posted January 10, 2012 09:04 AM            

How many are virgins because of religious beliefs and how many are virgins because of personal convictions?

I have this feeling that this will be a rather short conversation.

posted January 10, 2012 10:00 AM            

It wasn't out of any deep conviction, though - I'm just rather oblivious

posted January 10, 2012 10:53 AM            

It's a complicated issue.

I can say that I felt like quite the oddball as a 21-year-old virgin - and even as an 18-year-old virgin (and that was a decade+ ago). If anything, the "hook-up" culture has gotten more intense. It can be easy to feel like you're being left out of something integral to your generation's experience.

If she's regretting not being a virgin, I'd say that it's more important to be careful and considerate with partners than to regret.

posted January 10, 2012 11:29 AM            

I'd imagine that the default stance would be, "You don't know what young men are like - I do. Be careful!"

posted January 10, 2012 04:35 PM            

However, religion was always a non issue to me (and I've always felt sorry for girls who get confused by religion to think of sex and masturbation as the same thing and feel guilty for it) and my personal conviction was to learn,grow, and become more adult, so if anything my conviction led me to explore sex when I was ready for it.

posted January 12, 2012 11:21 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I'm still a virgin.

I do believe in waiting for marriage. It is partly spiritual, partly practical, and partly idealistic.

If people judge me for it, that's on them, not me.

I have to live the life that's best for me.

There's nothing to be ashamed about in being a virgin or celibate.

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posted January 12, 2012 11:25 AM            

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I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate?

posted January 12, 2012 07:21 PM            

quote:

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Virginity is not a sign of dignity; it is a lack of opportunity.

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posted January 12, 2012 07:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Frozen Queen:
Virginity is not a sign of dignity; it is a lack of opportunity.

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posted January 12, 2012 10:05 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted January 12, 2012 11:27 PM            

Another real danger is because many girls (and I presume guys to a lesser extent) feel guilty for even having sexual feelings (IIRC, they actually believe they're guilty of a sin simply by wanting to do it rather than by their actions), plenty have married way too early so that they could have sex only to find they made a terrible mistake and that their god didn't take away certain desires that they thought would go away with marriage, which can be terribly disillusioning and worse for them. This is often compounded by getting pregnant with children they're not prepared for (who in turn will likely have a hard time because of it).

From what I hear it's not restricted to East Texas. And I hear that despite how zealously self-righteous many Caribbean places are against gays for religious reasons (even mobbing and lynching them) even they dismiss casual (heterosexual) sex as the "Caribbean way" or some such despite their heavy religious emphasis.

posted January 13, 2012 12:04 AM            

I had the opportunity to lose it a month ago but I had this feeling that I shouldn't so I didn't and then I found out the guy did not want a relationship, so I spared myself a whole heap of angst. I still have it, but only over the fact every time I find somebody I like it doesn't work out.

Is it just me or is there a massive stigma against virgins now, I feel like I will get mocked because of it but if I slept with 100 guys it would be fine.

posted January 13, 2012 12:16 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LEXX:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Frozen Queen:
Virginity is not a sign of dignity; it is a lack of opportunity.

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quote:

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Not always true.
I knew/know of lots of folks who had/have many opportunities.
Just because one chooses to not "do it"
does not make them a loser with no opportunities.
I wish I could have been spared rapes and the over abundance of opportunities for meaningless sex.

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I agree here, I don't want meaningless sex.

Plus some of us are introverts, socially awkward and have social anxiety issues which make meeting people exceedingly difficult.

Introverts have feelings too you know.

posted January 13, 2012 12:52 AM            

quote:

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Is it just me or is there a massive stigma against virgins now, I feel like I will get mocked because of it but if I slept with 100 guys it would be fine.

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I haven't noticed any massive stigma against being a virgin, at least not for kids. Girls especially are just as judgmental now as when I was growing up, so it's easy to be thought of as a **** for even the dumbest reason and something many girls strive to avoid (even if boys don't). Many popular Disney stars, including boys, wear purity rings which symbolize their intent to remain virgins until married. An adult comedian made fun of one of the Jo Bros for it on MTV but ended up apologizing for it due to the backlash he got over it. Justin Bieber has at least insinuated (he can be unclear) that he intends to wait for marriage before having sex and look how popular he is. (Granted, the gossip rags are saying Selena Gomez has removed her purity ring for him, but I've learned not to pay them any attention.)

I think it can be seen more harshly among adults (and plenty of men hate themselves for being virgins, though this is typically for lack of opportunity than personal choice) but I think the only "massive" stigma is for asexuals and those who choose to be celibate for life (as opposed to celibate until marriage), clergy and religious orders excepted.

Obviously, location is also going to make a difference no matter your age.