Author
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Topic: Passive Aggressive Behavior
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Gemmy Knowflake Posts: 422 From: Registered: Oct 2012
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posted June 02, 2013 11:33 AM
Hey Everyone ,I have a problem and I'd like your opinions on what to do.My sisters best friend is very passive aggressive.She's constantly giving me backhanded compliments and she's two faced.I can't stand being around her but she's become a "family friend".I think one day I'm gonna flip and lose it if she keeps on.But I know I'll regret it,cause she's very cowardly and I know the best thing to do is ignore people who act this way.She's also very negative toward other women behind their backs.One girl was told about her bad mouthing her and when she went to confront her she locked herself in a bathroom.So it's not only me.How would you guys handle a girl like this?Is it best to just ignore her? I have mars square sun,moon,mercury and Venus.There's only so much I can take. IP: Logged |
juniperb Moderator Posts: 6902 From: Blue Star Kachina Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 02, 2013 11:49 AM
quote: But I know I'll regret it,cause she's very cowardly and I know the best thing to do is ignore people who act this way
That`s the best advice I can give you. These people are social cowards and they have little to no inclination to change. They don`t view their behavior as passive agressive but rather as informative and conversational. They are the most difficult members of society to attempt to get along with. If you confront them, they either tuck tail and run or attempt to manupliate it around to you being the aggressor. Sad sad people. Much luck Gemmy!! ------------------ Christian, Jew, Muslim, Shaman, Zoroastrian, stone, ground, mountain, river, each has a secret way of being with the Mystery, unique and not to be judged. Rumi IP: Logged |
juniperb Moderator Posts: 6902 From: Blue Star Kachina Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 02, 2013 11:57 AM
How to deal with Passive Aggressive Behavior? Dealing with passive aggressive people can be fraught with difficulties and if you get it badly wrong, you could end up confused and frustrated, which is why you need to understand how passive aggressive people operate. You will meet this personality type in many different situations, from the workplace to relationships, but in all cases, they are the person who tiptoes around an issue and refuses to deal with problems directly. How can you spot a passive aggressive person? Passive aggressive people tend to be very manipulative in their dealings with others. They sulk, give you the silent treatment, do not do as instructed at work if they don’t like the task on offer, complain about you behind your back whilst smiling to your face, use sarcasm to deflect confrontation, and generally be extremely annoying. Dealing with passive aggressive people Firstly, you need to be able to recognise the behavior of a passive aggressive person for what it is—an avoidance of confrontation and intimacy. If you try and deal with them in their terms, you will get into a power struggle that you cannot possibly win.
Secondly, try not to give in to your feelings of frustration and irritation—this will only play into the hands of the passive aggressive person. Instead, point out to the person how they are behaving. They almost certainly won’t want to hear such home truths, but it will probably make them back down. It can be helpful to try and see things from their point of view. If there are inconsistencies in their argument or behaviour, point them out and ask for advice on how to solve the problem. Stay calm and do not lose your temper, no matter how crazy the person makes you feel. Pay close attention to the body language of a passive aggressive person as their actions often speak much louder than their words. If you notice that they are not doing something, despite being asked, point this out to them and voice your feelings about how their actions are making you feel. It is always better to trust what a passive aggressive person does rather than listen to what they are saying—most passive aggressive people rarely say what they are thinking. Encourage communication and reassure the passive aggressive person that you are open to negative feedback. Tell them they can share their thoughts and you are willing to compromise about the issue. Dealing with passive aggressive people in a relationship
rest here >> http://whatispsychology.net/dealing-with-passive-aggressive-people/ ------------------ Christian, Jew, Muslim, Shaman, Zoroastrian, stone, ground, mountain, river, each has a secret way of being with the Mystery, unique and not to be judged. Rumi IP: Logged |
Gemmy Knowflake Posts: 422 From: Registered: Oct 2012
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posted June 02, 2013 12:58 PM
Thanks for the advice juniperb. I'll try to ignore her and not let her project her negativity on to me. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 42528 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 02, 2013 12:59 PM
quote: Originally posted by Gemmy: Hey Everyone ,I have a problem and I'd like your opinions on what to do.My sisters best friend is very passive aggressive.She's constantly giving me backhanded compliments and she's two faced.I can't stand being around her but she's become a "family friend".I think one day I'm gonna flip and lose it if she keeps on.But I know I'll regret it,cause she's very cowardly and I know the best thing to do is ignore people who act this way.She's also very negative toward other women behind their backs.One girl was told about her bad mouthing her and when she went to confront her she locked herself in a bathroom.So it's not only me.How would you guys handle a girl like this?Is it best to just ignore her? I have mars square sun,moon,mercury and Venus.There's only so much I can take.
Put up her chart, Gemmy dear. Do you have it?
------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 42528 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 02, 2013 01:05 PM
It sounds like the Medusa asteroid. Put that one in. Maybe she has it conj the ASC or other prominent place------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Gemmy Knowflake Posts: 422 From: Registered: Oct 2012
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posted June 02, 2013 01:06 PM
I have it.Can I put it up here or should it be put in PR?IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 42528 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 02, 2013 01:11 PM
quote: Originally posted by Gemmy: I have it.Can I put it up here or should it be put in PR?
Put it in the Beginners and make it to my attention, so I am sure to see it each time I come on! xx
------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Gemmy Knowflake Posts: 422 From: Registered: Oct 2012
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posted June 02, 2013 02:17 PM
I put it up.Thank you. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 42528 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 02, 2013 02:39 PM
quote: Originally posted by Gemmy: I put it up.Thank you.
My pleasure, Gemmy ------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 42528 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 02, 2013 03:21 PM
I will check later, Gemmy dear. I need an eye break xx------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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charmainec Moderator Posts: 6699 From: Venus next to Randall Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 03, 2013 02:58 AM
to what Juni said.IP: Logged |
Kerosene Knowflake Posts: 2333 From: Mercury Registered: Dec 2012
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posted June 03, 2013 03:10 AM
Does she have a water or air mars?Mars in earth and fire tends to be more self confident. IP: Logged |
Gemmy Knowflake Posts: 422 From: Registered: Oct 2012
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posted June 03, 2013 04:22 AM
She has an aries mars.That's why I think she might have gem rising.That would put her mars in the 12th.It's the only thing I can see in her chart that would make her run away from physical confrontations.Unless the square from Neptune can also do that.She's also really likable and talkative. IP: Logged |
Gemmy Knowflake Posts: 422 From: Registered: Oct 2012
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posted June 03, 2013 04:24 AM
quote: Originally posted by charmainec: to what Juni said.
Thank you. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 42528 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 03, 2013 08:37 PM
You have to distinguish from passive anger because the person is afraid to be direct and a true Personality Disorder. With the latter, don't give them an inch because they don't deserve it. In your girl's case, it is the latter, I think. It took me a long time to learn this nugget of wisdom, so I am passing it on ------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Gemmy Knowflake Posts: 422 From: Registered: Oct 2012
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posted June 03, 2013 08:58 PM
Eh,she's both.Trust me.She's passive aggressive cause she can't be direct.She doesn't scare anyone.It actually becomes funny when you figure out their really just afraid.Actions speak louder than words,and her actions have proven exactly that.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 42528 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 03, 2013 08:59 PM
quote: Originally posted by Gemmy: Eh,she's both.Trust me.She's passive aggressive cause she can't be direct.She doesn't scare anyone.It actually becomes funny when you figure out their really just afraid.Actions speak louder than words,and her actions have proven exactly that.
Yep, it is funny to see them scramble to save face. ------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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juniperb Moderator Posts: 6902 From: Blue Star Kachina Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 10, 2013 08:16 AM
Gemmy, just looking in to see if you found a way to be at peace with your self while being subjected to her. Yes, i agree they are very afraid and those insecurities manifest in some ugly, inappropriate and sad behavior. Good for you on recognising it and making a valid attempt to understand and work around /with it. ------------------ Christian, Jew, Muslim, Shaman, Zoroastrian, stone, ground, mountain, river, each has a secret way of being with the Mystery, unique and not to be judged. Rumi IP: Logged |
Gemmy Knowflake Posts: 422 From: Registered: Oct 2012
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posted June 10, 2013 09:08 AM
Hey juniperb,thanks for checking in. I try to just keep my distance whenever she's around.I already have low self-esteem and people like this only make it worse.So I'm doing my best and I actually do feel better about the situation.You guys helped a lot. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 42528 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 10, 2013 04:50 PM
If you want to understand these people, Gemmy dear, read "People of the Lie" by Scott Peck.This is the anatomy of these people ------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Gemmy Knowflake Posts: 422 From: Registered: Oct 2012
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posted June 10, 2013 06:28 PM
Thanks Ami Anne.I'm reading excerpts, it sounds like a good book.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 42528 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 10, 2013 07:04 PM
quote: Originally posted by Gemmy: Thanks Ami Anne.I'm reading excerpts, it sounds like a good book.
Yep, the main thing about the Mal Narc is that they are hidden. They have a fake face of perfection to everyone but the people they target, so the people they target are not believed by others until time does usually out them
------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 42528 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 10, 2013 07:05 PM
In time, people can see the evil in them, for themselves, without you telling them. That is a good day, when it happens lol------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Gemmy Knowflake Posts: 422 From: Registered: Oct 2012
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posted June 10, 2013 08:25 PM
Yeah,people think I'm paranoid.It is annoying.IP: Logged |