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Author
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Topic: "Going Steady" and its pitfalls
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amowls**
Knowflake Posts: 1087
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted January 16, 2012 01:16 AM
  
THIS: http://i.imgur.com/tlvxK.jpg was an actual letter sent home when it was discovered two teens were seeing each other exclusively in 1965 at a Catholic high school. I just wanted to know what ya'll think.Isn't it funny the things adults wring their hands over when it comes to teenagers  IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Knowflake Posts: 1301
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted January 18, 2012 06:30 PM
It makes me laugh because one would think (or at least I would think) that a parent would rather see their teen in a committed, stable, and caring relationship as opposed to just playing the field. Being in a long-term relationship--"going steady"--also helps people learn how to work out problems in a relationship and settle conflicts amicably; not that all teen relationships lead to marriage, but I do think that this gives the teen some skills and lessons here in learning to compromise and negotiate but without self-betrayal.I also had to laugh about the moral judgments made about people who "go steady" and about how they are "ill-prepared for marriage". I would think that it would be the opposite: that those who experience caring, mutually respectful relationships would make better marriage partners later on. The whole concept of having to sample different personality types and that knowing this helped make a better choice as to a marriage partner made little sense to me. It really annoyed me that "going steady" was seen as "selfish". Wouldn't it be more selfish to just go and hook up with random people and be the heart-breaker/player type? Half of me laughs at the stupidity; the other half of me cringes. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 185
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted January 18, 2012 10:39 PM
I've noticed that a lot of people with selfish demands like to call others selfish for not giving in to those demands (including in living according to the accuser's beliefs as they become acutely uncomfortable by people who have another view). It's kinda like a racist calling people who stand up to him a racist or the intolerant calling those who won't let them impose their intolerance on society as intolerant, or (the one that bugs me the most) the ones who project their own lusts into those they lust after and blame them for "leading them on" (even if it's all 10-year-olds, and I did meet one guy like that who was surprised and angry I didn't believe him that this age demographic of girls were trying to seduce him and couldn't see the insanity in claiming that no other age demographic was trying to seduce him as well, only 10-year-olds). Interesting enough, I think the people who project like that actually believe it, but then projection IS a psychological defense mechanism for not having to acknowledge one's own nastiness by projecting it into others instead, and it wouldn't work if the one projecting realized they were the ones actually being selfish (or whatever). ETA: I'm not sure it's projection in this case, however. The entire letter (which looks more like something from a rule book of some kind) is engineered to control by shame and fear. That alone would have me keep any kids in my care out of their school, though their amazing leaps of "logic" would seal the deal. I wouldn't want adults who fail at critical thinking that badly to be educating any child in my care. IP: Logged |
amowls**
Knowflake Posts: 1087
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted January 19, 2012 12:41 AM
I think there are plenty of pros to dating around before settlig down because yes, you DO know what you want becauseyou've experienced it. You may think you want something but then once you've experienced it, you realize it's not that great.Trading one extreme for the other isn't good. IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Knowflake Posts: 1301
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted January 19, 2012 03:52 AM
quote:
Originally posted by amowls**:
I think there are plenty of pros to dating around before settlig down because yes, you DO know what you want becauseyou've experienced it. You may think you want something but then once you've experienced it, you realize it's not that great.Trading one extreme for the other isn't good.
Hm, good point. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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