|
Author
|
Topic: Teen Sexuality
|
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 5373
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
|
posted January 19, 2013 04:43 AM
  
all i'm saying is wearing different clothes gets different reactions from people. like my friend who is gothic and wears all black and dyes his hair unusual colors. he used to complain that people would always stare at him when he would walk down the street, he has even had cops stop him and question him. is all that stuff fair? no..but its the way things are and its the same with anyone who dresses to stand out.. people are going to take notice.IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 4589
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
|
posted January 19, 2013 07:55 AM
It is the responsibility of the parents to dress their children respectfully and appropriately. And behavior in public is reflective of the childrens' upbringing and their parents' competence, or lack thereof. IP: Logged |
Faith
Knowflake Posts: 3335
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
|
posted January 19, 2013 08:07 AM
HmmmI didn't enjoy having my mother so fiercely indoctrinating me with the "you're going to hell if you have premarital sex" routine before she died when I was 14. That just screwed me up. I don't think people should make important decisions out of guilt, but from a higher place of understanding and self-awareness. For me, since I had rejected Catholicism, I ought to have been able to shake off the huge guilt complex as well, but that was impossible, given my upbringing. So I won't use guilt trips to manipulate my children into doing what I think is right. My plan is just to talk to them about the pros and cons, and letting them know up front that my opinion is fallible. I feel like honesty is the best policy...ummm, watered-down a little so it's not TMI. My oldest son is a Sag who never wants a girlfriend.  My daughter is a Scorpio, and very pretty if you ask me....that will be more of a challenge. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 4589
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
|
posted January 19, 2013 08:50 AM
Over here, don't worry so much about the Wrath of God. For that, you have to die first and that'll take some time. Worry about the Wrath of Mommy. That's one arm's length away from your butt. And Mommy wants to remind you about hell on earth if you have premarital sex. Anyway, he's 17 years old and doesn't even have time to just sit down and do nothing. His life is so incredibly busy and he's an ultra focused kid. Success runs through his veins. Honestly, he doesn't have much interest anyway despite his popularity. IP: Logged |
Faith
Knowflake Posts: 3335
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
|
posted January 19, 2013 10:01 AM
^ Your wife's birthday is the day after my mother's.She really sounds very similar to my mom. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 4589
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
|
posted January 19, 2013 11:35 AM
I guess different folks have different perspectives of what constitutes successful parenting. It's necessarily individualistic. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 1539
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
|
posted January 19, 2013 11:22 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
I didn't enjoy having my mother so fiercely indoctrinating me with the "you're going to hell if you have premarital sex" routine before she died when I was 14.That just screwed me up. I don't think people should make important decisions out of guilt, but from a higher place of understanding and self-awareness. For me, since I had rejected Catholicism, I ought to have been able to shake off the huge guilt complex as well, but that was impossible, given my upbringing
Sometimes...I just feel so sad for kids raised with religion like that, and feel lucky that my own 'rents were contemptuous of it. It really messes a lot of people up, even driving them to suicide because they literally believe they deserve to burn eternally, among other things. One friend of mine who has come to rationally understand the god her mother raised her to believe in was false still feels it irrationally. She said as she voted against Prop 8 in CA she could "feel God's disappointment" and it hurt, even though she didn't believe in that god anymore. And I've heard of a handful of Wiccans who left the hardcore Christian beliefs of childhood only to run back to Jesus every time there was a lightning storm. It does seem to do real damage to some that can last decades after childhood. (That said, others leave it with no problem at all, and I'm not sure if that's based on the individual, like air signs can shake it off a lot better than water, or if it's all about HOW a child is raised in it.) In retrospect, I wonder if a Catholic friend of mine wanted me to convert for that reason. I told her there was no way I could believe in either the Bible or the Catholic Church and she said, "All true Catholics are jaded anyway." I think now that maybe she wanted me to convert so as to not feel alone for being jaded and not going with the flow (or maybe she didn't want me to go to the Hell she believed in, not sure). Though maybe not as many Catholics (of the laity) seem to passively aggressively defy the Vatican and be like this (she was the first person I thought of when I first saw this, too):  IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 1539
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
|
posted January 19, 2013 11:59 PM
Btw, I thought this song was brilliant in the conflict of many teen girls (more true of tween, I would think), was even on the Top 10 Most Requested Video Countdown on MTV, even if Britney Spears was popular enough at the time (causing schools everywhere to crack down on the dress code as girls tried dressing like her):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEaiSIPc2bs I'm curious, what would the boy version of this be? (Please, unless you really think it fits for most boys, no "Hot For Teacher"  ) Or is it not even comparable? In that case, perhaps instead one could share a vid showing the conflict many boys have between taking the lead while not being threatening instead, or about loving & respecting a girl while not talking about her disrespectfully and proving he's not "whipped" to his friends. IP: Logged |
Faith
Knowflake Posts: 3335
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
|
posted January 22, 2013 03:30 PM
Thanks Pixie Jane, I like that song  And the comic is so true. I actually think of Catholicism the same way some people think of germs. I just want to get as far away as I can. But it's totally in me. Like I love stained glass windows. And I love beaded necklaces, which kind of remind me of the rosary. And I love incense. In a way it makes sense, that objects that were all around me in childhood should have their own symbolism, independent of religion...it's more about nostalgia. Just the elements of a kind of home life, away from home...I spent a LOT of time in church growing up. So the paraphernalia has its own weird hold on me. Even though I revile the religion and have to consciously make an effort not to grimace when I see priests and nuns. I think they remind me of my own submerged, hyperactive guilt complex, which they wove into me. IP: Logged |
somethingexcellent
Knowflake Posts: 142
From: wales
Registered: Nov 2012
|
posted January 22, 2013 03:46 PM
quote:
PixieJane:
I don't like this, I think it's unfair. I know many Catholics who have such strong belief in God, but at the same time, do not agree with what churches or what each and every priest says, does, etc.
You can't guarantee that human action is without corruption, after all, and the actions of the church are human actions. Just my little insert on that, IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
