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Author Topic:   How Important is Sex in a Relationship? Answer in percentage please (:
coconutcancermoon
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posted January 14, 2011 07:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for coconutcancermoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I would say it makes about 40% and the rest is love, respect and communication.

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Ami Anne
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posted January 14, 2011 08:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is one of my favorite sayings.
Lexx put it on a thread.
"The tragedy of sexual intercourse is the perpetual virginity of the soul"
If you had that type of soul connection,sex would express the soul connection, not substitute for it.
I have no interest in anything less,myself.
((((Coconutcancermoon))))

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Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You must face the dregs of Nessus to touch the love and beauty of Neptune.
Me

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littlecloud
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posted January 14, 2011 09:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for littlecloud     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
100% Important

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coconutcancermoon
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posted January 14, 2011 09:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for coconutcancermoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree!

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LEXX
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From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
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posted January 14, 2011 10:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LEXX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Percentage?
Hmmmmm.......
That would I suppose vary from person to person, couple to couple.

I have zero desire for sex with another person without love.

Oh for sure I have seriously strong and rather frequent sexual urges, but that is what solo pleasuring is about.

To be with someone where the love is mutual AND the sexual aspect very mutually compatible, both on the same wave length and into the same things.....
Oh yeah! I want that for sure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Otherwise I go solo sexually, and go it alone
relationship wise, because I need and want a very eager and willing lover, with whom the love and the sexual expression of love and desire is in sync with me.

Sorry, cannot ascribe a percentage to How Important is Sex in a Relationship.
Except to say, VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Otherwise, just be sexless friends, do not bother trying for a relationship.
Been there done that, forget it.

Its been so long I do not remember when I have been the receiver.
My ex to be (he is gay) told me, just find yourself a few sex buddies, you've had plenty of offers!
Why do you keep telling them no?
I am like.....
Ewwwwwwwwww!
Not my thing!
I hate getting hit on by guys who are only out for sex.
I do not like such attention. Come at me that way right off and it's get lost dudes!.

Yes! Sex must be for me, an expression of that soul/love connection!
From tender and gentle, to wild and unrestrained as is mutually desired at any given moment!

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I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX
Learning is eternal; all true Gods know this simple truth~LEXX
~Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!
~Leonardo da Vinci
Religions are the cradles of despotism ~Marquis de Sade
Truth is The Incorruptible Light~Lucy
The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Nikola Tesla"
}><}}(*>♥<*){{><{
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

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AcousticGod
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From: Pleasanton, CA
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posted January 14, 2011 01:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Love it, but I'll go with 20% (and that's up from my initial thought of 10%). It may seem weird, but I look at love with a big picture lens. I could have sex just about every day, and maybe even multiple times a day (with my Mars in Scorpio), but the reality is I'd like a partner in life that I'm 85%+ compatible with. That's what's important to me. Several things trump sex in importance.

However, I don't think I'd go for someone that's too prudish. Prudishness seems close-minded to me, and that's not a character trait I admire.

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NickiG
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posted January 14, 2011 02:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NickiG     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by AcousticGod:
Love it, but I'll go with 20% (and that's up from my initial thought of 10%). It may seem weird, but I look at love with a big picture lens. I could have sex just about every day, and maybe even multiple times a day (with my Mars in Scorpio), but the reality is I'd like a partner in life that I'm 85%+ compatible with. That's what's important to me. Several things trump sex in importance.

However, I don't think I'd go for someone that's too prudish. Prudishness seems close-minded to me, and that's not a character trait I admire.


pretty much what i was gonna say...love first, sex second

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put your foot down once, not stomp it over and over

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Ami Anne
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posted January 14, 2011 02:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That is sweet,AG.I am surprised that a Mars in Scorpio would feel that way lol
Did you feel this way when you were a younger Mars in Scorpio


PS Nicki---I use that face in honor of you!

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Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You must face the dregs of Nessus to touch the love and beauty of Neptune.
Me

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NickiG
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From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
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posted January 14, 2011 02:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NickiG     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@ami lol

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put your foot down once, not stomp it over and over

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AcousticGod
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posted January 14, 2011 03:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm not sure, but I think so. The quality of the relationship affects the quality of the sex life more often than the reverse.

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted January 14, 2011 03:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Nicki

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Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You must face the dregs of Nessus to touch the love and beauty of Neptune.
Me

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GypseeWind
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From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
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posted January 14, 2011 04:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
75%.

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NickiG
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posted January 14, 2011 04:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NickiG     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
daaang gypsee....i guess its safe to say your quite the nymph, lol

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put your foot down once, not stomp it over and over

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littlecloud
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posted January 14, 2011 04:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for littlecloud     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
I'm not sure, but I think so. The quality of the relationship affects the quality of the sex life more often than the reverse.

I've had experience with the reverse. If the sexual attraction is not there then the love starts to die for me. It's about feeling wanted, which for some is equated with feeling loved. Sometimes a great sexual connection makes people realize that they do care for each other. All I'm saying is once the sex goes out the window so does the relationship.

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NickiG
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posted January 14, 2011 04:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NickiG     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by littlecloud:
I've had experience with the reverse. If the sexual attraction is not there then the love starts to die for me. It's about feeling wanted, which for some is equated with feeling loved. Sometimes a great sexual connection makes people realize that they do care for each other. All I'm saying is once the sex goes out the window so does the relationship.

you know i totally get that but in my experience physical attraction comes after i am in love

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put your foot down once, not stomp it over and over

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Virgo-AriesArtist
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posted January 14, 2011 04:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Virgo-AriesArtist     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I would say 60%, because the connection is sharpened with intimacy. I couldn't be in a relationship where we didn't turn each other on sexually, nor one where sex was a once a month planned activity. That being said, if one partner has sexual wants and needs (ex.fetishes, styles etc.) and the other partner is not only totally turned off, but not willing to participate, I don't believe there should be any guilt employed for cooperation. This especially applies if the uninterested partner has tried to accomedate the other's wants/needs and after genuine attempts, will not. If it's too big a make-it-or-break-it issue, perhaps they should look elsewhere for lifemates...

Just my two-cents (and from "been there" experience).

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littlecloud
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posted January 14, 2011 04:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for littlecloud     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
NikiG- I'm the opposite. No physical attraction=no love

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Ami Anne
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posted January 14, 2011 04:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Littlecloud
What if you go through periods when you are not attracted to the person?
Do you think it is "over" when these happen?
I am just trying to get your thinking.I am NOT being contentious at ALL
You just remind me of someone I know in my 3 D and I am asking you instead LOL

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Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You must face the dregs of Nessus to touch the love and beauty of Neptune.
Me

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NickiG
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From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
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posted January 14, 2011 04:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NickiG     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by littlecloud:
NikiG- I'm the opposite. No physical attraction=no love

i actually used to believe that, and although i separated sex from love i still felt that there cant be love without sex...but now that i have grown and matured since that train of though i actually now think that that way of thinking is sick, kind of like an illness in the head, probably from some sort of abuse from the past, no offence intended...i dont wish to impede on your beliefs or try to change them, that is merely my opinion

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put your foot down once, not stomp it over and over

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AcousticGod
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posted January 14, 2011 06:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I know what you're saying littlecloud. Actually, I feel like I might have screwed up in that area in the past. Like I said, I have Mars in Scorpio, so I definitely have a strong libido, but my gf stated early that she didn't want to have sex all the time, that she wanted to keep it special. No problem. I'm cool with that. That lead to mostly letting her initiate things, because I figured the timing was more important to her. I'm good to go whenever. My not initiating things may have been wrong, though. I realize that in retrospect, because it didn't give the right impression.

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littlecloud
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posted January 14, 2011 06:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for littlecloud     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What I meant that no attraction=no love is that I need to feel physically attracted to someone to even want to pursue anything else. If I'm not physically attracted to you then chances are that nothing will happen. I've experienced this twice before where I should've just stayed honest to my feelings and not go out with the person because I think they're smart. Physical is just how I communicate. Not just sexually but with friends as well.

Ami- In my experience once I am not attracted to you then I've already moved on. Like I said to friend once, "Once I start thinking about having sex with someone else then the relationship is already over for me." This has happened. One of my ex's behavior became extremely unattractive for me to the point where I was disgusted looking at him. A little while before breaking up I remember checking out everything that walked.
If I was attracted to you physically it will always be there, however if your behavior became unattractive as well then as physically attracted to you as I am, I will not do anything physical with you.
If I go through periods of not being attracted to the person I'm with then I don't want to be with them.

quote:
You just remind me of someone I know in my 3 D and I am asking you instead LOL

What's that?

NikiG- I think I didn't come across too clearly. I don't separate love from sex. Actually having sex with someone is a guarantee that I will feel for you. At the very least I will care deeply.

quote:
I'm good to go whenever.

Music to my ears...er eyes

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MoonWitch
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posted January 14, 2011 09:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonWitch     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I can't really give it a percentage but it's VERY important for me because I see it as a way to *connect* with my partner in a very intimate way. Not that we don't connect in other ways but sex is intimate on a whole other level - primal, spiritual and yes even intellectual all at once!

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Randall
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posted January 25, 2011 07:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Does sex define a relationship? Or can two people have a relationship and not have sex?

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"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all." Harriet Van Horne

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Ami Anne
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posted January 25, 2011 07:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Randall
For some reason, that reminds me of the saying" For every beautiful woman, there is some guy who doesn't want her"

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Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You must face,touch and feel the dregs of Nessus before you can grasp the pristine beauty of Neptune.
Me

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Ami Anne
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posted January 25, 2011 07:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

dp

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