posted February 26, 2017 02:29 PM            

(I'm kind of sick of it tbh...I think my anxiety episode in October started because the academic year started and I didn't want to go back to that routine and those responsibilities. I have no idea how I'm gonna do my thesis and graduate when I have no passion for it anymore)

posted February 26, 2017 08:22 PM            

i had a feeling i should have said 1, but i thought it was 2, but now that i remember it was only 1.

Gives me more status

posted February 26, 2017 08:28 PM            

it hasnt stopped to this day.

but the time i first got "SO MESSED UP" in life (i was really really strong minded, regular) was after first trying weed. I stepped back from my mind and viewed my consciousness, i did it that i thought i was like a program.

posted February 26, 2017 08:32 PM            

shrooms permanently effect your brain for life.

open up parts that will be used, and continue to be used, seeing the "love and joy" it takes away borders and makes you feel connected to others.

dont think it's natural. you wont integrate with all of society cause most dont use their brain like that.

posted February 26, 2017 08:36 PM            

science gives a lot of distorted perspectives.

such as you can feel all of existence. you feel it's all amazing. science tries to box it and make it seem definintive, it tries to make all of existence non-infinite, as we would first expect, and starts to say that it is finite, cause-and reaction (no meaning), and other negative things.

so i wouldnt rely on the scientific definition.

you got to (what you already do im sure) look back to the shamans who tried this psychadelic. i dont even like the word psychadelic because its overly saying it's just to make your brain go through strange experiences.

it's too scientific to me.

the shamans just said it was a special food that makes you experience amazing things. For some reason, many of them didnt feel they regretted it, many of them saw it as an essential learning in life.

so discard the science. (saying that partly to myself, not necessaryily to you)

posted February 26, 2017 08:41 PM            

feel with your heart what all of existence is.

all of this thing we are going through, feel what it is with your heart.

the heart is metaphysical connections to all of existence. i know this. go to divine diversities forum.

what your heart feels is the truth.

posted February 27, 2017 12:11 PM            

DO. NOT. QUIT. SCHOOL.

You have poured money and efforts. Do NOT give up now. FINISH. You did the hardest part. Even if you say now you have no passion for it? FINISH. FINISH YOUR DEGREE.

Story-----
I came within 12 credits of graduating university with two separate BA's and an AA. The two degrees were not being 'coordinated' (which problem the university fixed for any other student in the future). I missed taking two little intro-type courses, had planned to challenge statistics exam after using a tutor (chi-squares! ~oy), and had ONE more music course to take because of a mistake when I added a major in my sophomore year.

I was ready to finish with one more semester.... But because of a domestic violence issue, I HAD to be helped to run away, into a different geog state. When I did that, I failed to finish what would have been only ONE semester more.

There had been another department at the same university that offered me a teaching fellowship, that would have earned my MA and Doctoral degree. I already had 21 credits into a separate other Masters.... later. But those credits didn't count BECAUSE I didn't have my Undergraduate finished. It was a ~weird set of circumstances that (like I said) the university 'fixed' after-the-fact.

ALL OF IT, gone..... BECAUSE I never 'finished' just ONE of the degrees. The one in music only had ONE more course. That completely fell apart, because each course built on the other... and when you don't keep up your Art, you LOSE sooooo much. After a handful of years, I looked into possibly going back? and I would have lost two years worth of credits.

The music degree would have been impossible at that point, as I said, because I couldn't keep up with my skills in that craft, because of circumstances/situations in my life.

Take my warning like Jacob Marley visiting 'Scrooge'.... FINISH THAT DEGREE, no matter 'what'.

That degree will make A HUGE DIFFERENCE in your salary. .... For example, I had published and article on one of the papers I did as an independent study while I was in college. This led to my being invited to write another article. IN that (research) issue, I was paid $400 for writing it. A peer of mine got $800 for hers BECAUSE she had a degree. (My article was better ~~ of course! LMAO!!!) (This was in the 1970s, btw.)

My NOT finishing the degree meant a difference of 400 dollars for the SAME AMOUNT OF WORK that 800 dollars would have been.

Simply from an economic viewpoint, you NEED that sheepskin, that Document. Some places don't even CARE 'where' or 'WHAT' kind of degree you came out with, AS LONG AS it was a completed-degree.

EVEN IF you are not *** laude, GET the degree. You are TOO CLOSE to that finish line. Think Money! You already put IN the effort... Now finish so you can have the Reward... especially since Saturn is your friend, and Saturn is STILL RISING UP in your chart. By the time it reaches your 9th, then your MC, You will be SOOOOO GLAD you did. Pay off time?!!!! LOL

And! DON'T EVEN LOOK at the astrology IF that is going to stop you going for anything. Use your COMMON SENSE! LOL. You'll really really be glad you did, seriously, with love.

Sometimes astrology helps? and sometimes it can unnecessarily hinder your progress. You and GOD be 'in control' of your Life. There are other things always in play...

Now, using your own personal wisdom, you decide whether or not to do this next thing I say?....

IF (for right now...) you are having a problem getting in touch with your 'passion' (muse)?, there are some ways to prime that pump again. You're going to have to throw yourself, all your fake-focus INTO it, okay? Do it, do it, do it.

IF you think the person will help you do it, have a heart to heart with your degree-advisor. Let them know what's going on with you. That you NEED to finish your degree, and you kinda feel like you're running out of the steam you had? This person, if they are ON your side, SHOULD help you pick-up your track again. .... But if you think the advisor would think negatively, then go outside that system, and FIND a CHEERLEADER for yourself. (I'd be 'the example' of one of those for you!!! LOL)

FIND someone to be your CHEERLEADER.

And.... I apologize for all the caps today!!!
I feel like I'm having to yell above my environment issues.

I've got to go right now. Won't even proof this.

I have a volunteer job I go to on Tuesdays, so I probably won't spend time here tomorrow either.

But .... YOU be Blessed. YOU Finish That Degree--- or I'll come CHASE YOU DOWN, running after you with a BIG stick!!!!! You hear me??????? Don't be a dummy.

FINISH your Degree you MIGHTY Powerful Woman!!!!
(And if you're male, THAT TOO!)

posted February 27, 2017 01:36 PM            

Obviously I'm gonna finish, it's just gonna be a drag and I'm pitying myself. I'm allowed to do that at least! Thanks for the pep talk, anyway.

posted February 27, 2017 04:21 PM            

I believe in the therapeutic power of a dyin' duck fit, from time to time. Sometimes you need to go way down into it, to find 'what it is' that is truly bothering, then come up for air.

Any time you need a PEP talk? I'm the one! And I kick ***** too, when needed!!! Thing is with me, you'll get comforted before and after your butt be whooped!

(Don't tell a gemmy sun and gemmy mercury, with a virgo moon sextile a H8 Cancer Stellium, with inspirational Sag ascendant that you're thinking of quitting your education. --- NO WAY!!! LMAO}

(music) It's My Party (Lesley Gore, lyrics) [2:14] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIsnIt1p978