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Author Topic:   Have you ever been used in a relationship?
charmainec
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From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 07, 2011 07:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for charmainec     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
..And how did that person use you?
When and how did you find out the truth?

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Randall
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From: The Goober Galaxy
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posted March 07, 2011 10:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Haven't we all? People have agendas. They learn it at an early age. Love is hard to find...but that just makes it mean more and makes it more worthwhile. As the turbaned one told Linda the first time they met at the Roosevelt hotel, "Love is all."

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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charmainec
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From: on the other side of the rainbow
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posted March 07, 2011 12:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for charmainec     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"if it's Love it lasts"

No,not everyone has such agendas.

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
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posted March 07, 2011 12:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
edit

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teasel
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posted March 07, 2011 05:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't think everyone has an agenda, either. I'm not even sure how to take that - and Randall isn't the first man I've heard that from. I don't like talk of agendas, and I don't like the idea of using or being used.

*edited.

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littlecloud
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posted March 07, 2011 07:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for littlecloud     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think Randall is saying that as humans we all have our wants and needs and do our best to satisfy them. My need for friendship could make me "use" a person to achieve that. Technically it is using the person.

I know that you mean use in a bad way. Using the person according to your needs without any regard for them.

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charmainec
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From: on the other side of the rainbow
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posted March 08, 2011 01:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for charmainec     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I meant used as in with malicious intent.

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Randall
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From: The Goober Galaxy
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posted March 08, 2011 01:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Friends will use us more than anyone.

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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PlutoSquared
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From: Mars
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posted March 08, 2011 01:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSquared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes. I have been. Badly. But, to a certain degree "using" and "being used" is a natural thing, to a degree. Really, giving and taking.

It's when one side is taking, and taking, and taking, with bad intentions - that's the junk.

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PlutoSquared
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From: Mars
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posted March 08, 2011 02:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSquared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
P2

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PlutoSquared
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From: Mars
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posted March 08, 2011 02:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSquared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
Friends will use us more than anyone.


Randall, I really like your point of view, but sometimes you say the saddest things.

Do you really believe that? If so, maybe you should surround yourself with better friends - those who are concerned about you, too.

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Mblake81
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posted March 08, 2011 02:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mblake81     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by PlutoSquared:
Randall, I really like your point of view, but sometimes you say the saddest things.

Do you really believe that? If so, maybe you should surround yourself with better friends - those who are concerned about you, too.


I think metallica said it best regarding Randall's comment.

"You know its sad but true"

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mochai
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From: Charon
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 08, 2011 02:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mochai     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by littlecloud:
I think Randall is saying that as humans we all have our wants and needs and do our best to satisfy them. My need for friendship could make me "use" a person to achieve that. Technically it is using the person.

I know that you mean use in a bad way. Using the person according to your needs without any regard for them.



There is nothing using about having a reciprocitous relationship. You are both gaining support and learning from one another. If anything your mutual friendship is a mutual gift, not using. We all need support.

Yes friends can use and that's the sign of an unhealthy friendship provided it's not a karmic debt scenario. Still, even if it becomes unbalanced, it's a part of the learning process and not entirely bad.

Sometimes I just really like doing nice things for people and I don't want anything in return. That ruins it. If they are giving from the heart, it's not using. It's accepting.

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