Prenups--Would You Sign One?

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Author	Topic: Prenups--Would You Sign One?
Randall Webmaster Posts: 22150 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 22, 2010 10:49 AM Okay, so a guy and a girl are madly in love, and the guy has worked hard to attain a measure of wealth. Even though they are both in love now, the future is uncertain. The stats are that over half won't last. In light of that alarmingly high failure rate, combined with the laws being in favor of the female, would it not make sense for the man to have a prenup? Ladies generally say that's not romantic...or that it's setting them up for failure. But divorces are nasty; people don't think clearly, and tempers flare--with the children being a casualty of war. Wouldn't it make sense now, while both are in love, to decide the terms for a split should it ever occur? Expect the best, but prepare for the worst. Marriage is a contract. And like any other contract, it should be detailed in writing what happens when there is a breach. Opinions? ------------------ "A heart of gold cannot be borrowed, bought, or sold." IP: Logged
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 37417 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010	posted November 22, 2010 10:54 AM If I were in a second marriage, I would want to make sure that my children from the first marriage were protected. In that case, I would give one or sign one ,for sure. However, if there were no children involved, I am not sure what I would do. That is a good question that I will have to think on ------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged
PlutoSquared Knowflake Posts: 4500 From: Mars Registered: Aug 2010	posted November 22, 2010 11:10 AM Pre-numps are a good thing. IP: Logged
Randall Webmaster Posts: 22150 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 22, 2010 11:32 AM Pluto, are you a real person? j/k You just seem like the coolest chick ever. ------------------ "A heart of gold cannot be borrowed, bought, or sold." IP: Logged
teasel Knowflake Posts: 4813 From: Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 22, 2010 11:38 AM I wouldn't have before, but given what I've heard of one woman's divorce, that took four years to achieve, I might. Her ex was abusive, and did everything he could to drag it out, and make her miserable. She not only got her divorce, but a huge, beautiful house that he did not want to hand over. I would sign one, to protect any potential children, and to keep myself from having to go through something like that. Not that they can't cause emotional distress without a ring. IP: Logged
NickiG Moderator Posts: 5625 From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann Registered: Jul 2010	posted November 22, 2010 11:54 AM i prefer the traditional ideal of marriage...a couple marries in love and stays in love for the rest of their lives....no matter how much they begin to dislike each other after so many years they still stay together cuz deep down they know they still love each other...call me a romantic or idealist, call me what you want but thats how i want my life to be so i say no to a prenup ------------------ the better the chase, the better the reward IP: Logged
StarrofVenusGirl Knowflake Posts: 1314 From: Down the Rabbit Hole Registered: Jun 2009	posted November 22, 2010 12:08 PM I hate the term prenup. "Pre-nuptial clause/amendment/contract/vow" sounds so much better. I'm a Virgo. I'm all about wordsmithing. I'm also a romantic. I don't like the idea of haggling before the wedding when you're supposed to be mooning into each other's eyes. BUT, if you think about, pre-marital negotiations regarding wealth are an ancient practice. Dowries, bride-price, etc. People have always been concerned about what a party was bringing into the marriage. Randall is correct that a marriage is a contract, one that should be well-thought out and carefully negotiated. The difference between now and a thousand or even a hundred years ago is that is the contract is easily dissolved nowadays. So knowing what you will leave with if the marriage is declared null is paramount. If there is significant preexisting wealth belonging to one or both parties, then a pre-nuptial negotiation and agreement is practical since unfortunately in our society, it is not likely that the marriage will endure. If not, but if either party feels like chance of significant wealth accumulation exists during the marriage and a 50/50 split and joint physical and legal custody of any offspring isn't acceptable, then it's probably wise as well. Otherwise, if neither of us have significant assets or kids to protect going in I'd rather take my chances without a prenup and split it 50/50 in the event of divorce. I think that's a good compromise. IP: Logged
PlutoSquared Knowflake Posts: 4500 From: Mars Registered: Aug 2010	posted November 22, 2010 12:28 PM P2 IP: Logged
NickiG Moderator Posts: 5625 From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann Registered: Jul 2010	posted November 22, 2010 12:38 PM also, i think a prenup is selfish...its basically saying you can have your money and i'll keep mine, and a marriage is a union, its two people becoming one and sharing everything they own and signing a prenup says, to me, i dont want to share my stuff. another thing, a dowry was given to the wife as a wedding present, it was either money, a home that the husband built for her, farm animals, whatever he could afford to give her, its far from a prenup, IMO ------------------ the better the chase, the better the reward IP: Logged
WinkAway Knowflake Posts: 1577 From: here, there & everywhere Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 22, 2010 12:58 PM I would totally agree to a pre nup. It's a very adult thing to do. I only say that because I was married at 20 to my ex. We were both VERY immature and very not ready for marriage. I went into it saying we will be together forever...blah blah. But choose to ignore it or not, marriages now days just don't last. Sad but true. And to deal with the issues that may arise out of a divorce BEFORE the marriage starts is a great idea. While you both care about each other's well being. It would make divorce an easier ride if it should ever occur. just my 2 cents... IP: Logged
StarrofVenusGirl Knowflake Posts: 1314 From: Down the Rabbit Hole Registered: Jun 2009	posted November 22, 2010 01:01 PM I thought the wife's family provided the dowry and she brought it with her to her marriage to help establish the household? IP: Logged
NickiG Moderator Posts: 5625 From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann Registered: Jul 2010	posted November 22, 2010 01:03 PM thats not what i was taught in my social studies classes in school, star ------------------ the better the chase, the better the reward IP: Logged
teasel Knowflake Posts: 4813 From: Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 22, 2010 01:49 PM . IP: Logged
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 37417 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010	posted November 22, 2010 02:33 PM I would sign one if someone had children he wanted to protect, for sure. ------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged
scorpio17 Knowflake Posts: 785 From: Netherlands Registered: Dec 2009	posted November 22, 2010 03:02 PM Wouldn't it make sense now, while both are in love, to decide the terms for a split should it ever occur? Expect the best, but prepare for the worst. Marriage is a contract. And like any other contract, it should be detailed in writing what happens when there is a breach. Opinions? I agree with the above. There can be situations when someone has his own business. You don't want that taken away from you. Your wife has already left and your business has gone too. A contract is not romantic, buth love isn't always that way. I want it to be romantic ofcourse. IP: Logged
BearsArcher Moderator Posts: 728 From: Arizona with Bear the Leo Registered: Apr 2010	posted November 22, 2010 03:56 PM I would but never had to in my last marriage (to a wealthy Virgo) or in this one (a not so wealthy Leo). The Virgo trusted that should our marriage dissolve that I wasn't going to be a money hungry jerk. He was right. We divorced, remained friends and I never made a play for what he had because I didn't help him make it- it was his family /working money. IP: Logged
Lara Newflake Posts: 0 From: Registered: Dec 2011	posted November 22, 2010 04:24 PM ALWAYS have a pre-nup or put your money into a trust so when the sh1t hits the fan, you are safe financially. Heavenly love one day can be hellish hatred the next! IP: Logged
Randall Webmaster Posts: 22150 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 22, 2010 05:45 PM Nicki, I love your sense of idealism. It is so refreshing. It's difficult staying that way when people and the world screw you over and over and over. Don't let the world make you ever change--not ever ever ever. ------------------ "A heart of gold cannot be borrowed, bought, or sold." IP: Logged
NickiG Moderator Posts: 5625 From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann Registered: Jul 2010	posted November 22, 2010 05:46 PM your so wonderful randall ------------------ the better the chase, the better the reward IP: Logged
Randall Webmaster Posts: 22150 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009	posted November 22, 2010 06:06 PM No, you are. And I am always open to change my mind about stuff. I'm not stubborn. I stand my ground if it's something I believe in, but I also listen to all sides and try to see others' points of view. Sometimes, both sides are right. Life is not black or white--there are varying shades of grey. ------------------ "A heart of gold cannot be borrowed, bought, or sold." IP: Logged
Lara Newflake Posts: 0 From: Registered: Dec 2011	posted November 22, 2010 06:06 PM Can you guys either get a room or pass me the sick bag? You have Scorpio sun Randall, dont you? btw what happened to the 'baby forum' thread? Has it been deleted? I can't find it. IP: Logged
NickiG Moderator Posts: 5625 From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann Registered: Jul 2010	posted November 22, 2010 06:15 PM ------------------ the better the chase, the better the reward IP: Logged
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 37417 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010	posted November 22, 2010 06:16 PM ALL of LL is Randalls room, Girlfriend ------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged
StarrofVenusGirl Knowflake Posts: 1314 From: Down the Rabbit Hole Registered: Jun 2009	posted November 22, 2010 06:22 PM I am rather amused and tickled by Nicki and Randall's growing infatuation with each other But that is my nosy 8th house showing, wanting to be all up in everybody's psyche and watch the transformation. It's a fascinating study, and a privilege that they let us in on the peep show Ahhh. Seduction. Flirtation. The dance. Nuances of sweet romance! Now Nicki will really IP: Logged
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 37417 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010	posted November 22, 2010 06:25 PM Love in all it's forms is what makes life beautiful. In honor of Pire, I will say N'cest pa? ------------------ Pluto conjunct Dejanira, Girlfriend. IP: Logged

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