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Author
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Topic: Something I have noticed
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 7261
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 20, 2013 08:01 PM
  
When I have posted about my dating woes in the past several of you have said things like "You dont value women as friends,you only want sex" or "You need to focus on having purely platonic relationships with women".My observations have led me to believe that men and women are equally responsible for making platonic friendships next to impossible. The reason I say this is because looking back on my life girls have either been into me sexually/romantically or not at all. Also when I was younger I really did try to forge friendships with girls and they wanted nothing to do with me or they developed a crush and wanted to date me,there was no middle ground lol. Sure, I had so called female friends but we never hung out or did anything together, ya know the stuff real friends do together.Also none of my friends have truly platonic female friends. One of my closest friends has a girlfriend and a circle of female friends, he is very popular with the girls lol. Wanna know whats odd? None of these friends are truly platonic friends. He has had sex with,dated,or fooled around with all of them at one point or the other, none of them started out as "just friends". So I guess my point is maybe men and women are both guilty of mostly seeing the opposite sex as potential sex/relationship partners. IDK thats what I have seen though. Thoughts?IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 45448
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 20, 2013 08:28 PM
I always have male friends. I can make male friends very easily. It is much harder for me to trust women. I would really love a female best friend but I have not had one for awhile. It takes a very special chart for me to trust a women, I think. She would need a tender Moon like Cancer or a trined Moon like Scorpio or Pisces. I like a water sun like Scorpio or Cancer because they seem loyal. I really hate betrayal because I had a lot from my mother. Water Suns seem like they are loyal and if you get into a fight they don't trash you in public 
I don't know if these guys really wanted more and that is why they were my friend, though.
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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 5719
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted August 20, 2013 08:33 PM
You cover the general truth. Most of my platonic female friends have seen me naked before. Those who haven't are wives of husbands I know. Otherwise, it's next to impossible to have a female best buddy doing some of the things I like to do. My Mrs. is the closest I have come to finding a male friend in a female body. Male and females get together and eventually they get too close and want to jump each others' bones if the parties have mutual attraction. It's just the way we were built. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 7261
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 20, 2013 08:36 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I always have male friends. I can make male friends very easily. It is much harder for me to trust women. I would really love a female best friend but I have not had one for awhile. It takes a very special chart for me to trust a women, I think. She would need a tender Moon like Cancer or a trined Moon like Scorpio or Pisces. I like a water sun like Scorpio or Cancer because they seem loyal. I really hate betrayal because I had a lot from my mother. Water Suns seem like they are loyal and if you get into a fight they don't trash you in public
I don't know if these guys really wanted more and that is why they were my friend, though.
Yes,
there are definitely exceptions to the rules but they are rare imo. Like the friend I used as an example, I have yet to see a truly platonic male/female friendship that is close. It has been my experience that men and women who spend any amount of time together have an attraction to one another, even if its slight. From my own personal experience giirls have either wanted to date me or kept me at more than arms lengths.
IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 7261
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 20, 2013 08:41 PM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
You cover the general truth. Most of my platonic female friends have seen me naked before. Those who haven't are wives of husbands I know. Otherwise, it's next to impossible to have a female best buddy doing some of the things I like to do. My Mrs. is the closest I have come to finding a male friend in a female body. Male and females get together and eventually they get too close and want to jump each others' bones if the parties have mutual attraction. It's just the way we were built.
Yes,
thats what I have seen too. Girls have either been interested in me sexually/romantically or wanted nothing to do with me. So the question remains, Why do people insist on telling me I need female friends when the females only see me as a piece of meat or utterly unappetizing,nowhere in between? lol
IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 5913
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted August 20, 2013 08:46 PM
I have male friends but I wouldn't say we're "close" to each other.
They're more like buddies I occasionally talk to and hang out with.I do not think a great, platonic friendship is possible between a man and a woman.
It's just a matter of time before one or both of them actually develop a romantic / sexual attraction to the other.
IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 5719
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted August 20, 2013 09:10 PM
The thing is... There may always be commonality or even a majority of common ground, but I find it impossible to find an overwhelming abundance of common interest. Difficult to be true buddies if there isn't a predominance of the same hobbies, discussion points and even opinions. I can't go talk about my male centric stuff for too long before eyes roll. Therefore, the common denominator is the bedroom. IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2323
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted August 20, 2013 09:22 PM
Keep in mind your age demographic AG, basically young people looking for "the one" or otherwise physically attractive to each other. Over time it changes, YTA is right though a purely platonic best buddy/let's go camping and nothing happens situation is probably not going to happen unless they are scientists or naturalists etc. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 2440
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted August 20, 2013 09:22 PM
Young people are just young and silly and think with their *ahem* (at times).. it happens.. male or female.. it happens..As you age - you will be friends with girls. Stop stressing.
It's very easy to be friends. No one is responsible for anything because there isn't such a big world problem here. Many people would say they are 'just' friends with someone of the opposite sex. IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 2440
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted August 20, 2013 09:22 PM
Oh my God Padre!Same time! Almost same content! LOL IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 2440
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted August 20, 2013 09:25 PM
quote:
I do not think a great, platonic friendship is possible between a man and a woman.
Well I am in one.  I think sex & sexual attraction is so irrelevant to having a close friendship. You can be attracted or un-attracted or having sex with or not having sex with - your BEST friend (male or female) And you can also be attracted, un-attarcted, having sex with or not having sex with - your worst enemy (male or female) IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2323
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted August 20, 2013 09:27 PM
I noticed that as well..que twilight zone muzak IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 2440
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted August 20, 2013 09:28 PM
^^  IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 5719
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted August 20, 2013 09:37 PM
It's tough. Should I talk about resonator deletes, Magnaflows, Brembos and EGR Valves? I can talk all day about ECUs with Aquaguy, or headers and manifolds. I can't do that with my women friends. Even the women race car gear heads at the track I go to have a limit to their tolerance for guy talk. IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2323
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted August 20, 2013 09:52 PM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
It's tough. Should I talk about resonator deletes, Magnaflows, Brembos and EGR Valves? I can talk all day about ECUs with Aquaguy, or headers and manifolds. I can't do that with my women friends. Even the women race car gear heads at the track I go to have a limit to their tolerance for guy talk.
I'd bet they could talk driving fast tho. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 5719
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted August 20, 2013 09:54 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
I'd bet they could talk driving fast tho.
They can talk while driving fast too, as well as talk about driving fast. They are incredible. Sorry for the guy talk. Look at this video. Sabine Schmitz has a 120-130 hp deficit, and yet not only keeps up but passes the male race car driver on the Nurburgring.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFgxUSOdecY IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 4434
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted August 20, 2013 10:25 PM
Bisexuals are the living example that it's possible.End of discussion. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 45448
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 20, 2013 10:29 PM
I think like a man but talking about cars is too much  ------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 45448
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 20, 2013 10:31 PM
I have to add that I love friends with Moon in Cappy but not romantic people but platonic friends because they are so practical and real world oriented. I crave that------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 4434
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted August 20, 2013 10:33 PM
I would actually have sex with most of my friends if I felt naughty enough.
That does not interfere with me being able to share a friendship.I mean most lovers are friends anyways.. Also I don't see the big deal anyways, you're single....
If two friends fall in love, well that's just great. Unless you can't control your d and have to **** every girl you meet lmfao..
That's kinda sad actually.  IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2323
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted August 20, 2013 10:36 PM
Kero that is sort of AG's point, it is not that you'd actually get down with most of your friends, it is there is a level of physical attraction.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 45448
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 20, 2013 10:40 PM
K LOLIP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 2440
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted August 20, 2013 10:52 PM
I'm very open to anything - Pisces Merc so you wouldn't bore me if you talked about cars YTA - but you'd have to explain things if I didn't understand something haha
I don't find technical type conversations uninteresting.IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 2440
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted August 20, 2013 10:56 PM
Kero - That's exactly what I was getting at. Why can't we have sex and be friends anyway? IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 2763
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 20, 2013 11:22 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Thoughts?
Plenty of men and women are obsessed with being with someone else "that way." But not all are. I'm not surprised your group is as you describe it, however.
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
looking back on my life girls have either been into me sexually/romantically or not at all
What I believe what's happening is that you are personally not interested in "just being friends." That's fine, not everyone is, as long as you're honest about what you're interested in and not interested in (plenty of women don't want their men to be friends with other women anyway). Therefore you push them away (feeling "friend zoned") and thus you only have women into you that way or not at all because you won't allow anything else (at least not for long). That is it's not that women can't be friends with men, it's that they can't be friends with guys like you (again, nothing wrong with that, plenty of women are the same way in reverse). IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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