Posts: 1534
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012

posted February 14, 2014 02:14 PM            

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How many people do you think are absolutely authentic in a relationship ie they do the exact same things while in it as when alone?

You know, all the idiosyncrasies...

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Posts: 41
From:
Registered: Dec 2010

posted February 14, 2014 02:42 PM            

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I'm uncompromising when it comes to my values (of which I have plenty. Too many, according to my mother), but I compromise on everything else. I think I'm pretty easy going, and I'm willing to adjust. I think it is important to differentiate between small and big things. When it comes to smaller things I'm very adaptable. With the bigger things not at all.

I don't know if this was the answer you were looking for. Can you elaborate?

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Posts: 1534
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012

posted February 14, 2014 03:22 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by Sibyl:
I'm uncompromising when it comes to my values (of which I have plenty. Too many, according to my mother), but I compromise on everything else. I think I'm pretty easy going, and I'm willing to adjust. I think it is important to differentiate between small and big things. When it comes to smaller things I'm very adaptable. With the bigger things not at all.

I don't know if this was the answer you were looking for. Can you elaborate?

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well you know, do you only pick your nose in private or do you do it always? do you obsessively twirl your hair only in private? do you talk to yourself only in private or do you always do it? etc etc

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Posts: 6723
From:
Registered: Oct 2011

posted February 14, 2014 04:49 PM            

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No way. You wouldn't want to be around men who behave the same if they were left to their own devices. Men wouldn't want to be around men who behave like when they are alone.

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Posts: 41
From:
Registered: Dec 2010

posted February 14, 2014 08:49 PM            

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I really don't think I'm being any different. As I said, I'm completely uncompromising when it comes to myself. I'm not gross, and yes I do wash my hands every single time I go to the bathroom regardless of whether I am alone. Etc. I guess the only thing would be that I would make more of an effort to be tidy at all times. When it's just me in my own space I don't care much if I leave the dishes for later or if I leave a piece of clothing on the floor. If someone else was there I would make an effort to be accommodating. But the same thing goes for if I'm having people over. If I know someone is coming over, even if it is my close friends, my house will be spotless. I'm a little messier when I'm on my own. But I don't think that's being fake or changing my personality to look better. It stems from a wish to make others comfortable when we share a space. Which is why one of course does not do things like burping and picking your nose when there are other people present. It is impolite and discourteous.

Personality wise, as I said, it's a whole different story. I still have the same wacky sense of humour and taste in music and movies as I do when I am by myself. I'm not at all insecure so I don't find any reason to change anything about myself to make myself look different to other people. I am happy with who I am, and I am comfortable showing other people who I am so that they can choose either to take a hike or stay and get to know me better. They would eventually anyway, as I don't think anyone can hide for very long. It would be too exhausting.

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Posts: 8493
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012

posted February 14, 2014 10:39 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
No way. You wouldn't want to be around men who behave the same if they were left to their own devices. Men wouldn't want to be around men who behave like when they are alone.

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What do you mean? Lol guys fart, tell dirty jokes, and lose their filter when they are hanging with friends. But most of them hide that side around women folk.

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Posts: 1427
From:
Registered: Feb 2013

posted February 15, 2014 05:16 AM            

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LOl that would be me. My other half knows everything I do, gross or nice, good or bad. And yah, I do a lot of things that are considered gross and silly by normal standards.

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Posts: 8585
From: Jupiter
Registered: Sep 2010

posted February 15, 2014 06:09 AM            

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No. I am a lot different around people than I am when alone, which is why I need a lot of alone time. People around me are too judgmental and my inner kid is approval-hungry. The adult on a rational plane couldn't give a rat's ass but I have too much emotional baggage around this subject to be too objective.

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Posts: 6914
From:
Registered: Jul 2011

posted February 15, 2014 08:22 AM            

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I'm a lot different when I'm alone, too. Partly because I don't have to speak. Relationships require a lot of speaking, thinking of the right thing to say, worrying about whether I said something too crazy or not. Eliminate those concerns and I am like a different person.

Another thing is, I've never actually wanted to reveal every single thing about myself to another person. I authentically like having some privacy. So I don't lay everything out there for the other person to see.

But compromise and shaping your behavior to conform with the wishes of the other person isn't always bad, it can be a selfless form of consideration and a way to show love. The tricky part for me (Pisces moon) is to find balance in that and not sacrifice too much.

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Posts: 3811
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted February 15, 2014 07:58 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by charlie:
How many people do you think are absolutely authentic in a relationship ie they do the exact same things while in it as when alone?

You know, all the idiosyncrasies...

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Unless the person is wasted (in which case you see them on drugs) or otherwise has no ability to judge and restrain himself then of course people, male and female both, act different when alone. Some of it isn't even conscious, if you're alone you may not have to be alert so become introspective...or bored and thus talk to yourself. I'd be skeptical if someone said otherwise (maybe after 20 years of marriage but even that seems unlikely to me).

Likewise, people with many friends and associations will have different ways of behaving depending on who they're with (and their history, synastry, etc), which may be fake but more often than not is just the part of themselves that comes out by choice or instinct (similar to how one chooses what to wear as appropriate but it's all clothes that belong to that person and hopefully as desired). Think of it as social chemistry, when people mix then different reactions occur.

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Posts: 3811
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted February 15, 2014 08:22 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
What do you mean? Lol guys fart, tell dirty jokes, and lose their filter when they are hanging with friends. But most of them hide that side around women folk.

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And don't forget this!
http://www.boredpanda.com/funny-men-safety-fails/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+BoredPanda+%28Bored+Panda%29

Still, Disney did make sure to add to the end credits of Frozen that not ALL men pick their nose and eat it as the hero of the movie claimed he and all guys did. Just most of them.

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Posts: 8936
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012

posted February 15, 2014 11:47 PM            

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A running joke on my perfection is once I got really drunk off vodka and pom juice and than took a dump and my s.o and party goers were pleasantly surprised that my **** smelled like pomegranates...
(that's a keeper lol)

yeah but Im seriously perfect around someone I'm romantically involved..

Fart when you get home lol

Number one reason why I don't think I could not get married or move in permanently
Everyday.... ehhhhhh

Like that would ruin the perfect facade...because too much effort to be perfect 24/7.
One time we did stay together a period of time and omg the effort... I can't...

But I blame this on Jupiter in virgo square Venus/Asc sun/moon
I want everyone around me to think I'm perfect lol.
even though I have plenty of flaws which im okay with but the things I can control like the way I eat, posture, speak, laugh, smile, clothes, hair, smell, skin, body have to be on point.

As for personality well?
Of course I'm authentic with people I actually like otherwise I can be really shady around people I dislike so I can conceal my intentions.. sneaky sneaky

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Posts: 3811
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted February 16, 2014 10:42 AM            

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Here Charlie, here's what ALL guys (boyfriend, father, preacher...) do when you're not around, no exceptions:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-bWQJcEDvw

Countless vids like that on YT. Not only that, but where it went wrong. As can be expected, several of the failures have been posted as well. For a quick example (and if you don't mind a bare butt being shown) look up "Funny Firework Butt Launching Fail" and click on the vid by Rob mccann. Next time one of the guys shows up here in a bad mood I'm gonna know his roman candle "misfired."

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Posts: 52724
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted February 16, 2014 10:46 AM            

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I think the most authentic you can be is with Moon trine Moon of the Child Asteroid conj the Moon.
Intimacy is from truly getting someone and the Moon and the Child asteroids show that imo

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Posts: 1534
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012

posted February 16, 2014 12:52 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I think the most authentic you can be is with Moon trine Moon of the Child Asteroid conj the Moon.
Intimacy is from truly getting someone and the Moon and the Child asteroids show that imo

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Funny you should say that because I've noticed that with Earth moons I am myself all the time and they couldn't care any less but with some other moons I'm "ummm I'll be back in a few....need to powder my nose..". Also, the one I really really really like has his Child conjunct my moon with 1/2 degree orb.

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Posts: 37685
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 19, 2014 12:52 PM            

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With time, yes.

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Posts: 37685
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 21, 2014 10:16 PM            

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In the beginning, hardly ever, with most people.

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