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Author Topic:   Is LL like a Real Life Group?
Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 6659
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted February 17, 2011 06:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was talking to someone ,today,about her experiences with LL.
I said,"LL is like any real life group. The dynamics are basically the same."
That got me thinking about what other people think.
Give specifics of groups you have been in,if you care to.
How they were different/the same.
I will be back and answer.
I am thinking about it

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Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs

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NickiG
Moderator

Posts: 3026
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010

posted February 17, 2011 07:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NickiG     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
it is the closest thing to a real live group than any other online thing

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What happens on Venus stays on Venus

-Nasa

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 6659
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted February 18, 2011 11:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My vote is that the dynamics on LL are the same as in a real life group.

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Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs

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Mblake81
Knowflake

Posts: 974
From:
Registered: Aug 2010

posted February 18, 2011 11:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mblake81     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
We are not face to face so we do not have to be subject to each others raised eyebrows.

In a small way the internet helps progress.

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Lucia23
Knowflake

Posts: 2252
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 18, 2011 03:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think it's very different. For some people, their real-life status and role in the world is hidden on internet sites like this. I find I have a very different experience because people don't know who I am. In real life, the way people respond to my opinions is so much shaped by who I am.

From my end, the way as person looks and the vibe I get around this is very important to me, it really shapes how I interact with them.

I like the idea of using an internet forum in the traditional meaning of "forum"--a place to exchange information and debate and discuss ideas. I don't think online interaction is at all like real human interaction--at least for me it isn't.

It's interesting to see opinions here that are radically different than any I encounter in my "real" life, though. It shows there's a bigger world out there, that's not the same as the world of my friends and colleagues.

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omnimatty
Knowflake

Posts: 51
From: south nyack, ny usa
Registered: Oct 2010

posted February 18, 2011 06:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for omnimatty     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, just get everyone on webcam on something like Stickam, and then you have some visual clues too in the communication, that to me would push it over to like a RL group. Perhaps because I am a visual learner.

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omnimatty
Knowflake

Posts: 51
From: south nyack, ny usa
Registered: Oct 2010

posted February 18, 2011 06:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for omnimatty     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
here, I'll start.
http://www.stickam.com/omnimatty

Visit if you wish.

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Betty Boop
Knowflake

Posts: 517
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010

posted February 18, 2011 07:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
From my perspective there are more differences than similarities to an RL group (I am comparing to a group situation in university/college, such as being part of a particular Uni Club with a particular focus - like LL has Linda Goodman's life & writings as a focus).

Similarities:

- There is a wide variety of people
- Everyone has to abide by certain norms/rules of conduct
- There are "friendships" that form over time.. You might be closer to some knowflakes than you are to others - or know more about them - than you do about others.
- There are occasional differences/arguments - as would occur in an RL group
- People interact, share opinions and thoughts on particular topics that interest the group as a whole.
- There are extroverted and introverted personalities.. Some people are very "loud" and attention seeking, whereas others are not so interested in competing for air time (so to speak).

Differences:

- There is no possibility to have a private conversation within the realms of LL. This is not so in other group situations in RL - when you can have private conversations at any stage, if you so please.
I think it is good that everything is public, because it cuts down on clique formation and bit*chiness.

- You can ignore those things/topics people you do not like. In RL you have to deal with things you don't like. You can't turn a blind eye and forget it exists.

- Some people are more likely to embellish the truth and create an alter-ego online, than they would be off-line.

- Conversely, other people find it easier to be very open and honest online.. about things they would not normally discuss offline.
This is because the pressure is off. There is no possibility of social/public embarrassment for most people - because most people are not emotionally attached to the opinions of fellow online posters.

- There is much less 'judgement' on here. I find everyone extremely open minded.
For instance - I wouldn't go to a club at my University and tell people that I love rough sex.. It just seems - almost - anti-social to do that.
On LL... it's like everything goes.. and you can be as open as you like about ANY area of your life.

- There are several different topics of discussion. RL groups usually focus on particular things.. This is a very broad ranging forum with so many different topics being approached.

- This is just my opinion - but due to the lack of body language and visuals - I believe people are less emotionally invested. I would say that on average everyone is blunter online... and they also have a thicker skin (since the comments are not coming from people the know in RL -- or people who have a real presence in their life.. but rather from outsiders to their RL environment).

- Your actions do not usually have the same sort of serious consequences online, as they do offline. People are much more careful so as to not be fired for instance - than they would be about being banned from LL.

- If you have a serious RL problem, 90% of people you meet online will not practically be of any help to you.
There are exceptions though.
But in general there is much less responsibility in an online friendship. It's easy to turn a blind eye or help people - from a detached intellectual perspective - rather than to be there emotionally/practically (since it is not that kind of interaction).


- Often, we may not find out what happened to people, if they leave. We've had a couple of posters disappear (For example - Astro Junkie).. Basically, we don't know if these people are alive or dead.. and there doesn't seem to be any "requirement" that they let us *know*.
This is very different to RL.. where you would *find out* what happened, if a person in the group disappeared.
So basically - there doesn't seem to be as much personal involvement..

Also - It's possible that because we do not have this expectation that these people will always be there - or that we will know what happens to them (as we do about our RL friends & acquaintances) - it's possible that psychologically this is why we don't get *too* close.

For instance, I spoke to an RL friend this morning. Now I know that she will be there next week if I want to go out with her. I know that she'll be there in a year's time.
I know that if she is NOT there something would have happened... and I would *know* what happened.

On LL it's more like people can come and go.
I noticed for instance that one of our regular posters - has not been posting at all and never posted a "good bye" thread, as far as I saw.
I don't feel weird about that... I think she is out there living her life!

But if it was my RL friend who disappeared ^ I would be affected. I would wonder WTF happened?


So it is just different and more detached online.


Overall I see LL like Lucia does..

as..

quote:
an internet forum in the traditional meaning of "forum"--a place to exchange information and debate and discuss ideas

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 6174
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 18, 2011 07:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Very well-said, Betty Boop.

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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Betty Boop
Knowflake

Posts: 517
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010

posted February 18, 2011 08:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Randall

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 6659
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted February 18, 2011 08:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Good points ,Betty Boop

------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 6659
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted February 28, 2011 11:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think that if you are in ANY group ,you have to learn to be strong or someone(s) will bully you.
If you are weak and decide to conform ,that will not save you.
If your level of weakness falls below the group's allowable level, you will be targeted too.
There is NO safety in any group other than personal strength.
I knew this when I was younger.
I never lost sight of it.
However,I avoided groups cuz I was not sure I had the strength to deal with them.
When I was in college,I did not go out for a sorority cuz I was not sure I could buck a group,if need be.
This frightened me and so I avoided groups, mainly.
Now,I could handle a group,I think.

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Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs

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Lucia23
Knowflake

Posts: 2252
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 28, 2011 12:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
I think that if you are in ANY group ,you have to learn to be strong or someone(s) will bully you.

I don't agree. And I'm talking about real-life groups here--I think deciding not to ever bully anyone is a practice, too. In a mature group, no one needs to be on the defensive because no one is on the offensive. I'm thinking about my group of real-life friends...well, one group of them in particular, I guess there are a few groups...and people just naturally try to be respectful and open-hearted to each other.

Bullying isn't universal. It's a knee-jerk, low level human behavior that many people don't practice, just the way they pay for their food after eating at a restaurant and wait until they're in a bathroom to go.

Obsession with being a victim is a passive-agressive form of bullying. They're flip sides of the same coin. And I think that whole range of behaviors--coming from a place of power and control in either direction--is something deeply troubled, abused people do, not something everyone does in every group.

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