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Author Topic:   Exposing kids to sexuality
Joy11
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posted June 25, 2012 01:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Joy11     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So my 4yo and 1yo and I were at the swimming pool the other day, and they were playing a top-40 radio station over the loudspeakers. There are kids at this pool from baby all the way through teenagers, and this is a public radio station. A song came on that made me jerk my head around. (I grew up listening to mostly Classical music, and find most pop music quite boring, so I didn't know the song.) The lyrics seemed to be describing the sex act in some detail. (I later looked it up and found out the song was "Black" by Pearl Jam, and the lyrics are commonly misheard as "her legs spread out before me..." However, the lyrics are actually "...were laid spread out before me" talking about sheets of clay...but there is definitely poetic veiling of the sex act in the lyrics) So I misheard, and thought the song was being sexually explicit, when actually it was... sexually implicit!

Nonetheless, this raises a question for me. There are plenty of opportunities in our society for young children to be exposed to sexuality. My knee-jerk reaction is, this is not healthy for them, because they'll try to act it out before their bodies are ready, and they'll lose their childhood too soon.

However, the open-minded, devil's-advocate side of me brought up the point that children in indigenous societies are/were probably constantly exposed to their parents and other people in the tribe having sex, and they grow up just knowing it's a part of life, like the animals, and they aren't traumatized or lose their innocence from it. I recently read a book called "The Joys of Motherhood," which is about the life of a woman who grew up in a tribe in Nigeria in the early 20th century. It was a fascinating, incredible look into life in "pre-civilized" cultures. One thing, of many, that struck me was how matter-of-fact sex was in that culture. It was just something married adults do, period. People did it without trying to hide the noise from the others in the neighboring hut, etc. Now, I wouldn't want to return to that lifestyle, and I'm thankful for many of the strides we've made in civilization. But prudishness can be damaging, as I know from experience. I wish I hadn't grown up deathly afraid of sex, like it was this mystical, weird, incredible thing to be feared, and entered into only with extreme caution and reverence. So, where's the balance here? Is it OK for kids to hear about sex on top-40 radio, and to see it on TV and movies? Or should public life pretty much ignore/censor it and leave it to parents to teach their kids the approach they want to pass on? What are your thoughts?

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YoursTrulyAlways
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posted June 25, 2012 01:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This topic is usually a red herring. So, I'm going to answer the question and state my factual opinion. Others may disagree, and I'll agree to disagree, and I'm not answerable to anyone. My wife and I run our family the way we see best fit. My bottom line is that it's up to the parents to filter the junk, and the government should stay out of family-based decisions.

I'm of the mindset that I will always answer questions factually and scientifically. Religion is carved into the moral fabric of my family, so I will also provide a religious context. Basically, here are the answers to the questions, and you will not ever disobey your parents.

My wife has more of a conservative mindset than I am. Basically, even think of doing that and I will kick your a$$ badly, so don't even consider disobeying. She's a very strong Leo, so nobody messes with her, and that includes me. Her bite is even worse than her roar, and her roar is deafening.

I have a 16 year old son. My attitude is one of resignation that he will do what he wants to do after he gets to college and there is little I can do to stop him. Hopefully, by then, he would be at least be past his teenaged years and the act will be with someone he cares about, and not out of recreation. Right now, he exercises his propensities by breaking furniture: I have replaced his bed four times already. And they are made of mahagony or heavy cherry wood!

My wife has a more clear cut stance. Sleep with anyone before you are married and I will kick your a$$. And that of whom you just slept with. Period.

I don't intend on a verbal showdown, especially with someone who has never had children of their own.

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RegardesPlatero
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posted June 25, 2012 08:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Personally, I feel that it's better that parents step up, man up/woman up, and talk to their kids openly and frankly about these things. I also feel very strongly that every kid should have sex education and that it should cover everything, unbiased, simply the facts. They should learn about everything and all options, non-judgmentally. They should be able to ask questions without embarrassment/discomfort in a safe environment, and the answers provided should be sound and scientifically accurate.

It's better for a kid to learn about those things from responsible, trusted adults and to have the most reliable information possible than to send a kid out into the world unprepared. Moreover, I would consider sheltering a child to be very irresponsible parenting. It's my opinion that it's better to help a kid learn how to face the realities of life rather than help a kid learn to hide from life or have unrealistic expectations. Being sheltered leads to ignorance, and ignorance about one's body and about sex can have very dangerous and life-ruining consequences, such as a baby or AIDS or other STDs.

It's really not enough just to tell a kid not to do it, that sex is bad, etc. Explaining why and helping a kid to understand the realities of the consequences that sex can have and helping a kid to understand the complexity of these things is, to me, more encompassing. Teaching kids that sex is bad could lead to problems later in life, as can teaching that sex is good. Really, sex is complicated, and I feel that it's important to teach a kid both the good and the bad and to give them as much information as possible.

And when I say "kid" here, I'm thinking like teens and older, in either a middle school/high school setting or another setting with a trusted adult.

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YoursTrulyAlways
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posted June 25, 2012 08:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You know what is encompassing? I force him to volunteer at the church daycare changing infant diapers. He's lost all interest in premature sexual activity. Simple. Effective.

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Ami Anne
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posted June 25, 2012 08:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
You know what is encompassing? I force him to volunteer at the church daycare changing infant diapers. He's lost all interest in premature sexual activity. Simple. Effective.

Brilliant, Ian

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RegardesPlatero
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posted June 26, 2012 07:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
You know what is encompassing? I force him to volunteer at the church daycare changing infant diapers. He's lost all interest in premature sexual activity. Simple. Effective.

haha nice

now THAT is smart and is showing a kid the consequences firsthand

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ghanima81
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posted June 26, 2012 09:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ghanima81     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Totally agree. Man up. If you were adult enough to bring a child into the world, you will be adult enough to get over the uncomfortableness of talking about sex openly. It's liberating to have open lines of communication with your kids. I personally always liked the idea of "Say Anything", like from the 80's movie. I never want my daughter to feel like I've lied to her about anything, or put any undue pressure on her either.

She will make her own choices in her life, but it is my job as her mother to educate her as best I can and arm her with the realities of ALL aspects of life, and sexuality is a big one. It connects to body image, self-esteem, and understanding of relationships in general.

The body has all sorts of interesting functions, some gross and "unseemly", also some that are chemical and unseen but felt. There will be nothing really sacred in my house. LOL. I have no intention of touting sexual activity as okay or acceptable until she is old enough to make the decision herself, and pray that I have made enough of an impact in my imparting the pitfalls and dangers, but also the good parts too.

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sunnigrl83
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posted June 26, 2012 03:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sunnigrl83     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sex is everywhere!!!!! You can choose to keep your child in the dark, and not expose them to sex, but the reality is your child will be exposed to sex. Better for you to talk to your child then some uneducated twelve year old @ the lunch table.

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PixieJane
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posted June 26, 2012 08:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I spent so many years growing up on the farm and in houses with thin walls that it never was a mystery or big deal to me. (Ok, I did "save chickens" from roosters as a child because I thought the roosters were trying to kill the chickens until someone explained it to me and perhaps saved me from getting clawed by a ticked off rooster. )

But I understand the desire to find the right balance. I'd never keep a child ignorant though (while keeping in mind the limited ability to understand as well), that just comes off as harmful to me, but at the same time I don't like a lot of the messages in the various media. And I suppose I should add that it's not so much the sex but the emphasis and dysfunction and blatant manipulation that I don't like. But we live in a society that celebrates capitalism and sex sells so it's just another thing in life to navigate.

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FireMoon
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posted June 29, 2012 01:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for FireMoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't have kids so of course I'm not trying to tell anyone how they should deal with this or raise their own kids, but I grew up in a conservative Christian family, and my parents did their very best to shelter me from sex and pretty much everything else as well.

I definitely wasn't allowed to listen to top 40s radio stations, I couldn't even watch Friends or the Simpsons, or normal tv shows because they might be too "sexual". Anything having to do with sex was just associated with guilt and shame in my household.

Ultimately this just caused me to rebel and I did have sex as a teenager and I feel this just caused me to have bigger issues associating sex with guilt and so separating it from intimacy as it was considered "wrong" or something that shouldn't be acknowledged or talked about.

Anyway,my personal opinion is that if you talk to your kids in an unbiased, non-judgmental way about sex and answer their questions honestly sticking to the facts as Regardes said, they won't be as swayed by things they hear from unreliable sources, and it won't be such of a forbidden fruit so to speak. Otherwise they have no context to place the messages they hear from other places, and I think you're just setting them up for more confusion and possibly bigger problems than just natural hormones or desires as teenagers... Just in my opinion.

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RegardesPlatero
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posted June 29, 2012 05:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by FireMoon:
I don't have kids so of course I'm not trying to tell anyone how they should deal with this or raise their own kids, but I grew up in a conservative Christian family, and my parents did their very best to shelter me from sex and pretty much everything else as well.

I definitely wasn't allowed to listen to top 40s radio stations, I couldn't even watch Friends or the Simpsons, or normal tv shows because they might be too "sexual". Anything having to do with sex was just associated with guilt and shame in my household.

Ultimately this just caused me to rebel and I did have sex as a teenager and I feel this just caused me to have bigger issues associating sex with guilt and so separating it from intimacy as it was considered "wrong" or something that shouldn't be acknowledged or talked about.

Anyway,my personal opinion is that if you talk to your kids in an unbiased, non-judgmental way about sex and answer their questions honestly sticking to the facts as Regardes said, they won't be as swayed by things they hear from unreliable sources, and it won't be such of a forbidden fruit so to speak. Otherwise they have no context to place the messages they hear from other places, and I think you're just setting them up for more confusion and possibly bigger problems than just natural hormones or desires as teenagers... Just in my opinion.


My parents are pretty conservative about those things (though not as extreme as the situation that you describe) I went to a Christian school as a kid and the message in both places was "sex is bad, don't do it." Plus, very little information was given to us at all--other than "bad". Sexual orientation wasn't even discussed at all. While fortunately I went to a public high school, they still only taught us limited things about birth control, mainly just what types there are (don't remember if they covered the IUD or not). No one really talked much about the emotional side of sex, either. They didn't really teach, either, about what red flags to look for in terms of someone pressuring and bullying you, and how to tell when someone was just after sex. They didn't teach much about STDs, other than mentioning them--I never even heard of HPV until seeing the commercials for the cervical cancer vaccines or knew anything about it until I went to Planned Parenthood.

I basically had to go and look up everything on my own and frankly, that was something that angered me a bit. I'm lucky in that I've never had sex, but if someone else who had no information went out and did it without protection or knowing any accurate information, that could literally kill them. It bothers me that people are so ashamed of sex or else are so stuck on being "proper" that they cannot tell people information that could save their lives--or, worse, they spread lies or push agendas that cost people their lives.

I don't feel that adults can prevent teens from having sex. They can instill their values, but ultimately teens will make their own choices. They might choose not to have sex, but if they do choose to have sex, to me, it's better that they at least prevent diseases and babies. Ideally, yes, it would be best if a teen didn't have sex at all, but the worst possible case would be a teen having sex AND getting a baby or disease.

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FireMoon
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posted June 29, 2012 12:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for FireMoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
My parents are pretty conservative about those things (though not as extreme as the situation that you describe) I went to a Christian school as a kid and the message in both places was "sex is bad, don't do it." Plus, very little information was given to us at all--other than "bad". Sexual orientation wasn't even discussed at all. While fortunately I went to a public high school, they still only taught us limited things about birth control, mainly just what types there are (don't remember if they covered the IUD or not). No one really talked much about the emotional side of sex, either. They didn't really teach, either, about what red flags to look for in terms of someone pressuring and bullying you, and how to tell when someone was just after sex. They didn't teach much about STDs, other than mentioning them--I never even heard of HPV until seeing the commercials for the cervical cancer vaccines or knew anything about it until I went to Planned Parenthood.

I basically had to go and look up everything on my own and frankly, that was something that angered me a bit. I'm lucky in that I've never had sex, but if someone else who had no information went out and did it without protection or knowing any accurate information, that could literally kill them. It bothers me that people are so ashamed of sex or else are so stuck on being "proper" that they cannot tell people information that could save their lives--or, worse, they spread lies or push agendas that cost people their lives.

I don't feel that adults can prevent teens from having sex. They can instill their values, but ultimately teens will make their own choices. They might choose not to have sex, but if they do choose to have sex, to me, it's better that they at least prevent diseases and babies. Ideally, yes, it would be best if a teen didn't have sex at all, but the worst possible case would be a teen having sex AND getting a baby or disease.


I agree. I went to a Christian private school until high school and there was no acceptable viewpoint on sex other than abstinence until marriage. It was just wrong and that's all there was to it. I remember in our one day of sex ed (literally an entire day dedicated to it in middle school- and that was it, it was never mentioned again) one girl asked "Is there any way other than abstinence to prevent pregnancy or STDs?" The answer.... "No." Ridiculous.

Then in my public school that also taught abstinence only, we had a presentation about "Jack and Jill", Jill loved Jack and wanted him to love her too, but Jack was just pretending to like her because he wanted to have sex. He brought her over to his house and got her drunk and said he loved her and they had sex and she got pregnant. Then he left her to raise the baby on her own. The message: guys will pretend to love you to have sex and girls only want to have sex if they're either drunk or on drugs, OR they have deep feelings for someone and want them to be recipricated.

Also completely ridiculous! It gives both genders a bad rap first of all, and it also teaches that it's normal and acceptable behavior for guys to use and manipulate girls for sex, and that it's normal for girls to manipulate guys with sex... And that it's not normal for girls to want to have sex unless they're in love, otherwise they're probably unstable and abuse alcohol or other drugs (so a s*** , basically...) I know these are widely held views in our society anyway, but really, if that's what we're actually TEACHING kids in school!?!?

Anyway, I can understand that parents are in a tough position with this issue, and don't want to give their kids info that will make them think sex is a casual thing not to be taken seriously, but I also think that if you try to shelter them from it too much they're going to end up hearing tons of different perspectives on it from the media, peers, school etc.,and I would think it would be better to be able to give them the information you want them to know first. Also, from growing up around a lot of other sheltered kids making sex and other controversial topics completely off limits for conversation and just putting the lockdown on everything is a good way to end up with a rebellious, or promiscuous teenager. From my observations it's usually about half and half with very strict parents... Anyway sorry to get off topic Joy, I'm sure you'll be able to find the right balance...

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Joy11
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posted June 29, 2012 06:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Joy11     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree with everyone about having good, frank, factual series of conversations with children when they start to hit puberty, and keeping the lines of communication open. It's on my to-do list in about 10 years!

I'm more asking about the media side of things. Is it a good thing for sexuality to be so common in media situations-- on TV, in songs, on grocery store tabloids, etc.? To use sexual images as something that sells a product, I'm opposed to, in general (unless the product, itself, is sexual in nature, like condoms or something!) But I can't decide, for example, if there were a song on the radio (going back to my original scenario) that was sexually explicit, if I would write to the radio station and complain, or just ignore it, or celebrate it! (We already don't watch TV, not necessarily because of moral scruples, but just because I try to limit their screen time, and there are better things to enhance their development than the ole' boob tube.)
It's hard having Venus in Aquarius and lots of planets in Libra sometimes--I'm too neutral!
I don't understand the comment about the red herring. I wasn't trying to distract from any other conversation in here...? It was a genuine experience I had recently that raised genuine questions, and I was genuinely curious how others deal with this issue.

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Joy11
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posted June 29, 2012 06:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Joy11     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
I spent so many years growing up on the farm and in houses with thin walls that it never was a mystery or big deal to me. (Ok, I did "save chickens" from roosters as a child because I thought the roosters were trying to kill the chickens until someone explained it to me and perhaps saved me from getting clawed by a ticked off rooster. )


That's hilarious!!

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RunAroundScreaming
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posted June 29, 2012 09:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RunAroundScreaming     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree with what everyone said. Except I really think it's important for someone, probably someone at school, since few parents do it, to teach kids that most guys WILL just want one thing from you when they're young, and that the fact they want to have sex with you doesn't mean they love you. You'd be surprised how many friends I have who never realized this and had sex with a guy only to later find out he was only trying to use her. That's got to be a horrible feeling. And I feel bad nobody told her that guys are like that. They literally had no idea guys were like that, and they were pretty social and popular girls in school.

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FireMoon
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posted June 29, 2012 10:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for FireMoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Joy, I think you’re totally right about sexuality being so prevalent in the media to sell products… When it comes down to it that’s really what it’s about which is sad that we are surrounded by that and that it teaches kids the wrong things from the beginning…

quote:
Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
I agree with what everyone said. Except I really think it's important for someone, probably someone at school, since few parents do it, to teach kids that most guys WILL just want one thing from you when they're young, and that the fact they want to have sex with you doesn't mean they love you. You'd be surprised how many friends I have who never realized this and had sex with a guy only to later find out he was only trying to use her. That's got to be a horrible feeling. And I feel bad nobody told her that guys are like that. They literally had no idea guys were like that, and they were pretty social and popular girls in school.


Yeah I also agree this is very true a lot of people are oblivious... I just didn't like the way the story was told because the presenter just made it seem like "well, this is just the way it is guys can't really help themselves so girls if you have sex you're either stupid or a h*".... And I think that kind of attitude is what causes guys to think it’s ok in the first place and girls to be so ashamed/judgmental with each other about sex with just reinforces the cycle. So yeah I don't know what the ideal way would be to go about it but if there was a way to teach young people to be safe and realistic about these things without excusing the behavior at the same time (guys using girls, manipulation, etc.) instead of just trying to say there’s no middle ground so wait until you're married and find true love otherwise everything will fall apart and everyone is out to get you... If that makes any sense lol

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PixieJane
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posted June 29, 2012 11:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by FireMoon:
So yeah I don't know what the ideal way would be to go about it but if there was a way to teach young people to be safe and realistic about these things without excusing the behavior at the same time (guys using girls, manipulation, etc.) instead of just trying to say there’s no middle ground so wait until you're married and find true love otherwise everything will fall apart and everyone is out to get you... If that makes any sense lol

I find it so easy that I don't understand why you couldn't see the middle ground.

In a way it's kinda like teaching kids to be respectful of adults while also wary of them at the same time. Or teaching kids how to deal with bullies without somehow justifying bullying behavior.

Is this really so hard? If so I'll attempt to explain. But first I wanted to make sure that you actually meant that you couldn't see how one could teach how to be aware and cautious while at the same time that healthy relationships also exist and that some behavior, while practiced by some, is completely unacceptable (which is what it looks like you're saying to me, though I did find it a little unclear so I'm not sure that's what you actually meant).

That said I agree that abstinence-only sex ed is worthless based on my experience and nearly everything I ever heard of it (the movie Mean Girls made fun of it that really did remind me of how stupid it was) and kids would literally be better off left to figure it out on their own than exposed to that nonsense and blatant manipulation meant to control them more than protect them.

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FireMoon
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posted June 29, 2012 11:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for FireMoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
I find it so easy that I don't understand why you couldn't see the middle ground.

In a way it's kinda like teaching kids to be respectful of adults while also wary of them at the same time. Or teaching kids how to deal with bullies without somehow justifying bullying behavior.

Is this really so hard? If so I'll attempt to explain. But first I wanted to make sure that you actually meant that you couldn't see how one could teach how to be aware and cautious while at the same time that healthy relationships also exist and that some behavior, while practiced by some, is completely unacceptable (which is what it looks like you're saying to me, though I did find it a little unclear so I'm not sure that's what you actually meant).

That said I agree that abstinence-only sex ed is worthless based on my experience and nearly everything I ever heard of it (the movie Mean Girls made fun of it that really did remind me of how stupid it was) and kids would literally be better off left to figure it out on their own than exposed to that nonsense and blatant manipulation meant to control them more than protect them.


Sorry I was unclear Pixie lol I was trying to say that I agree that there IS a middle ground, and this is what should be taught. Like you said in a similar way to teaching kids to deal with bullies without justifying the behavior... A lot of people seem to think that with sex ed it's either one extreme or the other,either tell kids to avoid sex at all costs until marriage or you might as well be advocating promiscuity and the spreading of STDs (which I don't think has to be the case at all)

I guess I was just trying to say I think the issue of guys using girls for sex could and should be brought up in a way that lets people know that it's wrong and to be aware of it.. but I just didn't like that it was used as a blanket statement about all guys or all teenagers who have sex as tactic to instill fear and promote the "abstinence only" message...

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PixieJane
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posted June 30, 2012 12:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Joy11:
But I can't decide, for example, if there were a song on the radio (going back to my original scenario) that was sexually explicit, if I would write to the radio station and complain, or just ignore it, or celebrate it!

Writing them seems a waste of time, and they're gonna play what the most people want to hear (at least that's the theory) because the more listeners they have the more valuable they are to advertisers and thus the more money they make, and in this society the majority determines success by the size of your profits (or at least possessions). Likewise, sex catches attention so it's going to be used by advertisers to draw attention to their message just as the media will try to draw in an audience the same exact way. But just because writing seems a waste of time doesn't mean that there's a point to celebrating it either.

My kids know that I won't lie to them and they'll ask me about things like that and I not only tell them what I can (if I say I'm not comfortable telling them everything then I say so) and also where they can learn more. I also tell them how I FEEL about these things as well (and why). Usually the only hard part is remembering to explain things in the context they can understand, though I have found it challenging a couple of times.

If I don't like a message I say why. I wouldn't get rid of their radio as that's just too likely to make them want to hear it more and find out what it is I wouldn't want them to hear and even if they didn't they're gonna hear it somewhere else anyway as I don't hold them prisoner (there's a scary thought, treating them like Carrie White in that Stephen King novel...)

I do recall when my girl gave me Twilight gushing how much she loved it (like so many other girls) and out of curiosity I read it. I was so disturbed by it (not for its sex, in fact at that point it's pretty much an abstinence before marriage story, but for other unhealthy behaviors) and her thinking that such a relationship would be healthy (and plenty of other things about Bella bothered me as well) that I wasn't sure how to explain it without alienating her as she really wanted me to like it because she did (a lot of my problems with it would actually be hard for a child to understand because they're used to being treated that badly anyway and would have a hard time realizing there are healthier ways to interact). So instead I got out my Buffy dvds and said since she liked vampire stories and she loved Harry Potter she might like it (there are so many parallels in character and plot between Buffy & HP) and she did, which was a relief to me. (Of course the heroes are flawed themselves and make bad decisions at time, but that gave me an opportunity to talk about that to her as well.) But had she hated it I'm not sure what I'd have done...I'd have thought of something, however (don't know if it would've worked as well or not...).

Right now we're watching the series again, this time with the 9-year-old boy who's loving it (we just finished season 4), which kinda surprised me as I thought all the romantic drama would bore him, but it didn't.

I do recall back when I showed him an ep when he was 7. I wouldn't have done it save I got drunk watching It's a Wonderful Life and it reminded me of Buffy's the Wish and I asked the kids if they wanted to see it (since they both love vampires), and they loved that so much that I put on Doppelgangland which they also enjoyed...but I remember wondering if I'd screwed up when the characters started talking about homosexuality (about a vampire who is obviously bi) but not even the little boy seemed to have any problem with it.

And that reminded me of when I was watching shows like The Simpsons and The Critic as a little girl (like age 10) with Smithers being gay in The Simpsons and how Jay was thought by some to be gay in The Critic (and the part where his romantic interest sings to him, "Jay, I'm glad you're not gay, maybe I'll show you why someday") and somehow I understood it. I'm not sure how or why (though I've read interesting things about brain development in children at that age that allow for rapid learning), but I understood it (at least enough to follow the story). Nor did it bother me. And so I guess it's the same with them: as long as I don't wig out over the topic of sex then neither will they.

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AscTaurus
Knowflake

Posts: 518
From: Pretoria, Gauteng,South Africa
Registered: May 2009

posted November 29, 2012 04:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for AscTaurus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This was so enlightening....

To be honest, I'd like to sit and have coffee with each and evry one of you. Much that was said here was indeed food for thought.

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RedScorp
Knowflake

Posts: 4177
From: GMT-5
Registered: Jul 2011

posted November 29, 2012 09:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RedScorp     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Personally, I feel that it's better that parents step up, man up/woman up, and talk to their kids openly and frankly about these things. I also feel very strongly that every kid should have sex education and that it should cover everything, unbiased, simply the facts. They should learn about everything and all options, non-judgmentally. They should be able to ask questions without embarrassment/discomfort in a safe environment, and the answers provided should be sound and scientifically accurate.

I LOVE RegardesPlatero! Great opinions! I was raised hardly, with neither of my parents teaching me anything about sex lmao! I had the internet, though! And, luckily, I like to think I have pretty good judgement. Basically what RegardesPlatero said.

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frankie2912
Knowflake

Posts: 967
From: yep,ks,usa
Registered: Apr 2011

posted November 30, 2012 03:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for frankie2912     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh, I love that song

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