posted June 16, 2012 05:59 PM            

i have dealt with quite a lot of loneliness in my life....mostly becuse i cut off friendship i thought i was ruining

but i gave time to myself...to know myself better

go try out new things in your life im sure eventually find something you will like

you said you were talking to several guys...id guess that if you were such a horrible person they would have never get near you so you must be doing something right

if you dont want a relationship with that guy go find someone you will want to have a relationship with

if you dont have hobbies go find some....go to classes (like art,photography,writing or something you think you might connect to),do charity,go find groups and you will kill three birds with one stone:

1.you will find a hobby
2.you will find friend
3.you will find a person to love (hopefully ^^)

and always remember that you are a good person wherever you go...

instead of "going with the flow" and showing interest in "popular things" find thing you like and build youreself a foundation for your personality

instead of thinking of what a lousy friend you were becuse you cut ties think that you are a strong person unwilling to let other make you feel bad or useless

instead of thinking that you will need a man to live think you will need a man to share you life with

posted June 16, 2012 06:05 PM            

quote:

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if you dont have hobbies go find some....go to classes (like art,photography,writing or something you think you might connect to),do charity,go find groups and you will kill three birds with one stone:

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That was my advice.

Give yourself a try....give yourself some time - alone time. It could end up being the best relationship you ever have. Youre still young. Don't go through life only knowing yourself through another person.

Not to mention that people who are secure with themselves and being alone - who are able to have fun with themsleves and have hobbies and/or talents & interests are usually more interesting and fun to be around.

Most guys arent into needy girls who's world only revolves around them.

posted June 17, 2012 10:43 AM            

I hope these don't fall under the heading of platitudes. I suppose some of them do. For that, I apologize.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted June 17, 2012 02:06 PM            

Just take this time to explore yourself.

posted June 18, 2012 02:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Saraintheski:
Thanks all of you <3 <3 !
I guess it's just like this shame I feel constantly , to deal with it I am hoping to get a job at this art gallery heres a link to this place http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kiVGZm9Z88

it looks so alive and when I walk in there I feel happy!

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It's shame I am having awful depression, today, too.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted June 20, 2012 05:03 AM            

I was doing some research earlier in the year and came across some work done by Otto Rank. He said that when a woman is single, one of the drawbacks is that we can feel a strong sense of shame whereas men tend to experience guilt[when single]. There was more but it's way too much to type.

So I wanted to tell you that how you're feeling...is "normal". It's not nice but it's a common enough reaction.

Whether we like it or not we gain a part of our identity from others and it may be that when you're connected to a strong man ~ it naturally makes you feel more secure. I guess the trick is to find one who isn't controlling with it.

Age has absolutely nothing to with this. I'm hurtling towards 40 and battle almost daily with feelings of shame. This has been ongoing since I separated from my last partner over two years ago. I'm also struggling with identity issues...I've had astro transits that have shown this [neptune] so I've been able to accept it to a degree.

How you're feeling now ~ it may come and go. I think you need to at least give yourself some credit for not going into denial over the whole thing. Most people won't admit feeling the bad stuff. I think the important thing is that you keep trying to make new friends/boyfriends or try new hobbies etc