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Author
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Topic: Ladies... What kind of guy would you like as a friend?
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peregrine
Knowflake Posts: 178
From: The Lion's Den
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted January 30, 2013 04:15 AM
  
Emphasis on friend!  if you want him to be sexy well then that's up to you man!  IP: Logged |
RedScorp
Knowflake Posts: 4901
From: The Sun
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted January 30, 2013 04:55 AM
I can't really have male friends, since I crush on people rather easily, and even easier-ly on guys. But! I've had guy acquaintances. Simple: not attractive enough for me to crush on them! Beyond that, if they're unavailable to me, then I fizzle out and they can start being friendy friends, it just hasn't happened much since I'm not that patient with relationships.IP: Logged |
fearlesshiva
Newflake Posts: 17
From:
Registered: Jan 2013
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posted January 30, 2013 06:15 AM
A friend well um I have a very good friend he is an aquarius him moon on my sun in gemini we can talk and talk forever about anything I love his complete honesty.I love capricorns maybe too much for them to be only friends IP: Logged |
sand
Knowflake Posts: 10270
From:
Registered: May 2011
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posted January 30, 2013 07:39 AM
quote:
Originally posted by fearlesshiva:
A friend well um I have a very good friend he is an aquarius him moon on my sun in gemini we can talk and talk forever about anything I love his complete honesty.I love capricorns maybe too much for them to be only friends
But what if he is so honest he comes of as an ******* ? IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 1607
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted January 30, 2013 03:40 PM
^^Generally speaking, there are ways to share even brutal truths without giving offense if you're a friend. Tact is still encouraged and humor (which doesn't have to be cruel, at least not for all of us) can take the sting out of it. At least that's for me, I've noticed a lot of people (especially the clingy with abandonment issues) are much more insecure about that, which is too bad. Some people can't even see a difference in opinion on a trivial matter (even preferred music or TV show!) as anything other than a personal attack which justifies hysterics & revenge. I personally avoid people like that, but I've had to put a distressing number of people into the category to avoid or minimize contact with. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 1607
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted January 30, 2013 03:47 PM
As for guy as a friend...mentally stimulating, exotic background that can give me a peek into a culture or subculture I know little about, and humor are the big 3 (not that one has to have all 3). Other than that, a general "live and let live" attitude also works wonders. IP: Logged |
Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake Posts: 1079
From: Silent Hill
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted January 30, 2013 03:52 PM
Eh. I have very attractive and good-looking male friends who I would not date or see in a platonic way. This:
"I can't be friends with someone who is attractive... Only someone who I don't find attractive I can be friends with"
^^That is NOT me. I'm sort of the exact opposite, really.
For me, he would have to just provide good, thought-provoking conversation. It's cool if he talks a lot. The only time I'd start crushing on a guy is if we have some similar interests and well... chemistry (something that is kinda rare on my part). Also I'm much less into guys who are taken already, but we can be buds.IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 1607
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted January 30, 2013 03:54 PM
quote:
Originally posted by sand:
But what if he is so honest he comes of as an ******* ?
One more thing...just for fun, here's one of my favorite scenes from The L Word of an intervention done by lesbians on a pair of lesbians (the intervening lesbians are close friends, and there is NO SEX so don't be disappointed). There's so much I like about that hilarious scene (and the very sweet ending), and the part I thought of just now was the part where Tina (the blonde with fuzzy wuzzy slippers) puts her feet under her and the intervening friends instantly decide to leave...as if they were scared she really WAS going to leap off the couch at them (and her expression said she was thinking of it)...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJYHgIB18QE Anyway, just sharing for anyone who think they might want to see it, you don't have to know the characters to enjoy that scene. But if lesbians don't work then here's one of my favorite parody songs ('course growing up with alcoholics helped me enjoy it), of twisting a song about being a drunken wastrel to one of an intervention to turn her life around (before she "winds up like Lindsey Lohan"):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7n8GqewJ2M And in case it isn't obvious, an intervention is about as brutally honest as you can be with a friend or other loved one. IP: Logged |
mockingbird
Knowflake Posts: 1042
From:
Registered: Dec 2011
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posted January 30, 2013 04:22 PM
quote:
Originally posted by peregrine:
Emphasis on friend! if you want him to be sexy well then that's up to you man!
Geeks and Nerds.------------------
If I've included this sig, it's because I'm posting from a mobile device.
Please excuse all outrageous typos and confusing auto-corrects. IP: Logged |
SaturnineMoth
Knowflake Posts: 1750
From: *The Land of Oz*
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted January 30, 2013 06:09 PM
I like my male friends to just be themselves... whatever that is. ~shrug~ My guypals come in all different "colours" (not talking ethnicity here)... the more the variety, the merrier. ^^; there's really nothing specific I look for, probably because I don't distinguish them (friends) based on gender. There's no prerequisites to being my friend, no matter who it is. (gullible water-piggy here though, you'd think I'd learn some self-restraint, caution, and healthy discrimination... but, again... nope.) /sigh I'd like all my friends to value our friendship, the same as I do.... but, that's more of a hopeful ideal, than an actual demand. but, for an example, if you looked at my two closest male compadres, you'd see they are worlds apart, literally... in every way... the only thing they have in common is they're both Libra Suns. ^^; One is from Wisconsin, one is from Taiwan - one is 28 the other is 48 - one is into star trek the other is into jazz fusion - one is a computer wizard the other is a social wizard (butterfly doesn't sound right lol) - one is in an enduring relationship, the other is a bachelor for life - one has an impressive education and a low level position, the other has struggled with education and achieved a high level position - one has traveled the world, the other has barely been beyond his own backyard - one has a bad family history, the other comes from the patridge family - one likes sports, the other likes arts ---- XD this is how all my friends are... >.>; there's nothing too common between them. And, I guess... that's how I like it. ^^; IP: Logged |
11nahyt
Knowflake Posts: 500
From: the future
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted January 31, 2013 01:53 AM
The kind of guy friend I'd like to have, would basically have the qualities I'd look for in a boyfriend. Since thats how relationships start for me, first as friends...We would need to share many similarities, but have enough differences between us to keep things interesting..the only way I could be friends and strictly friends (no benefits) with such guy, is if I find him in no way good looking. Or sexy. It would be preferable if I found him to be physically repulsive, or him being gay.
I can't be friends with someone who I can't relate with. We have to have a handful of similarities for me to keep you in my circle. regardless of gender.
I''ve got a Lott of male acquaintances ,a handful consider me a friend, but I don't consider them to be a true friend, to me. only one of them is an actual real friend of mine. We are both crushing on each other. For now lol IP: Logged |
peregrine
Knowflake Posts: 178
From: The Lion's Den
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted January 31, 2013 03:59 AM
Lol! Gay is a good idea!  IP: Logged |
Lexxigramer
Moderator Posts: 1322
From: The Etheric Realms...Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat...& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted January 31, 2013 04:04 AM
Most of my guy friends are long dead.
I have had some great guy friends since;
much younger usually;
but once they get married, their young lover(s),
wives or husbands,
oddly see me as a threat, so I lose them pretty much.
Being that my husband is gay,
well, I am married to my main guy friend,
The other main one has been my friend since 1969.
I have several more but they live far away now due to mostly job transfers.
I have no problem being just friends with straight or gay men.
I used to have before I became disabled;
my fishing buddies, my running buddies, swimming hole buddies, and so forth.
I guess I go for Uncle types, big or little brother types, and the more intellectual the better.
Looks do not matter.
IP: Logged |
RedScorp
Knowflake Posts: 4901
From: The Sun
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted January 31, 2013 04:11 AM
^Augh, I felt like crying. I think you appeal to my Scorpio water, Lex.IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka
Knowflake Posts: 2212
From: Toronto
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted January 31, 2013 11:55 AM
Fun-loving and reliable.IP: Logged |
MillyX
Knowflake Posts: 471
From: canada
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted January 31, 2013 12:26 PM
quote:
Originally posted by RedScorp:
I can't really have male friends, since I crush on people rather easily, and even easier-ly on guys.
Me too! Come to think of it most of the friends I had throughout my life were female. The only male friends that I can have are gay guys, because I know that there will never be a possibility for us to be together in a romantic way & I feel much more comfortable around them because in my head they are female to me, personality wise. I get very shy with guys, so I don't really have male friends. And if I do make friends with guys, I will just have a crush on them in the end, hopelessly wishing for something more to develop when the guy will never ever feel the same way for me. It will just end up in heartbreak for me, so I'd rather not waste my time.
IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 1607
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted January 31, 2013 05:02 PM
quote:
Originally posted by RedScorp:
I can't really have male friends, since I crush on people rather easily, and even easier-ly on guys. But! I've had guy acquaintances. Simple: not attractive enough for me to crush on them! Beyond that, if they're unavailable to me, then I fizzle out and they can start being friendy friends, it just hasn't happened much since I'm not that patient with relationships.
quote:
Originally posted by MillyX:
Me too! Come to think of it most of the friends I had throughout my life were female. The only male friends that I can have are gay guys, because I know that there will never be a possibility for us to be together in a romantic way & I feel much more comfortable around them because in my head they are female to me, personality wise.I get very shy with guys, so I don't really have male friends. And if I do make friends with guys, I will just have a crush on them in the end, hopelessly wishing for something more to develop when the guy will never ever feel the same way for me. It will just end up in heartbreak for me, so I'd rather not waste my time.
Just out of curiosity, did either of you have brothers or otherwise have boys you grew up with closely? And how did you get along with boys when you were small children? I'm just wondering how much of this is environment/nurture and how much of it is innate (like astrology). IP: Logged |
MillyX
Knowflake Posts: 471
From: canada
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted January 31, 2013 05:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
Just out of curiosity, did either of you have brothers or otherwise have boys you grew up with closely? And how did you get along with boys when you were small children?I'm just wondering how much of this is environment/nurture and how much of it is innate (like astrology).
Nope I had no father figure in my life. Didn't have brothers, was an only child, grew up in a very feminine environment, that's why I feel shy around guys. I can't seem to make guy friends. I'm just uncomfortable around guys, manly men. When I was younger...Like 4-7 years old yeah I had guy friends. That's just because to me it made no difference as a child. It's funny though, I have mars conjunct sun in my 11th house of friends which is supposed to make me have plenty of male friends. So not correct!
IP: Logged |
RedScorp
Knowflake Posts: 4901
From: The Sun
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted January 31, 2013 05:55 PM
quote:
PixieJane: Just out of curiosity, did either of you have brothers or otherwise have boys you grew up with closely? And how did you get along with boys when you were small children?
I grew up and lived with both parents until my father left, about three years ago. I didn't live with any of my brothers permanently or for very long. I was a ladies man even in youth, though! I played better with the girls because they just had better imagination. But I did have male friends too! Just not as much as I did girl friends. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 1607
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted January 31, 2013 06:02 PM
^^Thanks so much for answering!  IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 7866
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 31, 2013 08:05 PM
quote:
Originally posted by peregrine:
Emphasis on friend!
Just about any guy is my friend. Been that way since I can remember. We get along quick and understand each other easily. I always found it easier to hang with the guys but usually had a couple close (awesome) girlfriends too. I'd like to have more girlfriends at this point in my life. There is one Cappy girl who i've become freinds with.  her!! Her boyfriend is also a Cappy. Its weird getting older & making new friends....not the same as it used to be. Not as important, really. I do like it when I meet one I click with right away though. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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