Author
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Topic: Have you ever been used in a relationship?
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charmainec Moderator Posts: 2376 From: on the other side of the rainbow Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 07, 2011 07:57 AM
..And how did that person use you? When and how did you find out the truth?IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 8284 From: The Goober Galaxy Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 07, 2011 10:48 AM
Haven't we all? People have agendas. They learn it at an early age. Love is hard to find...but that just makes it mean more and makes it more worthwhile. As the turbaned one told Linda the first time they met at the Roosevelt hotel, "Love is all." ------------------ "Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
charmainec Moderator Posts: 2376 From: on the other side of the rainbow Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 07, 2011 12:30 PM
"if it's Love it lasts"No,not everyone has such agendas. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 9399 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 07, 2011 12:35 PM
editIP: Logged |
teasel Knowflake Posts: 2981 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 07, 2011 05:29 PM
I don't think everyone has an agenda, either. I'm not even sure how to take that - and Randall isn't the first man I've heard that from. I don't like talk of agendas, and I don't like the idea of using or being used.*edited. IP: Logged |
littlecloud Moderator Posts: 968 From: Registered: Nov 2010
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posted March 07, 2011 07:40 PM
I think Randall is saying that as humans we all have our wants and needs and do our best to satisfy them. My need for friendship could make me "use" a person to achieve that. Technically it is using the person. I know that you mean use in a bad way. Using the person according to your needs without any regard for them. IP: Logged |
charmainec Moderator Posts: 2376 From: on the other side of the rainbow Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 08, 2011 01:23 AM
I meant used as in with malicious intent.IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 8284 From: The Goober Galaxy Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 08, 2011 01:01 PM
Friends will use us more than anyone.------------------ "Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared Moderator Posts: 4336 From: Mars Registered: Aug 2010
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posted March 08, 2011 01:55 PM
Yes. I have been. Badly. But, to a certain degree "using" and "being used" is a natural thing, to a degree. Really, giving and taking.It's when one side is taking, and taking, and taking, with bad intentions - that's the junk. IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared Moderator Posts: 4336 From: Mars Registered: Aug 2010
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posted March 08, 2011 02:10 PM
P2IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared Moderator Posts: 4336 From: Mars Registered: Aug 2010
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posted March 08, 2011 02:23 PM
quote: Originally posted by Randall: Friends will use us more than anyone.
Randall, I really like your point of view, but sometimes you say the saddest things. Do you really believe that? If so, maybe you should surround yourself with better friends - those who are concerned about you, too. IP: Logged |
Mblake81 Knowflake Posts: 1393 From: Registered: Aug 2010
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posted March 08, 2011 02:36 PM
quote: Originally posted by PlutoSquared: Randall, I really like your point of view, but sometimes you say the saddest things.Do you really believe that? If so, maybe you should surround yourself with better friends - those who are concerned about you, too.
I think metallica said it best regarding Randall's comment. "You know its sad but true"
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mochai Knowflake Posts: 788 From: Charon Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 08, 2011 02:37 PM
quote: Originally posted by littlecloud: I think Randall is saying that as humans we all have our wants and needs and do our best to satisfy them. My need for friendship could make me "use" a person to achieve that. Technically it is using the person. I know that you mean use in a bad way. Using the person according to your needs without any regard for them.
There is nothing using about having a reciprocitous relationship. You are both gaining support and learning from one another. If anything your mutual friendship is a mutual gift, not using. We all need support.
Yes friends can use and that's the sign of an unhealthy friendship provided it's not a karmic debt scenario. Still, even if it becomes unbalanced, it's a part of the learning process and not entirely bad. Sometimes I just really like doing nice things for people and I don't want anything in return. That ruins it. If they are giving from the heart, it's not using. It's accepting. IP: Logged |