posted February 18, 2011 07:32 PM
From my perspective there are more differences than similarities to an RL group (I am comparing to a group situation in university/college, such as being part of a particular Uni Club with a particular focus - like LL has Linda Goodman's life & writings as a focus). Similarities:
- There is a wide variety of people
- Everyone has to abide by certain norms/rules of conduct
- There are "friendships" that form over time.. You might be closer to some knowflakes than you are to others - or know more about them - than you do about others.
- There are occasional differences/arguments - as would occur in an RL group
- People interact, share opinions and thoughts on particular topics that interest the group as a whole.
- There are extroverted and introverted personalities.. Some people are very "loud" and attention seeking, whereas others are not so interested in competing for air time (so to speak).
Differences:
- There is no possibility to have a private conversation within the realms of LL. This is not so in other group situations in RL - when you can have private conversations at any stage, if you so please.
I think it is good that everything is public, because it cuts down on clique formation and bit*chiness.
- You can ignore those things/topics people you do not like. In RL you have to deal with things you don't like. You can't turn a blind eye and forget it exists.
- Some people are more likely to embellish the truth and create an alter-ego online, than they would be off-line.
- Conversely, other people find it easier to be very open and honest online.. about things they would not normally discuss offline.
This is because the pressure is off. There is no possibility of social/public embarrassment for most people - because most people are not emotionally attached to the opinions of fellow online posters.
- There is much less 'judgement' on here. I find everyone extremely open minded.
For instance - I wouldn't go to a club at my University and tell people that I love rough sex.. It just seems - almost - anti-social to do that.
On LL... it's like everything goes.. and you can be as open as you like about ANY area of your life.
- There are several different topics of discussion. RL groups usually focus on particular things.. This is a very broad ranging forum with so many different topics being approached.
- This is just my opinion - but due to the lack of body language and visuals - I believe people are less emotionally invested. I would say that on average everyone is blunter online... and they also have a thicker skin (since the comments are not coming from people the know in RL -- or people who have a real presence in their life.. but rather from outsiders to their RL environment).
- Your actions do not usually have the same sort of serious consequences online, as they do offline. People are much more careful so as to not be fired for instance - than they would be about being banned from LL.
- If you have a serious RL problem, 90% of people you meet online will not practically be of any help to you.
There are exceptions though.
But in general there is much less responsibility in an online friendship. It's easy to turn a blind eye or help people - from a detached intellectual perspective - rather than to be there emotionally/practically (since it is not that kind of interaction).
- Often, we may not find out what happened to people, if they leave. We've had a couple of posters disappear (For example - Astro Junkie).. Basically, we don't know if these people are alive or dead.. and there doesn't seem to be any "requirement" that they let us *know*.
This is very different to RL.. where you would *find out* what happened, if a person in the group disappeared.
So basically - there doesn't seem to be as much personal involvement..
Also - It's possible that because we do not have this expectation that these people will always be there - or that we will know what happens to them (as we do about our RL friends & acquaintances) - it's possible that psychologically this is why we don't get *too* close.
For instance, I spoke to an RL friend this morning. Now I know that she will be there next week if I want to go out with her. I know that she'll be there in a year's time.
I know that if she is NOT there something would have happened... and I would *know* what happened.
On LL it's more like people can come and go.
I noticed for instance that one of our regular posters - has not been posting at all and never posted a "good bye" thread, as far as I saw.
I don't feel weird about that... I think she is out there living her life!
But if it was my RL friend who disappeared ^ I would be affected. I would wonder WTF happened?
So it is just different and more detached online.
Overall I see LL like Lucia does..
as..
quote:
an internet forum in the traditional meaning of "forum"--a place to exchange information and debate and discuss ideas