posted August 16, 2013 07:37 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 16, 2013 07:46 PM            

But I think there's a point to living (otherwise I wouldn't be). Lots of good to go with the bad. And as I recorded to myself on December 18, 2005 (emphasis added in italics):

quote:

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I had gotten off the comp this morn when a friend that I had just emailed a few minutes before called (since she knew I was up). She wanted us to go surfing with them. Having just gotten over a flu, I was thinking of saying no, but my roomie really wanted to go, so I agreed.

I am so glad for that.

We surfed as normal and the lingering depression and such from fighting off the flu was banished and I really enjoyed myself and the company. The morn was cloudy, but it was still beautiful, with fog in the distant hills, and the ocean itself vanishing off into the distant mists. There was rain, but it was very light--I'm not even sure it counts as rain. And hardly matters when you're in a wetsuit anyway.

And then the wind picked up. Friends had a wonderful idea, to try windsurfing. This was interesting, and I wasn't sure about it, having never done it before. When I finally tried, it took me some minutes just to not fall over, though they said I picked it up really fast. It was difficult because I had to hold my feet differently, and dealing with the harness. But at some point, WHOOSH, the SPEED! I couldn't help it: I screamed with joy, and I was SO glad we had come.

And then the sun broke through.... not direct, but close. The water turned from gray to aqua, and I was suddenly recalling when I was like 6-10, how I'd get up before Mom & Dad (and often before dawn back then) and go outside and explore, play, go to friend's houses.... I felt so free and there was a stark beauty to life that I rarely feel (at least sober) since I guess I became a teen. And then I surpassed even that, and I reached a state that was nothing less than ecstasy, I'd say on par (though distinct and different in its own way) to mind altering dancing or sex, and perhaps even more fulfilling in its own way.

If there was any doubt about fighting to survive the dark times in my life, it was dispelled at this moment of utter beauty in which I lived totally within this miraculous moment, my shout and my heart praising the Goddess of Life and for this moment in Life, one that was worth every horror and ache I had endured just to be here. Tears came down my face (just a few), and I knew that when I die, should my life flash before my eyes, this exact moment will be replayed, and if it affects my body at all, I will smile then, at peace, knowing it was all worth it in part to this one ineffable moment.

What else is there to say? My cold seemed to come back but it went away again, and it was hardly even noted (at least not by me--and we were all wet enough anyway). I found out that the wind was LIGHT (like how fast would I have gone in a HIGH wind???) Because we messed with the boards (including the beginner board I had borrowed), we failed to miss the churches getting out and ended up eating at a Pizza Hut for awhile to give the traffic a chance to die down more.

Now I am home. I've showered, dishes are now washing, warms are washing and hots are drying. Today was awesome, and I'm sharing. If you get a chance to try something new like that, and to be out in nature in a way that helps you to fuse with it, if just for a moment, then avail yourself of the moment. If more people did, psychiatry would be an endangered profession.

As the Wiccans say, Blessed Be (it seems appropriate to now).

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posted August 16, 2013 08:06 PM            

I think you give life meaning. Whatever you subscribe to, whatever you believe or don't believe in - it's your choice, and it's you're life you're living right now. Most people in life pursue happiness without knowing what happiness really is. Some people pursue enlightenment and peace, but those are fleeting concepts. A few people live to be the best they can, for reasons from karma to simple sense of right.

Personally, I live for myself. I live for what I want to, and pursue what empassions me. There are things that I want, material things, immaterial things, and I'm not going to stop living until I have them - and that's all there is to it to me. It can seem like a rat race, but what's the alternative? Not living? Well, what does that accomplish? Can you tell I have some fire influence?

I think true happiness is having a sense of purpose, and not only that, but feeling content in living your purpose. So if you're feeling down, maybe think about what you want. Think about your dreams, your goals, your desires - and live for that.

posted August 16, 2013 08:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Blackbird:
Ami, you can probably help out here. You told me that we can find life purposes by seeing which house our North Node is in. I have NN in the 5th, which means I need to live like a Leo: boldly. Take center stage (at least sometimes), take risks, have fun. Create my own happiness. Think less and daydream less; follow my impulses and live with intention.

earthypisces, can you post your full chart, or a link to it?

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Yes, NN shows one of our reasons for being here. It is hard to do because it is usually what we don't WANT to do.

SN is our comfort zone by house and sign.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 16, 2013 09:05 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by somethingexcellent:
Many people question that in their life. What is the point of living?

I think you give life meaning. Whatever you subscribe to, whatever you believe or don't believe in - it's your choice, and it's you're life you're living right now. Most people in life pursue happiness without knowing what happiness really is. Some people pursue enlightenment and peace, but those are fleeting concepts. A few people live to be the best they can, for reasons from karma to simple sense of right.

Personally, I live for myself. I live for what I want to, and pursue what empassions me. There are things that I want, material things, immaterial things, and I'm not going to stop living until I have them - and that's all there is to it to me. It can seem like a rat race, but what's the alternative? Not living? Well, what does that accomplish? Can you tell I have some fire influence?

I think true happiness is having a sense of purpose, and not only that, but feeling content in living your purpose. So if you're feeling down, maybe think about what you want. Think about your dreams, your goals, your desires - and live for that.

At least that way you can die happy knowing that you lived your life with purpose, and not die simply because.

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Wonderful post SE xx

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 16, 2013 09:41 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 16, 2013 09:48 PM            

I had a dream years ago that I was the Rider-Waite Empress sitting in the wheat field and eating a bowl of collard greens, saying, "I came to this lifetime for the food!" Lol, dunno what that was about.

posted August 17, 2013 02:06 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
@Earthy Pisces
You are in a lot of pain. I think your chart has Child conj Deja like I have. Am I right?

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Yes, I have the conjuction in Pisces in the 11th house. They are both also conjunct my Sun and Saturn.

quote:

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Ami, you can probably help out here. You told me that we can find life purposes by seeing which house our North Node is in. I have NN in the 5th, which means I need to live like a Leo: boldly. Take center stage (at least sometimes), take risks, have fun. Create my own happiness. Think less and daydream less; follow my impulses and live with intention.

earthypisces, can you post your full chart, or a link to it?

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I have a Scorpio North Node in the 6th house.

Here's my chart:
http://i.imgur.com/hIyTNAH.gif

posted August 17, 2013 11:41 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by earthypisces:

I have a Scorpio North Node in the 6th house.

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I don't remember how I found this, but I'm so glad I saved it to a bookmark -- now I can share it with someone!

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/014839.html

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(From "Astrology for the Soul" by Jan Spiller, posted here by miss_muffet)

North Node in Virgo / North Node in the 6th House
========================================
Attributes to Develop:
- Participation
- Bringing order to chaos
- Creating routines
- Focusing on the here and now
- Acting on feelings of compassion
- Being of service to others
- Analyzing and categorizing
- Gaining self-confidence through experience
- Moderation
- Taking risks in spite of fears
- Noticing and valuing details

Tendencies to leave behind:
- Being a victim (or having victim consciousness)
- Confusion and disorientation
- Avoidance of planning
- Escapism/addictive tendencies (drugs, alcohol, excessive sleep, daydreaming, etc.)
- Extremism
- Oversensitivity
- Self-doubt
- Feeling of inadequacy
- Withdrawal
- Vagueness (not wanting to commit)/inaction
- Giving up

Healing Affirmations Specific to Virgo North Node:
- I'm the only person who can put this situation in order, so I might as well do it
- This is not a victim lifetime
- When I withdraw, I lose; when I participate in creating positive results, I win
- When I focus and have a plan, the whole universe opens the pathway to success.

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quote:

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North Node in Scorpio / North Node in the 8th House
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Attributes to Develop:
- Self-discipline
- Choosing constructive change
- Releasing whatever causes stagnation and low energy
- Eliminating nonuseful possessions
- Enjoying things without having to own them
- Accepting support from others (ideas, money, opportunities)
- Enjoying high-risk situations that make one feel alive
- Awareness of others' psychology (their desires, wants, needs, motives)
- Openness to partnering, supporting, and merging power with others

Tendencies to leave behind:
- Attachment to comfort and the status quo
- Possessiveness
- Overconcern with accumulation and ownership
- Questioning past decisions
- Stubbornness
- Getting bogged down in sensual appetites
- Repeatedly doing things one way (the hard way) even though another way is easier
- Resistance to change and others' input

Healing Affirmations Specific to Scorpio North Node:
- Embracing change will lead to vitality
- When I choose energizing change, I win; when I choose the status quo, I lose
- The alternative to change is stagnation
- As I empower others, they recognize my worth
- When I look deeply into others' values and motives, I know whom to trust

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posted August 17, 2013 11:57 AM            

Will you list the orbs of all these, Friend?
I am going through similar feelings and I will share them with you, later

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 17, 2013 12:34 PM            

The point of it? Experience the whole range of human emotions and feelings, learning, growing, self-awareness, having FUN, loving with every single cell in my body, confronting my fears and inner demons, trusting, believing, offering kindness just so!

posted August 17, 2013 01:29 PM            

But I always choose to see the good in it, too.

posted August 17, 2013 09:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Blackbird:

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Thank you, Blackbird! Great stuff. I genuinely do appreciate it.

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:

Will you list the orbs of all these, Friend?
I am going through similar feelings and I will share them with you, later

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Here's a link to my chart with Child and Deja:
http://i.imgur.com/r15wcT5.gif

posted August 17, 2013 10:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by earthypisces:
I can be the most optimistic person ever most of the time, but then I have bouts where I come back down to earth and just get slapped right across the face with a cold hard dose of reality. It's really the worst feeling.

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posted August 17, 2013 10:09 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
But isn't it the best feeling when earth gives you a pleasant dose of reality that sends you soaring with the joy of life that makes you the most optimistic person ever?

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This is a good point.

posted August 17, 2013 11:27 PM            

I know being alive is so hard and we just want to cry sometimes.

posted August 17, 2013 11:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
I don't know the point of living and I'm still trying to find out myself, I'll let you know my reason for living when I figure it out.
You can also do the same too!

I know being alive is so hard and we just want to cry sometimes.

I'm sure you'll find something worth living for, that's pretty much our goal as humans.
However killing yourself is silly because you'll never find out why you were meant to live in the first place.
When you're 90 years old and still never found a reason to live atleast you can say there was no point.
Atleast you'll know haha.

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Great post. It actually did make me feel better.

posted August 19, 2013 06:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
I don't know the point of living and I'm still trying to find out myself, I'll let you know my reason for living when I figure it out.
You can also do the same too!

I know being alive is so hard and we just want to cry sometimes.

I'm sure you'll find something worth living for, that's pretty much our goal as humans.
However killing yourself is silly because you'll never find out why you were meant to live in the first place.
When you're 90 years old and still never found a reason to live atleast you can say there was no point.
Atleast you'll know haha.

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I love how you write. What do you have that conjuncts Gem 9? I can't remember. That is my Venus and it is Unaspected, so I really feel what touches it, for good or bad lol

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 19, 2013 06:10 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal