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Author Topic:   Toxic Shame
Yin
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Posts: 3089
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Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 11, 2013 10:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
A really great discussion on toxic shame here: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f26/the-toxic-shame-thread-the-cause-of-sa-for-most-98335/#post1523829

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Hera
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Posts: 5117
From: the OR
Registered: Sep 2010

posted January 11, 2013 10:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hera     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you!

I believe this is my deepest issue, or the strongest.. While I made progress on other fronts, this one still needs lots of improvement..

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Yin
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posted January 11, 2013 10:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I hear you, Hera.

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SaturnineMoth
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Posts: 1597
From: *The Land of Oz*
Registered: Aug 2012

posted January 11, 2013 10:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SaturnineMoth     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, thank you, Yin <3

I don't think I've read such a detailed article accounting the effects of shame in relation to social anxieties. (I'm going to share this with my cousin/sister as well; she's going through a long period of hiding right now...)
Kaufman's writings helped me deal with issues from my childhood that I had repressed but had come back to me in my early teenage years. Biggest struggle for me has always been (may always be.... but that's the kind of thinking/mindframe you're supposed keep out of, aye lol)... making/maintaining nonshaming relationships.... (opening up enough to them in general is hard enough, at times)... toxic shame leading to toxic relationships.... it's a hard rut to get out of... by being determined to turn my introversion into extroversion, most the time, it ends up feeling like I'm on that boundary, borderline area... and yes... narcissism... heh... it's great that you've shared this with all of us though~ by bringing awareness, and sharing compassion with each other (all of us whether dealing with SA, or toxic shame, or even general guilt/shame) we can all benefit from this article, greatly so, I believe! ^^ thank you, again~ <3

(sorry for hectic writing, I'm under time restraints atm... and, it is a sensitive subject - where I keep most my demons, actually... but I loved the article~ and will look into the rest of this support forum~ so I really mean it, thank you for sharing Yin!!)

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 39375
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted January 11, 2013 10:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Hera:
Thank you!

I believe this is my deepest issue, or the strongest.. While I made progress on other fronts, this one still needs lots of improvement..


Me, too. I hate it

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Yin
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posted January 11, 2013 10:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey, no problem SMoth. I'm struggling with the subject as well and feel like I have like-minded people here I can share it with.

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ail221
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Posts: 2791
From: Mary Margaret Blanchard's home
Registered: Feb 2012

posted January 11, 2013 11:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ail221     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Interesting read thanks!

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libraschoice77
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Posts: 593
From: NYC
Registered: Aug 2010

posted January 12, 2013 01:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for libraschoice77     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you for sharing this Yin, good to know there are people on here who understand.

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downtomars
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Posts: 1144
From: NY
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 12, 2013 01:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for downtomars     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow, I didn't know there was a name for it. Thank you, Yin, for posting this. Now I have to research this some more...

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bridgetostars23
Knowflake

Posts: 260
From: virginia, usa
Registered: Dec 2012

posted January 14, 2013 05:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for bridgetostars23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That was amazing. It's true for me, as soon as I go into hiding or isolation I feel scared and I forget why I feel scared and I just assume I'm supposed to feel that way and it is harder to leave the house. Realizing that is not just a chemical imbalance is cool. It makes me feel like I can take steps to work on it.

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Sorcha
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Posts: 752
From:
Registered: Mar 2012

posted January 21, 2013 05:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sorcha     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ugh. Yep, toxic shame is a hard one for me too. If you are looking for reading material beyond that site, John Bradshaw has a good book called Healing the Shame that Binds You.

It deals with toxic shame and shame in general.

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