Author
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Topic: Bad Boys!
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Randall Webmaster Posts: 18296 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 11, 2010 02:30 AM
What is is that makes girls attracted to bad boys? And what is a bad boy exactly? What are the traits? Do nice guys really finish last?IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 32172 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 11, 2010 04:10 AM
These questions are so good, Randall. You have to have 8th house planets. I have a little running tab of your chart in my mind. Can I guess things along the way? Only if it is OK with you. if not, tell me now, and I won't ask any more. IF it IS OK, I guess that you have a at least two personal planets in the 8th house ------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 32172 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 11, 2010 07:44 AM
This answer will take a while cuz it is a complicated question even though it may seem easy. I think you have to separate the guys we, as woman, marry from the guys who sweep a whole room of woman of their feet with a glance Your question is about the latter lol ------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 32172 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 11, 2010 07:48 AM
I have known fewer than 5 bad boys in my life.They are quite rare ,IME One I met while I was in college. He had just graduated from Vassar and had managed to sleep with almost every girl at Vassar lol I think about this and wonder about HOW he was able to charm the many personalities of that any woman, many of whom were strong, independent woman lol I have,actually, thought about this a lot ,Randall. What did he have? ------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 32172 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 11, 2010 08:20 AM
I think the essence of a Bad boy is Mars in Scorpio. They have to understand how woman tick. They have to know that woman say one thing but want another lol ------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
sharon_1977 Knowflake Posts: 28 From: Nothern ireland Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 11, 2010 09:11 AM
Hi EveryoneI have always wanted to know this question also because I've seen so many nice guys get left by their girlfriends for a bad guy and visa versa. The girls and guys seemed to crave their bad guy or girls attention and not notice the good people right in front of them. Well the saying goes "seek and you shall find" and I did find (well in my opinion) the answer in a body language book and thought WOW this all makes sence. Here it is pasted as was in the book. Here goes A WOMANS VIEW ON "NICE" This letter is by 22 year old hillary heinz, eugene, oregon, in response to an advice columnist asking why women put up with abysmal treatment from boyfriends.
Although I swore I would never put myself through the turture i saw several friends go trough, I broke up with several wonderful (nice) guys to obsess over an unattainable jerk. Then I clung to a guy who was nicer to strangers at the bus stop than he ever was to me. When i finally found the incredible guy I'm with now, I was sure it wouldn't last, because he was "too nice to be interesting" fortunately, I was so exhausted from years of trying to make the wrong guys love me, I relaxed and gave him a chance to show me how remarkably intelligent, likable and lovable he is, how much fun we could have together-and how nice it was to be happy for days, weeks, months on end. and then the real reason for the "nice guy" problem accurred to me: I actually caught my-self thinking, "he's nice to me, but he's nice to everybody! how will I ever know he loves me?" Then I realized that young women don't want to be treated like dirt. They want to be treated nicely by guys who aren't nice- guys whose only reason to be nice would be that they were compelled to change by their love for that special girl, thus providing her with coveted proof of her lovability. take a look at nearly every trash novel. The hero is a heartless rake or a villain who only because of his overwhelming love for the heroine changes his ways. It's a popular fictional approach to relationships, but it never works in reality, because the guy never changes!" this was from the book body language What do you all think? Sharon_1977 IP: Logged |
LEXX Knowflake Posts: 9742 From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion! Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 11, 2010 09:51 AM
quote: What is is that makes girls attracted to bad boys? And what is a bad boy exactly? What are the traits?
I think it all depends on the definition of what is a bad boy. There is the hot but honest bad boy, who simply loves to play the fields, but would never hurt or abuse his multiple and frequent lovers, sex encounters. The unattainable elusive Don Juan, Cassanova, or happy go lucky playboy type. Then there is the self centered jerk who is a controlling often jealous abuse kind. Oh for sure, he is often quite passionate sexually, and I have seen too many women, confuse the jealousy and controlling with loving them, cherishing them. A few women I have counselled have said in essence: quote: I know he really loves me and cannot help that he gets jealous easily, and beats or abuses me, because loves me so much he cannot stand the idea of losing me to another man"
So which bad boy(s) do women go for? It depends on the type of bad boy, and the levels of or lack of codependency of both the men, and women. quote: Do nice guys really finish last?
Sadly too often yes. Women often say they want sweet and gentle, loving and caring. But too many want macho man, physically strong, or at least not fem, who is lavish with public displays of affection...like see, I have her, she's mine! Such displays when ott are not about love but control. Sadly yes, many women I have known/know overlook the lovely "Clark Kents" out there who in private can be seething with passion! ------------------ Everyone is a teacher... Everyone is a student... Learning is eternal...LEXX ~Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. ~Carl Sagan }><}}(*>♥<*){{><{ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
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Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 32172 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 11, 2010 10:09 AM
The bad boys have to have a basic "caring" nature or he would not even be interesting.------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared Knowflake Posts: 4500 From: Mars Registered: Aug 2010
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posted November 11, 2010 10:27 AM
I think the "bad boys" have become more popular because women don't have great relationships with their fathers. Bad boys represent the mysterious and wild male energy that women want to be reconclied with, but are also threatened by, at the same time.Further, I think symbolically, bad boys represent woman's seperation from her father's love, and so in a sense, a woman wants subconsciously to "attain" the bad boy... make him love her. It's also funny that the woman almost NEVER stays with the bad boy. She'll eventually learn come 5 - 20 years that he isn't equipped to give her the support, respect and love that a healthier type of guy would, so she leaves him. Sadly, this leaves the woman no closer to getting what she want emotionally. The key is probably fixing what's wrong inside, then really finding someone that is a true and healthier match, someone who has long-term potential in a relationship. IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared Knowflake Posts: 4500 From: Mars Registered: Aug 2010
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posted November 11, 2010 10:31 AM
So, no... I'd say the nice guys finish FIRST in the sense that they don't play a character to someone elses psychological production.The bad boys don't usually win, either. I've seen more than enough burned-out "wash up" bad boys in my 28 years, than I ever cared to. Not great fathers, tend to end up bitter and angry - and as they age, it gets less and less "cute". IP: Logged |
NickiG Moderator Posts: 5583 From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann Registered: Jul 2010
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posted November 11, 2010 10:50 AM
i say the bad boy persona is attractive to women who want adventure and excitement but when women are ready to settle down they look for the nice guy------------------ the better the chase, the better the reward IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 32172 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 11, 2010 10:59 AM
IF the bad boy does NOT become loyal to you as Warren Beatty did ,for example to Annette Benning, you do leave him. I agree.
------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 32172 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 11, 2010 01:55 PM
I think the KEY factor in making the bad boy able to conquer woman like a bowling ball knocking down pins is cuz they can SEE the woman. Everyone yearns to be seen/known. We have parts of ourselves, particularly sexually, where we feel ashamed. If a person can see us(or we think he can) we yield to him.That is one of the big factors that makes bad boys attractive, I think. There are others ,too. I want to think about them ------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
GypseeWind Knowflake Posts: 5706 From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street.. Registered: May 2009
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posted November 11, 2010 02:25 PM
The allure of the bad boy is the thinking that you will be the woman to tame him. Therefore there is something 'special' about you. So it's sort of an ego thing.The reality of that is, these women probably wouldn't want him anymore if they did change him, cause the original allure is gone. I love bad boys, but I let them stay bad.
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Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 32172 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 11, 2010 05:48 PM
You got a point, Gypsee, BUT if you are gonna get serious with one ,you want him to be loyal and true . If not, he would not be "bad" but just a terrible problem ------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 32172 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 11, 2010 06:27 PM
I think a huge trait for bad boys is that they can blow off rejection. They may be hurt but they don't let it get under their skin too much. After enough rejection,it doesn't sting that much,supposedly cuz *I* haven't been there lol They have confidence in their ability to charm woman. They either come by it naturally or perfect it as a skill,over time At any rate, they do not let any single woman/women stop their over all confidence in themselves as lovers and appreciators of woman. I guess you could say that when they get rejected, they bounce back up and try again lol ------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 32172 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 11, 2010 06:30 PM
I think confidence is a huge attraction for woman. I guess it is for men, too. I don't know. What do any men reading this think?------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
NickiG Moderator Posts: 5583 From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann Registered: Jul 2010
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posted November 11, 2010 06:31 PM
they either dont get hurt or they dont let it show that they'v been hurt....that cool collective is appealing and they know it------------------ the better the chase, the better the reward IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 32172 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 11, 2010 07:11 PM
Yes,the cool ,collected appeal is a charmer i have a question. Do the MEN like the cool, collected woman??? ------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend.IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 18296 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 11, 2010 07:44 PM
I learned long ago that girls say one thing and mean another. They don't do it on purpose. They just don't know what they want. They truly believe that they want a nice guy. But when they find one, they just feel no gut-level attraction. Bad boys are exciting. Because they are self-centered, they are never clingy or wussy (two big turn-offs). They have their own lives. They command respect. They will walk away at the first sign of disrespect. This exudes extreme independence and confidence...and this is like crack to a woman. Bad boys are fun to be around. The woman will even pay for the date just to be around a bad boy who creates strong attraction. They are spontaneous, unpredictable loose cannons that are unrestricted in their speech and actions. The woman knows almost instantly that this guy is dangerous. How so? She knows she is in danger of having sex with him. That creates a powerful seductive vibe. No nice guy can compete with that. I'm a nice guy...but I keep him in hiding. I have the confidence (and other above traits), but I mix it up with cockiness and a good sense of humor. I don't cheat (never have and never will), and I'm not verbally or physically abusive. I'm a bad boy in the bedroom and a confident strong assertive man outside the bedroom--but I'm a sweetheart and a teddy bear for my girl only to see. Every girl wants to feel safe and protected, and if a guy is TOO nice, he's just a wuss. When I'm in a room, the Alpha wannabes sense that they better not mess with me. Or my girl. Nice guys need to learn more about the bad boy psyche, or else the girls they meet will never get past the surface to see what a real man is. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel Knowflake Posts: 4313 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 12, 2010 02:37 AM
I think when you cut through all the crap, what's appealing about the bad boys is the sense of security of knowning that they're going to defend and protect you and do what needs to be done if the need arises. The good boys just may not be able to meet the need or may be a bit more diplomatic about it.Fantasy has a lot to do with it. I mean, the bad boys are nice in film, etc, but you really want one with a heart of gold at the end of the day. I don't think serial killers genuinely appeal to most people. There's a line that crosses the romance. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel Knowflake Posts: 4313 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 12, 2010 02:40 AM
quote: Nice guys need to learn more about the bad boy psyche, or else the girls they meet will never get past the surface to see what a real man is.
It's the women who make them who they are. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 32172 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 12, 2010 07:46 AM
You are right, Peace Angel. When it is all said and done, the glitz and glamor subsides, the newness goes away, you are in your old undershirt, not shiny loungerie, you want a man with whom you can rest your head on his chest.------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged |
LEXX Knowflake Posts: 9742 From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion! Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 12, 2010 08:06 AM
"Bad Boys" Diamonds in the rough are yes, still valuable diamonds. Yet more fragile than they appear. Some can indeed be cut and polished to become true gemstones. However only the most skilled can do this for such a gem, and near infinite patience required, and the firm realization, that even then, it may not be possible. Others will shatter instead, or resist being honed, their potential for being shaped are low, they simply do not posses the right angles for intricate faceting. Yes they are still diamonds. And can be big bright and flashing dashing gems, even if lacking in intricate sparkle. What you see, is what you get, do not try or expect honing or taming of this basic wild gem. Love one such a gem if you desire, but remember, you must simply accept this gem as it is."Good Boys" However there are the self faceted jewels, who have honed themselves away from being raw gems. It is these whom I prefer being willingly given the keys to their boxes; the (icy seeming to most)highly faceted diamond, hard yet fragile. Or the deep ocean Pearl, that once released from the shell it grew in, must be kept at times, softly wrapped and gently polished betwixt admiring its iridescent, nacreous, opalescent beauty. Or the mysteriously deeply complex watery Emerald, with the power to evoke Atlantean dreams of ancient seas deep and dark, which must not allow itself to become too dry or it can lose its lustre until immersed in water again. All hidden away; each, within their own heart shaped boxes waiting for someone with the right keys to look within and witness and truly understand and appreciate their intricate beauty. ------------------ Everyone is a teacher... Everyone is a student... Learning is eternal...LEXX ~Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. ~Carl Sagan }><}}(*>♥<*){{><{ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
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LEXX Knowflake Posts: 9742 From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion! Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 12, 2010 08:41 AM
Ami Anne quote: When it is all said and done, the glitz and glamor subsides, the newness goes away, you are in your old undershirt, not shiny loungerie, you want a man with whom you can rest your head on his chest.
Yes indeed!
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