posted August 11, 2013 10:13 PM            

So a 2009 OK Cupid study..surprised the heck out of me:

quote:

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As you can see from the gray line, women rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium. Very harsh. On the other hand, when it comes to actual messaging, women shift their expectations only just slightly ahead of the curve, which is a healthier pattern than guys’ pursuing the all-but-unattainable. But with the basic ratings so out-of-whack, the two curves together suggest some strange possibilities for the female thought process, the most salient of which is that the average-looking woman has convinced herself that the vast majority of males aren’t good enough for her, but she then goes right out and messages them anyway.

Just to illustrate that women are operating on a very different scale, here are just a few of the many, many guys we here in the office think are totally decent-looking, but that women have rated, in their occult way, as significantly less attractive than so-called “medium”

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Now the bloggers line up to illustrate their point, tbh, they look like dorks, the guy with the guitar looks cool, otherwise..have to say they do.

I rarely notice such things, however it is a comparison and subject to opinion..to me..dorks.

Anywho, to my practical nature of thinking, it would then mean:

A) stay off "OKstupid"..err..."OKCupid"
B) stay away from internet "dating" *with a few caveats
C) Hmm, not to beat anyone over the head with this analysis, it would seem women who online date have high high standards*

B)* depends on the area, a more rural area imo would mean the sort of cynicism of the large town MAY not be present.

C) IMO, online dating is not particularly a female genre' as they ime catch a sort of vibe from someone in person, lacking that all that is left is to go on looks as much as possible that way a self validation can occur "at least they are attractive".

posted August 11, 2013 10:26 PM            

quote:

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Now the bloggers line up to illustrate their point, tbh, they look like dorks, the guy with the guitar looks cool, otherwise...

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posted August 11, 2013 10:42 PM            

quote:

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the two curves together suggest some strange possibilities for the female thought process, the most salient of which is that the average-looking woman has convinced herself that the vast majority of males aren’t good enough for her

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I don't think you can infer that just because someone rates someone else as below average, that they also consider them as not good enough for themselves. They were rating attractiveness, not whether or not they were date-able, no? If anything, I think you can infer that women are more open to people regardless of attractiveness considering that their two curves are closely aligned compared to the men's, which show they clamour to attractive women.

posted August 11, 2013 10:48 PM            

I agree with that SE, b/c from what I've seen women and just a picture on a dating website does not mean what the writer imputes it to mean.

It is not that the ladies think they are above the "80%" it is more there simply is not enough to go on to make a decision one way or another so imo, they just play it "safe" and go with raw attractiveness.

posted August 11, 2013 10:54 PM              

guitar hero does look cool. so that doesn't fly with chicks?

posted August 11, 2013 10:59 PM            

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Originally posted by lulz:
wait we r dudes rating dudes now?

guitar hero does look cool. so that doesn't fly with chicks?

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Eh, not normally, however the article does point out men tend to be far more objective when it comes to such things.

If one has been around woman long enough tho, one dead tip off they like you is if they ask you if so and so looks "hot" or what have you...

posted August 11, 2013 11:03 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
If one has been around woman long enough tho, one dead tip off they like you is if they ask you if so and so looks "hot" or what have you...

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posted August 11, 2013 11:05 PM            

What I mean is, it doesn't look like they're worrying about how they look or working to be more attractive all of the time which probably gives them more time to do things that actually make them interesting.

Attractiveness based on symmetry is one thing but attractiveness based on connection is another.

The women rating these men might be basing their opinions on symmetry alone, not on companionship. This would explain why they message the men even though they've rated them average or worse.

Problems in life usually have solutions. Aquaguy is either looking at his problem from the wrong direction, not arriving at the correct solution or he's caught in some sort of illusion, no matter the direction he's viewing his problem.

I don't recall him speaking of online dating though. Even if he does, I personally have found him very offensive and being someone that has had success in forging online relationships, I wouldn't ever approach him in a romantic way. This is coming from a woman that doesn't think those men look like "dorks" while the two men above me have rated them as such.

posted August 11, 2013 11:09 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lulz:
doh i've never been asked that!

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You young..er..."Lulz"...

I see your "lulz" and raise you a "lol!" Sir!

It's sort of the female way of trying to generate jealousy.

Back on point, even being generous, online dating at "OKCupid" does seem to revolve around raw attractiveness.

posted August 11, 2013 11:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MsPrism:
I don't think any of those guys look like "dorks." They look like they have interests other than just looking in the mirror though.

What I mean is, it doesn't look like they're worrying about how they look or working to be more attractive all of the time which probably gives them more time to do things that actually make them interesting.

Attractiveness based on symmetry is one thing but attractiveness based on connection is another.

The women rating these men might be basing their opinions on symmetry alone, not on companionship. This would explain why they message the men even though they've rated them average or worse.

Problems in life usually have solutions. Aquaguy is either looking at his problem from the wrong direction, not arriving at the correct solution or he's caught in some sort of illusion, no matter the direction he's viewing his problem.

I don't recall him speaking of online dating though. Even if he does, I personally have found him very offensive and being someone that has had success in forging online relationships, I wouldn't ever approach him in a romantic way. This is coming from a woman that doesn't think those men look like "dorks" while the two men above me have rated them as such.

We can all immediately recognize symmetrical beauty but that doesn't always have the last say in our choice of partner. If I was a betting woman, I'd say that it usually doesn't.

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Ms Prism, when other men look at a picture and say "yep, dorks" it is not by accident.

And this is not to que AG up for a "slapathon" not at all, the point is more to try and inform AG, and everyone else who may be doing online dating, how tough it actually can be.

posted August 11, 2013 11:12 PM            

I live in california and most the guys I got to college with are above average, a lot of hotties.

A lot of people in my high school were really attractive too.
Guys and girls.

posted August 11, 2013 11:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
Maybe on dating sites..?
leeees be honest people who need dating sites probably don't have much game....

I live in california and most the guys I got to college with are above average, a lot of hotties.

A lot of people in my high school were really attractive too.
Guys and girls.

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Ms Prism does have a point, symmetry does play a huge huge role in what is found attractive or unattractive.

I've heard that it's less then 5mm.

However, raw attractiveness is not the be all end all, it's merely a starting point.

And I've met plenty of boilers from Cali btw.

posted August 11, 2013 11:18 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
Maybe on dating sites..?
leeees be honest people who need dating sites probably don't have much game....

I live in california and most the guys I got to college with are above average, a lot of hotties.

A lot of people in my high school were really attractive too.
Guys and girls.

Yeah... I love my state.

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posted August 11, 2013 11:20 PM            

angelboy is okay, I don't like his hair...

Charleybears is cute but I don't like his shoulders..
maybe it's his posture..?

posted August 11, 2013 11:26 PM            

I think he's pretty cute.

posted August 11, 2013 11:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
^
I've dated better..
but were talking about aesthetics not personality which is a game changer...

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Which is my point, with just a pic to go on, what else can a decision be based on?

posted August 11, 2013 11:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lulz:
i've lived in san fo. let me check... the suburb of hayward. my grandparents took residency there or sth.

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posted August 11, 2013 11:29 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
angelboy is okay, I don't like his hair..

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posted August 11, 2013 11:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lulz:
charleybears is a nice online name! u cray not to bang him for that alone! #cmon

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My goodness "lulz" did you not know that females will, absolutely, nickname men?

Mine is currently "thighs" and they are not speaking of chicken on the BBQ, it's from biking everywhere..