posted May 28, 2012 12:13 AM            

quote:

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It takes a perceptive and equally sensitive and caring person to see below a cynic's surface and see their beauty and not be hurt by it or judge it or try to find something they think the other person is lacking.

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I don't know about that...
The part about finding what they lack.

I would say it would take a highly perceptive person to know what that person lacks and thereby endeavour to understand them.
You wouldn't announce it or or use it as ammo to hurt their feelings, that would be an egocentric game to get the one up.

And being hurt by it, well yes, many times

I don't see it like your post indicated. I did not get that from the quote I posted.

I think it's a general good tool for psychoanalytics.

I'll read everyone's responses more thoughtfully. It's a very interesting subject.

BTW I have the flu or some type of horrible infection at the moment (waiting for the results) so back on the screens to cheer me up LOL

posted May 29, 2012 05:33 AM            

A lot of cynicism is in relationships with people that I know. I really don't have much faith in most of my acquaintances. I'd say that it hits this area of my life more so than any other area, with career being the second most-hit area.

I can be sweet and very caring, but I am reaching the point where I just feel so drained and exhausted trying to be that way when others don't reciprocate. I feel literal fatigue at trying to please others and still not meeting their little demands; nothing that I do will ever be enough. I've been used, pushed away, and then rejected to the point that I've come to expect this from people as standard.

I'm also getting to the point that I don't really want to show care or affection because it just gets people to take advantage of me and walk all over me, or else if I show that I care, people will just be cold and unresponsive, which I can't stand.

Suffice to say, I'm very pessimistic about relationships and don't have much hope or faith in being able to change how people see me for the better and turn things around.

posted May 29, 2012 09:34 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Yin:
Cynics are miserable people. Miserable people make me miserable so I avoid them.

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posted May 29, 2012 09:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Sounds like you're talking about what I'd call "pessimists" rather than cynics.

And I know as for me I've gotten happier with cynicism because I stopped being so bitterly disappointed by my unrealistic expectations of thinking people were better than they were and I'm much more likely to be pleasantly surprised than I used to be and less likely to hold grudges (as I no longer feel betrayed or upset by common human foibles & weaknesses since I've come to expect and accept them, at least to a point). And now I shrug & laugh off a lot more than I used to and thus tend to be more relaxed & easy going.

And generally speaking my motto is hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

Though I don't know if I'm a cynic or not. Many say I am, but more often than not I find I'm not cynical enough. I also seem to have a lot less anxiety about the future than many others do, including even many of the people who say I'm too cynical (perhaps this is because they're cynical as well but about different things and think their cynicism is just noting the facts but my cynicism is questioning what they have faith in so call me too cynical while ironically being just as cynical themselves, maybe even more so, only in a different way).

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Cynicism and pessimism are way different.

I am not a cynical individual, but can be very pessimistic.

There is this thing, called "defensive pessimism" I researched it and it is real.

And it works for the people who have been "diagnosed" with it!

posted May 29, 2012 09:44 AM            

But I think Virgos do it for a reason, they often project their unhappiness with themselves onto others, critisize, and try to fix others while subconciously hoping to fix themselves.

Others I have encountered are just plain unhappy people and have to make others lives as miserable as their own. And I dont think they do it with intent, but its kind of like, "I am so friggin umhappy, lets find something unhappy about you and focus on that." Again, not conciously, but a very subliminal thing, most dont even know they are doing!

I steer clear of naysayers myself...cant deal with the terribly down energy, as I am too sensitive. And it HURTS!!! Even as a small child I knew the verbal negativity my mother threw at me was bullcrap, but it still hurts!

My grandma, now passed, who raised me in a large part, brought me and my bro up living in simple, layman's (tho very Christian in nature) terms....she always said "If you dont have something nice to say about someone, then done say anything at all...."

Good ol old school thinking!

terri~

posted May 29, 2012 09:48 AM            

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Originally posted by SunChild:
I think I get down about it because cynics can really start to embellish 'it' when they often don't realise they are hurting someone, as long as they feel good and have a good laugh, right? ( these are just thoughts with my ex in mind and step fatherS ).
And beware if you want to be all positive around them (as it comes naturally like the air I breath for my temperament.)
I want to understand so I can avoid taking it personally when I communicate with that person so my daughter can learn how to deal with it by my example. We are both fragile and are masters at hiding it.

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Hi Sun!!!

I spent a good long time, recently researching and soul searching on how to not take my Virgo bfriend's critisisms personally, and I finally found a place of peace...posted the jist already.

But this is what sensitive people have to do with these type of individuals...NOT take them seriously and definately NOT take them personally.

I have found as I already posted it is them not us.

GREAT thread!!!

SO, resonates with my very being since I was born!