posted January 16, 2012 03:23 PM            

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I'll keep saying it: Way too many women don't know the difference between being strong and being an @ssh0le. Women who are @ssh0les under the pretense of being strong, or being "catty" to other women under the pretense of being straightforward; women who say "I'm not a feminist". Gossips. Liars. Cliques of gossips and liars.

Taking a stand and out-arguing involves using facts and being principled. Interrupting, attacking, using generalities, wandering from the subject, manipulating and shouting down isn't out-arguing someone; it's out-@ssh0ling someone.

Thinking clearly and challenging yourself to be reasonable, and speaking bluntly, while knowing the difference between a fact and YOUR emotional reactions and opinions, is strong. Letting your hatred and jealousy spew all over someone isn't strong, it's infantile.

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The same applies to men as well

posted January 16, 2012 03:31 PM            

“A lot of young girls think that the opposite of fake is rudeness. And just as ugly as fake is, so is saying whatever is on your mind because it's the truth.” ― Tyra Banks

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"The better you feel about yourself, the less you feel the need to show off." — Robert Hand

posted January 17, 2012 06:32 AM            

it used to make me so angry, i'd lash out at them now i just laugh it off

posted January 17, 2012 06:38 AM            

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Originally posted by Venus:
ughh i agree 100% with all you gals..

it used to make me so angry, i'd lash out at them now i just laugh it off

u have no idea how many times i've heard the cynical "im not a feminist" phrase, they dont even know what feminism is!!

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not to mention that there are different schools of feminism, so two people can both identify as 'feminist' yet have different beliefs; there isn't just one single definition

posted January 18, 2012 05:08 AM            

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Originally posted by Venus:
^precisely, they would say i'm not a feminist i dont hate men, and that alone would drive me insaaaane.. woman who told you feminists hate men go read a d@mn book!!

btw, just came to my mind, the most anti-feminist quote in the world is a french one " sois belle et tais toi" seriously?! God bless the french

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I know, right?!

I hate the whole idea of "feminism = man-hating". Yes, SOME schools of it are that way, but most feminists who I personally know (as well as myself) most definitely do like men and simply want equality/for men and women to work together and also for mistreatment of women to stop.

It doesn't make sense to hate ALL men. Yes, the bad ones, but not ALL. After all, (a) hating roughly 1/2 of the population is not going to be conducive to your cause and (b) there are men out there who really love, respect, and support women, and who want to lift them up rather than tear them down. There are also women who tear down other women. It's not as simple as women-good, men-bad, or women-friends, men-enemies. I think, too, that women who alienate men or hate all men often worsen the problem through their hate; if you want to improve relationships between any two groups, hating the person on the 'other side' isn't going to do it: you have to work with the person to achieve that.

posted January 18, 2012 06:25 AM            

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Originally posted by Venus:
^RP check this topic http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum30/HTML/000007.html

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posted January 19, 2012 12:45 AM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Another misconception is that only women can be feminists. Not only are there men who identify as feminist, but some are even frequently quoted and recommended authors, such as Jean Markale (particularly his Women of the Celts), John Stuart Mill (particularly “The Subjection of Women”), and Robert Graves (who was also married to a feminist activist).

I also get tired of people who go out of their way to find the most extremist fringe feminism (such as lesbian separatism) and then pass it off as mainstream. They MUST know they're lying when they do this, though I get the impression that they really believe every self-identified feminist reverently keeps a copy of the SCUM Manifesto (and if that were true then we'd already be living in a gynarky anyway where he wouldn't dare whine about it ).

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posted January 19, 2012 12:50 AM            

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Originally posted by teasel:
*Hides SCUM Manifesto under bed*

Yeah, I know what you mean. They can't seem to see how a woman could both love (good) men, and stand for equal rights.

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posted January 19, 2012 03:38 AM            

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Originally posted by LEXX:
A true feminist need not hate men.
She KNOWS there are good men!
She also knows that there are "scum of the earth" sexist women out there too, the true man haters.
Lesbians do not hate men.
They simply do not desire them sexually.
And those women who do hate all men, well then they are sexist, not liberated feminists.

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posted January 19, 2012 03:42 AM            

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Originally posted by LEXX:
Oh yes men can be feminists too!
It is about rights!
And even a guy's right to explore his fem or even just a gentler side and not have to act like a macho turkey strutting jerk to try and prove he is a "real man".
And that right is for hetero men too, not just gay/bi men!
Being a real man does not mean a man has to wear short hair, be a beer swilling swaggering bragging ugh ugh oook oook sex pig.

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again, very well-said!

And another example from history would be male suffragists in the US (for those outside the US, women were officially given the right to vote in 1920 with the 19th amendment to the US Constitution). If it wasn't for their support and their votes, women wouldn't have been able to get the right to vote. I'm grateful to those men, who obviously died long before I was ever even born, because they impacted my own life for the better without evening knowing it.

posted January 19, 2012 03:48 AM            

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Originally posted by teasel:
*Hides SCUM Manifesto under bed*

Yeah, I know what you mean. They can't seem to see how a woman could both love (good) men, and stand for equal rights.

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The other thing too is that men don't seem to realize that SOME kinds of feminism could actually benefit them. If, for example, women are given equal pay, hello, any man who lives with a woman who is working in an occupation affected by that raise in pay is going to have more money around the house. Even if they have their own accounts, that still means nicer things around or more in the bank for a rainy day. That's one example that comes immediately to mind. Another would be that if women are allowed to be in jobs like construction, police work, firefighting, the military, politics, etc., then men who wanted to be teachers, nurses, counselors, or work with fashion or clothing could do that with less stigma.

posted January 19, 2012 11:17 AM            

Same is the case with immature "girls".

If you are going to go through your life with a high school clique mentality and judge people on their outer appearances, I am not going to respect you. I will respect your rights as a human being but I will not respect You.

For me it's simple logic. If you are unable to recognise your flaws and work on them, you're not worth my time. I'm not biased against people with flaws but as I stated in another thread, your flaws don't give you an excuse to act like an @ss.

I've known people who use their disability as a crutch to justify their behaviour and I've known those who overcome it. My allegiance and respect is for the latter.

posted January 24, 2012 09:09 AM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:

I also hate it when people make excuses for a person's bad behavior. *** 's one thing to explain the reason why someone acts a certain way, but it's different to use it as an acceptable excuse or a carte blanche.

**

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Your post also reminded me of women who dealt with men being inappropriate, such as the one I mentioned in my post, and ended up punishing the woman for the unwanted attention that they'd received from that man.

I've been there with my sister, of all people. I won't go there again. Any "blame" lies with the man, not me. If that woman lets her boyfriend's behaviour affect her view of me, then she isn't the woman I thought she was.