posted June 24, 2013 11:50 AM            

So today I was thinking about how we're all different when in love, and when dealing with "love" feelings, in general.

Some people are light-hearted while others are very "complex" when it comes to relationships and all that.

I'd like to have your opinion as to why some people are too "extreme" in love - morbidly jealous, possessive, "can't live without you" type of thing.

posted June 24, 2013 12:44 PM            

For me, I cannot help it, I just drill down and find out everything I can about my love interest.

posted June 24, 2013 01:49 PM            

Maybe we're just too passionate.. "too much"

posted June 24, 2013 03:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:

Honest question deserves an honest answer:

For me, I cannot help it, I just drill down and find out everything I can about my love interest.

From shoe size to last book they read, for me love is just very very intense until they chill me out so to speak

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Mars and venus in Scorpio

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted June 24, 2013 03:34 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Too real? That person just wasn't right for you. I'd take it as a compliment. How can anyone be too real?

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posted June 24, 2013 03:37 PM            

I didn't mean 'creepy', so to speak..
But the kind of feeling that burns your chest, that gets under your skin, right through your heart.

posted June 24, 2013 04:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Thanks for the replies so far.

I didn't mean 'creepy', so to speak..
But the kind of feeling that burns your chest, that gets under your skin, right through your heart.

You know?
When you feel like dying at the thought of your beloved betraying you.

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posted June 24, 2013 04:46 PM            

I do think a big part of the problem is insecurity, yes. It is not as benign as it sounds, it is a whole vicious circle that is as unhealthy for them as it is for the person dating them. IMO they're mostly addicted to their own misery and it becomes seriously complicated because these types are generally emotionally immature. We all mistake love for other things. We are under the impression that if it's intense, it has to be love. Most of the times, like 97%, it's not. Being obsessed with someone is not love. Jealousy is not love. Controlling them is not love. Codependency is not love. These things are the opposite of love. You're basically accusing your partner of a crime he/she hasn't yet committed and perhaps never will, but the funny thing is that fear is a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is why I believe they are addicted to their own misery because most of the times they bring it on themselves, unconsciously.

posted June 24, 2013 06:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hera:
There's a sexy type of intense and there's a creepy kind of intense..

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Exactly there is careful intense then there is nutty intense!

And..give us Scorpios a break!

posted June 24, 2013 07:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hera:
There's a sexy type of intense and there's a creepy kind of intense..

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posted June 24, 2013 07:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:

I'd like to have your opinion as to why some people are too "extreme" in love - morbidly jealous, possessive, "can't live without you" type of thing.

Is it just an insecurity thing?
Why does it happen?

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I want to say...

it can be a myriad of psychological/behavioral disorders all stemming from the upbringing of the individual exhibiting these behaviors.

But... I guess that's vague. (PJ usually has better insight into the brainwashing and conditioning of youths who end up screwy later on, either due to social/religious/family/academic influences... I'm not half as suited for that type of argument. But, really it seems more than likely the insecurity or any other issue that could cause this in a person, especially when their emotions are acted on in an unhealthy way toward themselves or others or both, would be rooted in their childhood somewhere.)

>.>;

Honestly though, I was thinking about these things recently as well. We're kinda' on the same wavelength here. ^^ !

...Except... I was really just thinking how disgusted this behavior makes me, and trying to figure out why I cannot stomach watching people go through the motions of what in their mind is qualified as "love" but to all others often appears to border on "self-harm" or "psychosis".... Oo;

I was also wondering why or how one becomes so oblivious to the extremes they are functioning on during these "romances" (crushes, flings, commitments, whichever it really is)...

On one hand you have those who think their behavior is perfectly normal, although they seem to recognize they are experiencing "strong emotions" of some sort, and still they don't change or try to restrain themselves (which again, utterly confuses me)... Then on the other end of things, there are people who are soooo gosh-darn delusional, so swept away, that should you actually question them they look like deer in the headlights, and you've all of a sudden hurt them, betrayed them, (and they usually question how sane you are for not seeing what they see in their ever-oft temporary muse).... ~~~And, yet there is one other type of reaction... the crazy as a loon, who immediately turn defensive and want to rip your tongue out for ever questioning whatever /they/ believe /they/ have going on with their object of "affection". lol X_X; (I hate all three types... cannot explain why exactly, but the irrationality, lack of modesty, and lack of restraint... it just appalls me somehow, in a way it never did before... ugh)

Astrologically - I want to say my abhorrence comes from Saturn-Moon opposition.... but, really with Moon-Sun trine far more exact... no... gotta be outside of astrology this time.

I think it's just my reasoning doesn't leave room for fatalistic desires and extreme displays of affection (like I really cannot comprehend ever wanting another soul/body that much, hell I don't even want to "want" my own! it's the wanting??? is it the wanting??? idkidkidk). /sigh *crazy* >.>;

it would seem... I am an earthling after all.

posted June 24, 2013 07:32 PM            

Two completely different things.

Rationally I think love is about harmony, trust, acceptance, and all that.

But then in practice, it all goes the opposite direction.

posted June 25, 2013 04:51 AM            

thanks for elaborating!
I can see what you mean.

Faith,

We can usually get each other.

Charlie & nahyt,

Yep.. that's the kinda thing I was thinking about.
Thanks for the honest responses.

Pixie,

Very good points, I agree.

Hm I think it's a combination of things.
Intensity, passion, insecurity.. it's all mixed up.
And of course it can create lots of trouble, when it gets out of control (ask anyone who's been in a relationship with a Pluto-dominant individual, ha..).

posted June 25, 2013 07:13 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
There's a dichotomy between what I think love "should be" and what I actually feel when I get close to someone.

Two completely different things.

Rationally I think love is about harmony, trust, acceptance, and all that.

But then in practice, it all goes the opposite direction.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to "love" someone without going a bit nuts in the process.

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I guess I am a self avowed crazy person. If I get into a relationship enough to be emotionally honest, I guess I feel it should be reciprocated. But, it isn't. At least it hasn't felt like it so far.

I was told, "you have so much emotion, I can feel it come through in everything you say and do, and I just cannot deal with it right now." That is exactly what I like to hear = /
This was from a Cancer Moon, Pisces Venus & Mars, Scorpio Pluto and Saturn.

So I guess for now I've just given up, I have zero desire to be in any form of relationship or fall in love. Maybe i'm too emotionally intense and messy when it comes to love. I consider myself an empath and that definitely doesn't help me be less emotional.

Here I thought love was that a hurting partner caused hurt for you, that a happy partner caused happiness for you. To me, love is sharing. But I guess other people have different views on love. There is no universal definition.

Short version tl;dr. I'm a crazy person when it comes to love, and probably outside love too.

posted June 25, 2013 10:52 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Hi guys,

So today I was thinking about how we're all different when in love, and when dealing with "love" feelings, in general.

Some people are light-hearted while others are very "complex" when it comes to relationships and all that.

I'd like to have your opinion as to why some people are too "extreme" in love - morbidly jealous, possessive, "can't live without you" type of thing.

Is it just an insecurity thing?
Why does it happen?

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Because my Moon (emotions) is conjunct my Chiron (wound). And a loose Yod between my Neptune (fantasies), and my stellium Venus (love), Pluto (obsession), Mars (sex, anger, motivation)... all have to be expressed out that Moon/Chiron conjunction.

/nod

I have a hard time dealing with all the "love" feelings. They're a bit overwhelming and it's difficult for me to -feel- without understanding what I feel.

And I ain't even the most intense person I know when it comes to love. >.<

posted June 25, 2013 11:54 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
Because some of us are Plutonian in nature and can't help it.

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That is a great answer, AC xx

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal