posted July 03, 2013 06:21 PM            

I can’t stand being myself. I’m filled with so much contempt and disgust for my personality and the way I act and behave. It’s no wonder others don’t want to be around me. I’ve lost interest in the things that once brought me pleasure. I spend most of my time fantasizing about being different and living a different life. Whenever I come back to reality everything brings me pain. I don’t wish I was dead because I know what consequences that would bring. However I do wish I never existed. I just want to disappear and have everything I’ve done and everyone’s memory of me be erased.

I feel worthless and pathetic and I hate myself even more when I want attention and affection because I think I don’t deserve it. Besides I never get it anyway. Everyone else gets sympathy except for me. No matter how much I suffer no one seems to notice or care. If they ever happen to notice all I get is “you have to be strong” or other nonsense like that. Maybe because I keep my emotions quiet and bottled up they think I don’t need help. I’m tired of always being the “strong” one, facing all of this alone. For once I want someone to acknowledge that I’m in pain and I’m suffering and I’m the one that needs to be saved not the one that saves. Even the people I help ignore me when the tables are turned.

The scary part is that I’ve been feeling like this ever since I can remember. It’s just that now it’s getting more and more intense which makes me fear that I’ll feel this way my whole life. I’m tired, I’m tired of being alone and uncared for.

I’m very well aware that this thread has little to do with astrology. Why am I posting? Because right now this is the only place where I actually socialize. I’ve been off DeviantART for a while, Tumblr just doesn’t care and as for real life I can’t find anyone…

posted July 03, 2013 06:25 PM            

Must be something in the air right now.

I know how you feel, trust me, I do.

If you wanna talk, just send me an email - you can find my address on the Astrology for Beginners forum.

posted July 03, 2013 06:50 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
I sympathize! You can always come to LL and talk

Hopefully, you will feel better in a few hours or a day or two. Meanwhile, try to take your mind off it. What about your artwork? That's a good place to channel your energy!

---

posted July 03, 2013 06:51 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
I posted something similar a few days ago, meyray.

Must be something in the air right now.

I know how you feel, trust me, I do.

If you wanna talk, just send me an email - you can find my address on the Astrology for Beginners forum.

I'd love to talk to you, but only if you want to.

---

posted July 03, 2013 07:25 PM            

It's just that it's late here and it gets lonely at night especially.

I need a hug filled with love.

Anyone reading this come give me a hug, will you.

Will be forever thankful.

posted July 03, 2013 07:30 PM            

Aww. Fate reuniting us over and over again..

Thanks for the kiss and squeeze, babe.

posted July 03, 2013 09:06 PM            

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted July 03, 2013 09:50 PM            

Ami your my friend your so interesting person as all Geminis i guess lol

posted July 03, 2013 10:06 PM            

PS. Know that you are never alone! There will always be a forum such as this, with people awake 24/7, to whom you can just spill your guts to without having to fear being left alone due to non-mainstream ideas.

posted July 04, 2013 03:44 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by meyray:
Loneliness is killing me. I’ve always been a loner but lately I feel severely ignored. More than usual. I have little friends in real life and now most of them are too busy to deal with me. Online friends are snubbing me as well.

I can’t stand being myself. I’m filled with so much contempt and disgust for my personality and the way I act and behave. It’s no wonder others don’t want to be around me. I’ve lost interest in the things that once brought me pleasure. I spend most of my time fantasizing about being different and living a different life. Whenever I come back to reality everything brings me pain. I don’t wish I was dead because I know what consequences that would bring. However I do wish I never existed. I just want to disappear and have everything I’ve done and everyone’s memory of me be erased.

I feel worthless and pathetic and I hate myself even more when I want attention and affection because I think I don’t deserve it. Besides I never get it anyway. Everyone else gets sympathy except for me. No matter how much I suffer no one seems to notice or care. If they ever happen to notice all I get is “you have to be strong” or other nonsense like that. Maybe because I keep my emotions quiet and bottled up they think I don’t need help. I’m tired of always being the “strong” one, facing all of this alone. For once I want someone to acknowledge that I’m in pain and I’m suffering and I’m the one that needs to be saved not the one that saves. Even the people I help ignore me when the tables are turned.

The scary part is that I’ve been feeling like this ever since I can remember. It’s just that now it’s getting more and more intense which makes me fear that I’ll feel this way my whole life. I’m tired, I’m tired of being alone and uncared for.

I’m very well aware that this thread has little to do with astrology. Why am I posting? Because right now this is the only place where I actually socialize. I’ve been off DeviantART for a while, Tumblr just doesn’t care and as for real life I can’t find anyone…

A long time ago I read in a thread that Scorpio, Capricorn, Leo and Taurus will never get sympathy from anyone. They will always have to help themselves because everyone thinks of them as the strongest and being a victim doesn’t become them. We’re still human and it hurts, it ******* hurts.

---

My thoughts exactly.

posted July 04, 2013 04:34 AM            

I'm so sorry you're all feeling so lonely and not getting the support in real life you're looking for. If it's any help (and not too creepy from a fairly new member), based on how I've seen you guys talk here, I would've never guessed your social life isn't happy and totally active.

This really sounds like me whenever I ask people for support, never mind that I drop whatever I'm doing just to be there for them when they need me. *sigh* The overdoing for everyone, yeah, I get it.

I could quote your whole post, but this part especially struck home with me:

quote:

---

Originally posted by meyray:
I feel worthless and pathetic and I hate myself even more when I want attention and affection because I think I don’t deserve it. Besides I never get it anyway. Everyone else gets sympathy except for me. No matter how much I suffer no one seems to notice or care. If they ever happen to notice all I get is “you have to be strong” or other nonsense like that. Maybe because I keep my emotions quiet and bottled up they think I don’t need help. I’m tired of always being the “strong” one, facing all of this alone. For once I want someone to acknowledge that I’m in pain and I’m suffering and I’m the one that needs to be saved not the one that saves. Even the people I help ignore me when the tables are turned.

The scary part is that I’ve been feeling like this ever since I can remember. It’s just that now it’s getting more and more intense which makes me fear that I’ll feel this way my whole life. I’m tired, I’m tired of being alone and uncared for.

I’m very well aware that this thread has little to do with astrology. Why am I posting? Because right now this is the only place where I actually socialize. I’ve been off DeviantART for a while, Tumblr just doesn’t care and as for real life I can’t find anyone…

A long time ago I read in a thread that Scorpio, Capricorn, Leo and Taurus will never get sympathy from anyone. They will always have to help themselves because everyone thinks of them as the strongest and being a victim doesn’t become them. We’re still human and it hurts, it ******* hurts.

---

I'm quite shocked how harshly people react to you. True, you do have feelings and you just want them acknowledged. This all really sounds like you've overdone for other people for just too long. Please find a way to withdraw from them and don't reach out to them anymore, not even out of curiosity. The non-reaction tends to rip whatever confidence you still have to shreds. Emotionally withdrawing, though, that's the tough part.

Is it possible you can cut off contact with them, at least for a month or so? It doesn't get better (lol I wish!), but at least you don't feel like you're wasting your time, the whole, "Why am I doing this anyway?" I'm sure you wouldn't feel half this bad if at least one of these people would still reply to you and put in the effort to keep in touch.

It's totally understandable you don't feel like doing anything anymore. Isn't it the worst to lose interest in something you once loved? Bleh. Always feels like part of me is dying. Just take a break and don't force yourself. Once the lovin' feeling comes back, you'll know.

This does make me wonder if we all have some aspects in common.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
It's just that it's late here and it gets lonely at night especially.

---

This especially. Ugh, again, I'm really sorry. I know the feeling. Do you have a pet or some sort you can keep with you? I know it's not human being you could trust, but it helps to have someone around. <3

You'll all get a huge from me. *hugs tight*

posted July 04, 2013 05:43 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by meyray:
Loneliness is killing me. I’ve always been a loner but lately I feel severely ignored. More than usual. I have little friends in real life and now most of them are too busy to deal with me. Online friends are snubbing me as well.

I can’t stand being myself. I’m filled with so much contempt and disgust for my personality and the way I act and behave. It’s no wonder others don’t want to be around me. I’ve lost interest in the things that once brought me pleasure. I spend most of my time fantasizing about being different and living a different life. Whenever I come back to reality everything brings me pain. I [b]don’t wish I was dead because I know what consequences that would bring. However I do wish I never existed. I just want to disappear and have everything I’ve done and everyone’s memory of me be erased.

I feel worthless and pathetic and I hate myself even more when I want attention and affection because I think I don’t deserve it. Besides I never get it anyway. Everyone else gets sympathy except for me. No matter how much I suffer no one seems to notice or care. If they ever happen to notice all I get is “you have to be strong” or other nonsense like that. Maybe because I keep my emotions quiet and bottled up they think I don’t need help. I’m tired of always being the “strong” one, facing all of this alone. For once I want someone to acknowledge that I’m in pain and I’m suffering and I’m the one that needs to be saved not the one that saves. Even the people I help ignore me when the tables are turned.

The scary part is that I’ve been feeling like this ever since I can remember. It’s just that now it’s getting more and more intense which makes me fear that I’ll feel this way my whole life. I’m tired, I’m tired of being alone and uncared for.

I’m very well aware that this thread has little to do with astrology. Why am I posting? Because right now this is the only place where I actually socialize. I’ve been off DeviantART for a while, Tumblr just doesn’t care and as for real life I can’t find anyone…

A long time ago I read in a thread that Scorpio, Capricorn, Leo and Taurus will never get sympathy from anyone. They will always have to help themselves because everyone thinks of them as the strongest and being a victim doesn’t become them. We’re still human and it hurts, it ******* hurts.[/B]

---

You know, I believe I am the one who created that stupid **** thread, and I wish I never did.

But this is about you. It does not help, but I have been where you are. And I just want to tell you that if you need someone to vent or talk to, I'm usually around lurking on these threads. I know how it feels to open up to people, only to get told that you need therapy, get over it, blah blah blah... it is easier said than done. And in any case, all we need sometimes is someone to listen to us.

posted July 04, 2013 06:50 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lazyscarecrow:
You know, I believe I am the one who created that stupid **** thread, and I wish I never did.

---

Please don't say that Scarecrow =(

If you hadn't taken that step to admit how you felt, there would be people in this thread who may not have had the courage to say how they felt.

There is nothing wrong with feeling left out and unheard. People by nature are social and want to be with other people. Feeling alone is a really unpleasant feeling.

posted July 04, 2013 07:05 AM            

Except I don't voice it out.

posted July 04, 2013 07:33 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aries Eagle:
Big hug to every one

Ami your my friend your so interesting person as all Geminis i guess lol

take care

---

Thank you, Aries Eagle. You are my friend, too

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted July 04, 2013 12:13 PM            

I hope you guys are feeling better.