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Author
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Topic: Loyalty
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PlutoSquared
Knowflake Posts: 4500
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted March 08, 2011 01:02 PM
  
Would you be loyal to a friend or family member, in spite of finding out they had mishandled a situation? Behaved in an inappropriate way? Developed poor conduct? Self-destructive behavior?What is the point of loyalty to you? Is it loving and better to be loyal, no matter what? Or, are there situations where everyone needs to draw the line? Gimme your perspective, and be honest! IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 15929
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 08, 2011 01:04 PM
I won't stop loving them, but I will also inform them that they are wrong. Blind loyalty is a travesty to them and to yourself.------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 3387
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 08, 2011 01:06 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
I won't stop loving them, but I will also inform them that they are wrong. Blind loyalty is a travesty to them and to yourself.
Completely agree. ------------------
The Earth Laughs In Flowers
... R.W.Emerson IP: Logged |
mochai
Knowflake Posts: 1168
From: Charon
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 08, 2011 01:10 PM
You love the sinner and not the sin without reinforcing the sin or enabling it. As the buddhist teacher Chogyam Trungpa said, there is compassion and there is idiot compassion. As he put it, idiot compassion is enabling, compassion is not..I will maintain loyalty and have had the fortune to never fall out of love with someone, no matter how ugly they turn, however love is not as simple as always allowing things. Sometimes, if there is no better way, sometimes loving must mean loving from a distance, and that is so hard to do. If you cannot love and take care of yourself then how can you love another? It is not so simple. That's my neophyte perspective. IP: Logged |
TxGirl
Knowflake Posts: 257
From:
Registered: Feb 2011
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posted March 08, 2011 01:10 PM
quote:
Originally posted by PlutoSquared:
Would you be loyal to a friend or family member, in spite of finding out they had mishandled a situation? Behaved in an inappropriate way? Developed poor conduct? Self-destructive behavior?What is the point of loyalty to you? Is it loving and better to be loyal, no matter what? Or, are there situations where everyone needs to draw the line? Gimme your perspective, and be honest!
I agree with Randall completely. And sometimes you need to draw the line. Not stop loving them but loving them enough to know that you can not continue contributing to this behavior and leaving them to face the hard stuff and learn to fix it themselves. It's that whole enabler mindset I can't handle. Loving someone can only go so far, eventually they have to learn to love themselves. IP: Logged |
PlutoSquared
Knowflake Posts: 4500
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted March 08, 2011 01:23 PM
Really healthy responses so far. I agree with you guys.IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 5843
From: Pleasanton, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 08, 2011 01:50 PM
quote:
Would you be loyal to a friend or family member, in spite of finding out they had mishandled a situation? Behaved in an inappropriate way? Developed poor conduct? Self-destructive behavior?
Because they're my family, yes. I guess there are some caveats if the people in my family were worse than they are. For instance, if I was dealing with a hardcore drug addict within my own family, my loyalty would be restricted to waiting on the other side of the addiction. I'm not going to actively engage with people being overly stupid. My forgiveness towards my family is primarily in the form of grace. I don't believe in necessarily informing them of their error, because they probably don't know any better. With most people, you just have to let them learn their own lessons in their own time. quote:
What is the point of loyalty to you?
I guess it's an expression of faith. quote:
Is it loving and better to be loyal, no matter what?
No. quote:
Or, are there situations where everyone needs to draw the line?
Yes. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9742
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 08, 2011 03:57 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
I won't stop loving them, but I will also inform them that they are wrong. Blind loyalty is a travesty to them and to yourself.
I agree.IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9742
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 08, 2011 03:58 PM
quote:
Originally posted by TxGirl:
I agree with Randall completely. And sometimes you need to draw the line. Not stop loving them but loving them enough to know that you can not continue contributing to this behavior and leaving them to face the hard stuff and learn to fix it themselves. It's that whole enabler mindset I can't handle.Loving someone can only go so far, eventually they have to learn to love themselves.
I agree!IP: Logged |
Frozen Queen
Moderator Posts: 535
From: 11th Dimension
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted March 08, 2011 06:11 PM
Hmm...Me and my younger sister had an extreme hot and cold sibling relationship and I have lost counts of the times when we fought and it got down to punches or when I would tell her that I wanted nothing to do with her and she should disappear from my life as I would from hers...I wasn't an angel really and I had a temper that would put Hell to shame coupled with the wiry frame of Pluto so we had our fights and battles and times when it was just *hit the red button* But now I realise that no matter what, she'll still be my sister and even if she earned my wrath for whatever reason, I'd take the shot for her  It's good too that I can See beyond my anger and rage and the veil on my Soul to re-member how lucky I am to have her with me. Poor kid had to bear with me at my lowest nadir and she still didn't say she was done with me unlike the nasty manipulation I used to throw around. God I love her so much!!!  ------------------
Ask Me anything. Anything. I will contrive to bring you the answer. The whole universe will I use to do this. So be on the lookout. This book is far from My only tool. You may ask a question, then put this book down. But watch. Listen. The words to the next song you hear. The information in the next article you read. The story line of the next movie you watch. The chance utterance of the next person you meet. Or the whisper of the next river, the next ocean, the next breeze that caresses your ear—all these devices are Mine; all these avenues are open to Me. I will speak to you if you will listen. I will come to you if you will invite Me. I will show you then that I have always been there. All ways.
♥ IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 15929
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 11, 2011 06:58 PM
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PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 268
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted March 11, 2011 07:07 PM
Friends & family and those I love get a lot more tolerance & patience from me, but there are still limits. And if I was in the wrong to do something I WANT my friends & family to point it out. Sometimes I need their perspective. And I consider it a favor to return the favor. But then I AM a Libra and we have a bad rep for that among other signs... 
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rajji
Knowflake Posts: 1274
From:
Registered: Jan 2011
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posted March 12, 2011 12:09 AM
I would definately be loyal irrespective of other's poor conduct or misbehavior.
I do understand turning a family member is easier in theory than in practice. Most of us are raised to believe that “family comes first.” Our instinctual protectiveness for “kith and kin” surfaces when faced with deciding what course to take.
IP: Logged |
soulful122
Knowflake Posts: 522
From: ←↓↑→
Registered: Jan 2010
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posted March 15, 2011 12:14 AM
quote:
Would you be loyal to a friend or family member, in spite of finding out they had mishandled a situation? Behaved in an inappropriate way? Developed poor conduct? Self-destructive behavior?
A large amount would depend on the situation.. but yes, I would stand by them. But I do know when I need to take a step back and walk away. I will never follow/support someone blindly.
I use to demand loyalty from people I was close to.. if they weren't I wouldn't want ANYTHING to do with them.. I think the reason being was that I was too guarded, too scared of being hurt. It was so exhausting! But through the years I've learned to loosen up.. like trust, loyalty isn't a given, it's earned. And like PixieJane said, if I wronged a friend or family, or behaved in a way hurtful, I definitely would want them to speak up.
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“If malice or envy were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang.” — Charley Reese IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 3927
From: Venus next to Randall
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 15, 2011 05:11 AM
In a relationship I expect loyalty 100 percent. With family I'm not as strict - most are loyal anyways. Even if they did mess up I would still Love them.------------------
quote:
I'm everyone.. paint your label on me..
Sneaker Pimps
IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 3927
From: Venus next to Randall
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 15, 2011 05:12 AM
Sorry misunderstood the q. I will tell them that were wrong but! still Love them.------------------
quote:
I'm everyone.. paint your label on me..
Sneaker Pimps
IP: Logged |
Herz_Aus_Stein
Knowflake Posts: 73
From: in my head
Registered: May 2009
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posted March 15, 2011 04:58 PM
this may sound harsh to most people... i make exceptions for no one, blood related or otherwise. so this is my honest answer. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9742
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 15, 2011 05:30 PM
 quote:
Originally posted by Herz_Aus_Stein:
this may sound harsh to most people... i make exceptions for no one, blood related or otherwise. so this is my honest answer.
When my siblings got caught shoplifting;
They expected me to go post bail and keep it a secret.
This was not their first time.
I said, sorry, you did the crime you do the time.
Same for a nephew of ex#1.
His parents repeatedly "stood by him"
well,
petty crimes soon accelerated to burning down several churches and other buildings, and viciously raping and brutally beating girls at convenience stores.(I think one victim died)
This was no stupid guy either but with college degrees, paid for of course by his doting and overly tolerant parents.
Standing by folks is not always doing them a favor of good.
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~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Nikola Tesla
~There is no box.~H♥
~Balance is not letting anyone love you less than you love yourself.~Felipe
~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX }><}}}(*>~
IP: Logged |
Herz_Aus_Stein
Knowflake Posts: 73
From: in my head
Registered: May 2009
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posted March 15, 2011 05:35 PM
^^ you do it once, you're expected to do it again.i'm strict and inflexible. wonder if that's because i'm earth influenced... IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9742
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 15, 2011 06:04 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Herz_Aus_Stein:
^^ you do it once, you're expected to do it again.i'm strict and inflexible. wonder if that's because i'm earth influenced...
I totally agree.
People, especially family, will take advantage of one under such circumstances.
I am Scorpio sun
Aqua Moon
Cap Asc.------------------
~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Nikola Tesla
~There is no box.~H♥
~Balance is not letting anyone love you less than you love yourself.~Felipe
~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX }><}}}(*>~ IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 15929
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 16, 2011 11:17 PM
Loyalty is honorable, and there's not an abundance of honor in the world.IP: Logged |
EverEvolvingSpirit
Knowflake Posts: 954
From: A Place of Pure Love <3
Registered: Feb 2011
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posted March 17, 2011 01:13 AM
If the person clearly didn't have the best intentions for me and my feelings then loyalty is not deserved.IP: Logged |
TxGirl
Knowflake Posts: 257
From:
Registered: Feb 2011
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posted March 17, 2011 02:11 AM
quote:
Originally posted by EverEvolvingSpirit:
If the person clearly didn't have the best intentions for me and my feelings then loyalty is not deserved.
I agree. IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9742
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 17, 2011 03:58 AM
quote:
Originally posted by EverEvolvingSpirit:
If the person clearly didn't have the best intentions for me and my feelings then loyalty is not deserved.
I agree.
To be loyal to anyone unworthy is showing no honour to oneself.
Also such misguided loyalty is a form of condoning and enabling the wrongdoer.
Legally it can be called aiding and abetting or accessory to the crime. ------------------
~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Nikola Tesla
~There is no box.~H♥
~Balance is not letting anyone love you less than you love yourself.~Felipe
~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX }><}}}(*>~ IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 3927
From: Venus next to Randall
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 01, 2011 07:00 AM
quote:
Originally posted by LEXX:
I agree.
To be loyal to anyone unworthy is showing no honour to oneself.
Also such misguided loyalty is a form of condoning and enabling the wrongdoer.
Legally it can be called aiding and abetting or accessory to the crime.
IP: Logged |
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