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Author Topic:   Maternal instinct
I'm so cappy
Knowflake

Posts: 2896
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012

posted October 31, 2013 06:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for I'm so cappy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Can one say that a woman has the maternal instinct if she has no desire to have children but is caring and good at looking after another human beings and animals?

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YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake

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posted October 31, 2013 07:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
A pet or a horde of pets doesn't even begin to approximate what it takes to give birth and raise a child successfully through adulthood. My view is making such assertions is a huge insult to mothers everywhere.

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I'm so cappy
Knowflake

Posts: 2896
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012

posted October 31, 2013 07:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for I'm so cappy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Of course it's not the same. I came across opinions on the net that this instinct doesn't only manifest itself through raising children and I was curious what you think.

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YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake

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posted October 31, 2013 07:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, no offense directed. You now have my strong opinion on the matter.

Of course I have many other strong and unpopular viewpoints (on here).

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Ami Anne
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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted October 31, 2013 07:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
Can one say that a woman has the maternal instinct if she has no desire to have children but is caring and good at looking after another human beings and animals?



I had no maternal instinct because I was afraid to have children. Once I did, I was a really good mother.

Once you see your own children, the maternal instinct kicks in, in most cases.

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I'm so cappy
Knowflake

Posts: 2896
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012

posted October 31, 2013 07:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for I'm so cappy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ok, but what I want to know is do you agree with this extended definition?

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PixieJane
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posted October 31, 2013 08:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Maybe. But there's a difference between being a good host to kids or babysitter and feeling a deep protective, nurturing feeling for someone. One thing I am convinced of is that many people don't need to give birth to a child to feel maternal or paternal instincts, some of the most loving parents are those who adopted and I know of people who became closer and more nurturing to a child than the child's own biological parent (after marrying the said biological parent). Granted, some people can't ever develop feelings for that which isn't of their biological lineage, but others certainly can.

I'm on the fence regarding animals. On one hand animal mothers have been known to adopt other species and treat them as their own (ie, maternal instinct, and humans possess animal instincts). Examples. OTOH it must be stressed that such interspecies adoption is very different in every way from when a human adopts a pet. Plus, from 10 things never to say to a childless friend:
http://www.womansday.com/sex-relationships/friendship/childless-friends

quote:
8. "Your dog is your baby."

Donna, an administrative assistant who is childless by choice, certainly loves her 10-year-old Husky mix, Rusty. Still, she was surprised when a friend complained that her finicky toddler wouldn't eat veggies and then said, "All you have to do is dump some dog food in a bowl." Donna was taken aback. "I laughed at her comment, but inside I resented it," she says. "Did she believe I thought having a dog was the same thing as having a child?" Elevating pets to human status is condescending and insulting, says Utay, because "it implies that your childless friends don't know the difference between an animal and a person. Also, it highlights what childless pet owners don't have, rather than what they do." So feel free to ask about beloved pets, notes Carroll–most friends welcome your interest. Just don't make "pet" synonymous with "baby."


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I'm so cappy
Knowflake

Posts: 2896
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012

posted October 31, 2013 09:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for I'm so cappy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sure. I too think it's possible to love an adopted child as much as you would your own. What if you happen to "feel a deep protective, nurturing feeling for someone" and this someone is not a kid or even human? Doesn't it qualify as the maternal instinct anymore?

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YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake

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posted October 31, 2013 10:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Do that for 16 hours a day for 18 or 21 years and then get back to me. Try giving up your food and your sleep and your sanity day in and day out. Try sacrificing whatever you enjoy for that person. Until then, it's all talk.

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mercuranian
Knowflake

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From: chiron
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 31, 2013 11:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mercuranian     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
plenty of people without a speck of maternal instinct have (or should i say birth) children. taking care of someone while moaning about it and asking for some kind of compensation in return -- whether that be respect, or admiration, or fear in return, is not maternal instinct in my book. (not directed at anyone here, simply my experience and observations)

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Kerosene
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From: Mercury
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posted November 01, 2013 03:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
LOL i agree there is no way I can compare my cat and snake to a human child... sounds absurd that people actually think their pets are like that of human children.
LOOK IM A MOMMY.. lol not really..
You can't really coddle a child like a pet, pets have no responsibilities, but children have to be independent adults...
that's one tiny example...

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PixieJane
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From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted November 01, 2013 04:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
LOL i agree there is no way I can compare my cat and snake to a human child... sounds absurd that people actually think their pets are like that of human children.
LOOK IM A MOMMY.. lol not really..
You can't really coddle a child like a pet, pets have no responsibilities, but children have to be independent adults...
that's one tiny example...

No argument there.

That said, the question is about the instinct and feeling rather than how it's acted upon. How you feel could be remarkably similar though acting on it in a very different way. Likewise a child who is so severely disabled that they'll never live an independent existence changes how the maternal instinct would be acted upon from that of other kids who are expected to one day be independent functioning adults.

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Kerosene
Knowflake

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From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012

posted November 01, 2013 05:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kerosene     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
In general we use pets as emotional support, "I'm lonely I want something to be co dependent on me.."

^ That is the wrong reason to have children..
Children are not emotional support, we raise children because it's the nature order of things, humans are complex beings that need proper shelter and conditioning unlike other beings that just lay eggs and let survival of the fittest take its course.
Children will not love you the same way an animal instinctively shows affection to the provider.

As for disabled children, they are still human, I've seen parents of severely disabled children treat them as close to normal as possible, DIGNITY is the right word. Personally I get insulted when I see people treating infants and young children like animals....

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I'm so cappy
Knowflake

Posts: 2896
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012

posted November 01, 2013 09:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for I'm so cappy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by mercuranian:
plenty of people without a speck of maternal instinct have (or should i say birth) children. taking care of someone while moaning about it and asking for some kind of compensation in return -- whether that be respect, or admiration, or fear in return, is not maternal instinct in my book. (not directed at anyone here, simply my experience and observations)

No lie detected ^^

quote:
That said, the question is about the instinct and feeling rather than how it's acted upon.

Yep!

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I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy.

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