posted July 18, 2013 03:52 PM            

Really, I felt like I did not deserve to be angry. I felt I had to watch out for the other person, whomever that may be.

I have not talked to my parents for about 3 months.

My father called last night and he spoke to another family member here and not me.

I felt torn with guilt for all the good things he did for me, in my life, but I am so angry at him for betraying me.

When I really needed him in an abusive relationship, he sided with the abuser and did so behind my back. That is a synopsis of a long story

However, my son told me to honor my feelings or I won't be healthy.

I kind of shifted in a major way. Does anyone understand?

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posted July 18, 2013 04:07 PM            

I am experiencing a lot of anger too right now. But all I can do is cry, in fact, I just feel myself breaking into tears at the moment. Ugh....

posted July 18, 2013 05:11 PM            

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posted July 18, 2013 06:11 PM            

(And we are all here to support one another.... Cheer and guide... Your fans, your 'cloud of witnesses'... )

Warm hello to asclibrasagsun

Transiting Hades-Mars-BML-Jupiter conjuncts in our CANCER water house right now, and this is amplified by the superb grand water trines.

Scorpio depths have arrived... with NorthNode and Saturn travelling through our Scorpio Houses.

All this water! This ramps-up and connects all passions, wonts, needs, the needs for home, security, for family and tribe, for connections and information and pride of ancestry, the comfort of the old traditions and rituals handed by our DNA and childhood learning environment from generations....

Ami, JUNO is Scorp for you? It's where we get the chance to re-claim our power. It's about the disenfranchised.

Transiting URANUS in Aries stationed Retrograde.... re-appearances of people from our past?

Not all will be good. Not all will be bad. But we must have a posture of a movie theatre audience. Participate as though we're IN the movie and watching it at the same time.

We respond with the array of our feelings--

NOTHING we feel MUST be 'permanent'... We are NOT required to "build on" our Future with any of these energy patterns flowing right now.

Look objectively at the lights on the Lighting-Board as patterns get energized and tested in sequences and complements. Tears and outrageous angers, joys, longings, emptiness, deaths, missing elements, jealousies and cruel resentments.

The focus right now is like those 'entertainment' rides in sophisticated amusement parks.... Where you're in the secure vehicle. The vehicle is on a prescribed track. Things and events will keep moving by the mechanics programmed and in-play. It's on a designed planned-path.

We sit as guests and owners in the watcher's seat. Ghosts can materialize with sense-surround realism, but these are 'holograms'.... Your brain and your body are 'responding' to the stimulation they are receiving...

These Holograms appear... and they 'contain' (object & verb) the germ of the 'complete' memory in its every spore... You are seeing your Life flash before your eyes.... and going PAST it!! Just view. Just receive the info, cry, laugh, get angry... Just don't get out of your seat and go "acting-out" on it. It's just for your "experience" only. But experience-it you must, as much as you can safely handle.

We JUST "be" there.... The old adventures are going bye-bye. Wonder!.... Pain!... Resolve and Learning.... It shall pass away. Then you will emerge into a New world....and be able to "see" that it is only a "theme park" after all.

The Feelings and the Experience is only TEMPORARY... Enjoy the ride!

mwah hahahaha............. teehee

posted July 18, 2013 06:31 PM            

Was just thinking this myself this morning..

Where did all this anger come from?

I have never been an angry person, but have had alot of anger, recently.

But, I realize it and am working on it.

And after hanging out at the honkey-tonk last night, reminded myself that I do not need to be around angry people....

posted July 18, 2013 06:37 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by hippichick:
WOW!

Was just thinking this myself this morning..

Where did all this anger come from?

I have never been an angry person, but have had alot of anger, recently.

But, I realize it and am working on it.

And after hanging out at the honkey-tonk last night, reminded myself that I do not need to be around angry people....

Great thread!!!

---

Thank you, Terri. I think we ARE angry if we have been in abusive relationships and had abusive childhoods but we are afraid of it.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted July 18, 2013 07:05 PM            

Find alot of peace in music..

This song came to mind....

And it is helping already...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThqUJfwrg3o

posted July 18, 2013 09:19 PM            

I am gonna explain everything that is going on.

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posted July 18, 2013 09:28 PM            

I have been badly betrayed but instead of being angry, I feel like I have to feel sorry for the betrayers.

I feel like I can't be angry. I feel that it makes me a bad, selfish person.

I don't feel like I can be angry. I feel guilt over anger. Hence, I am frozen in a posture of "nice rage"

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posted July 18, 2013 09:34 PM            

speechless.

I will become the witness to myself and observe the next time I find myself in a state of rage...hopefully wont be too many more..

But I will thank you again, for this thread....has made me look at an unknown, sneaky demon within me that I never knew I had!

Looking her straight in the face....

Go ahead and try to challenge me...Ms. Anger....were on!

posted July 18, 2013 09:36 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by asclibrasagsun:
Aw Ami I know how you feel! I think I feel the same way.
For me its more like "how can I be angry?! it is so stupid! just ignore it! *bottles up inside*"

---

Yes. Thank you AscLibra
I am a Libra ASC, too. I don't know what happened to allow me to step back from myself.

I have been listening to a teacher Kenneth Hagin who had an NDE. People who have had NDEs are truly different from other people.

Their egos are not so tightly wound.

My ego was telling me I had to be perfect. Perfect people don't have killer rage.

Perfect people are "bigger" than other people but I HAD killer rage

I just could not admit it!

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted July 18, 2013 09:44 PM            

Anyone can talk politically correct.

What is the risk in that? To be honest is a real risk that someone will get mad but I have a commitment to be honest and force myself to do this when I do charts, readings etc.

I have one client who has become a friend. One day, I was super honest with her and it was hard for her to take.

I asked her to be honest with me. She said you are "too nice" and it seems frozen and in that sense "weird"

I was taken aback and kind of hurt but honesty is honesty. It hurts to receive it.

I put this in the back of my mind but NOW I see what she meant.

I was really afraid of my anger.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted July 18, 2013 09:53 PM            

As a sensitive this can get tricky and takes strength, honesty with oneself and wisdom to decipher. Over time you become more adept at realizing what is truly yours and what might be coming from another.

posted July 18, 2013 11:34 PM            

was just thinking about how easy it can be to get sucked back into abusive relationships (even online) that are similar to ones in which you grew up in. I think they are tests.

I think with time and age you learn how to deal with them better and they discontinue to phase you as much. I was dealing with someone earlier who was reminding me of a manipulative family member. Years ago, it might have upset me, but I saw it for what it was and dealt with it with knowledge and experience this time. I couldnt get upset because it reminded me so much of what I was used to and learned so much about. It's hard not to have compassion for certain people even when they are trying to trip you up and push your buttons. Especially when you have dealt with the same energy from family members before. So, I dealt with it better equipped this time...and quickly put it to bed.

Again, it's not always your anger...(because I really don't have anger towards this person), but you can easily get sucked into their issues or angry web, if you arent careful or strong.

posted July 18, 2013 11:40 PM            

Sometimes people actually enjoy the drama of it all and continue to go back - or they don't know how to break that cycle or dysfunctional relationship off once and for all.

posted July 19, 2013 03:29 AM            

What POWER! and 'transparency'....

It's about blood and guts, and boundaried expressive energy. How wonderful. " I AM "

Anger is like Lightning. Lightning is natural. It's a living beneficial force. It cleanses the atmosphere. Ions.

posted July 19, 2013 03:30 AM            

Split those, deal separately.

posted July 19, 2013 07:47 AM            

Do you know how he died?

God told him that he would die on a certain morning at 10 AM. He ate his fave breakfast--strawberries, sat down on his easy chair with his paper and died.

His whole life is a testimony that God is real and God is there

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posted July 19, 2013 07:49 AM            

Can you live it from your belly button. Only then does it matter.

I am not trying to diss T or anyone but talk don't mean $#$#.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted July 19, 2013 08:06 AM            

quote:

---

was just thinking about how easy it can be to get sucked back into abusive relationships (even online) that are similar to ones in which you grew up in. I think they are tests.

---

T, I really agree with this. I see those who have been abused repeating actions to get another to abuse them. It seems like there is a hole in them unless they are being abused. They bully, lie, cheat and back stab to get the abusive attention.

When they get it, they scream and cry foul but I notice soon, they are right back to the very same behavior.

Repetitive , pitiful and best not to get sucked into because as long as someone will play along or believe the garbage, they will never function as whole.

posted July 19, 2013 08:24 AM            

Head talk is as cheap as salt water in the ocean. Wise people have a heart answer.

Arrogant people have a bossy, haughty answer.

That type of 'advice" helps as much as salt water when you are thirsty.

If you help people Juni, that is great but your words to me sound angry, bitter and accusatory.

Some of my role models as far as advice from a warm heart, wisdom and maturity are Randall, IQ and Lalalinda. They never put people down in the guise of "helping"

They are wise people and they offer a heart, not a cold head

Blessings to you, Juni

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted July 19, 2013 08:46 AM            

I have not overcome my problems, so am writing this thread to interact with people who understand and care to offer a caring response.

Lets move on, please so I don't have to close the thread

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted July 19, 2013 08:55 AM            

Anyone else been in this situation and are struggling with it?

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posted July 19, 2013 12:37 PM            

I think that when one's anger gets muted and distorted from abuse(usually) one is really lost to oneself and life won't work in a healthy way.

I think being lost to one's anger is one thing that gets one into abusive relationships. One should get angry many times along the way but does not listen,usually.

I think one's anger is a healthy gift from God. I think it shows us when to repel people who are out to hurt us. I think it is a God given defense mechanism as is the cell wall to the single cell.

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