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Author
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Topic: random question
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Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 9516
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted February 01, 2014 03:25 PM
  
I was talking to friend and was complaining about how women are not as attracted to shorter men.and my other friend who is also a psych major claims many women have been programmed to be attracted certain ideals thanks to our culture. I sorta agree with him.. i mean that's what my logic tells me but As the only in the group that has actually been with guys. My perspective is the reason why most women are sexually attracted to tall men is because if a boy is taller that adds an extra dominant factor which is desirable for a lot of girls.
Esp the ones that want to feel feminine. So is it just natural selection is societal programming?
Or both? IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 8017
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 01, 2014 03:38 PM
I think shorter guys are cool because they are less intimidating and I generally gravitate toward them because I feel more secure around them. They have learned to be sweet because they are so short. They try to avoid trouble and not get into fights (I have a phobia about confrontations.) I like them.
I am kinda short myself btw so most guys are taller.5'5 to 5'7 is good. IP: Logged |
I'm so cappy
Knowflake Posts: 4963
From: Saturn (summer house on Chiron)
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 01, 2014 04:34 PM
Equaling being feminine with being (usually much) shorter.
Caring too much about others' opinion.
Both.I don't like this phenomenon either. ------------------
I'm sooo happy! I mean, cappy. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 3936
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted February 01, 2014 05:17 PM
I don't think there's any objective way to accurately know how much is "software" (conditioned into) and "hardware" (ingrained, biological). Both play a part but it's an open question with wide disagreement on where exactly the line falls. (Btw, I've known women who felt bad for being tall and not just because they scared guys away.)But I'd say preferring tall men is probably more social because women are trained to have a man save them as I was saying in another thread about romances (and not just romances, everywhere, including The Little Mermaid, the Lion King, etc). That creates an ideal that many adopt without even thinking about it, the man is bigger and he needs to be strong enough to keep her safe and provide for her (even if size is merely symbolic, symbols are powerful to the mind). And women tend to be judged by other women (perhaps why some women won't have female friends, or more accurately for these types in their experience, frenemies) who can nitpick all sorts of things, and will if given the chance (similar to how people take to trashing those with whatever astrological placements is unpopular this week in the astrology forum), including height. Another aspect females are raised with is "don't settle" on your man (preferably he should be a prince, metaphorically at least but obvious), especially with the connotation that her man is a reflection of her own value (which is why women are routinely attacked through their desirability to men, as in marriage material, and also why some women can be so intense over their wedding day, it's the one day that's all about them--I'm speaking in practice, not in ideals, naturally, that is the way it is, not the way it should be). Explained briefly in cartoon form:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COryMgbOt6g Though more important, IMO--and I mean in general, not to me--is confidence (I can already hear AG screaming in rage)...at the very least a confident guy is more likely to put himself out there which means he's more likely to "get the girl" while a short guy isn't as likely to feel confident for many reasons. But when they do (at least when they do and have lots of money...) then they can do very well (such as Seth Green). Also, there are guys who, for their own social reasons, can feel awkward or embarrassed to be seen by a woman taller than him, too, also keeping such a pairing rare. And that aside...I find a lot of women want to be taken care of (as opposed to partnered with), as in Daddy's little girl forever. Some romances get this way (I dare say Twilight, at least the first book, was much like this, Edward was a father figure who both protected and strictly ordered Bella around, violated her space, and even punished her by taking things away from her, and many readers swooned over the jerk). I've known a handful of people (used to be good friends with one) who were part of the S&M subculture and they said there were definite differences between straight men & women (but once heterosexuality was left behind then it changed, which makes me glad I'm not straight). At least 90% of straight women wanted to be helpless and dominated, and many wanted a "total power exchange" (essentially it's 24/7 slavery as opposed to a "bedroom game where what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom")...and much more interesting to me a gay male dom had multiple women wanting him to be their master 24/7 and they knew he was gay! That is, they didn't want sex, they wanted someone to take care of them if boss them around which reminds me of Edward from Twilight (he wouldn't have sex with Bella either) and makes me think of wanting a daddy rather than a rough or domineering lover. I don't know how common that is but for those that's a factor for then I can see why they'd prefer their men taller, preferably a lot taller. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 38498
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 01, 2014 05:26 PM
I agree with PJ. Women are naturally attracted to taller men due to wanting to feel safe. It's not rational, because short guys can be just as protective. And there are some girls who do like shorter men. But there are always exceptions. Michael J. Fox was loved in his day by many women, and Ryan Seacrest has no shortage of dates (dusually super models). Money and celebrity status trumps biology, it would seem. IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 9516
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted February 01, 2014 06:36 PM
Besides feeling protective.. I was thinking more sexual-biological than emotional.
Like how for men breasts and butt is a turn on- same concept.
When you first meet someone it's about attraction.
I was asking a couple of friends and we were talking about sex and I noticed when hooking up they enjoy/ fantasize about standing sex and wrapping their legs around a guy. Obviously a man with height has longer legs so is able to easily and comfortably accomplish this position.
IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 3734
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted February 01, 2014 06:48 PM
I didn't read any other answers and I'm answering this purely for myself, not other women (I'm probably not the norm since I'm Demi-sexual)I think it looks aesthetically pleasing for the guy to be taller. I know this is conditioning, but I would be lying if I said that it does not irk me a little (from a pure aesthetic perspective) to see tall women with short men.
So aesthetics is the only reason I would choose to be with a guy who is taller (if I was to make that choice). It has nothing to do with dominance.
You simply 'look' prettier as a couple.. When you look all pretty ppl are inclined to love you and it makes for many happy Xmas parties and promotions all around. However at this stage in my life I'm not false enough to care and I feel like I can do just about anything on my own. I'm not fussed about impressing people with appearances. I can impress them with more substantial things. IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 9516
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted February 01, 2014 06:54 PM
Than society has shaped this view.
A lot of times society decides what is beautiful and pleasing.
IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 9516
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted February 01, 2014 06:59 PM
Honestly I think it depends on sexuality.
it just happens that only 4 percent of population are not traditionally heterosexual.You can a small hetero male and prefer large strong muscle women. But he would probably be in that 4 percent too.
Its not blasphemous to say a woman wants a man vs justin bieber.. That's just feminine sexuality.
I don't that needs to be looked down upon either. its just how it is I guess lol. Theres very few adult women that are attracted justin bieber for example they might think he's cute.. or have the mentality oh I bet he'll be hot when he's older. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 8017
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 01, 2014 07:04 PM
Shorter guys are more like friendly buddies to me. I like that feeling of friendship, not this overpowering male who must protect me from life. I'm just not into that. I would rather have someone close to my own height that's more like an equal that I feel comfortable with. They can be a couple inches taller, I am only 5'5. 5'7 is considered short for men so he would still be short to other males and some women, depending on their height. Women would say short, too, if they are conditioned any guy under 5'9 is.IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8759
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted February 01, 2014 07:09 PM
I think all that stuff has gone the way of the dinosaur. Studies have proved that women (atleast in the u.s) are more attracted to softer or more effeminate looking men ( round faces, fuller lips, bigger eyes ) . I'm 6'4 , have a very strong broad build, and traditionally masculine facial features and i don't have any women beating down my door. Funny thing is when people meet me , especially other men, they assume I'm really good with women because I am tall and have broad shoulders. When I tell them otherwise they don't believe me.IP: Logged |
Xodian
Knowflake Posts: 754
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 01, 2014 07:11 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
Honestly I think it depends on sexuality.
it just happens that only 4 percent of population are not traditionally heterosexual.You can a small hetero male and prefer large strong muscle women. But he would probably be in that 4 percent too.
Its not blasphemous to say a woman wants a man vs justin bieber.. That's just feminine sexuality.
I don't that needs to be looked down upon either. its just how it is I guess lol. Theres very few adult women that are attracted justin bieber for example they might think he's cute.. or have the mentality oh I bet he'll be hot when he's older.
Actually, IMO preferences are quite ambiguous when it comes to sexuality as well. One of my best friends is a Libra who happens to be Gay. He is about my height (6'0, 6'1-ish) and prefers that his dates are either about his height or taller. Mind you though, he is about as non-stereotypical Gay as you can get Lol! (i.e. Prefers to hang around with us straight guys, Plays Ice Hockey, etc.) But putting that aside, seems like the "I prefer my partner to be taller" mentality is present within the Gay community as well.
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StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 8017
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 01, 2014 07:18 PM
I get the impression the taller the woman, the taller her man. I don't want to be with a man who is too short, that would be awkward and I would feel weird.
So a woman around 5'9 would most likely want to date a pretty tall man. I can't imagine a 5'9 tall woman would want to date a man who is only 5'7.IP: Logged |
libraschoice77
Knowflake Posts: 1509
From: past, present, and future
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted February 01, 2014 09:18 PM
Being a tall woman at 5'8 I have had quite a few shorter men attracted to me in my time, but thing is I like to having a man taller than me because it makes it feel more on par or equal. It just felt weird to date a guy much shorter than I, made me feel like an awkward mammoth.Though I do agree with Randall, Michael J Fox was pretty good looking for a shorter guy. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 53341
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted February 01, 2014 10:51 PM
I was 5'6' at age 12. I was the tall girl in the class. I envied the petite girls. I felt gawky.
I stopped growing and then I was a normal height. It felt good to have guys who were taller.
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8759
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted February 01, 2014 11:58 PM
Is it any suprise that women would go for a short pretty boy like Michael j fox over a taller guy? What women find attractive today is totally different from what it used to be. My mom wasn't initially attracted to my dad because he was "too skinny" ,she decided to fatten him up.Now maybe I'm wrong but I honestly couldn't picture a girl of my generation saying something like that. I see a similar trend with all the women around my moms age. Almost all of them are married to traditionally masculine looking men, you wouldn't call any of these guys cute or pretty by any stretch of the imagination. 6 ft tall and 200 + pounds seems to be what older women desired. Most girls my age would consider a guy who is 6 ft and 200 pounds gross and fat. LolIP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 8017
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 02, 2014 12:12 AM
Michael J Fox is not what I would call a pretty boy and I had no idea he was even that short until I read it here.
Shortness does not always equate with pretty. It's more about being uncomfortable, for me. Really tall, heavy people are uncomfortable for me physically because I am shorter so I like men to be up to three inches taller but not much more and not more than two inches shorter if that. I don't want to be with someone who is, like, 5'2 or 4'8.IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8759
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted February 02, 2014 12:56 AM
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
Michael J Fox is not what I would call a pretty boy and I had no idea he was even that short until I read it here.
Shortness does not always equate with pretty. It's more about being uncomfortable, for me. Really tall, heavy people are uncomfortable for me physically because I am shorter so I like men to be up to three inches taller but not much more and not more than two inches shorter if that. I don't want to be with someone who is, like, 5'2 or 4'8.
Nobody said short=pretty. I was saying most women today would choose a man with a prettier face over a tall guy. women in the past seemed to favor taller,huskier, and more traditionally masculine looking men.
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StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 8017
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 02, 2014 01:14 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Nobody said short=pretty. I was saying most women today would choose a man with a prettier face over a tall guy. women in the past seemed to favor taller,huskier, and more traditionally masculine looking men.
Where I live, women still like the stocky, masculine red neck type guys, short or tall. That's all I see except for a few metros here and there but they are the exception, not the rule.
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8759
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted February 02, 2014 01:30 AM
^ eh not really. Modern girls like the redneck posers, but not real country boys.IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 8017
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 02, 2014 01:55 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
^ eh not really. Modern girls like the redneck posers, but not real country boys.
Haha, trust me. The more redneck they are, the more the girls like them around here. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 3936
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted February 02, 2014 01:56 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
^ eh not really. Modern girls like the redneck posers, but not real country boys.
IIRC, you live in an area that has the "worst of the South and West Hollywood combined" (I believe it was Padre who described it that way). So I could see that...where you live. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 8759
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted February 02, 2014 02:09 AM
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
Haha, trust me. The more redneck they are, the more the girls like them around here.
Well , I'm talking about how "being a redneck" has become popular. You see these guys who wear Abercrombie and Fitch and live in 350,000$ Homes that think they are rednecks because they wear a john Deere cap and have a nice truck with a rebel flag decal on it. Modern people are shallow and all about image. Being a redneck means having money and toys today. I never will forget when one of my friends introduced a girl to me because she had said she liked country boys. Well turns out I didn't fit her standards of a country boy because I didn't own a boat or jet ski. LmaoIP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 8017
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted February 02, 2014 02:26 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Well , I'm talking about how "being a redneck" has become popular. You see these guys who wear Abercrombie and Fitch and live in 350,000$ Homes that think they are rednecks because they wear a john Deere cap and have a nice truck with a rebel flag decal on it. Modern people are shallow and all about image. Being a redneck means having money and toys today. I never will forget when one of my friends introduced a girl to me because she had said she liked country boys. Well turns out I didn't fit her standards of a country boy because I didn't own a boat or jet ski. Lmao
We have some of those rich rednecks here, don't get me wrong, it's just that others can find someone, too, not just the ones with money in the bank.
Of course, money always helps out and never hurts but you aren't hopeless without a lot.
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PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 3936
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted February 02, 2014 02:35 AM
Just another reason for me to like Toby Keith (the ending, which the latest replies reminded me of):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVRzk3VWOKY IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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