posted May 06, 2012 01:36 PM            

Your comments crack me up!

Re: "Who eats before a date?! lol"

posted May 06, 2012 10:13 PM            

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Originally posted by Randall:
I went out on a date in my pre-Charmaine days, and I planned everything out with back-ups also. I don't think guys get it that women want a mant to lead and that it's annoying for a guy to say, "Wherever you want to go." I also wanted something unique thrown in, so I had her help me decorate my Christmas tree. Haha! It was fun. But at dinner, I told her to get anything she wanted, and all she ordered was a burger! Didn't know how to interpret that.

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If I ordered a cheeseburger, it would only be for 1 of 2 reasons...

1. I wanted to eat a cheeseburger.

posted May 07, 2012 12:33 AM            

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Originally posted by Randall:
I went out on a date in my pre-Charmaine days, and I planned everything out with back-ups also. I don't think guys get it that women want a mant to lead and that it's annoying for a guy to say, "Wherever you want to go." I also wanted something unique thrown. in, so I had her hel

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posted May 07, 2012 08:34 AM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I would want an equal partnership. That said, I couldn't deal with a pushover or doormat; it would be way too easy for me to use someone like that and walk all over that person. What seems ideal for a man, in my opinion, is decidedly masculine, but not a brute or a Neanderthal. Not aggressive, not passive, but assertive--right in the middle. A gentleman, but not someone cheesy, sappy, or a wimp. Good-hearted, and not violent or "macho", but still someone who makes you feel safe and protected, without being controlling or going too far with that. An equal partner who's sensitive (not emo kid sensitive, but as in "emotionally intelligent"), but who still is someone that you have to respect. It's a delicate balancing act.

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posted May 07, 2012 09:16 AM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
That example is something that would be fair and reasonable. Nothing wrong with a suggestion. Being pushy about it, yeah, that would be irritating, but simply suggesting something you both like is just fine.

Knowing enough about your partner to make a suggestion that she would probably like also shows that you pay attention when she talks, and that you're interested in her on a personal level. The only caution that I would say is to make a suggestion based on info you found out elsewhere and not from that person, as that might come off (to some women, not all) as creepy. But if you get to know her and remember little things she likes because you listen and care about what she says, that's pretty cool.

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posted May 07, 2012 10:40 AM            

See, some of the stuff that you all are saying doesn't seem like overt "testing" but simply "being around".

posted May 07, 2012 11:24 AM            

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Originally posted by Randall:
Is it a test to see if the guy will give in and show a lack of assertiveness?

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don't usually post here but this caught my attention as this scenario played out in front of me the last time we went to the movies

i find it rather amusing that we humans seem to want to find the "deeper" meanings in every single event we come across - is it not possible that the girl in question wants to sit closer because she may have vision issues that she has yet to mention to the boy in question? perhaps she is too vain to wear glasses and finds contact lenses intolerable? why do we assume that she was "testing" him?

that having been said, as aforementioned, last time we went to the movies we did see this play out right before our eyes... couple came and sat (at the back) in front of us...sat for a few minutes - she complaining the entire time... got up, went to other side of theatre somewhere and after a few moments came right back to where they had been sitting initially... she then proceeded to complain that she wanted to sit on the outside etc etc... and bless his heart he never once told her to quit her whinging... he also didn't give her the outside seat

posted May 07, 2012 04:39 PM            

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Originally posted by mockingbird:
*squintyeyes*

Perhaps my Scorp Asc makes "testing" so intrinsic to my nature that I don't even notice it

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posted May 07, 2012 04:39 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
[b] That example is something that would be fair and reasonable. Nothing wrong with a suggestion. Being pushy about it, yeah, that would be irritating, but simply suggesting something you both like is just fine.

Knowing enough about your partner to make a suggestion that she would probably like also shows that you pay attention when she talks, and that you're interested in her on a personal level. The only caution that I would say is to make a suggestion based on info you found out elsewhere and not from that person, as that might come off (to some women, not all) as creepy. But if you get to know her and remember little things she likes because you listen and care about what she says, that's pretty cool.

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But most women would see that as weakness, whenever i have tried to get an idea from the ladies of what they enjoy doing they are most uncooperative, always saying its your call,which is fine,but women bash guys like me behind our backs and say we arent "real men" as if women knew what it really means to be a man and all it entails,just the same as we men have no idea what it really means to be a woman. And it royally ticks me off and thats why i have taken myself out of the dating game,for good unless things drastically drastically change.[/B][/QUOTE]

Dude. Make it simple on yourself.

Communicate. Express yourself upfront. Put it in a nice way: I would like to give you the opportunity to choose what you would like to do/eat/watch/whatever. If you don't say something, I'm gonna choose, and this is what I like. And if you don't like it, then shut the f**k up cos I asked and you didn't respond

Well, I asked you what you would like to eat and I suggested salad. You said nothing. So we're having Porterhouse Steaks cooked rare and BBQ Ribs raw cos I'm the man and I said so ... just kidding

posted May 07, 2012 05:04 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:

Dude. Make it simple on yourself.

Communicate. Express yourself upfront. Put it in a nice way: I would like to give you the opportunity to choose what you would like to do/eat/watch/whatever. If you don't say something, I'm gonna choose, and this is what I like. And if you don't like it, then shut the f**k up cos I asked and you didn't respond

Well, I asked you what you would like to eat and I suggested salad. You said nothing. So we're having Porterhouse Steaks cooked rare and BBQ Ribs raw cos I'm the man and I said so ... just kidding

Me Tarzan. You Jane.... just joking

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posted May 07, 2012 05:53 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
lets say a Guy plans a date without getting an idea of what the woman likes, so he takes her to a Japanese place but she hates Japanese food, would she really be having a good time? Now what if the Guy had asked her. and she had said I really don't like. Japanese food, and the Guy said. , how. about Mexican? There's a great Mexican restuarant downtown,and she responds I love Mexican food. To me personally I see the last situation as compromise not the Guy being weak, he likes Japanese but she hates it, so he suggested Mexican which they both like,maybe I'm crazy but I see that as "equality" and compromise not weakness as most women would see it.

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I don't think you're justified in saying "most women." I know some women really like the alphas, but many others don't. Some like interesting talkers, some like 'em boyish & fun, other's like them older & sophisticated, others like safe and stable, while others like them bad boys dark & brooding.

I'm really getting the impression that some people believe that all women are the same, and if you think that's the case then I'd ask you to remember your astrology that shows just how different we can all be based on our sun signs, planets, asteroids and ascendants (btw, here's a thought, give a natal chart for the woman performing the test in the OP, just be sure it's a chart to show that she's likely to do such a test--that is, has a strong tendency toward domination and/or submission--as I personally think such a test is unlikely). And then there are other factors such as upbringing that also make a difference (women raised by a domineering father may grow to desire dominant men or despise them depending on how she felt about her relationship with her dad and whether she grew up feeling safe or scared of him, for example).

I'm trying to think of iconic love songs and movies, and I must admit I can't recall that much is said in regards to this matter, only a few give a strong indication they want an alpha or someone who knows how to be kind. Movies are the same, and it's twisted in that romances often have men who are in control yet end up doing what the woman wants in the end (a convenient female fantasy of taking what she wants without having to accept responsibility or feel guilty for it). Movies with a wide audience that show men as RP prefers them include Ever After and Stardust (and their popularity suggests a great many women prefer men this way), and I know many adult women loved the love story in Disney's Tangled (and btw, Rapunzel was practical fem-dom in some scenes ) Granted, Gone with the Wind and The Princess Bride are also popular and appeal to women of different tastes who prefer their men domineering and in control. There's also Twilight to appeal to females (including to a disturbing amount of adult women) who want take charge guys but also Bieber who is at least as popular as Twilight characters and he promises to be anything a girl wants (though personally I'd be insulted when he promotes his wealth & hot cars because it seems to me that he's equating women with shallow ****** , but his mass appeal among females who get the "fever"--including some adults--is undeniable).

There's also the disturbing possibility that it's not personality that matters so much to some women but rather how hot and/or rich he is. That is, if he's got tight abs and smoldering eyes (making a "hottie diff"), or if he's rich, then yeah, he can be a jerk or he can be sweet & shy and certain women will love him whereas if he's not so fine looking or wealthy then his "endearing" traits instead become creepy instead of manly or spineless instead of kind (that is, it's not what he does, it's what he was born with or has that counts). It's very shallow, but that's how many are so this is probably the case in at least a few (and maybe many).

But hey, let's ask others here. How many women would see this as spineless instead of mature and thoughtful? Please be honest.

posted May 07, 2012 08:03 PM            

She asks once. Waits two seconds for a response. "Dunno" would be met with an insult, and she'll make the final decision.

posted May 07, 2012 08:11 PM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I don't think you're justified in saying "most women." I know some women really like the alphas, but many others don't. Some like interesting talkers, some like 'em boyish & fun, other's like them older & sophisticated, others like safe and stable, while others like them bad boys dark & brooding. I'm really getting the impression that some people believe that all women are the same, and if you think that's the case then I'd ask you to remember your astrology that shows just how different we can all be based on our sun signs, planets, asteroids and ascendants (btw, here's a thought, give a natal chart for the woman performing the test in the OP, just be sure it's a chart to show that she's likely to do such a test--that is, has a strong tendency toward domination and/or submission--as I personally think such a test is unlikely). And then there are other factors such as upbringing that also make a difference (women raised by a domineering father may grow to desire dominant men or despise them depending on how she felt about her relationship with her dad and whether she grew up feeling safe or scared of him, for example). I'm trying to think of iconic love songs and movies, and I must admit I can't recall that much is said in regards to this matter, only a few give a strong indication they want an alpha or someone who knows how to be kind. Movies are the same, and it's twisted in that romances often have men who are in control yet end up doing what the woman wants in the end (a convenient female fantasy of taking what she wants without having to accept responsibility or feel guilty for it). Movies with a wide audience that show men as RP prefers them include Ever After and Stardust (and their popularity suggests a great many women prefer men this way), and I know many adult women loved the love story in Disney's Tangled (and btw, Rapunzel was practical fem-dom in some scenes ) Granted, Gone with the Wind and The Princess Bride are also popular and appeal to women of different tastes who prefer their men domineering and in control. There's also Twilight to appeal to females (including to a disturbing amount of adult women) who want take charge guys but also Bieber who is at least as popular as Twilight characters and he promises to be anything a girl wants (though personally I'd be insulted when he promotes his wealth & hot cars because it seems to me that he's equating women with shallow ****** , but his mass appeal among females who get the "fever"--including some adults--is undeniable). There's also the disturbing possibility that it's not personality that matters so much to some women but rather how hot and/or rich he is. That is, if he's got tight abs and smoldering eyes (making a "hottie diff"), or if he's rich, then yeah, he can be a jerk or he can be sweet & shy and certain women will love him whereas if he's not so fine looking or wealthy then his "endearing" traits instead become creepy instead of manly or spineless instead of kind (that is, it's not what he does, it's what he was born with or has that counts). It's very shallow, but that's how many are so this is probably the case in at least a few (and maybe many). But hey, let's ask others here. How many women would see this as spineless instead of mature and thoughtful? Please be honest. I see others such as RP and Hera have already answered...I'd love to get more personal preferences.

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posted May 07, 2012 08:47 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Aquaguy, I await the day you'll have to go and watch Sex in the City with a group of cackling women.

Sometimes, you have to just be accommodative.

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posted May 07, 2012 09:31 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:

Me Tarzan. You Jane....

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This line was used on me once in a completely serious non cheesy way. It was sexy. ...maybe the fact that he pulled it off without coming out cheesy was sexy or maybe it's because the sexiest word a guy can say is "MINE" imho, but whatever, thought you'd find it funny.

Anyway, I find testing an efficient way to check compatibility. Words take to long and people lie.

posted May 07, 2012 11:22 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Hey, my wife is an Alpha female with testosterone who would eat a weakling man for breakfast. LOLz.

She asks once. Waits two seconds for a response. "Dunno" would be met with an insult, and she'll make the final decision.

The worst possible answer in this house is "dunno.". It's considered the equivalent of emasculation.

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posted May 08, 2012 02:18 AM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I'm not playing the "What would you like to eat" game. More often than not, I get the "Lobster" answer, to which I would respond "do you think the 99 cent McChicken sandwichis still available!". LOL

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