativity as a whole in society. but its also likely true they are more prejudice and thus absorb more love and have more of a "us" against "them" attitude.

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I agree.

posted October 27, 2016 10:00 AM            

someone being mean to someone just for their skin. chances are it's working on a much higher complex level.

actually though. maybe not. to me it depends on the people's intentions. are they just a mere reaction to their environment. or do they know they are being racist just because of someones skin. mainly because of how their "buddies" have talked about this skin colour. (that is obviously idiotic)

it happened to me once. i was with natives. they said "he's white" or something. then again, i was priviliged, not to me, but possibly to them, they all only hung out with other natives and lived on their own reserve. then again, there was also other native kids who were more rich and didnt go to that reserve from the town. they were just as *seperated* as i was

in the end. to me. its all just love. of course those silly rambunctious natives have got to make fun of us for being white. even our good native pals who were definitely not vicious teased. we live in a energy reality and for someone to just ignore that, would be living a lie. hell, look at all the little details we notice. we notice peopels shirts. we notice a big mole on someones face. we notice birds in the sky. we notice EVERY little thing. it's painfully obvious that someone is black. (and its not a bad thing, obviously)

its just the way of love! we have to comment on reality. its what we do! and NOT in a bad way though.

when i think back to those natives saying "im white".

posted October 27, 2016 10:02 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by headintheclouds91:
It is and always will be f.u.c.k.e.d up to me that we black folks just have to accept s.h.i.t that are thrown our way bc of our skin color and just the way we look. I will never accept s.h.i.t like that and will do anything i can to make a change. Sorry not sorry if it bothers people

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??????
"we black folks just have to accept s.h.i.t that are thrown our way bc of our skin color and just the way we look" ?
Where did you get that from?

That is nowhere near what I said either.

Fine, think what you want..

posted October 27, 2016 10:07 AM            

That is nowhere near what I said either.

Fine, think what you want..

posted October 27, 2016 10:09 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by headintheclouds91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Elysia:
[B] ??????
"we black folks just have to accept s.h.i.t that are thrown our way bc of our skin color and just the way we look" ?
Where did you get that from?

That is nowhere near what I said either.

Fine, think what you want..

You said accept their non-acceptance which i won`t do. The black stuff was me nothing you said but it has been a lot we have had to accept bc "that is just the way things are" s.h.i.t and i am sick of it.

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ARE YOU GOING TO CHANGE IT OR ONLY COMPLAIN ABOUT IT?!?

posted October 27, 2016 10:28 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:
ARE YOU GOING TO CHANGE IT OR ONLY COMPLAIN ABOUT IT?!?

You called out other black women so I'm guessing you're all talk and only want to complain.

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posted October 27, 2016 11:01 AM            

Black people are still coming out from centuries of discrimination and I do think that needs a different kind of respect for their ongoing plight and all the ways it plays out.

Afro discrimination would annoy the hell out of me and make me feel defiant, too. Well in some ways it's similar to how I as a woman have felt pressure to not be a woman but be more like a man, and have been ridiculed for being a stay at home mother time and again, in a society where people interpret that as weak and stupid.

In all cases of discrimination the solution is as Elysia and Dop were saying. But there is also the healing felt in just commiserating with others about the suffering they collectively face. To me it's all about timing. There's a time to look at the problems we share, a time to look at the solution.

posted October 27, 2016 11:08 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by headintheclouds91:

I am making a change and will continue to make a change but i am also allowed to complain about injustice if i want to too. And weren`t you supposed to be right behind Elysia and walk out? If its not too hard for you can you stay away from my threads in the future and now? I feel you only want to fight sweetie and you also seem still very bitter about when i was being (in your view) a little b.i. t.c.h towards you. I hope you get over it soon though. Been months now.

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I can come and go at will so long as I am a member. I will not follow your request. This isn't Burger King where you get it your way. So I'll see you again. If you don't like it, don't make threads.

posted October 27, 2016 11:15 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Not my business to interfere but I like you all and don't like seeing fallouts. You folks seem to be actually agreeing with each other, at least on the main topic, but not seeing it.

Black people are still coming out from centuries of discrimination and I do think that needs a different kind of respect for their ongoing plight and all the ways it plays out.

Afro discrimination would annoy the hell out of me and make me feel defiant, too. Well in some ways it's similar to how I as a woman have felt pressure to not be a woman but be more like a man, and have been ridiculed for being a stay at home mother time and again, in a society where people interpret that as weak and stupid.

In all cases of discrimination the solution is as Elysia and Dop were saying. But there is also the healing felt in just commiserating with others about the suffering they collectively face. To me it's all about timing. There's a time to look at the problems we share, a time to look at the solution.

On this thread the timing got mixed up, that's all. No harm intended on either side, I don't think....but sorry if I make anything worse by offering this opinion.

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posted October 27, 2016 11:24 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:
I can come and go at will so long as I am a member. I will not follow your request. This isn't Burger King where you get it your way. So I'll see you again. If you don't like it, don't make threads.

As to the other stuff. It sounds like you're wishing that were true?
I've never mentioned it except for immediatel immediately after. Take a look. It's you who keeps referring back and can't let go.
Which, actually, this supports my earlier argument that w eat you want to believe or expect to believe is what you will believe.
But it's not indicative of the truth.
So please, get a grip and come down to earth.

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posted October 27, 2016 11:24 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Not my business to interfere but I like you all and don't like seeing fallouts. You folks seem to be actually agreeing with each other, at least on the main topic, but not seeing it.

Black people are still coming out from centuries of discrimination and I do think that needs a different kind of respect for their ongoing plight and all the ways it plays out.

Afro discrimination would annoy the hell out of me and make me feel defiant, too. Well in some ways it's similar to how I as a woman have felt pressure to not be a woman but be more like a man, and have been ridiculed for being a stay at home mother time and again, in a society where people interpret that as weak and stupid.

In all cases of discrimination the solution is as Elysia and Dop were saying. But there is also the healing felt in just commiserating with others about the suffering they collectively face. To me it's all about timing. There's a time to look at the problems we share, a time to look at the solution.

On this thread the timing got mixed up, that's all. No harm intended on either side, I don't think....but sorry if I make anything worse by offering this opinion.

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I agree.
Good note to end my presence in the thread as I think you nailed it. (Which maybe I hadn't noticed because it wasn't delivered in a certain way but you accomplished that)

posted October 27, 2016 11:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by headintheclouds91:

Okey baby keep finding excuses to get into my threads. And i genuinely hope you get over the hurt feelings i brought upon you some day. Peace out

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If my feelings are hurt. Why are you dwelling on things of the past, which were insignificant and I have yet to mention it without your first having done so?

I'm saying this, and then I'm genuinely leaving the thread.

posted October 27, 2016 11:59 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:
If my feelings are hurt. Why are you dwelling on things of the past, which were insignificant and I have yet to mention it without your first having done so?

I'm saying this, and then I'm genuinely leaving the thread.

[b]Let it go[/B]

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posted October 27, 2016 12:13 PM            

So tell me. What were all of the pictures for?
It was clear from day one. Who wanted me on their Facebook? Hint: the conversation is on this site.

Who wanted to chat?

Who admitted a crush?

Who admitted trying to lure me into their threads?

All you.

And after all that when you became very strange. I took you off.

posted October 27, 2016 12:34 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DopGang:
You want to air it all out here?
We can.
I have nothing to hide.

So tell me. What were all of the pictures for?
It was clear from day one. Who wanted me on their Facebook? Hint: the conversation is on this site.

Who wanted to chat?

Who admitted a crush?

Who admitted trying to lure me into their threads?

All you.

And after all that when you became very strange. I took you off.

Now tell me what that looks like.

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Who told me they were so excited to have me on their Facebook?

Who was it that got so happy about me showing him attention?

Who was it that immediately got a snapchat the sec i asked for it?

Who was it that took screenshots of several of my pics?

Who was it that loved that i was showering him with compliments ?

Who was it that got hurt the sec i didn`t give him attention?

And who has been bitter ever since?