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Author Topic:   Let me share an issue I have
Stawr
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Posts: 1514
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010

posted March 13, 2011 11:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stawr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have issues...D*mn my passive agression. It destroys my friendships...

I had a falling out with a best friend over it...Me being passive to peoples faces...will just end up making me resent them and go behind their back.

Why am I so messed up? Why do I have to go through this again? I don't want to be like this I don't want to be passive and resent people who don't deserve it.

I hope she can forgive me.

I had another falling out in the summer with an ex bestie. Made me realize I'm not a good friend, and I don't deserve to be anyone's friend. And when I met my new friend I was scared. And worried that I would eventully f*ck it up. I'll spill the story later and explain MAYBE...but I allready feel bad enough, and don't want to get depressed. I maned up and called her and left her a voice mail saying sorry, and what I did was messed up, and hoping we could get though it and that she could forgive me...and would understand if she needs time.

Her sister is p*ssed at me too called me a muffin top, fat fake broke(though I have a job and bought them stuff) b*tch, who smiles to faces and then talks sh!t.

I know good friends have conflict at times...I'm just not good with conflict and don't know how to deal with it alot. I feel like the older you get the harder it is to get over sh!t.

I don't want to be like this...but its hard to change and be a better person overnight. It just really sucks that I am like this...

Does anyone else have this problem? Or is anyone the oposite and naturally know how to handle their feelings and has stable friendships?

I really want to try to get through this with my friend...all I can do is try...And if I fail...I'll just have to move on...

Any Aries relate? I think part of this is the Saturn in Libra...Sterness in realtions with others...I think it includes friendships too. Last year this influence had me feel like I was walking on eggshells with everyone(co workers, higher ups, ex boy, guys, friends and familY)...it was a hard time! I feel like this placement is a tiny bit easyer now...I feel like there might be hope that this time we can heal.

Thanks for taking time to look at this.

Much love to lindalanders

Stawr

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Hi! I've been a member here for a little while, and I enjoy it. I pretty much come on here when ever I have lotsa down time, sometimes often, and other times its not for a while.
Rising: Gemini
Sun: Aries
Moon: Scorpio
Mercury: Taurus
Mars: Aqarius
Venus: Pisces
N. Node: Aquarius
Saturn: Capricorn
Juno: Scorpio
Eros: Pisces
True Lilith: Scorpio

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PlutoSquared
Knowflake

Posts: 4500
From: Mars
Registered: Aug 2010

posted March 14, 2011 12:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PlutoSquared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So, why are you afraid of conflict?

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 29224
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 14, 2011 07:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dear Stawr
Could write down the aspects you think relate to this?
I see a Scorpio moon right off which shows me you have intense emotions and tend to be suspicious.
A Scorpio moon is a challenge in the best of charts.
It is an entity unto itself and must be managed if one is to relate to others.
I will look at the other placements and share some ideas but please write down the relevant aspects .
I would like to see,in particular,aspects to the ASC,moon aspects, mars aspects ,Venus and Pluto.
Where is your Dejanaria ,too?
I am glad you shared cuz that is the first step to getting help

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Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs

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Stawr
Moderator

Posts: 1514
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010

posted March 14, 2011 10:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stawr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
okay I am going to try to post my chart (never tried though)

Hmmm I think I have issues with conflict cause it's awkward...I probably think disagreeing with someone and being up front will cause as much drama as it does when they find out you go behind their back. But it would just be easier and better if I was up front in the first place even if it is as bad of consequences at least that way I could say I was true to myself and that way I would have less guilt and shame...but I'm not use to it. (I've improved a tiny bit though...or so I thought)

Whatever happens I think that this drama with my friends happened to teach me a lesson, and will make me a little more mature the next time I'm in a situation like that again.(she got too drunk, and was out of it, and her sis had to go someplace I wanted her to go and have a good time, cause what she had to do sounded really cool. but the one that drank too much meets dudes online and she had this guy come from out of state with her...so I promised her sis that I would make sure the guy didn't take advantage. So I was sitting in a dark room making sure the guy didn't pull any funny business. For an hour I just sat there...all I had was my phone. I mean I did it cause I'm a good person and its the right thing to do and that's what friends are for...but I mean come on that does suck. I had a long week and just wanted to have a good time and relax...Since I was sitting in the dark watching them, with only my phone to occupy me...I sent vent texts to my mom and I accidentally sent one to her. I feel like a drunk idiot, I did have two mikes hard that night I don't drink that often)

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Stawr
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Posts: 1514
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010

posted March 14, 2011 11:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stawr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ok I went to paint to spray on paint some things out but I don't know how to copy and paste my chart on here...I think I'll keep trying to figure it out later...

I found out I have Dejanira 12 degrees in Aquarius...I'm not very good at interpreting charts on astro.com but it looks like it might Squaure my Mercury sign...and a few other things but I don't know what the symbols mean.

Major aspects
Sun Sextile Mars 1°22
Sun Square Saturn 2°33
Sun Square Neptune 7°48
Moon Opposition Mercury 7°10
Moon Square Mars 4°49
Moon Sextile Saturn 6°00
Moon Sextile Neptune 4°22
Moon Conjunction Pluto 1°52
Mercury Sextile Venus 5°20
Mercury Trine Uranus 2°10
Mercury Trine Neptune 2°49
Mercury Opposition Pluto 5°18 Venus Trine Jupiter 2°17
Venus Sextile Uranus 3°10
Venus Square Ascendant 5°34
Jupiter Opposition Uranus 5°27
Uranus Conjunction Neptune 4°59
Uranus Quincunx Ascendant 2°24
Neptune Sextile Pluto 2°30
Neptune Quincunx Ascendant 2°35

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 29224
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 14, 2011 11:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I will come back later and look. I see strong Scorpio, Pisces and Aries.
With which of these are you most comfortable?
With which, least?

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Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs

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Stawr
Moderator

Posts: 1514
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010

posted March 14, 2011 01:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stawr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hmmm I would have to say that my Aries or Pisces is what I feel most comfortible. Or that side of me is what I feel is socialy aceptable to society anyway and will get me far...ya know the "I'm nice!(Pisces)And I can do anything!(Aries)"
And my Scorpio side...Is beneath the surface...I feel like I have to put those intence complex emotions under a rug. Definetly doesn't make them disapear. And will share how I really feel with those I trust the most.
I feel like I have anger issues...but I don't really act out on them always...making me think I have hidden anger issues...and wonder if that counts as needing anger management...this experience makes me want to seek help...So I don't have to loose another friend due to me expressing my feelings the wrong way. Or maybe see a counsler every other week...or maybe I could read like some kind or doctor Phil book or something. lol

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 29224
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 14, 2011 03:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
OK Stawr
My assumption was right lol
You have conflicting parts of your chart. The one you pushed down is making your problems.
I am getting good

I know cuz I have the same thing. I have Gemini, Cancer and Scorpio.
The Scorpio is my killer like it is yours lol

------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs

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NickiG
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Posts: 5583
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010

posted March 14, 2011 03:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NickiG     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i think its what ami said, that scorpio moon is a really hard placement for moon...i also have a habit of talking crap about people behind their backs, but a lot of it i dont mean and they never hear about what i say, but the closer a friend is to me and the more respect i have for them the less likely i am to not talk crap....but i think i got that habit from my mother who is a scorpio moon....she talks bad crap about people and because of her aqua sun she has no really close friends and the closer people are to her the more she talks crap behind their backs

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What happens on Venus stays on Venus

-Nasa

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 29224
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 14, 2011 03:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Come on Astro 2 and read my threads about Scorpio.
I have Scorpio ASC, an 8th house stellium and Pluto conjunct the MC.
I am NOT comfortable with Scorpio.
In fact, I am very,very uncomfortable with it.
My current struggle is to get comfortable with it.
It is a very powerful energy.If not expressed directly, it will turn inward in a bad way.
It MUST be accessed for one to have a balanced life

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Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 29224
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 14, 2011 03:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I will come back and check out your aspects ,later

------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 29224
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 14, 2011 03:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by NickiG:
i think its what ami said, that scorpio moon is a really hard placement for moon...i also have a habit of talking crap about people behind their backs, but a lot of it i dont mean and they never hear about what i say, but the closer a friend is to me and the more respect i have for them the less likely i am to not talk crap....but i think i got that habit from my mother who is a scorpio moon....she talks bad crap about people and because of her aqua sun she has no really close friends and the closer people are to her the more she talks crap behind their backs


------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 29224
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 14, 2011 03:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
dp

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 14, 2011 04:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Rising: Gemini
Sun: Aries
Moon: Scorpio
Mercury: Taurus
Mars: Aqarius
Venus: Pisces
N. Node: Aquarius
Saturn: Capricorn
Juno: Scorpio
Eros: Pisces
True Lilith: Scorpio


Just looking at at these alone, I can see contradictions.
Your ASC is Gemini,social, fun loving,light, butterfly like lol

Sun in Aries is direct,blunt, assertive

Moon in Scorpio is VERY different from these.

It demands a whole new range of feelings and ways of being in the world.

Your Venus is a whole different animal.

Venus in Pisces is romantic and trusting.
Moon in Scorpio is suspicious and intense.

THIS could be your issue.
What do you think?

------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 29224
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 14, 2011 04:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Your Venus wants everything to be like a romantic musical.
Your Moon is like Al Pacino in the Godfather.
Your Sun is like "I will assert myself.I don't care what you think"

lol

------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs

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TxGirl
Knowflake

Posts: 257
From:
Registered: Feb 2011

posted March 14, 2011 04:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for TxGirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Nevermind I'm sure Ami will guide you in the right direction.

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 29224
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 14, 2011 04:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
To me Tx Girl
That is not helpful at all. I think it is dismissive of her very REAL request for help.
That is ME, though.
*I* would not like that answer at all if I was in her situation.
I don't fight ,though, so I have nothing more to say about it.
I will continue looking at her chart and dialoging with her for MY part in it.
If she cares to talk to YOU, that is her issue.

------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs

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TxGirl
Knowflake

Posts: 257
From:
Registered: Feb 2011

posted March 14, 2011 04:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for TxGirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ami, thank you for non constructive reply on my reply to her. But, I disagree or else I would not had written it. I SEE that you do disagree with people and say you wont fight yet you find pleasure in acting high and mighty.

I was simply putting in my 2 cents, and luckily it was not for you. Maybe she can find something good in it.

I stay away from you as much as possible for good reason, Ami. Also, please don't hijack her thread to "not fight" or be rude to me. It's very unbecoming. And, I will not be replying to you again if you feel the need to have the last word, here's your soapbox.

Be blessed, both of you.

PS: Sorry stawr that I posted this in your thread. I generally am not that impolite. And if my feedback did not help, I hope you find some that is!

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NickiG
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Posts: 5583
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010

posted March 14, 2011 04:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NickiG     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
TxGirl, you realize it was me that said my mother talks about others and not Stawr, right? and its not like i talk about EVERYONE, just the ones that are trailer trash, and trust me, they are trailer trash, much lower on the food chain as you round about put it....sorry if i feel defensive, but i dont talk about people because of my own issues, as i said, its habit....people can talk about people just out of habit and not out of their own issues

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What happens on Venus stays on Venus

-Nasa

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TxGirl
Knowflake

Posts: 257
From:
Registered: Feb 2011

posted March 14, 2011 04:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for TxGirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Nicki I did not see that. And please don't take all of that towards you because of one line. I will delete it since, honesty is apparently bad in the world.

PS: I was saying maybe those were reasons for it. Habits can be changed though.

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NickiG
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Posts: 5583
From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann
Registered: Jul 2010

posted March 14, 2011 05:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NickiG     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
no hard feelings, sorry for being so defensive....there is one person in particular that i think of when it comes to this topic...she always be bitchin at me for supposedly not cleaning but she never cleans so her house is super nasty, so yea, i talk crap about her, lol

------------------
What happens on Venus stays on Venus

-Nasa

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 29224
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 14, 2011 05:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Of all the subjects I have studied in school,only two have stood me in good stead--Social Psychology and Logic

------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 29224
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 14, 2011 05:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by NickiG:
no hard feelings, sorry for being so defensive....there is one person in particular that i think of when it comes to this topic...she always be bitchin at me for supposedly not cleaning but she never cleans so her house is super nasty, so yea, i talk crap about her, lol


YOU don't have to be perfect.

------------------
Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs

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Stawr
Moderator

Posts: 1514
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010

posted March 14, 2011 07:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stawr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dang, what did I miss!? lol
But yeah my combo of placements are strange ones...with all that going on underneath the surface, I feel like with my rising sign, I have more than twins on my hands. Like both my twins of my rising sign's twins are Geminis too!(another set of twins!)

But yes my Scorpio placements...make me feel like I have this villianess inside me that I try to keep shut up. And a villian will plot a way to break out and cause trouble.

Also my mom and dad avoid conflict. Some parents set an example to kids not to take anyone's sh!t...While others show there kids how to be calm yet direct.

I feel like I wouldn't need to vent in bad ways if I knew how to resolve conflict better.

My friend that I hurt, I really never talked smack about her...but that night I was so edgey, and psycho, and passive, pmsing, and had some alcohol in my system. I say alot of good things about her to others.
The ones I trust that I'm cool with I am more likely to say good things about them behind their back. But yeah if someone is getting on my nerves I will need to vent.

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Stawr
Moderator

Posts: 1514
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010

posted March 14, 2011 07:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stawr     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"It is a very powerful energy.If not expressed directly, it will turn inward in a bad way.
It MUST be accessed for one to have a balanced life"
Yes! I find that to be true and I really relate to that.

I think I have the issue where I bottle up certain emotions til there is no room, and out of nowhere I can get nasty.

I'll admit I've come a long way but I still have a long way to go. *sigh*

Yes... how do you ballance Scorpio placements?, is the riddle... Makes me wish I had more Libra in my chart at times.


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