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Author Topic:   Victims of Suicide~
hippichick
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Posts: 1571
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted July 14, 2012 09:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Are really the survivors.

The, supposed "victim" cant really be a victim when he/she makes a choice. Ofcorse, not always a well thought out "sane" choice, but still the choice of the one who chose to opt out.

Today is the 11th anniversary of the dad of my kids (still cant call him a late husband), opting out.

This subject is so taboo for most people. I really would not be suprized to see it on Nat Geo's (I think) "Taboo!"

People just dont know what to say, we get stigmatized and shunned and hush, hushed.

It is not our fault, society, we, the VICTIMS did not do it, he or she did!

Please dont treat us strangely, its ok to ask questions, to talk about, to know.

thanks for reading~

terri~

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 34476
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted July 15, 2012 12:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes
You(I) have to make my life count FOR the person. I don't blame them. I am not saying you do, by saying this. I am just talking about myself. When a person is in the throes of mental torture, I don't blame them.
I want my life to count for something, in that I touch people and I matter in people's lives. That is the way I can honor the person who is gone.
I had someone tonight contact me for a phone reading. If anyone comes to me, I treat them as if they are the Queen of England because they are, to me. God sent them. He entrusted them to me. She did one e mail with me and I sent her 20 back. I don't ask for more money. It is my joy to serve. Then, she contacted me, again, for a phone reading, tomorrow.

This brings joy to my heart that she could see that I cared, that she means something to me.
I feel happy, tonight. I wanted to share that.
My life has to matter because I have to honor my loss.

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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RegardesPlatero
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Posts: 3355
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011

posted July 16, 2012 08:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I personally do see the person who commits suicide as a victim. I see that person as a victim of inner demons, of hopelessness, of unhappiness.

I honestly can't judge someone who commits suicide. It's sad to lose someone, but honestly, I'm not going to lie: under certain circumstances, I could see myself making that choice if certain things happened (chronic illness, life-ruining injury, things like that).

I felt bad in the cases of the three people that I knew who did it, though I wasn't close to any of them, but, at the same time, I can't judge them or think less of them. They were victims of whatever was bothering them, poisoning their soul. I feel sad that they took that path, but I don't think that they were bad people because of that. To me, they were people who suffered, and whenever I do think about them, I try to remember that there was more to their lives than just how they ended, and to keep in mind that they're more than the suicide for which they're remembered. I'll never know what went through their minds or hearts, but I can only hope that they are at peace, wherever they are.

I can really see both sides of this, though. I can understand those left behind being hurt, angry, frustrated, sad, feeling betrayed, etc. However, on the other hand, I can also see those who commit suicide as having to fight really deep and heavy demons, and I feel compassion for them, too.

It's really a complicated situation and is sad for all involved.

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Faith
Knowflake

Posts: 1863
From:
Registered: Jul 2011

posted July 16, 2012 10:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't know what kind of trouble a person has to have in order to blame the survivors. I just want to say, Terri, that I am sorry if anyone has ever accused you of anything.

You are a super nice person, it's obvious from everything you say and talk about.

I get the distinct impression from you that the LAST thing you'd want is for someone to be harmed, ever. Unfortunately some people have their perception all messed up.

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hippichick
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Posts: 1571
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted July 18, 2012 01:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ami and regards, very good replys!

faith, yes I have been blamed by his family, still am, their problem not mine.

I am 1200 miles from home, on my iPad hard to type

Thank you all!

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Venus
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Posts: 1310
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Registered: Mar 2011

posted July 23, 2012 04:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Venus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
the real victims of "successful" suicides are the relatives/people who loved him/her.

you can never make peace with the suicide of a loved one, there's always the "i could’ve stopped him/her"

i have sympathy for those who take their own lives even though i believe it is a cowardly act. i don't mean any offense so please don't take it personally.
my sympathy for them is because i can't imagine how low one would get in his/her life to decide to end it. must be horrifying..

suicide is a personal choice, no one can lead someone to kill themselves. no one!

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hippichick
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Posts: 1571
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted July 23, 2012 08:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Venus:
the real victims of "successful" suicides are the relatives/people who loved him/her.

you can never make peace with the suicide of a loved one, there's always the "i could’ve stopped him/her"

i have sympathy for those who take their own lives even though i believe it is a cowardly act. i don't mean any offense so please don't take it personally.
my sympathy for them is because i can't imagine how low one would get in his/her life to decide to end it. must be horrifying..

suicide is a personal choice, no one can lead someone to kill themselves. no one!


My sentiments EXACTLY! Part of the reason I posted this. I get so darn tired of, when people do find out, that I get this kind of deer in the headlight look, etc. People assume that I should be devestated, unable to cope with life anymore, etc.

It was HIS choice and those HE left behind his daughters at 9 and 13 at the time, and his mother, dad and sis are the TRUE victims.

I have been judged for my outlook, I have been condemned I have been ousted, but I refuse to be a "victim" of some body who clearly did this out of spite, and from a not stable mental frame of reference.

I really think people should become more aware of suicide. As I said in the OP, it is not a subject to be put under the table, it is real!

blessins all!!!

terri~

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