posted June 02, 2012 03:19 AM            

Off to dinner. Rather interesting thread this evening.

posted June 02, 2012 05:56 AM            

Interesting enough, I've even stood up for people twice online (that I recall offhand) who thought I was attacking them. One of those guys was being dog piled and I came to his defense (I did make one small joke at his expense but it was meant to lighten the mood and calm everyone down) and he freaked at me even stronger than those who were attacking him saying he was going to rape me and chop me up with an ax for which he got banned. Interesting enough I chanced across him on another board where he complained how I "tricked" him into attacking me so he'd get banned (and that what he said "wasn't that bad" though of course he didn't share what it was he said). Because I'm careful of my anonymity I wasn't scared of him finding me so I just shrugged him off, hoped he got off the meth one day (which he admitted to using), and stopped caring about him one way or another.

posted June 02, 2012 06:31 AM            

On LL? I'm sure there's one person in particular who feels that I don't like them. I don't hate them and I try not to engage in heated discussions with them. Anywho, it's easy to wrongfully perceive someone's feelings about you online. You can't look them in the eyes to read them.

There are people here who I like and they don't know it (who knows what they think of me. Lol) and there are people who make me count the last of their fifteen minutes.

posted June 02, 2012 09:18 AM            

My advice would echo SC's advice: talk it out. Most of the time it's a misunderstanding or series of misunderstandings on which you're basing your entire online behavior and let it spill over to RL. Just sounds silly to me. Why create more drama? Isn't the world sad enough as it is?

Oh, and if it's something from the past, remember that people change and we all deserve forgiveness for the most part. If you can't fix it, try to let it go.

posted June 02, 2012 10:51 AM            

Going to respond with my thoughts later. Right now is not the time.

posted June 02, 2012 11:15 AM            

I am getting there but it is slow as hell and hurts like hell.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted June 02, 2012 12:02 PM            

I have a perfect example of "talking it out" and finding a super great friend after a LOT of drama that could have perpetuated and never been dealt with. A very supportive, positive, strong and raw honest person I am blessed to know. So I agree with you there. There is not a lot that can't be dealt with through mutual respect, honesty and humility.

posted June 02, 2012 12:17 PM            

Online interaction is raw projection for the average person.
When no body language or inflection is present, we have only our experiences and beliefs to rely on when interpteting the other.

A whole lot of drama could be avoided if one clearly knew this and simply asked questions instead of jumping on the drama wagon or the defensive cart.

Their posts are rarely about you and says much more about them anyhow. If they are smacking you , so what? Let them carry on and make an azz of themselves. Life is much too wonderful and short to let the forum projectors waste one minute of your time.

posted June 03, 2012 06:13 AM            

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but plenty of people have wrongly inferred a critical "tone" to my words online when that wasn't intended, even when I'm making casual observations instead of debating them

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Same here.

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It became worse when someone who needed to be the center of attention claimed to know me inside out ....... I didn't correct them because they wanted to believe it and I just didn't/don't have room in my life for people like them- I just didn't care. Lol.

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Nicely said Ami.

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Ghani, That's nice that you found that with someone. I have a similar friend in my life. Not anyone I ever had drama with or had to resolve anything with, but a very supportive, strong, honest and kind person who knows me inside and out. Also knows everything that's gone on in my life over the past couple of years and has been there through thick and thin. Doesnt judge, is just a great friend and it's one of the few times i've every really felt understood by someone. This person is the ONLY person I tell everything too and who knows the real deal, full story, ins and outs of me & what's gone on in my life (which has been a lot over the past few years) & has been there with me through some really hard times. I have had my trust broken way too many times and have a hard time trusting anyone anymore, except for this one loyal friend. And I hope I am just as good a friend to them.

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Juni, wise words. That is why i try to take "life" here with a grain of salt and not get too wrapped up in things...or involved with people here anymore.

Yes, life IS too much wonderful and short to let people waste your time, trying to upset you or whatever.

posted June 03, 2012 06:16 AM            

&

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Most of the time it's a misunderstanding or series of misunderstandings on which you're basing your entire online behavior and let it spill over to RL. Just sounds silly to me. Why create more drama? Isn't the world sad enough as it is?

Oh, and if it's something from the past, remember that people change and we all deserve forgiveness for the most part. If you can't fix it, try to let it go.

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Funny, because I had a similar thought. How people like to hang on to something negative and especially if they dont like a person, try to make that once incident out to be THE ENTIRE PERSON or look for other little things to blow up in an attempt to distort reality and change things to their advantage.

It reminded me of some advice I read about suicides and how sad it is that all too often that is the only thing a person is remembered for once they do that. The rest of their life seems to fade away and it's all about that one thing and that's how they are remembered.

posted June 03, 2012 06:20 AM            

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Originally posted by SunChild:
Well said Juni. "Don't let them waste one minute of your time"- this should be a golden rule for online interaction. (In the event you don't know them/or care to know them)

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Yes, unless you have actually known the person IN PERSON, by phone, chat, email, TEXTING, or many of those forms of communications, for awhile, then no one really has any business talking about them or rumors they have heard about them, or thinking they really know anything about them at all. Right?

posted June 03, 2012 10:03 PM            

Its difficult to make new friends when you have been hurt. I am shocked at how many people in this world have. So when I speak with someone that is sharp, derisive or even complacent, I remind myself that I have no idea what they have seen in their life. How they have suffered, who has hurt them. I don't deny that I get an immediate impression, that I make a judgment before really knowing, but I stop myself and remember.. also have read that Pluto in the 7th in Libra leads me to want to intimately know as many people as possible. I have opened myself and my heart to many, friends and family, and couldn't help myself. Now I have to stop myself and realize how damaging it can be to allow the emotions of others to seep into my soul and dwell where my own should be. I've suffocated myself, not realizing at the time what I was allowing..

So to have a few good people in your life that have no expectations, are simply there as you are there, has proven itself, to me, the way to live more simply..

posted June 04, 2012 07:40 AM            

quote:

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So to have a few good people in your life that have no expectations, are simply there as you are there, has proven itself, to me, the way to live more simply..

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