Posts: 119
From:
Registered: Aug 2013

posted August 24, 2013 09:22 AM            

---

What is too humble, too modest? How is a person too humble, too modest??

In American terms.

In corporate world.

In life.

IP: Logged

Posts: 4546
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012

posted August 24, 2013 09:34 AM            

---

Nothing wrong with being proud and trying to be the best version of yourself.
However when you think you're above others, that's just delusional haha

With that said, I actually look down on people who don't have confidence in themselves.
If you don't believe in yourself why should I believe in you?
As for people being humble, who cares?
I don't brag about every accomplishment I make either haha.
Nobody wants to hear that.

IP: Logged

Posts: 364
From: One World
Registered: Nov 2009

posted August 24, 2013 11:40 AM            

---

There's a small difference between the two. Modesty being not flaunting yourself or talking yourself up. Humble being an inner state, in the realm of accepting or respecting another's authority, wisdom, intellect etc. and not feel the need to challenge it.

The way I see it, the majority of men are brought up to be non-humble. Since men invariably challenge each others' authority all the time, whether verbally, mentally, or physically.

I don't know about, "In American Terms". However, in the corporate world, I would agree with Kerosene. Companies are best off putting forward their best image. All things being equal, which they never are, would you choose a company that says;

"we're the best at what we do"

or

"we're pretty good at what we do"

I agree with Kero again, be proud of who you are, and be the best you, that you can be. Bragging about every accomplishment can be tiring for others.

I do think that those who are the most outspoken, sometimes also not modest or humble, will get further in life because they are willing to put themselves out there. Who are you going to take more notice of? In the corporate world, where time is money, those that sell themselves the best will win.

Being humble and modest in life... Well it's the opposite to taking everything for granted, to being arrogant, to believing you are always right. Some people believe they are better than others. Sure they may be better at specific individual things, but as a whole person, I can't see anyway how you can compare and contrast two people. They are exquisitely unique.

Maybe you might want take the line, "well surely <Insert terrible figure e.g. Hitler, Saddam Hussein, etc.> was a worse person than <insert kind, generous figure> ?"

Yes, yes they probably were.
"But I thought you just said..."
Yes yes I did.
Life is like the square root of 2. It's irrational.

------------------
Learn lots. Don't judge. Laugh for no reason. Be nice. Seek Happiness. Follow your dreams.

IP: Logged

Posts: 45734
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted August 24, 2013 01:00 PM            

---

Humility is knowing your RIGHT size.

People have the word wrong and think it is being weak. It is knowing and accepting who you are--good things and bad, according to the Bible and that is where I get MY info

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

IP: Logged

Posts: 31685
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 25, 2013 07:32 PM            

---

Confidence is different from humility. Humility comes from a place of service. True confidence does not boast. And sometimes you have to lower yourself to be brought higher. But it doesn't mean you lack confidence.

IP: Logged

Posts: 31685
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted August 26, 2013 07:28 PM            

---

I find humility to be an admirable trait.

IP: Logged

Posts: 395
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013

posted August 26, 2013 07:34 PM            

---

Not a lot of it around here from what I'm seeing.

IP: Logged

Posts: 2804
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted August 26, 2013 07:36 PM            

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Zander916:
Not a lot of it around here from what I'm seeing.

---

I'd think it would be difficult to find consistent humility on ANY messageboard...we're all posting for the world after all, while most of those who are really humble are much more likely to lurk.

IP: Logged

Posts: 45734
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted August 26, 2013 08:01 PM            

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Zander916:
Not a lot of it around here from what I'm seeing.

---

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

IP: Logged

Posts: 2437
From: vodka fine, I'm so divine
Registered: Nov 2012

posted August 26, 2013 08:10 PM            

---

quote:

---

Randall: True confidence does not boast

---

Why can't you do both! I like to think I'm truly confident - I know what I am and what I'm capable of - but boasting and strutting around is just for the fun and entertainment, not out of a desire for validation. Like telling a tale at a party to make people laugh.

Leo influence, full throttle!!!! No one can stop me!!

IP: Logged

Posts: 2804
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted August 26, 2013 08:24 PM            

---

There's "honest bragging" where you share yourself as it feels good (like sharing a good joke, good news, etc, the joy increases with the sharing), and then there's the kind where someone is either trying to convince the self of something that isn't true (including "protest too much") and/or gain validation from others by claiming things that aren't true to impress others hoping that if they believe in you then maybe you could learn to believe in yourself, too. Or perhaps they just want the praise without doing the work and taking the risk to do it for real, IOW to "steal" the credit for something never done rather than earn it the same way bees will take already processed honey if it's available rather than doing the hard work to make it.

I think one can have too much pride and too much humility, but a balance is good (perhaps even essential) and therefore like a little honest bragging & self-confidence in a person...but the "needy" kind of bragging that's false and shows insecurity beneath their front can be annoying, as is the kind that wants to steal the spotlight from everyone else at all times (be it honest or "needy/insecure" bragging).

IP: Logged

Posts: 2342
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012

posted August 26, 2013 09:10 PM            

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
I find humility to be an admirable trait.

---

I don't, for me it's a sign of weakness of Ego, it is the Id dominating...have far better things to do then play that sort of "aw shucks" game.

IP: Logged

Posts: 45734
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted August 26, 2013 09:15 PM            

---

Padre
Humility is not aw shucks imo.

It is an honest assessment of oneself.

Aw shucks is not humility. It is humiliation

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

IP: Logged

Posts: 4546
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012

posted August 26, 2013 09:25 PM            

---

It's not hard to be humble.
Just keep your mouth shut, easy.
Kanye West gets so much hate for being vocal about his success,
I think it's hilarious and refreshing.

Every time I hear a surgeon say IT'S A MIRACLE, I want to stop them shake their hands and congratulate them on their persistence.

IP: Logged

Posts: 5789
From:
Registered: Oct 2011

posted August 26, 2013 10:48 PM            

---

You need to be at least a bit self effacing. There's actually a civics lecture in the Ivy League that teaches graduates not to discuss their education within the first 10 minutes of conversation unless the issue is broached. You can't go around spouting all your qualifications all the time. It's boring. People get sick of hearing them.

IP: Logged

Posts: 2342
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012

posted August 26, 2013 11:22 PM            

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
You need to be at least a bit self effacing. There's actually a civics lecture in the Ivy League that teaches graduates not to discuss their education within the first 10 minutes of conversation unless the issue is broached. You can't go around spouting all your qualifications all the time. It's boring. People get sick of hearing them.

---

Uhm...YTA...okay

Key is to be more interested in other people then you are interested in yourself

IP: Logged

Posts: 2804
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted August 27, 2013 12:03 AM            

---

Let's not forget the false humility, too. For example, an all too common game among girls (and even some women play it) is to put themselves down expecting compliments in return (and they typically return the favor in a "pact" of "you boost my ego and I'll boost yours"), and to make it doubly annoying it's usually about looks. It even gets played on the internet where someone posts her pic and says, "I'm so ugly" (gods help you if you were to agree... ). And that's not asking for support to me but rather insecurity and blatant manipulation hidden under false humility as they expect to get complimented, otherwise they wouldn't do it. Granted, such females were probably raised with some very negative messages that inspire both the insecurity and the manipulative game.

That said, the overblown "I'm so awesome" that all too many boys (and some men) do can be about as aggravating to me, though I usually find it less annoying than female false humility (unless they're talking what a bad mofo they are and trying to intimidate or threaten). Granted, such males have probably been pushed hard to be #1, the best if possible, with their own toxic messages they got growing up, and seem to be hurt by defeat a lot more to me, which may be unjustified entitlement or may be all the pressure they're under to excel if they want to "be somebody."

IP: Logged

Posts: 72
From: Albany, NY, USA
Registered: Aug 2013

posted August 27, 2013 06:53 AM            

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
Confidence is different from humility. Humility comes from a place of service. True confidence does not boast. And sometimes you have to lower yourself to be brought higher. But it doesn't mean you lack confidence.

---

I think humility is a sign of confidence, oddly enough. They are synonymous with each other to me, especially as life goes on. You can tell when people's confidence is genuine, a life that has endured and come out the better for it. Humility comes from wisdom and wisdom comes from pain. Haha sorry if that sounded like the Dalai Lama.

IP: Logged

Posts: 72
From: Albany, NY, USA
Registered: Aug 2013

posted August 27, 2013 07:00 AM            

---

More to the point, I find confidence to be when someone is genuinely comfortable with themselves. I think it takes a degree of humility and self-awareness to reach this state.

Confidence to me is not a put-on, or an image or behavior, like so many young men try and reflect. It's interesting because they are often reflecting what they see in the media, or through their father's behavior, or caving into society's expectations of how they think a male is supposed to be perceived. This just make the person look all the more insecure, as if they cannot think for themselves.

IP: Logged

Posts: 119
From:
Registered: Aug 2013

posted August 27, 2013 08:05 AM            

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Brendan34:
wisdom comes from pain.

---

so true.

IP: Logged