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Author
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Topic: self esteem campaigns for women
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 6753
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted June 11, 2013 11:51 PM
  
I heard another one of the radio commercials tonight on the way home and it suddenly hit me, why are these self esteem campaigns always aimed at women and never men? You'll see tons of tv commercials and hear them on the radio but its as if men don't even exist. I asked my mom ( she is a woman who is very vocal about not liking short men and only dates men who are 6' ft or taller) why she thinks all these feel good campaigns are aimed at women she said she had no idea. I also pointed out that she is very vocal about wanting a tall man and asked her " Don't you think that could affects shorter mens self esteem?" and she admitted I had a good point. Why do you think that is? I find it all very strange. Its just another odd thing about american culture I guess. Women can swoon over the men with perfect looks and bodies but when men admire pin-up girls it becomes a problem.IP: Logged |
11nahyt
Knowflake Posts: 737
From: the future
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted June 12, 2013 12:50 AM
Because men are robots, HELLO!? Men are expected to brush shhit off, and act like nothing ever phases them. And god forbid dthey show ANY "feminine" signs like, low self esteem, or showing their emotions. Because that means he's "not a real man" or he's a "fag", "feminine" or some other bs. You see any man showing how low his self esteem is, and he will get ridiculed for that. further deteriorating his already, low self esteem. Yet you see a woman suffering from low self esteem, and she'll get cupcakes and a party thrown, just to cheer her up. Lol...Today on tumblr, I saw this picture of a guy holding an index card, saying " it's just as hard to be ken, as it is to be Barbie". Most people reblogged with positive notes. But I saw a few notes making "fag" jokes, and other mean remarks. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 6753
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted June 12, 2013 01:00 AM
quote:
Originally posted by 11nahyt:
Because men are robots, HELLO!? Men are expected to brush shhit off, and act like nothing ever phases them. And god forbid dthey show ANY "feminine" signs like, low self esteem, or showing their emotions. Because that means he's "not a real man" or he's a "fag", "feminine" or some other bs. You see any man showing how low his self esteem is, and he will get ridiculed for that. further deteriorating his already, low self esteem. Yet you see a woman suffering from low self esteem, and she'll get cupcakes and a party thrown, just to cheer her up. Lol.Today on tumblr, I saw this picture of a guy holding an index card, saying " it's just as hard to be ken, as it is to be Barbie". Most people reblogged with positive notes. But I saw a few notes making "fag" jokes, and other mean remarks.
Exactly. Society treats men with callousness and wonders why men don't reveal their emotions that much. As you have probably seen on some of my threads in the past some people have been downright mean amd nasty to me and kicked me when I was down and I have taken it all in stride. But what if I was to do the same thing and go into a womans thread and say mean things? I'd be labeled an insensitive prick. lmao That's life I guess.
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Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2009
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted June 12, 2013 01:08 AM
quote:
Originally posted by 11nahyt:
Because men are robots, HELLO!? Men are expected to brush shhit off, and act like nothing ever phases them. And god forbid dthey show ANY "feminine" signs like, low self esteem, or showing their emotions. Because that means he's "not a real man" or he's a "fag", "feminine" or some other bs. You see any man showing how low his self esteem is, and he will get ridiculed for that. further deteriorating his already, low self esteem. Yet you see a woman suffering from low self esteem, and she'll get cupcakes and a party thrown, just to cheer her up. Lol...Today on tumblr, I saw this picture of a guy holding an index card, saying " it's just as hard to be ken, as it is to be Barbie". Most people reblogged with positive notes. But I saw a few notes making "fag" jokes, and other mean remarks.
Yes, men are expected to brush things off, the thing is though, some men cannot and it's a bit like shaking up a bottle of soda. It spills over, the top is blown, things go haywire. IP: Logged |
Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake Posts: 1327
From: Silent Hill
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted June 12, 2013 01:09 AM
Women are often bombarded with mixed messages from tv/media of what "beauty" is. There is "woman" beauty and there is "male gaze" beauty. Also, consider that self-confidence is sometimes considered intimidating in a woman... she's seen as stuck-up, arrogant, etc. Everybody knows men like pretty women, nobody is complaining about that. But that's another story for another time. In this society, men are not expected to meet up to such standards... Yes there are Justin Biebers and Brad Pitts and George Clooneys who have women and girls swooning over them, but generally speaking a man does not have to be "attractive", at least not to the extent a woman must be to appeal to a potential mate.
A man can clean himself up, have a job, be interesting, have some things going on for him and that's just enough most of the time. It's enough for me, anyway. There are exceptions to the rule, I do know women who like attractive men but they do not always pursue them for that reason and only that reason. As for the men and self-esteem thing...
I agree that men are taught to "suck it up" and that logic trumps nasty girly emotions, but I don't think that is only exclusive to men anymore. I've been told that I'm too emotional and too whiny and I need to "suck it up" multiple times in my life, and I do not even own a penis. This is not a society that rewards self-pity and low self-esteem, in general. Besides, how come you don't consider those ads with the male hygiene products as self-esteem ads? Yes it's mainly about them trying to get you to buy their product, but you always see some dude spray the crap on and then get hot women. Getting women is part of what makes up a man's ego, to my understanding. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 6753
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted June 12, 2013 01:18 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
Women are often bombarded with mixed messages from tv/media of what "beauty" is. There is "woman" beauty and there is "male gaze" beauty. Also, consider that self-confidence is sometimes considered intimidating in a woman... she's seen as stuck-up, arrogant, etc. Everybody knows men like pretty women, nobody is complaining about that. But that's another story for another time. In this society, men are not expected to meet up to such standards... Yes there are Justin Biebers and Brad Pitts and George Clooneys who have women and girls swooning over them, but generally speaking a man does not have to be "attractive", at least not to the extent a woman must be to appeal to a potential mate.
A man can clean himself up, have a job, [b]be interesting, have some things going on for him and that's just enough most of the time. It's enough for me, anyway. There are exceptions to the rule, I do know women who like attractive men but they do not always pursue them for that reason and only that reason. As for the men and self-esteem thing...
I agree that men are taught to "suck it up" and that logic trumps nasty girly emotions, but I don't think that is only exclusive to men anymore. I've been told that I'm too emotional and too whiny and I need to "suck it up" multiple times in my life, and I do not even own a penis. This is not a society that rewards self-pity and low self-esteem, in general. Besides, how come you don't consider those ads with the male hygiene products as self-esteem ads? Yes it's mainly about them trying to get you to buy their product, but you always see some dude spray the crap on and then get hot women. Getting women is part of what makes up a man's ego, to my understanding. [/B]
I have to disagree.. IMO, society underestimates womens visual nature. Basically I'm saying women are just as picky about looks as men, but they wont admit it.
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Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake Posts: 1327
From: Silent Hill
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted June 12, 2013 01:23 AM
If you say so.And even still, I don't much see the problem. Would you date someone you were not physically attracted to? IP: Logged |
11nahyt
Knowflake Posts: 737
From: the future
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted June 12, 2013 01:34 AM
I don't consider any hygiene product campaign as something to help with self esteem. Especially not men's products. which is imo, only to stroke men's egos. "Smell like this, and you'll get the babe"." Get a haircut like this, and the women will notice". These ads always try to make it about about getting laid with women. Not about actual self esteem.same thing with feminine hygiene products. "Make your vagina smell like cupcakes and roses, because your natural scent is not good enough". "Look like this, and you'll get the guy"... Soo many of these "self esteem" campaigns, are the ones that try soo hard to weaken our self esteem, just to get us to buy their stuff, to make it "better".IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 6753
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted June 12, 2013 01:39 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
If you say so.And even still, I don't much see the problem. Would you date someone you were not physically attracted to?
Well let me just say this. I'm an interesting, intelligent, funny, and nice guy. I practice good hygiene and try to dress nice and have a decent job atm and I'm getting ready to go back to school. I also have morals and value and want a real relationship. So explain to me why I have such a hard time finding a girl? Because I'm not goodlooking. While all of the good looking guys I know literally have the girls dropping their panties for them. Clearly looks are a lot more important to women than they want to admit. I agree with you, nobody should date someone they aren't attracted too. I know I sound like I'm giving women a hard time, believe it or not that's not my intention. I just get annoyed when people imply looks don't matter to women when they clearly matter a lot to them. IP: Logged |
11nahyt
Knowflake Posts: 737
From: the future
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted June 12, 2013 01:39 AM
I agree with @scarecrow. How do you date someone, you're not physically attracted to? Everyone does, unless its a case of rape. Or something along those lines. But I will say many people have a ridiculously high standard when it comes to looks.. I guess to each their own.but for example, to only seek out a certain physical type, is very shallow IMO IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2009
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted June 12, 2013 01:43 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
If you say so.And even still, I don't much see the problem. Would you date someone you were not physically attracted to?
Yes I would..if they were interesting. The physical stuff is way overrated. At least if one has experience that is to say IP: Logged |
Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake Posts: 1327
From: Silent Hill
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted June 12, 2013 01:46 AM
...IP: Logged |
11nahyt
Knowflake Posts: 737
From: the future
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted June 12, 2013 01:52 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Well let me just say this. I'm an interesting, intelligent, funny, and nice guy. I practice good hygiene and try to dress nice and have a decent job atm and I'm getting ready to go back to school. I also have morals and value and want a real relationship. So explain to me why I have such a hard time finding a girl? Because I'm not goodlooking. While all of the good looking guys I know literally have the girls dropping their panties for them. Clearly looks are a lot more important to women than they want to admit. I agree with you, nobody should date someone they aren't attracted too. I know I sound like I'm giving women a hard time, believe it or not that's not my intention. I just get annoyed when people imply looks don't matter to women when they clearly matter a lot to them.
Wait, how do you know it's because you're not "goodlooking"? And not for some other reason? I know PLENTY of ugly ass men, who have hot, or pretty girlfriends. I myself dated a guy, whom by everyone else's standards, was too ugly. His own friends would ask me why was i dating him. "You're too pretty for him" was the typical comment I got from everyone who knew about me and him.. Even to the point his friends would try to make moves on me, feeling they had a chance with me.since I apparently have bad eyesight lol. But the thing was, that "ugly" Guy, WAS ugly to me at first. Like butt ugly. Until I got to know him...After that, he's was absolutely the SEXIEST thing ever to me, as far as I was concerned at the time. His personality was EVERYTHING. I was obsessed with him. To this day, he's still the only guy that I've truly, deeply liked. And he's the only guy I've been able to enjoy sex with. And I find myself, looking for his personality, in other men I've met. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 6753
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted June 12, 2013 01:52 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
Yes I would..if they were interesting.The physical stuff is way overrated. At least if one has experience that is to say
same here. IP: Logged |
Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake Posts: 1327
From: Silent Hill
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted June 12, 2013 01:55 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Well let me just say this. I'm an interesting, intelligent, funny, and nice guy. I practice good hygiene and try to dress nice and have a decent job atm and I'm getting ready to go back to school. I also have morals and value and want a real relationship. So explain to me why I have such a hard time finding a girl? Because I'm not goodlooking. While all of the good looking guys I know literally have the girls dropping their panties for them. Clearly looks are a lot more important to women than they want to admit. I agree with you, nobody should date someone they aren't attracted too. I know I sound like I'm giving women a hard time, believe it or not that's not my intention. I just get annoyed when people imply looks don't matter to women when they clearly matter a lot to them.
Don't take this the wrong way, because I mean ABSOLUTELY no harm. This is just my observation. First I'll track back and say that yes, there are women who do care for looks. I was just trying to say it is still different between sexes, even when women do ogle men. But moving on from that, I think it's great you want to do well for yourself and have a job/are getting into schooling/etc. But also, you realize these things may not necessarily entitle you to a mate, right? Though they do help A LOT when finding someone. Also, I hate to be that person but I notice you are hard on yourself sometimes. Especially comparing your success with women to those of "good-looking guys". Trust me, I am the type to be that way towards myself, and for no good reason. It can attract the wrong type of people or worse, push them away. I can't change you and am not trying to, just giving you pointers. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 6753
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted June 12, 2013 01:58 AM
quote:
Originally posted by 11nahyt:
Wait, how do you know it's because you're not "goodlooking"? And not for some other reason? I know PLENTY of ugly ass men, who have hot, or pretty girlfriends. I myself dated a guy, whom by everyone else's standards, was too ugly. His own friends would ask me why I'm dating him. "You're too pretty for him" was the typical comment I got from everyone who knew about me and him.. Even to the point his friends would try to make moves on me, feeling they had a chance with me.since I apparently have bad eyesight lol. But the thing was, that "ugly" Guy, WAS ugly to me at first. Like butt ugly. Until I got to know him...After that, he's was absolutely the SEXIEST thing ever to me, as far as I was concerned at the time. His personality was EVERYTHING. I was obsessed with him. To this day, he's still the only guy that I've truly, deeply liked. And he's the only guy I've been able to enjoy sex with. And I find myself, looking for his personality, in other men I've met.
I used to think the same thing. However when one has women ignore them repeatedly ( without getting a chance to project personality) and treat them with
coldness and indifference at best,it becomes very obvious that looks do matter. Especially when one sees the same women meet all goodlooking men with zero resistance.
IP: Logged |
Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake Posts: 1327
From: Silent Hill
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted June 12, 2013 01:59 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
Yes I would..if they were interesting.The physical stuff is way overrated. At least if one has experience that is to say
I know what you mean. I am the same way. I wasn't trying to say "everyone should be shallow", I just meant that it is more honest to date someone who you at least consider decent than someone, for whatever reason, physically repulses you. It isn't fair to not only you, but that person.
IP: Logged |
Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake Posts: 1327
From: Silent Hill
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted June 12, 2013 02:01 AM
quote:
Originally posted by 11nahyt:
Wait, how do you know it's because you're not "goodlooking"? And not for some other reason? I know PLENTY of ugly ass men, who have hot, or pretty girlfriends. I myself dated a guy, whom by everyone else's standards, was too ugly. His own friends would ask me why was i dating him. "You're too pretty for him" was the typical comment I got from everyone who knew about me and him.. Even to the point his friends would try to make moves on me, feeling they had a chance with me.since I apparently have bad eyesight lol. But the thing was, that "ugly" Guy, WAS ugly to me at first. Like butt ugly. Until I got to know him...After that, he's was absolutely the SEXIEST thing ever to me, as far as I was concerned at the time. His personality was EVERYTHING. I was obsessed with him. To this day, he's still the only guy that I've truly, deeply liked. And he's the only guy I've been able to enjoy sex with. And I find myself, looking for his personality, in other men I've met.
Ahhhhh I hate it when people do that! Make unnecessary comments like "You're too _____ for him/her." I'm just like, well you're not the one banging so-and-so, so go about your bizness...
Well at least I say it in my head. IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2009
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted June 12, 2013 02:08 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
I know what you mean. I am the same way. I just meant that it is more honest to date someone who you at least consider decent than someone, for whatever reason, physically repulses you. It isn't fair to not only you, but that person.
Physically repulses is a bit different though, that is a deal breaker so to speak Happiest and most attracted I've ever been is when "she" knows her stuff, can speak another language, and pokes fun..in a gentle way. Just wow..in the words of Duck Dynasties "Phil"..."happy happy" IP: Logged |
Jessica2407
Knowflake Posts: 2381
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted June 12, 2013 02:09 AM
@ScarecrowI like what you said  A handsome guy is NOT ALL about physical looks.My love interest isn't a handsome guy but FOR ME he is the most good looking and sexy guy, because he is MY guy. IP: Logged |
Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake Posts: 1327
From: Silent Hill
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted June 12, 2013 02:24 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
Happiest and most attracted I've ever been is when "she" knows her stuff, can speak another language, and pokes fun..in a gentle way.
Very Sagittarian!  IP: Logged |
Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake Posts: 1327
From: Silent Hill
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted June 12, 2013 02:24 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Jessica2407:
FOR ME he is the most good looking and sexy guy, because he is MY guy.
And that's all that matters. IP: Logged |
11nahyt
Knowflake Posts: 737
From: the future
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted June 12, 2013 02:33 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
Ahhhhh I hate it when people do that! Make unnecessary comments like "You're too _____ for him/her." I'm just like, well you're not the one banging so-and-so, so go about your bizness...
Well at least I say it in my head.
Ugh tell me about..Its Like they are basically saying "why are you dating that ugly guy, that YOU'RE attracted to, with the awesome personality, and confidence, who makes you so insanely happy? Why? What do you see in him?!?. For Christ sakes!! why couldn't you be shallow like us?!"... Lol IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2009
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted June 12, 2013 04:09 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
Very Sagittarian!
Guilty as charged! IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2009
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted June 12, 2013 04:20 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
Ahhhhh I hate it when people do that! Make unnecessary comments like "You're too _____ for him/her." I'm just like, well you're not the one banging so-and-so, so go about your bizness...
Well at least I say it in my head.
that actually annoys me. "if" I were to good for this or that..I'd never talk to them in the first place. Oh boy..that is a deep topic in a way, friends will happily pay for booze and smokes etc just to hang out with me. Sounds great? Who can argue against "free" stuff? Oh no..not me..hate it hate it hate it. Will find something, anything, to settle that debt..blade, ancient silver coin what have you. ATM it's an Elvis Ticket Here is why it bothers me: Dated a stripper, she terminally would not hang out with me, she just felt she was not good enough/smart enough to be with me. Green eyed libra..my one love so far in this world..she left..it devastated me..now I have trust issues. May have a daughter by her, may not, she is so gentle she never pushed it. She used to cover my eyes when well..they are really blue IP: Logged | |
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