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Author
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Topic: I give...
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Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 5365
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted January 17, 2012 08:27 PM
  
IDk what to say... I cant even go into the details right now. But something happen at work today.....I have decided to walk away from fishy... For good.. Its going to be a mental battle for me, but its for the best... I wont answer his calls, and I think Im going to have to change my number..
I dont want to talk or see him.... Im not going to say anything to him at all.. Just let it be, and walk away with my head held high....
Im walking away with my dignity and thats what matters the most... Excuse me for a few days, while I deal.. Its going to be rough.. But hey I can do it.. I think I can... I think I can ...
chooo chew!!! I dont know how, he's going to take it... Something tells me, this is going to get ugly... 
Just wanted to let everyone know...
IP: Logged |
RedScorp
Knowflake Posts: 3766
From: GMT-5
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted January 17, 2012 08:37 PM
Gasp!IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 4435
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 17, 2012 08:42 PM
i'm sorry ,what happened?IP: Logged |
LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9742
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 17, 2012 11:05 PM
Please update us when you can.
{{{hugs}}}IP: Logged |
charmainec
Moderator Posts: 5577
From: Venus next to Randall
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 18, 2012 02:28 AM
I am sorry you're hurting. Wishing you strength during this time.  ------------------
quote:
Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma.
Linda GoodmanIP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 4366
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted January 18, 2012 03:43 AM
Lionness, so sorry that things aren't going well for you. Stay strong and keep yourself well. Take care and know that you will be missed, and that we'll be glad to welcome you back if and when the time is right.
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anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 4557
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted January 18, 2012 06:51 AM
Sounds like he hit the Lioness pride the bad way? I hope you do not walk away from work due to this guy though. Ah, I wish I was there for you physically now.... Keep us posted how you're doing, Lioness, and know that I BELIEVE YOU CAN DO IT. You are a Lioness; of course you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to.  IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 5365
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted January 18, 2012 10:01 PM
Ok Im here... So I told him today..
It GOT Fu-----UGGLY!!!!!I spent the entire night last night in tears... Forcing myself to do whats best... So today I ended it... I told him.. What I needed to say.. Let me tell you I feel like a MILLION DOLLARS!! I won I won I won..... This huge weight is lifted off my chest.. I dont feel bad, or guilty... I feel like I won... I beat him... For the most part, his only response was THEN WALK AWAY!! walk away... walk away.. walk away....
Thats all he could say...
No I didnt quit my job... I wouldnt do! He's going to have to suffer and see me EVERY SINGLE FLIPPIN DAY!!!
HAHAHAHAHAH
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littlecloud
Moderator Posts: 1484
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted January 24, 2012 01:44 PM
I am dying with curiosity!!!
WTH happened?
Everything sounded so great!!! I was rooting for you guys!!! Now I'm IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 8745
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 25, 2012 07:37 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Lioness:
Let me tell you I feel like a MILLION DOLLARS!! I won I won I won.....
 is all I can say.
Great feeling.
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LEXX
Knowflake Posts: 9742
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 25, 2012 07:45 PM
 {{{hugs}}}IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 5365
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted January 26, 2012 11:59 PM
Well we had or argument... What a week ago.. We stopped talking... Today we talked.. We said our good bye's. We said we can never let it be.. We said we are no good for each other... blah blah... It was very touching.. I was in total tears the entire time... Agreeing with everything, and admitting its all true, we are no good together.... We agreed to just let it be... So thats that.. right??????
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
. .
.
.
. Well nooo, afterwards we started talking again like nothing had happen..
We ended up talking for 3 hours...
IDK if this was part of the good bye or what...
Its all very confusing..
I have such mixed emotions..
Yes I want to , no I dont... Yes I can, no I cant...
I really want to get away from this, but I dont think its possible... Its really frustrating..
I wish I could just stick with one thing or another.....
Im at a total loss....
Im really starting to feel that there is no getting away from this...
No matter what we say or do, we just cant stop talking.. (moon/pluto) I guess Im going to have to accept that.. IP: Logged |
mercuranian
Knowflake Posts: 684
From: the future
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 27, 2012 02:51 PM
with plutonian relationships, distance (out of sight), and time, are the only way to break the shackles. IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 4557
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted January 27, 2012 06:23 PM
Lioness, oh, I understand now.....
You are being a bit more clear now.
Now I can see the "I won" feeling from earlier and the confusion of later.
Not that it matters what I see or think. I just wanted to say I feel for you. I got it how it must be like.
Btw, are you the Moon or are you Pluto in this little junction?
As a Pisces he must be in with both feet and his head and heart. Poor guy.
But I can see your part isn't pretty either.
Are you sure you cannot just be together?
What creates the most major obstacle? IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 5365
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted January 27, 2012 09:39 PM
quote:
Originally posted by mercuranian:
with plutonian relationships, distance (out of sight), and time, are the only way to break the shackles.
 Euhhh.. Thats the worst possible answer.... We work together, so I see him just about every day... IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 5365
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted January 27, 2012 09:55 PM
quote:
Originally posted by anongrl10:
Lioness, oh, I understand now.....
You are being a bit more clear now.
Now I can see the "I won" feeling from earlier and the confusion of later.
Not that it matters what I see or think. I just wanted to say I feel for you. I got it how it must be like.
Btw, are you the Moon or are you Pluto in this little junction?
As a Pisces he must be in with both feet and his head and heart. Poor guy.
But I can see your part isn't pretty either.
Are you sure you cannot just be together?
What creates the most major obstacle?
Im sorry if I confused you, yes my feelings keep changing.. I know this, but its that hot/cold feelings.. Then throw in Uranus and Im otta there... But Pluto keeps me going back.. In synastry we have DW moon sextile pluto, in the composite we have moon conjunct pluto which both opps venus... Since we see each other everyday, the composite is in full force (my guessing)
Sometimes I have to take a day off, just to get away from "pluto"
When Im home, its better.. I dont feel it as much.. Its easier to work with especially if we are not talking.. But at work when I see him, its pure torture... Its hard to get a grip on it.. As for us.. IDK hon.... We both have some anger issues of our own to deal with, but combined together with each other... especially with the level of intensity.. Its scary...
When the anger hits hard it will be an all out war... Someones leaving in a ambulance (him.... him...him...) lol Dont worry about him... LOL.... He has the power and the control... He's good... So I guess we are still talking.. but Im going to make it a point to not talk as much, and to keep it a bit more mellow....
MAybe we will just wein ourselves away from the other... Im just going to take one day at a time, and TRY to keep it more casual with us.. Imagine we are not even having sex or being intimate in any way, and its this way... We both just know if we do, its going to get worse ...I think bad pluto will really show its head So we are holding back..
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mercuranian
Knowflake Posts: 684
From: the future
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 27, 2012 10:36 PM
Sorry. It's the ONLY answer. (Speaking from experience, and much research). IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 5365
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted January 27, 2012 10:43 PM
quote:
Originally posted by mercuranian:
Sorry. It's the ONLY answer. (Speaking from experience, and much research).
LOL... no worries... I was just afraid of an answer like that.... SO far I havent been able to break this, but I have no choice but to see him often.. So I guess that explains it.. IP: Logged |
mercuranian
Knowflake Posts: 684
From: the future
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 27, 2012 11:06 PM
i know  IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 4557
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted January 28, 2012 06:45 AM
Sometimes, anger issues can be healed in a loving relationship. What if the solution is the opposite of holding back? You know how sometimes the only way out is the way through?
Since life/work has brought you in daily contact, the Plutonic obsession won't subside. I doubt you can keep it mellow. That's Pluto we're taking about. LOL
Perhaps resolve to go for it with whatever consequences and hoping you will come out to completely free yourself.
Does this make any sense? Sending hugs and IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 5365
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted January 29, 2012 12:55 AM
quote:
Originally posted by anongrl10:
Sometimes, anger issues can be healed in a loving relationship. What if the solution is the opposite of holding back? You know how sometimes the only way out is the way through?
Since life/work has brought you in daily contact, the Plutonic obsession won't subside. I doubt you can keep it mellow. That's Pluto we're taking about. LOL
Perhaps resolve to go for it with whatever consequences and hoping you will come out to completely free yourself.
Does this make any sense? Sending hugs and
Thanks...
One day at a time... One day at a time...
I guess this will play out the way its meant to.
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StelliumH6
Knowflake Posts: 351
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted January 29, 2012 09:01 PM
Dear Lioness, "It will play out how it is meant to be." I believe that as well.Would you say you are "thinking through" this love too much, or "feeling through" this love between you two? IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 5365
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted January 29, 2012 11:59 PM
quote:
Originally posted by StelliumH6:
Dear Lioness, "It will play out how it is meant to be." I believe that as well.Would you say you are "thinking through" this love too much, or "feeling through" this love between you two?
Well to be honest, I am swinging back in fourth between the two..
My heart says one, my head says another.
But I guess its something I have to deal with since I have SN in Can in H5.. NN in Cap in H11...
My feelings wants to stick it out, my logic says nawww girl let it all go.. Today I went and bought a hardcover notebook.. I wrote down 10 goals...
Im going to use "Pluto" to help with these goals, and make this my number one concentration...
Im going to use my "leo" to concentrate on me..
I will be putting all my energy and focus on achieving these goals... They are not "easy" goal... I really have to sit and think of ways to achieve them. With any luck I will get obsessed with getting my goals complete. 
===================
Note after we talked that night.. He called me a few hours later, asking if he can come over.. I replied... GN.... I havent heard from him since...
Tomorrow I will have to see him though.. SO lets just see how this plays out tomorrow... Im only going to think of today, and not worry about tomorrow.. I will worry about tomorrow............. tomorrow..
This is my new motto  IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 5365
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted January 30, 2012 08:50 PM
Well I have to admit.. Today was harsh on me... It took every ounce of strength inside me to not call him...
I saw the back of his head( ok.. ok to laugh) it just ripped me up...
It got so bad, I felt like I was going to loose it.. So I left work just so I could feel better..
Once I got home, it was better, I laid down for a bit. then started doing some things I need to do....
Then my phone rings and I look and its HIM!!
I answer..
He says why didnt you call me today??? I was expecting you to call me..
I just said, well I was catching up on some work... He said ooo.. He kept talking, but I was real quite, and would only answer with 1 word.. like yeah...
So then he said.. OK well Ill let you get back to what you were doing.. I said ok..
Sighhhhh....
I really really dont know how to get passed this..
I dont understand why this is so hard... It shouldnt be like this. IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 4557
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted February 01, 2012 12:26 PM
Lioness, sweetheart, if you would like people to offer their opinions and possibly help u solve this mystery, why don't you write the reason why your head says no.
All I see is you avoiding him and avoiding your feelings for him.
I don't see him doing anything wrong. Except, why didn't he come over when you said he could? Or did I not get that right?
I think with a Pisces it's always going to be some degree of head games. If you don't want the head games, tell him so. Ask him to be more open and honest and direct with you. If he can't do it, his loss. You gone.
As a Lioness yourself you relish in openness and honesty and directness! Fire signs can't do head games. It's such a waste of time for us. So from where I sit, these games are doing your little head in. So tell him, ask him to please be 100% up front and transparent if that is the issue. Don't perpetuate what makes u sick; you can't beat him on his (head) game(s). Your own game is being straightforward. So be so! See how it goes. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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