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Author
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Topic: Would You Rather Have Numbness or Pain?
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Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 37417
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 08, 2011 12:09 PM
  
I mean, emotional.------------------
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http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9742
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 08, 2011 01:43 PM
The emotional pain and numbness alternate and or overlay each other.
They both leave me unable to deal with things well or even talk about things or find the optimism and energy to even try >again<
because experience to date has taught me it/things will fail no matter how hard I try or do, or how good,
so why bother.
I just want to hibernate and sleep until things improve
or if not..............PS.
Yes I am still uber gloomy.
I use the 24 hour rule to keep from offing myself.
I must wait 24 hours before doing so when in a gloom and ready to do it. And this quote says it well:
quote:
The thought of suicide is a powerful solace: by means of it one gets through many a bad night.
~Friedrich Nietzsche
And some 90% of my nights are bad.
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I must perhaps resign myself to having only stolen and brief tastes of happiness,
for it appears that I may never be invited to the feasts.
~LEXXThe mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind.
~Henry David Thoreau IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9742
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 08, 2011 02:01 PM
Numb is more dangerous I think.
How I see its stages:
1.
emotional pain/turmoil
2.
numbness
3.
apathy
4.
resignation
5.
uber recluse/agoraphobic
6.
suicide ------------------
I must perhaps resign myself to having only stolen and brief tastes of happiness,
for it appears that I may never be invited to the feasts.
~LEXX The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind.
~Henry David Thoreau IP: Logged |
Alma Sun
Moderator Posts: 1973
From: The East Coast
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted December 08, 2011 02:35 PM
I'd rather have pain. I was numbed by an anti-depressant in my teen years (maybe the dosage was too high? After all, it wasn't prescribed for me..) and it was the most emptying feeling of all. Pain (emotional) isn't so bad as feeling nothing at all. ------------------
"I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else." ― G.K. Chesterton IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 37417
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 08, 2011 04:45 PM
I have given in to pain instead of numbness. It feels much better. I can, actually, feel "myself", if you know what I mean and I am sure you do!------------------
Want a peek in to my journal?
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9742
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 08, 2011 05:24 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I have given in to pain instead of numbness. It feels much better. I can, actually, feel "myself", if you know what I mean and I am sure you do!
Yes,
pain is the lesser of the two evils so to speak.
Trouble is;
the emotional and the physical pain has gone on too long.
In the past two years it has all become worse.
So both emotional numbness(and incurable physical numbness episodes/and some permanent, in various parts), zombie, stare off into space, lost, defeated, etc., has taken deep root.
Oh yes, there are joys, but very short lived bursts of such,
then wham, as always the "shoes drop" one way or other and my future barring a real series of miracles, looks grim and unrewarding.
I shall keep employing the 24 hour no rash actions,
force myself to keep posting,
because I feel if I bail,
folks will be angry with me,
feel I let them down in some way.
But I am so damn exhausted and emotionally/psychologically drained most of the time.
On that note,
going to go pull my emotion chip out for awhile, stare, sleep, zone, bleh.
IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 37417
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 08, 2011 07:16 PM
Actually, the pain is a relief. My heart feels like it is literally broken.It hurts like a fire but I can feel who I am, more.------------------
Want a peek in to my journal?
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9742
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 08, 2011 08:43 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Actually, the pain is a relief. My heart feels like it is literally broken.It hurts like a fire but I can feel who I am, more.
Yes,
but only if one is not continuing to be bombarded by the pain and given no time or time out to heal or at least scar.  IP: Logged |
Voix_de_la_Mer
Knowflake Posts: 671
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted December 09, 2011 05:57 AM
Because of my condition, I often automatically click into numbness (dissociation) when pain gets overwhelming.I make the most progress toward healing through the pain though.
When I see it to the end, which I can do if it doesn't overwhelm me, I can close the wound and reconcile. At the same time though, the numbness is a cognitive protective mechanism. If it doesn't click in, which it sometimes doesn't, I spiral into meltdown and end up ruining my life. This has happened several times throughout my life. The numbness can also lead me to harming myself just to feel something. So, it's a catch-22 really. (P.S. Ami, without publicly going into detail, I would like to apologise for my response on your other thread. I had no business saying what I did in that circumstance. I am sorry.) IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 37417
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 09, 2011 08:43 AM
Accepted Voix------------------
Want a peek in to my journal?
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 37417
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 09, 2011 08:46 AM
Here is my current state with this. When I allow pain in, which I have, I need someone to whom I can be totally real, no masks, no hiding. Then, I can cry and the pain will go away. Then, the cycle needs to build up, again. Each time, I empty out trauma, permanently, though. Read the book Cure By Crying by Stone if you are interested in the process.
------------------
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http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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teasel
Knowflake Posts: 4813
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 09, 2011 09:18 AM
Neither, I've had well enough of both. I've been ready to experience "happy" for a good while now.IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9742
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 09, 2011 10:41 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I need someone to whom I can be totally real, no masks, no hiding. Then, I can cry and the pain will go away. <<<<<<<<<<<<<
Exactly.
Hard to find that though when trust is not there and or one has gone into their dismal/numb avoidance place.
And what if the problem(s) is/are not able to be resolved ever?
Or resolved (if possible?)
anytime soon?
What then?
IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9742
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 09, 2011 10:42 AM
quote:
Originally posted by teasel:
Neither, I've had well enough of both. I've been ready to experience "happy" for a good while now.
Me too dear teasel. {{{hugs}}}IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 37417
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 09, 2011 12:43 PM
quote:
Originally posted by LEXX:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Ami Anne:
[b] >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I need someone to whom I can be totally real, no masks, no hiding. Then, I can cry and the pain will go away. <<<<<<<<<<<<<
Exactly.
Hard to find that though when trust is not there and or one has gone into their dismal/numb avoidance place.
And what if the problem(s) is/are not able to be resolved ever?
Or resolved (if possible?)
anytime soon?
What then?
[/B][/QUOTE] Yes, that very rare person is a gift from God. Alice Miller would call it an Enlightened Witness. I have one, now. It just happened, as these things must. Once can't force them. ------------------
Want a peek in to my journal?
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
SensibleHeart
Knowflake Posts: 131
From:
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted January 16, 2012 12:20 AM
pain. i feel like numbness is just suspended animation; like, akin to procrastination.IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 4366
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted January 18, 2012 06:23 PM
--IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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