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Author Topic:   Letting your parents influence your life too much
kani
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Registered: Oct 2018

posted March 06, 2019 01:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for kani     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi folks,

one of my cousins (and her brother, but I don't know his birthtime, so I'm just gonna put her chart up) has been under a strong influence of their parents. She studied what they wanted, she got married because they pushed her to and so on. I feel they are having too much of an impact on her and didn't let her evolve in her own way. Especially them forcing her to get married (and they are not from a terribly religious country or anything) was something that always baffled me; also that she gave in to their pressure. She once said to me that kids should be pleasing their parents, even if it goes against their own wishes from time to time and I disagree. If it makes me unhappy, I won't do it, just to get my parents off my case.
I wonder if the strong influence of her parents can be seen in her chart and also why she allows them to influence her so much.
The birth time is quite accurate

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Aries23Degrees
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Posts: 6948
From: South Africa
Registered: Dec 2012

posted March 06, 2019 03:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Venus square Moon- eager to please others even at own expense.

Venus represents social acceptance whilst Moon is inner acceptance. The square often suggests that the native sees one as being "sacrificed" for the other.

Others see their happiness woven into the happiness of others.Whilst the rest also feel like in order for them to be happy, they have to go "against" others.So there is rebellion to socially "confirm".

Venus is exalted in Pisces. Pisces experiences personal happiness through serving others. But often they mistake this for having to be "martyrs". So often for them, one is the same as the other.

Venus is in "expected to please others" 7th house.
Whils Mars squaring the Moon in 4th suggests the native does fear physical/psychological pain from disobeying parents.

Mars is the projected will of the parents i.e socialization. So even when in 7th, there is fear of physical violence and intimidation.At worst, social ostracization including the loss of love of parents if one opposes their(parents) will.

Mars in 7th however does suggest that the native will eventually have to learn to stand on their own two feet and make own decisions. Even if these decisions "displease" the parents.

Mars in 7th always means "expected to be lead".And this may mean a psychological "breaking away" from family ties due to their domineering influence(Mars square 4th).

The native may experience more personal assertion and freedom through moving out of home,living far from home or marrying an individual who will not allow the relative family to have a large stake in their spouse's life.

I have Mars (Dsc) square Moon(Ic) so I can identify.With me,I distanced myself from home because I felt like their "expectations" controlled me too much. So I couldn't wait to go.

This person however has Virgo rising and is likely going to be hard to convince that they need to establish self independence.

I find Virgo Asc very difficult to convince of anything when their intellectual walls are high up. They will have to come to this realization themselves through introspection.

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kani
Knowflake

Posts: 450
From:
Registered: Oct 2018

posted March 06, 2019 04:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for kani     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
thank you so much Aries, I always appreciate your answers. yes she seemed to be scared to displease her parents. Not because she feared physical violence but she was always pressured into "fitting in" with society and they really did put her under a lot of strain with belittling her when she wasn't married yet, that she would remain a spinster blah blah. That is quite an important theme in her family and also their obsession with what others do and how much they own. She got married to a guy noone believed she really loved but she herself felt under pressure to get married and so they did that shortly after they met. I think she mostly did it to get her parents off her case and move to a different city. As in her country many people can't afford or just don't move out of their parent's house unless they get married. She also fell pregnant even though he didn't want kids.
I should have reduced the orbs I guess or would you still count a 10 degree square between Moon and Venus?

one more thing: She was raised to serve her brother (which she resents her parents for big time- she also told them) and she is aware thst this is where her need for male approval comes from which was extreme in her younger years.
She kinda seems stuck mentally which is a shame because we used to be quite close and she isn't stupid but she seems so flat and shallow now.

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aamhz
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Registered: Dec 2018

posted March 06, 2019 05:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aamhz     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Haven't read full OP or replies yet, but wanted to add:

SN ("comfort zone", "safety net") 7H (Others) has a problem with letting others define them (they fear independence so they're uber agreeable). 4H is "Family", so instead of All Others, perhaps it's "letting Family define them". From a quick glance, I saw she has Moon/Neptune which can weaken self-assertiveness, rather 'going with the flow'. Both planets being in 4H compounds her family following - Moon not just makes one uber sensitive to her Family but it also is where she is most emotionally invested/'open' so Family's happiness is paramount; Neptune shows where/whom we 'give the benefit of the doubt' to, so perhaps Neptune 4H + Moon/Neptune = double whammy of blind, surrendering trust/faith in Family.

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kani
Knowflake

Posts: 450
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Registered: Oct 2018

posted March 07, 2019 02:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for kani     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aamhz:
Haven't read full OP or replies yet, but wanted to add:

SN ("comfort zone", "safety net") 7H (Others) has a problem with letting others define them (they fear independence so they're uber agreeable). 4H is "Family", so instead of All Others, perhaps it's "letting Family define them". From a quick glance, I saw she has Moon/Neptune which can weaken self-assertiveness, rather 'going with the flow'. Both planets being in 4H compounds her family following - Moon not just makes one uber sensitive to her Family but it also is where she is most emotionally invested/'open' so Family's happiness is paramount; Neptune shows where/whom we 'give the benefit of the doubt' to, so perhaps Neptune 4H + Moon/Neptune = double whammy of blind, surrendering trust/faith in Family.


Yes she let others define them. For a very long time in her life she thrived on being the "seductress". I feel there is much more to her than looks and her status as a wife and mother. She also judges other women for not wanting kids or not being married which I think is a bit ridiculous

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