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Author
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Topic: Lust and Love.
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northvirgo
Knowflake Posts: 107
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted February 19, 2013 08:14 PM
  
Iam dealing with a very interesting situation in my life all of a sudden. Can lust lead to love? and Once you have broken up with a gf/bf can you go back to your past and claim love? IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 5968
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted February 19, 2013 08:27 PM
interesting question... our (mens) sexual attraction is closely linked to our emotions, so yes lust can lead to love for us. not sure about women though.IP: Logged |
ail221
Knowflake Posts: 3077
From: Mary Margaret Blanchard's home
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted February 19, 2013 08:40 PM
quote:
Originally posted by northvirgo:
Iam dealing with a very interesting situation in my life all of a sudden. Can lust lead to love? and Once you have broken up with a gf/bf can you go back to your past and claim love?
Initial attraction usually involves some sort of physical attraction so the existence of lust isn't odd. If your purely interested in a person sexually or at least for sexual gratification without any other connection then no. Love is special category that evolves over time, lust is just "I want you in my pants". You can't really claim anything if the emotional attachment isn't there with the other person. IP: Logged |
northvirgo
Knowflake Posts: 107
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted February 19, 2013 08:40 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
interesting question... our (mens) sexual attraction is closely linked to our emotions, so yes lust can lead to love for us. not sure about women though.
At the sametime men can seerate feelings and sex. what makes lust lead to love then? IP: Logged |
northvirgo
Knowflake Posts: 107
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted February 19, 2013 08:41 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ail221:
Initial attraction usually involves some sort of physical attraction so the existence of lust isn't odd. If your purely interested in a person sexually or at least for sexual gratification without any other connection then no. Love is special category that evolves over time, lust is just "I want you in my pants".You can't really claim anything if the emotional attachment isn't there with the other person.
What breaks emotional attachement?
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 5968
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted February 19, 2013 08:55 PM
quote:
Originally posted by northvirgo:
At the sametime men can seerate feelings and sex.what makes lust lead to love then?
well thats not to say a man wants to marry every woman he finds attractive. i'm saying men (most of us atleast) cant fall in love unless we feel lust for a woman first.. whereas women can sometimes do the opposite.. they can have an emotional bond with a guy and become sexually attracted to him. IP: Logged |
northvirgo
Knowflake Posts: 107
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted February 19, 2013 08:56 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
well thats not to say a man wants to marry every woman he finds attractive. i'm saying men (most of us atleast) cant fall in love unless we feel lust for a woman first.. whereas women can sometimes do the opposite.. they can have an emotional bond with a guy and become sexually attracted to him.
YES, I understand. If once that sexual attraction is "turned off" does that mean love vanishes aswell? IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 5968
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted February 19, 2013 09:04 PM
quote:
Originally posted by northvirgo:
YES, I understand. If once that sexual attraction is "turned off" does that mean love vanishes aswell?
idk lol.. i dont think thats the case for older men. IP: Logged |
northvirgo
Knowflake Posts: 107
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted February 19, 2013 09:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
idk lol.. i dont think thats the case for older men.
Good point. IP: Logged |
Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake Posts: 1156
From: Silent Hill
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted February 19, 2013 09:24 PM
quote:
Originally posted by northvirgo:
YES, I understand. If once that sexual attraction is "turned off" does that mean love vanishes aswell?
If you're truly in love, then the love won't die, given all other circumstances are decent. sexual attraction is important in initial stages but it ain't everything in a ltr... besides normally when people are in love the sexual or physical attraction doesn't die, might weaken or become less intense but is still there. You never tire of your loved one.The only way I can see love vanishing after sexual attraction and infatuation is if the two people were/are a poor match. Romantically and sexual. And a few other factors like novelty wearing off... if it is a fling of sorts...different feelings. IP: Logged |
Aquacheeka
Knowflake Posts: 2274
From: Toronto
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted February 19, 2013 09:29 PM
http://bodyodd.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/07/05/12 531143-first-comes-sex-then-comes-marriage-love-can-grow-from-lust-study-says?lite
This is why open marriages are playing with fire/have a 75% divorce rate.
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PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 1724
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted February 19, 2013 09:39 PM
I think people can fall in love (or at least come to love) someone simply by talking, so in that case lust can lead to love...or more accurately love can arise from bonding that happens because of the lust. I believe men are much better at compartmentalizing than women so it seems to me that women are much more likely to intertwine love & lust, or at least require one with the other than men are. But there are other factors (here I speak in inclinations/general terms), from evolutionary biology (her having stronger nesting instincts to provide stability for a child, him to impregnate as many as possible) to artificially imposed social factors (so a woman has to be more careful about expressing her sexuality, and when it's actually good she's much more likely to be possessive as a result because women are more complicated sexually than men). As for can passion or romantic love be rekindled, of course it can, though it doesn't mean it will, and circumstances of why they split (and how) will definitely affect how that works out. Though I think it's much more common for people who "fall out of love" to have sex without reconnecting than actually get back together (but they can still love each other while not "in love" with each other). IP: Logged |
peregrine
Knowflake Posts: 1238
From: Center for Ants
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted February 19, 2013 09:54 PM
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
I think people can fall in love (or at least come to love) someone simply by talking
i agree. h8 gemini and merc conj dsc. IP: Logged |
northvirgo
Knowflake Posts: 107
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted February 19, 2013 10:55 PM
PixieJane you are very smart. I understand your brainwave. quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
I think people can fall in love (or at least come to love) someone simply by talking, so in that case lust can lead to love...or more accurately love can arise from bonding that happens because of the lust. I believe men are much better at compartmentalizing than women so it seems to me that women are much more likely to intertwine love & lust, or at least require one with the other than men are. But there are other factors (here I speak in inclinations/general terms), from evolutionary biology (her having stronger nesting instincts to provide stability for a child, him to impregnate as many as possible) to artificially imposed social factors (so a woman has to be more careful about expressing her sexuality, and when it's actually good she's much more likely to be possessive as a result because women are more complicated sexually than men). As for can passion or romantic love be rekindled, of course it can, though it doesn't mean it will, and circumstances of why they split (and how) will definitely affect how that works out. Though I think it's much more common for people who "fall out of love" to have sex without reconnecting than actually get back together (but they can still love each other while not "in love" with each other).
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Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 1137
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted February 20, 2013 01:52 AM
Honestly?No, the attraction, sexual attraction, is still there..but the problems are as well. Not fair to either side, what happens is a relationship that just lingers and is sad in a way. Fmr partner will have no real interest in a relationship "but"..something sexual brings them back IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 4807
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted February 20, 2013 07:45 AM
I prefer to separate the two. I can easily have a lust connection 10 times an hour walking down the street. In my view, lust isn't meaningful. Otherwise, I'm in love whenever little Johnny's cranium gets excited, which happens way too often for a old toad like me.Wake up the next morning and see the bed hair, smell the bad breathe/body odor and look at the lack of cosmetics. If you are still lustful, then I guess you are in love. The yellow rose of Texas always looks more attractive after a couple shots of Tequila. Love is around long after the thrill of lust is gone. IP: Logged |
peregrine
Knowflake Posts: 1238
From: Center for Ants
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted February 20, 2013 09:05 AM
^i love next morning lust.  i have never had that sort of regret i thought that was only for movies. especially when the girl shoots straight up from the bed and is in total shock of where she is and who is beside her. oh well i'm not a girl.
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Lindaland
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