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Author
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Topic: Conspiracy against being happily single?
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Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2323
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted August 14, 2013 11:21 AM
  
This is irksome, and if you are single you've surely heard it: "Why don't you just find "X" and "settle down"? Or: "Will they make an honest (man or woman) out of them"? Or "Why aren't you married yet"? It's as if there is a grand conspiracy (half joking) among those in relationships to make sure everyone else is in one to. I'm a Saggie sun, which is the "Bachelor" sign, and quite happy to be single yet this seems so bizarre to those who have been discovered their own version of domestic bliss/servitude. For me, being single is just far more fun, and liberating. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 5286
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted August 14, 2013 11:29 AM
It goes against tradition is all. IP: Logged |
asclibrasagsun
Knowflake Posts: 2144
From: Mälmo, Sweden
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted August 14, 2013 11:52 AM
I love us Sagittarius suns we are great
I would prefer to be in a partnership though right now, sick of being single, want to find a nice Sagittarius man to have fun with...
IP: Logged |
somethingexcellent
Knowflake Posts: 2385
From: vodka fine, I'm so divine
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted August 14, 2013 11:54 AM
If you're not partnered, you're not procreating stably, which is just biological drive I suppose. I agree with hannaramaa though, it's mostly tradition.Did you graduate school yet?
Did you go to college/uni yet?
Do you have a car yet?
Do you have a house yet?
Are you married yet?
Do you have children yet? IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 5730
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted August 14, 2013 12:21 PM
More than that. There are other side implications. My boss wears a wedding ring even though he has never been married and is not gay. Not being married is bad for the career in my field. Actually, having been married and now divorced seems to be optimal for the career path. lolIP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 45479
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 14, 2013 12:24 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
It goes against tradition is all.
Yes!
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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 5286
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted August 14, 2013 12:51 PM
I get really irritated at those comments though. I hear them more often as I age, especially from grandparents. Of course they get a pass, but strangers (like neighbors or my father's associates...) I would like to tell to bug off. I've never understood where people find the nerve to poke around in other's private matters when they aren't on "that" level!I almost think single people represent some kind of threat to those coupled. Like they are an influence or catalyst in their own relationship. As if they think "Oh, Bob better not hang around that single guy Joe or he'll leave me." which really highlights a lack of trust between partners. Hence where all the prodding comes from, but that's just me going on a whim of thought. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 45479
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 14, 2013 12:59 PM
You know what the most intrusive thing was? When you have one child and everyone asks when you are going to have another  ------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 4444
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted August 14, 2013 01:05 PM
Well deep down we all want someone..
Maybe not a marriage or children but just someone to love.So yeah this is why people get worried if someone is single for a long time because that idea is scary for most humans. But we say things like this while were single to keep us going...
Which is fine!! continuing to enjoy being single.
It can be stress free and sometimes that's more desirable
Too bad I hated every minute of it  ..
Most people I know get drunk and start to whine about being single.
Like Se said it's our biological drive. IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 4444
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted August 14, 2013 01:06 PM
dp.IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 7266
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 14, 2013 01:42 PM
I hate when people ask those questions. People ask "do you have a girlfriend?" or "where is your girlfriend?" They are stupid because the answer to their question is usually obvious. If someone has a partner chances are you are going to hear about them if you talk to the person more than 5 minutes and that makes asking these types of questions useless.IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 9912
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 14, 2013 02:33 PM
Recently i read a comment here that said something to the effect of... there being a reason why miserable people end up single....I scratched my head and wondered.....What is wrong with being single?? as if that was punishment, or an indicator on someone's character, or as though it's not ideal to be single in this world, or that everyone obviously wants to be in a relationship, so someone who isnt in a relationship is somehow flawed or a bad person. Some people choose not to be in one. Whether it be for a short or long time period in their life. There is nothing wrong with it. I've met more happy single people than happy people in relationships (Saturn in 7th perhaps). I for one, love singledom. And that is not because it allows me to play the field or do whatever I want to. I love it so much that I don't even want to bother with flings or flirtations at this point in my life and never have, for that matter. And it's something that has always felt natural and more comfortable. I have felt sorry for many friends that could not be alone with themselves and jumped from one relationship to another sometimes with no break in between. I guess there's nothing wrong with that either......if you can't stand yourself - being alone with yourself or need a partner to feel whole and normal.  IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 5569
From: teaselb@gmail.com
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 14, 2013 03:36 PM
There were a few years when I wanted to be in a happy, stable, fun relationship... I haven't had the opportunity, though. I was happy single, in the past, and mostly am now. Getting into a relationship wouldn't fix the rest of my life, and I think I'm more likely to end up in a bad one if I'm not in a good place at the time. I don't know.. I don't see any pluses to being partnered. there are no guarantees it will work out. It would have been nice to experience when I was younger, though. IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 5569
From: teaselb@gmail.com
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 14, 2013 03:38 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
Well deep down we all want someone..
Maybe not a marriage or children but just someone to love.
Actually, deep down, I just want to be happy in my own skin, and in my life. I get what you're saying - I just want to make sure that I'll be fine by myself. Not dependent on anyone being there. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 2763
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 14, 2013 03:46 PM
Interesting enough an Aunt told me it was "suspicious" that I wasn't married with kids of my own yet (then age 28), and everyone present seemed to agree. The Texas heat made us all cranky, however, and after I snapped back at her (dripping sarcasm as I asked for her advice since she was such an "expert" given that she was on her 3rd husband with kids by each one) no one seemed inclined to bring it up again (though I have yet to visit again).IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 31501
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 14, 2013 03:49 PM
If you're not happy being alone, you won't truly be happy being with someone else. No one can complete you. You can only share your completeness with another. And that can give birth to a new entity of sorts (a relationship), which if based on the right foundation can grow into something wonderful shared by both if nurtured properly. But thinking that you won't be happy unless you find someone is an effort in futility. "You" is a general reference and not directed towards anyone. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 2444
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted August 14, 2013 06:26 PM
I'm 100% with you on this Padre. I think some people in relationships imagine that it's the best thing for everyone. I had a conversation with a female friend who recently got married and she was saying she could never be happy single.. and she was very surprised when I told her that I was.
There are many explanations I guess.. I could see maybe more traditional women falling under the impression that they cannot or shouldn't have sex outside a relationship. So if some of them also happen to have a high sex drive coupled with the belief that casual sex is wrong - they might think they need a relationship for this reason. This was the impression I got from this particular friend: Cap/Scorpio Moon ... Venus conj Mars in Pisces.. coincidentally born and brought up in Texas (which is known for its traditional society).
Others (male or female) might think its the best thing to do from a financial perspective. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 2444
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted August 14, 2013 06:28 PM
 Randall! That was very well said and very true!IP: Logged |
Astro keen
Knowflake Posts: 888
From: UK
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted August 14, 2013 06:38 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
If you're not happy being alone, you won't truly be happy being with someone else. No one can complete you. You can only share your completeness with another. And that can give birth to a new entity of sorts (a relationship), which if based on the right foundation can grow into something wonderful shared by both if nurtured properly. But thinking that you won't be happy unless you find someone is an effort in futility. "You" is a general reference and not directed towards anyone.
Randall, well said. I've probably hold the record for being single for the longest number of years and what do/did I miss, even as a fairly 'complete' person? It's the sense of sharing and togetherness, being appreciated, mutual caring etc., which is all wonderful. If one can have that alongside, in whatever form that might take, then life is truly complete.
IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 2444
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted August 14, 2013 06:50 PM
Kero - So if someone tells you they are happily single and have no fears at all about that - would you imagine they were lying to you?I get this reaction sometimes where people imagine I'm lying. And what reasons would I have? lol
It's a rhetorical question because I can think of the kinds of 'reasons' they have in mind. I just think its all - whatever! If I'm happy .. I know I'm happy - it's all good. If someone wants to imagine I'm unhappy it's their prerogative to imagine whatever they like. IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2323
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted August 14, 2013 06:53 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
Kero - So if someone tells you they are happily single and have no fears at all about that - would you imagine they were lying to you?I get this reaction sometimes where people imagine I'm lying. And what reasons would I have? lol
It's a rhetorical question because I can think of the kinds of 'reasons' they have in mind. I just think its all - whatever! If I'm happy .. I know I'm happy - it's all good. If someone wants to imagine I'm unhappy it's their prerogative to imagine whatever they like.
Spot on, it's as if devotees of the Cult of Coupledom have found a "single one" so they go to work immediately trying to convince the single one that "it takes two". IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 9912
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 14, 2013 07:01 PM
I didnt realize there were so many of us here. LOL  I've come to a point where i've had a number of beautiful relationships and some not so beautiful ones. Lots of learning and lots of single time in between and find I really enjoy the single time quite a bit. I don't feel I am lacking or missing out on anything when I am single and as one gets older, you care less what anyone else thinks of you, especially you being single. I enjoy my own company....maybe a little too much sometimes. Oops! lol Still, I am not against having a relationship, i just at this point don't see it happening and am not seeking it out. I know exactly what I want and will not waste any more time with someone who doesnt fit the bill. Thankfully I am perfectly content on my own, even if I stayed single til I died, I would enjoy it and it might be for the best. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 9912
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 14, 2013 07:05 PM
It probably helps that I don't want children either. And have never found myself dreaming of having a big beautiful wedding....  I'm a frickin alien. LOLIP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2323
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted August 14, 2013 07:06 PM
I'm not opposed to being in a relationship, as I've grown wiser and more experienced my filter has gotten more tuned into what and who I want in my life and what I can do without easily.IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 9912
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 14, 2013 07:08 PM
Exactly.IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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